Ho Hum Another Steroids Story

Texans linebacker Brian Cushing failed a drug test in September before last season, but was able to appeal and play the entire season, winning the league’s defensive rookie of the year award. Now it has been announced that Cushing failed the test, lost his appeal and he will be suspended the first four games of next season. Cushing is vehemently denying that he took PEDs, but will not say what it is that caused him to fail the test. His camp is on spin control and is leaking stories to Adam Scheffter that he passed a lie detector test about taking performance enhancers.

So what? Do we really care? Is it bad that I’ve become so immune to the steroids stories from all these athletes that I don’t really care whether he did or not? It’s not going to stop me from watching football. Do I wish there were no steroids or performance enhancers in sports? Absolutely. Do I really believe that these guys won’t risk shortening their lifespan and shrinking their junk for a chance to make an absurd amount of money? Definitely. They can always claim they were in the pool.

They are redoing the vote for the defensive player of the year. Another big “who cares?” from members of the media who are trying to be make a stand more than anything. Do you think Cushing cares whether he gets to keep his rookie of the year trophy? He knows he was the best rookie on the field, and so do we. Let’s just move on, no one really cares.

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Here’s a major FAIL by a politician trying to talk sports by Boston Mayor Thomas Menino. Not only does he start off by talking about “ionic” sports moments, but he then talks about Varitek splitting the uprights. Ouch. Varitek, the catcher of the Red Sox has never kicked a field goal like Adam Viniatieri has. It’s almost as impressive as the Congressman during the steroid hearing asking if Mr. Palmerry was on drugs when he got his 300th hit. (meaning Raphael Palmeiro and his 3,000th hit)

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And here is Erin Andrews first taste of attention, around the 45 second mark of this video to learn to dance like a BackStreet Boy.

McNabb Fits With Raiders

Time to take a quick break from the NCAA tournament to talk about football. We could spend the time breakind down Chad Ochocinco’s performance on Dancing With the Stars, but let’s not kid ourselves. If we’re going to talk about Dancing, we’re going to put our focus on Erin Andrews who has held her own very well through the first couple weeks. Then again, I could not tell the difference between a foxtrot, a waltz, the cabbage patch or the soulja boy.

Anyway, the Eagles are going to trade Donovan McNabb before training camp, the worse-kept secret since Ricky Martin being gay (not that there’s anything wrong with that). The toothpaste is completely out of the tube, and there is no way to push it back in and bring Donovan to camp. They have their heir apparent in Kevin Kolb and they have their multi-faceted back-up in Michael Vick. They’ve ridden the McNabb train for a long time and it’s taken them to good seasons with no chance of winning it all because he chokes in every big game. Now that they’ve made it known that they are allowing teams to shop for him, the leading contender to get him: The Oakland Raiders. And it is a GREAT fit for both teams and for Donovan himself.

FOR THE EAGLES:

The Eagles are hoping for an Aaron Rodgers situation with Kevin Kolb. They believe they have their next quarterback for the next decade. They have a young nucleus of talent at the skill positions with LeSean McCoy at running back, DeSean Jackson and Jeremy Maclin at wide receiver, and Brent Celek at tight end. This will give them a young quarterback to hopefully set them up at the skill positions for a long time to grow together. In addition, they get compensation that is too high for a quarterback that is on the downside of his career and that has a history of not being able to come up big in the biggest moments. Yet the Raiders are desperate to change the direction of their franchise and will pay more than anyone else for a famous name. If you have a show that has been on the air for 10 years starring Courtney Cox, you know she still has talent but she was never good enough to win awards. Now someone offers you a healthy ransom for Cox and you have Leighton Meester sitting on the bench, it really is a no brainer decision.

