Weekend Hangover - All-Star Weekend

A quick version of Love/Hate today for the President’s Day holiday. Most people have the day off, unless your company doesn’t like presidents?

Love

- Random notes from flying back from Milwaukee after helping my sister move:

o On most flights, that couple moments as the plane taxis out to the runway are typically quiet with everyone wrestling to own the arm rest and getting into their newspapers/books/etc. Not on flights coming out of Milwaukee. The people are all so friendly, asking everyone where they’re from, where they’re headed and just generally the friendliest people on earth. “Eh, Marge! Dis guy is from da north side a da city just like yer nephew, Daryl.”

o Only on flights out of Milwaukee do you have the overwhelming smell of pizza and cheeseburgers dominating the flight…..at 10:15 in the morning. And that’s of course before those Midwest Airlines chocolate chip cookies get delivered.

- I thoroughly enjoy a good beat down of Tom Crean, whether he was the coach at Marquette or now that he’s running the Indiana program into the ground. In addition to being an insufferable arrogant prick, I have to ask, Tommy – is there a tanning bed in your office? I just came back from the Midwest and let me tell you, there is no one there as tan as you. The only people close are those that just came back from Arizona, and since you supposedly work 18 hour days as the coach, when do you have time to sit in the sun and work on your tan? I have met Tommy Tan on multiple occasions and heard him give a bunch of motivational speeches. The guy just likes to hear himself talk and just about throws both arms out of socket patting himself on the back while trying to motivate his audience. So it is with great delight to watch TT take regular beat downs outside of the comforts of the pathetic Conference-USA.

- Speaking of Tom Crean, congrats to his meal ticket, Dwayne Wade on his All-Star MVP award last night. And Nate Robinson won the dunk contest over some guy that I guarantee no one other than his mother and his crew knew was even in the league. It seemed like the biggest story from the All-Star weekend was the stadium and the fact that over 100,000 watched the game live at the Jerry-Dome. Although most of them just had to watch it on the jumbo screen where the pictures of the players were actually larger than the real-life version that was playing below the screen.

Hate

- Valentine’s Day in New York. Even the flower places jack up the price on Valentine’s Day in New York. There are very few things that are cheaper in New York than anywhere else, but the two important ones are flowers and dry cleaning. There are so many little places selling flowers and offering dry cleaning (and yes, some of those places are one in the same) that it’s actually very cheap and most places will pick up and deliver for free. However, come Valentine’s Day, those same flowers I was getting for $10 are now jacked to $30. Just another reason why I am a firm believer in buying flowers at random for your wife/girlfriend/girl that you drunkenly make out with every Friday night dancing on the tables so that you’re off the hook for flowers on cheesey holidays. And don’t get me started on the prefix menus at every restaurant forcing you to get 4 or 5 courses each. First, I don’t need that much food because I don’t want to be a deuce (again). Second, your wife/girlfriend/drunken hookup is not going to want to be seen plowing through all those courses either, so she’s going to waste the food, and it’s a waste of your cash that you could be saving towards that 55” flatscreen television.

- When did NBC become the Lifetime network for women? I’ve already covered my lack of interest in the Olympics, but then again, the sports menu is fairly limited this time of year, so I will be checking it out ocassionally. Of course there are only a few sports I am willing to watch, starting with the hockey. Yet NBC has decided to show ice dancing instead of the hockey game between the USA and Canada. Really?!?! Really?!?!?! Honestly?!?!? No S#it!?!?! Who is in charge of their programming, Oprah? And right after ice dancing, they will be showing an after school special “Jenny Eat Something” or “He Beats Me Because He Loves Me”.

- Let me see if I have this straight, the Daytona 500 is the “Super Bowl of Racing” for NASCAR, right? What other sport do you know of that starts it’s season with the Super Bowl? Then again, I guess it’s fitting for a sport where the most exciting parts of the race are the pit stops and crashes. Otherwise it’s just watching people make left turns over and over again.

Tuesday Ramblings - No S#it.

Before getting to the headlines that should surprise no one………I’m a big Packer fan, but obviously not as big as this guy. I watched the game but if I didn’t know better, I would have thought he was responsible for the defensive game plan or something…….

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Mark McGwire admitted to using steroids. No S#it. That’s almost as surprising as when I heard NBA players like to gamble and own guns. Why is this even a story? We knew with absolute certainty that he did steroids – look at the picture. Not just that his arms more than doubled, but look at the size of his head post steroids. It’s the same story as Sammy Sosa or Barry Bonds. Why does the media continue to shove it down our throats as if we really care any more? Mark obviously wants to get the A-Rod/Andy Pettite treatment now that he has admitted it so he can be loved in his role as hitting coach in St. Louis and eventually get elected to the Hall of Fame. We all know many, many baseball players during the 90’s used steroids. It was pitchers on steroids. It was hitters on steroids. Hell, managers may have been on steroids for all we know. We have to just footnote the era and move forward – we can’t go back in time and undo the records – they happened, we all watched and enjoyed it and the media reported on it with excitement. Last quick add – did you see the interview he gave on MLB Network? How much botox does he have in his face? His neck is all wrinkled and old, yet his face is perfectly smooth and doesn’t move even when he’s faking those tears. Let’s just move on.

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USC is struggling to find a coach to replace Pete Carroll. No S#it. So if you see a house with a ton of smoke coming from the roof and the former owner is running out of the house and laughing on his way to the bank, should you just head inside and call it home? The USC athletic program, both basketball and football particularly, is burning down due to repeated NCAA infractions. No current coach in a decent situation is going to leave that situation for USC. The only one who will? Jack Del Rio of the Jacksonville Jaguars, whom theJags would like to fire but are so financially strapped that they can’t. This could be a “get out of jail free” card for both Del Rio and the Jags.

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ABC’s “The Bachelor” show is heavily “steered” and creates story lines to build drama. No S#it. For those of you that have wives, girlfriends or secret obsessions with the show, the following link contains spoilers about the current season. So be warned but feel free to use it to win wagers of any amount against your wives, girlfriends or friends. Unfortunately, it does not contain pictures of Rozlyn, who was at the center of the supposed scandal and kicked off the show. But again, why would we be surprised that they stage/force many of the women to make these over the top statements of how in love they are with the midget pilot?

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Bullets don’t kill a 700 pound black bear. No S#it.

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NBC went cheap by moving Leno to the earlier slot, then reversed course and has now pissed off Leno and Conan. No S#it. I watched the new version of the Leno show once and it was horrendous. It reminded me of a bad high school production with cheap sets, bad lighting and awkward segments. So getting rid of that show is logical. Since Conan took over the Tonight Show the ratings have been awful because Conan does not appeal to the general audience for the show – middle aged and older adults. Conan’s a snarky, arrogant d-bag whose humor relies on him being smarter than you. It would then seem extremely logical for NBC to move Leno back to his original time slot and bump Conan out of the way. Yes, they’ve handled it poorly and yes, someone will get fired for the failed experiment. Yet people are acting with extreme surprise and trying to make a story out of something where the proper response should have been: No S#it.

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I feign interest in a blizzard on Mount Kilimanjaro just to post a picture of Jessica Biel. No S#it. Why would we be surprised about this? I mean, there are legit questions like why is Jessica Biel climbing a mountain? Or why is the granddaughter of ocean explorer Jacques Cousteau with her? I guess it really doesn’t matter.