Hitting the Links - Why Am I Still Surprised By This Stuff?

Really? You get drunk and try to kick your husband and fall into a store window. Yet the owner of the shop is to blame for not having strong enough glass in his front window to withstand your drunk ass? Somewhere the lady who won the lawsuit against McDonald’s for serving her hot coffee is nodding vigorously.

This just seems like a bad episode of Las Vegas or something. How in the hell does a guy just “con” a casino into giving him a $200,000 advance? And they cannot keep him in jail because the warrants are under his false name and not his real name? Then again, I was on jury duty for a couple days last week and there were more than a handful of people that were allowed to be dismissed because they didn’t speak any English. Somehow they were able to get a license/citizenship without being able to speak the language, or they pulled a Sammy Sosa and “pretended” they didn’t understand it.

A fan running on the field in Philadelphia got tased last night (here’s the video of the guy getting tased). Some people are all up in arms about it. Let’s see, you know it’s wrong, and we have historical events like the guy who stabbed Monica Seles or the drunken inbreeds in Chicago that beat up the Royals first base coach. And you have a problem with them tasing a guy not knowing whether he has a weapon? If you do something that stupid, you deserve to be treated like you are stupid.

A guy on the Virginia lacrosse team was charged with the murder of a girl on the women’s lacrosse team. That’s some scary stuff. The strange coincidence that has no real bearing on anything is that he went to prep school with a bunch of the guys who were accused in the Duke lacrosse scandal.

Kobe Bryant might be a great closer, but he does not have a very good public relations team. What was he possibly thinking for this “white hot” photo shoot? I mean, I don’t understand art – I never have and never will – but this just seems weird. Although the best part is the quote from Lamar Odom: “And I married Khloe Kardhasian only a month after meeting her so I don't have much room to talk. But seriously, what are you doing?”

Jesse Jackson has to jump into the fray with a letter to Bud Selig about the new immigration legislation in Arizona. Why isn’t this waste of space writing letters to the NFL? Or the NHL? Or the NBA? And why does Bud Selig have to suddenly get involved in a political issue? Jesse Jackson just wants to get his face on television or in the papers and he seems to make matters much worse than they were before he got involved.

Weekend Hangover - Love/Hate

LOVE

- You can’t stop the Flying Monkey, Calvin Borel if he gets to the rail by the last turn!! Borel rode Super Saver to the victory on a sloppy track at Churchill Downs this weekend, giving trainer Todd Pletcher his first Derby win. The most unfortunate part of the entire event was that the rain put a damper on the hats and ridiculous outfits that could be shown. The best story was the short awkward guy who won a contest that allowed him to make a $100,000 single bet, and he put that money down on Super Saver, which went off at 8-1 odds, bringing the guy a cool $800,000 for winning the contest. That’s awesome. And since there is no reason to post a picture of Calvin Borel or a horse to start the week, I’ll instead opt for a picture of Diane Lane because she is going to be in an upcoming movie about Secretariat and was at the Derby this weekend.

- Coffee is for Kobe Bryant. (to get the reference, check this clip from Glengary Glen Ross – warning: language from Alec Baldwin) Kobe scored 11 points in the final 4 minutes of the Lakers victory in game 1 over Utah, and totaled 30 points on only 19 shots, making 12 of them. He started the game hot, and then coasted through the middle of the game, allowing Pau Gasol to keep LA in the game until Bryant came in to shut the door. Kobe has a banged up finger on his shooting hand and a gimpy knee and is still the most dangerous player in the league at winning time.

- If you missed the opening game of the Cavaliers-Celtics series on Saturday night, you most likely missed the best game of the series. Was it that great of a game? No, but it’s unlikely that the old Celtics will be able to maintain the level of intensity and effort needed to compete with the Cavs. Two years ago the C’s knocked out LeBron on the shoulders of an unbelievable performance from Paul Pierce, and it is unlikely Pierce can replicate that performance this season. Saturday night was the most rest the Celtics will have before a game in this series and they still couldn’t pull out the win. Look for the Cavs to finish them off in 6 games.

HATE

- Shut Up Brett Favre. Obviously he was feeling unloved during the NFL Draft and Chris Berman must have not met his quota of mentioning Brett and genuflecting at least once per 20 minutes when he is discussing the NFL. So Brett decides that he now needs to come out on his website and mention that he needs ankle surgery if he wants to come back next season. Of course he follows it up with comments that it’s not the worst pain and he could play and you shouldn’t think that the injury would be the reason he would retire. Whatever, dude, we’re so sick of your routine and even your most ardent supporters are starting to get sick of this scripted act every spring. Just go away once and for all you drama queen.