FOR THE RAIDERS

The Raiders franchise has been a huge mess since they lost Jon Gruden. They have blown draft picks like JaMarcus Russell, and they have made awful free agent signings like DeAngelo Hall. They have had continual problems with their coaching staff and they are run by a crazy old man. So what better way to lend some legitimacy to a messed up organization than to bring in a solid name to be the face of the franchise. McNabb is a solid, yet moody, professional and would lend some respect to the franchise and bring a leader into the Raider locker room. The Raiders also have some talented players and their biggest problem the past few years was a quarterback who couldn’t throw, and when he did he threw it to the other team. Having McNabb would finally put an end to the Fat Albert experience at quarterback in Oakland.

FOR DONOVAN

As for Donovan himself, at first blush he is going to throw a fit about going from a perrenial playoff team to a dumpster fire in Oakland. However, if he were to stay in Philly, the pressure would be turned up even more than it already is. Philly fans are the most ridiculous fans in terms of their expectations and beliefs about their teams – they really believe they are the favorites in every sport at the beginning of every season and can’t be convinced otherwise. Then when the teams fail to meet those ridiculous expectations, the fans turn on their hometown heroes and act like complete jag-offs. (You didn’t really think I was going to have a post about a Philly team/player without taking at least one shot at the idiots in Philly, did you?) In addition, McNabb’s biggest weakness, other than his intestinal fortitude, has been his accuracy. In the Raider offense which will be run by Hue Jackson, it is not the west coast dink and dunk that relies more on quick slants and short accurate passes where McNabb has not excelled. Jackson will utilize the deep pass (like he had with Joe Flacco) which McNabb has had success with (look at the number of deep touchdowns he threw to DeSean Jackson last season). He could be very successful with Louis Murphy, possibly Darius Heyward-Bey and Darren McFadden playing the role of Brian Westbrook.

Donovan has taken the Eagles as far as he possibly could and he needs to understand his ceiling. He is a solid quarterback that can keep a team in contention but cannot carry them to the ultimate prize. When he had the all-pro WR and RB around him (T.O & Westbrook), he threw up under the pressure – literally. So going to Oakland, he has the potential to turn around a franchise and just bringing the Raiders to the playoffs again would be seen as a huge success. He would become a legend in Raider Nation just by bringing them to respectability – he doesn’t need to win a title. Can McNabb get his head around this concept? Probably not, so he would want to get out when his contract expires after the season.

Lessons Learned from the NCAA Tournament

Well, after getting slaughtered by the second round of the tournament (7 of the sweet 16? Embarrassing!), it’s time for the autopsy to determine what went wrong and what can be improved when picking the sweet sixteen games.

First, since everyone is talking about the “health care reform” package that moved closer to reality, I found a hilarious quote. I don’t actually care what side of the political wall you fall on, you have to appreciate this sentiment: “Shove it down our throats now; we’ll shove it up you’re a$$ in November.” Classic angry protesters. I also found it interesting that the approval rating for the Skeletor look-alike, Nancy Pelosi, was 8%. That’s not a typo. EIGHT percent. 92% of the people disapprove of you. As bad as my picks were for the tournament, I got a lot more than 8% right.

Lesson #1: Offense can trump defense

I’m not ready to declare defense dead, but in this year’s tournament, offense was the king. Kansas had the 5th ranked defense (efficiency adjusted according to Ken Pomeroy), and was shredded by the Northern Iowa attack. Temple and Wisconsin were among the best in the country for fewest points allowed per game. Cornell shot over 50% against both teams and lit them up for 78 and 87 points. Pittsburgh plays a tough physical defensive style, yet it was no match for the offense of Jordan Crawford of Xavier. Obviously, offense is easier on the eyes, much like it was much more enjoyable to watch Erin Andrews on Dancing With the Stars than it was to watch the heavy set woman from Reno 911 (I legit don’t know her name, don’t really care and am too lazy to look it up). Side note: Andrews was fairly impressive on the dancing show but I have less than zero standing to judge dancing, as in my opinion the best dancing I have seen was Usher & Chris Tucker dancing a tribute to Michael Jackson.

Lesson #1 in the Sweet 16: Duke vs. Purdue
Purdue has gotten to the sweet 16 despite the loss of Robbie Hummel by redoubling their defensive focus and holding Siena and Texas A&M to 64 and 61 points, respectively. They will attempt to apply that same defensive grind to the shooting attack of Duke which is led by the perimeter trio of Jon Scheyer, Nolan Smith and Kyle Singler. Will the physical defense of Chris Kramer, E’Twaan Moore and JaJuan Johnson be able to keep the Blue Devils in check? Purdue also was able to harness the lack of respect card (even the President picked them to lose in the first round), but that motivation may wear out by the time the second weekend rolls around.

Lesson #2: Coaching Matters

In the one-and-done format of the NCAA tournament, coaching is critical, especially for the second game of the weekend. The best veteran coaching minds in the game, Tom Izzo, Jim Boeheim, and Thad Motta are still alive. Joining them are the young impressive coaches like Cornell’s Steve Donahue, Northern Iowa’s Ben Jacobsen and Kansas State’s Frank Martin. These coaches have the ability to make adjustments during the game like Tom Izzo after his team lost Kalin Lucas, or the ability to rally his team to believe they can beat anyone like Ben Jacobsen and Steve Donahue. It’s much like Buzz Aldrin on Dancing With the Stars, who was brave to try dancing at 80 years old, but definitely could not really do the required dancing. Yet because he had a good dance partner/coach, he was able to go out there and not embarrass himself.

Lesson #2 in the Sweet 16: Michigan State vs. Northern Iowa
If someone told you there was going to be a matchup with a team that just beat the top-seeded team in the tournament against another team that just lost its best player to a torn Achilles tendon, it would sound like a mismatch. If you then add in that the first team is a mid-major and the second team lost its top player, yet hails from the best conference in college basketball, you might hesitate for a second. And finally, if you find out that the team that lost its best player has the game’s best coach on its sideline, now you’re really struggling with picking the game. That’s exactly what’s happening with the Northern Iowa and Michigan State game. Tom Izzo is the best coach in the country during March, and he is the only reason you don’t count out Michigan State to beat Northern Iowa.

Lesson #3: Success Formula for Non-Majors

Some people are claiming that parity has arrived in college basketball. I don’t buy it. Every couple years the tournament has a season when there are an inordinate amount of upsets, everyone claims we’ve never seen a tournament like that before, and the next year we get three #1 seeds in the final four. I think what’s more interesting than the potential parity is that the teams from the non-major conferences that are having success have found a formula for success: An intelligent coach, a serviceable big man and one star shooter/scorer with the rest of the team guys that can knock down jumpers. Look at Cornell – a strong coach, 7-foot center, a son of an NBA player who can fill it up, and then a cast of screeners who are capable of knocking down a jumper on occasion. St. Mary’s has a big man in Omar Samhan and surrounds him with a bunch of Australian guys who can shoot from anywhere. Butler has effective size and bunch of guards who knock down open three-pointers. It’s the same formula Davidson used with Steph Curry. It’s the same formula George Mason used in 2006 with Jai Lewis inside and Tony Skinn & Will Thomas on the perimeter.

Lesson #3 in the Sweet 16: Cornell vs. Kentucky
Cornell will take that formula into their battle with top-seeded Kentucky this weekend. The Big Red will hope that their disciplined application of the formula will be enough to frustrate the young Wildcats. Side note – why are the supposed “smart” people in the Ivy league too dumb to come up with a better nickname for their teams than a color? The Cornell Big Red and the Harvard Crimson. Rally around a color? Syracuse is the Orange, but that was a change to political pressure from the former name Orangemen. Anyway – back to the point…..Cornell will try to ride the hot shooting to overcome the major talent gap between its players and those at Kentucky. If Cornell can stay hot from the outside and their big guy can slow the inside game of DeMarcus Cousins, the Big Red has a chance to stay in the game.