- It was unfortunate that the Milwaukee Bucks laid an egg in game 7 against the Hawks on Sunday as the Hawks advanced to play the Orlando Magic. The Hawks are tremendously more talented than the Bucks, but the Bucks were able to stay in the series without Andrew Bogut because they played hard, played intelligent, and played with poise and determination. The Hawks are very athletic, but extremely undisciplined, sloppy, and Mike Woodson was thoroughly outcoached all series by Scott Skiles. But keep your head’s up Bucks fans, I’ll let my college roommate, the biggest Bucks fan I know and a guy we called Bango tell us why it’s going to be okay for the Bucks in the future:

1) Brandon Jennings: It is unreal to think that he is all of 20 years old. With an NBA season under his belt the sky is the absolute limit. Once he can hit a jumper at a 42-44% clip, he will be impossible to stop.
2) John Hammond-took inherited a garbage heap and made it into a 6th seed. Makes you wonder who was the one making things happen in Detroit during their times of prosperity.
3) Andrew Bogut-breakout year this year both offensively and defensively. Unfortunatelty the Bucks luck turned against them in the fateful game he messed up his arm, but he has turned himself into a second team all-NBA center according to many experts. He was also the brain child of the ingenious and incredibly successful “Squad 6.”
4) Scott Skiles – the guy can flat out coach and gets the most out of his players. Continue surrounding him with talent and we can only get better.

- Is it too soon to give up on the Brewers? I hope not, but I do not have v.ery much faith in this pitching staff to turn it around and get them above .500. Add to that the prolonged offensive slumps like this weekend against the Padres (2 runs in 4 games – one of which was a HR from the pitcher?) and you have the makings of a 75 win season at best.

- Well, no matter what Brian Kelley does to improve Notre Dame football, he can’t undo this video. Ouch. I talked to a good friend and golden dome alumni and his response pretty much summed it all up: “I just lit my diploma on fire. I couldn’t be more embarrassed.”

Degenerate Friday - Kentucky Derby!!

There are plenty of gambling options this weekend in the NBA, but the real crown jewel of degenerates will be the Kentucky Derby on Saturday afternoon. The Derby is kind of like an early 1990’s Mike Tyson fight in that there is a ton of hype and build up and then it is over in the blink of an eye. With all the build up and hype, it’s over in just over two minutesNBC has a 3 hour pre-race show where they will give you stories on all of the jockeys and all of the owners. Does anyone really pay attention to the prerace show? I assume that while people are pounding mint juleps wearing pastel colored outfits at their Derby parties the show may be on in the background. If you’re going to gamble on the race, nothing said during a pre-recorded show about Bob Baffert is going to change your bet. The only thing of value will be the weather report.

The biggest story leading up to the race has been which horses have pulled out of the race due to injury or fatigue and the post positions. The favorite, Lookin At Lucky drew the rail which is not favorable due to the layout of the track and every other horse crowding down to get to the rail. The next favorite, Sidney’s Candy, drew the outside post which is not ideal in a field of 20 horses.

According to weather reports, it looks like an 80% chance of rain for the race, which could push back the post time and the track may be a muddy mess. And you know what Kramer learned about being a Mudder….. …..

Unfortunately, according to this site, all of the horses claim to have had success on “off tracks” or in the slop. So does that really change the bets? Not necessarily. I will be making two picks for the race, the pick I expect to win and then a slightly longer shot that will pay off bigger if it wins. And yes, I’ll be taking credit if either one of them wins.

The Pick: Devil May Care (10-1 odds, Post #11)

The only filly in the field who won her debut race at Saratoga in the slop by 4 ¾ lengths. She has a better starting position than the two favorites, which gives her an advantage. My only hesitation is that she will be wearing blinders for the first time during the race. Not sure how that change will affect her, but my amateur opinion is that she has the speed and power to win if she doesn’t get distracted.

The Value Shot: Super Saver (15-1 odds, Post #4)

Trainer Todd Pletcher believes his horse has been training really well on off tracks and Super Saver also won his maiden race on a sloppy track last fall. Combine that with the strong post position and the unflappable Calvin Borel as the jockey and you have the makings of a winner. Borel has won 2 of the past 3 Derby races, so he can never be underestimated, even if it’s easy to overlook him because he looks and acts like an extra from the Wizard of Oz flying monkey brigade.

So expect me to look something like this on Saturday afternoon……but probably without the coat since it’s supposed to be close to 90 degrees in New York.

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From horse racing to another crazy four-legged animal……..Fear the Deer tonight!! Go Bucks!!

Jeff Ireland versus Dez Bryant

As the NFL Draft concluded this past weekend, people begin to analyze what players went higher than expected and what players went lower than expected. Part of that analysis went into why a player slid up or down and what the scouts and team management believed helped or hampered the player. In some instances like the Broncos and Tim Tebow, their brash young coach determined he was drafting the college superstar with debatable pro prospects because he “fell in love with him” after meeting with him face-to-face. Other players slid down the draft board because they had shorter arms than the prototypical player at their position (Brian Bulaga). Then there were guys on opposite ends of the dreaded “character concern” issue that caused the players to slip – wide receiver Dez Bryant and safety Myron Rolle. Bryant was believed to be immature and undisciplined after a rough childhood and upbringing. Rolle was thought to have too much good character and the fear was that he was not dedicated enough to the sport because he took a year off to pursue a Rhode’s scholarship which only around 30 people in the entire world get a shot at. Here is a great and damning article on Rolle’s “fall” to the 6th round and what it says about the NFL and its decision makers.