Tuesday Ramblings - Set Up For Failure

Maybe I should take it as a sign about the people that live in my apartment building. Or maybe like that ridiculous movie coming out “Hot Tub Time Machine” my elevator is a portal into “Crazy World.” Either way, I should know that when I enter my elevator with other people, it’s set up for failure. I’ve written in the past about the crazy old lady who didn’t want her cat to make any friends or hear that it was on its way to be put to sleep. I’ve also shared the elevator with a guy in a full “American Ganster” fur coat & hat – head to toe fur. Well yesterday I ran across another interesting person in the elevator. As I enter the building and head to the elevator, the slightly older woman (probably late 50’s?) is at the elevator already. I’m generally the type of person that doesn’t talk to strangers in the elevator other than a head nod with a smile and a slightly audible “hi” at most. Well this lady is looking at me and it’s obvious she wants to talk or at least say something. So what are my options? I’m trapped in the elevator with her and I can only stare down for so long while her look is burning a hole in the side of my head. So I look up and casually mention something about the weather warming up. And then the craziness begins………..she starts in on how it’s the brightness, not the temperature that makes her happy every morning. She can handle cold weather if it’s bright out and the sun is shining. It just makes her feel better and she’s a happier person and her bird sings prettier when the sun is out, and on and on. I immediately regret my decision to make an innocent comment about the weather. Thankfully we get to her floor, and she steps out and the door finally closed. All I could think to myself was, “Well, that’s what you get for talking to people in the ‘Portal to Crazy’ elevator.”

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People continue to talk about whether the NHL will be able to parlay the success and interest in Olympic hockey into an increase in fans for the sport. It won’t. Unfortunately for the hockey players, while the other Olympic heroes like Lindsey Vonn (debatable, but she has good management), the figure skating guy – Evan something? – and the others are all on the talk show tour for the next week and securing endorsement deals, the hockey players are right back to work. Ryan Miller doesn’t have a chance to sit down with Jay Leno or Jimmy Kimmel and wear a Canadian tuxedo, or a mounty costume to settle a bet. He has to get ready for a rematch with Sidney Crosby’s Pittsburgh Penguins tonight. The NHL is using the Olympic success to set itself up for disappointment.

In addition, it wasn’t the hockey that drew us in. If it was the US versus Canada in the curling gold medal match, the ratings would have been similar. It was the border battle in an event where they were on the field/ice/court at the same time (unlike skiing, bobsledding, skating, etc) in a sport that is among the competitors – along with NASCAR, soccer and golf – for the #4 sport in America. We were watching for national pride and rivalry, and not for hockey. Just like we are going to watch the newest Dancing With The Stars because of Erin Andrews, not because of the dancing. And Andrews appears to be the favorite to win considering she was a dancer in college – not a pole dancer, sorry – and she’s up against people like Pam Anderson, Chad Ochocinco and Buzz Aldrin. Yes, the 80-something year old Buzz Aldrin. I hope they have a defibrillator on set.

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Michael Jordan is in the process of finalizing his majority ownership of the Charlotte Bobcats. Should the people of Charlotte be excited or fearful? I think Jordan is setting the Bobcats up for continued disappointment. After cementing his place as the greatest player to ever live during his time with the Chicago Bulls, his post-Bulls career has been…well…basically a clusterf#ck. He returned to play with the Wizards when it was obvious his skills had withered and his body didn’t have the burst he needed. He then moved on to the Wizard’s director of player personnel, where he drafted Kwame Brown with the first pick and five years later took Adam Morrison with the third pick. He was fired and bought a part of the Bobcats. He brought in his friend Rod Higgins as the GM, and hired fellow Tar Heel Larry Brown as the head coach. He was regularly accused of being absent from the team and having a lack of interest. And now he’s taking a majority owner position?

Does Jordan really want to be involved in basketball or does he just not know what else to do? He has enough money and freedom to live on an island and never have another worry in the world. It seems like MJ wants to get away from the game, but that competitive nature and fire that drove him to be the best ever flares up every once and a while and he finds a way to get back into the game. Then once he’s there, he realizes why he left and doesn’t have the dedication to go through with it.

It’s a strange place for Jordan to be – unlikely to succeed. Look at past stars that went on to the front office and it is littered with failure: Wes Unseld, Elgin Baylor and Isiah Thomas. Brooklyn Decker is a great swimsuit model. Does that mean she can act? We’re going to find out as she has been cast in her first movie.

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Syracuse ascended to the #1 ranking this week for the first time since the 1989-90 season. In that season, they had Derrick Coleman, Sherman Doughlas & Billy Owens but the top ranking was just a set up for failure in the tournament against Willie Burton and Minnesota. Consider this a teaser for tomorrow’s article……it will be a Wednesday Ranking for college basketball linking in 1990. 1990 was the year when mall hair was in, Quantum Leap was a top television show, Kathy Bates won an Oscar for best actress in Misery, and the Dow was at 2,600.

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Tuesday Ramblings

I’m suffering from a serious Favre Overload hangover today. The bottom line is that Favre played great, showed that when he is healthy and prepared he can still make great things happen. It also was obvious that the Vikings are a better team than the Packers at this point, with a strong offensive line, good running game, stout defense, and now a passing game that has to be respected.

So did Ted Thompson make a mistake by not keeping Favre around? It doesn’t really matter because QB is not what is causing problems for Green Bay. The problem is the offensive line, which is causing major headaches (literally & figuratively) for Aaron Rodgers and Mike McCarthy. Because the offensive line has been so offensive, the Packers have had to resort to keeping the TE in to block, rolling out the QB, and other tricks to try and cover up the porous blocking. And when you combine that with the fact that Rodgers holds the ball too long, it is a dangerous combination. Kind of like the combination of giving Chris Berman directions to an all-you-can-eat buffet at Hooters (did you catch the quote from him that it was “Breast Awareness Week” instead of “Breast Cancer Awareness Week” in the NFL?).

I guess Superman has taken off his Tim Tebow and Mark Sanchez underwear and went back to his 2007 or his retro-1997 Brett Favre underwear.

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So the reports are out there that Tony Romo didn’t realize that it was 4th down on the final play against the Broncos. Ouch. Seems like the backwards-hat wearing, happy-go-lucky, Gomer Pyle look-alike, QB is truly suffering from the curse that Jessica Simpson put on him when he dumped her. If it’s true that he didn’t know it was 4th down after forgetting to take the 2nd down spike, it’s another example of how he does not have the ability to be any better than an average QB in the NFL.

I think the best chance he has of ever breaking through is if Wade Phillips and Jason Garrett are fired after this season and Mike Shannahan can come to town and instill some discipline and rigidness to the Cowboys and Romo in particular.

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Tigers-Twins one-game playoff today. Everyone seems to think that the Twins have all the momentum and will win because they’re at home. Howevever (Steven A Smith style), the Tigers have the better pitcher in rookie Porcello starting today, which should be enough to get them through. Yes, they have the distraction of the bizarre Miguel Cabrera story being drunk and having an altercation with his wife in hotel outside of Detroit, but I’m still going with Detroit to end the days of baseball in the Metrodome.

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Supposedly the NBA season starts at the end of this month. Does it really matter until you get closer to the playoffs? So many teams cruise through the regular season knowing they can turn it up for the playoffs, the regular season is unbelievably useless. But that John Hollinger guy does more work at ESPN than anyone I’ve ever seen. Just perusing quickly through the ESPN NBA page, and Hollinger has predictions and previews for not just every team, but every player. In the entire league!!

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Glad to see they busted that dude who was stalking and taking the videos of Erin Andrews. Hopefully he gets locked up and she can get back to being the most valuable sideline reporter out there. And not just because she’s good looking (and she is extremely talented) – I do think she knows her stuff, is well-prepared, and adds actual value to the broadcast. She’s the anti-Tony Siragusa.