A side note from that story was the question from the Tampa Bay coaching staff asking Rolle how it felt to “abandon” his teammates to pursue the prestigious scholarship. A ridiculous question, but nothing compared to the question Miami Dolphins General Manager Jeff Ireland asked Dez Bryant during their meeting at the scouting combine. It is known that Bryant had a difficult childhood and his mother had trouble with the law, including serving time for a drug charge. According a report from Michael Silver of Yahoo! Sports, Ireland asked Bryant if his mother was a prostitute. The pundits have jumped up and down and are demanding some action be taken against Ireland for his insensitive question. I make the case that while the question is not the classiest move, there is absolutely nothing wrong with asking it.

First and foremost, Ireland was likely looking see how Bryant would react to being asked an uncomfortable question. Would his temper and emotions get the best of him or could he keep his cool? In this post Tiger Woods/Ben Roethlisberger/Tiki Barber world that we all now live in, they will get pushed and prodded and asked extremely awkward questions from the regular media and the sensational journalists like TMZ or US Weekly. Teams have a right to know and understand whether their employees/players can handle that scrutiny and that pressure. Will they blow a gasket like Milton Bradley or Naomi Cambell? Or will they show poise like Tom Brady when it was known that he would be having a baby with Bridget Moynahan even though they had broken up?

Second, these players are about to be handed a gargantuan contract with a guarantee of nearly $20+ million. If you were about to sign a high profile client, employee or consultant, wouldn’t you want to know absolutely everything there is to know about that person? Don’t you want to make sure there are no other skeletons in the closet so that you’re not facing a Tiki Barber situation in the near future? (side note – Tiki is not getting nearly enough heaped on him for being a dirtbag, so I will continually use him rather than Tiger, Big Ben, Jesse James, or the other litany of unfaithful dudes) It is the equivalent of a background check by your employer before you get hired, only instead of hiring some company to do the research or dig for information he asked him straight up if it were true. (I do however recognize that such a question typically would not be legal for a potential employer to ask their employee in most work place interviews – usually covering your religion, sexual orientation, etc.)

Finally, the careers of these coaches and general managers are tied to the success, or lack of success, of the players that they draft. Remember Bobby Beathard? He led the Redskins to 3 Super Bowl titles in the 1980’s and early 1990’s before leading the Chargers to their first ever Super Bowl appearance in 1995. Yet he is best known as the guy who drafted mammoth bust Ryan Leaf for the San Diego Chargers (not to be confused with a mammoth bust like Helena Mattson in Ironman 2) in 1998 and has been out of the league since he “retired” in 2002 at age 62 (look at the ages of guys like Bill Parcells, Joe Gibbs, and Marv Levy before assuming it was a normal age to retire). The career prospects for Josh McDaniels are now squarely tied to the success of Tim Tebow in Denver and lack of success of Jay Cutler and Brandon Marshall outside of Denver. If those moves back fire, do you think another team is going to hire him to coach or run their franchise? These players hold the fate of these overly-caffeinated and stressed coaches and executives. So can you blame them for wanting to make absolute certain they know everything there is to know about the player, his background, and his ability to maintain his poise before relying upon the player to be a centerpiece of his success?

Could Jeff Ireland have handled the situation with more class by getting to the answer with more eloquent wording? Yes, most definitely. Could he have diffused the situation immediately by explaining to Bryant at the end of the session why he asked the question and apologize for possibly offending him? Again, most definitely. Did Ireland do any of this? Perhaps – we don’t know because we have only heard one side of the story. So don’t rush to judge a guy for being thorough and covering his own you-know-what, even if his method was not the best approach.

Did This Just Happen?

Have you ever given someone a nickname that at the time you did not even realize how accurate you were? Well a few years ago, a classmate of my wife’s was dating a guy that was a meaty former military guy and kind of a spazz. I had only met the guy once when I ran across him in the gym and he came up to me as I was headed back to the locker room and asked me if “got a good pump in” today. That’s the type of meathead we’re talking about. We affectionately began referring to him as “Crazy Joe Davola” like the character from Seinfeld because his name was Joe. The relationship didn’t last long with my wife’s classmate and everyone went their separate ways. Fast forward three years to this story that caught my eye yesterday…Crazy Joe Davola was back. Only Crazy JoeDavola was actually Crazy Joseph Graves and he had been arrested for brutalizing his girlfriend’s small yorkshire terrier dog. Really dude? The little dog nips at you and you bash it with a belt buckle and kick it multiple times? I guess he got a good pump in on the dog. What a loser.

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This highlight has been all over the national news on SportsCenter, Yahoo!, The Big Lead, etc. but I still have to make mention of it here – Bango Buck pulled off the greatest mascot stunt ever. It just barely edged out Will Farrell lighting himself on fire while attempting to jump through the flaming hoop near the end of Old School. Not only did Bango jump from a roughly twenty foot high ladder, he also did a back flip and landed the dunk. Absolutely insane. There were so many things that could have went wrong on the stunt, just attempting it without getting injured would have been impressive, much less actually pulling the move off successfully. The video is impressive, to be sure, but I’m actually more impressed with the still shot which really highlights the height and danger of the move. Well done, Bango.

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Have you ever had one of those days where a couple of things go really, really well, but a couple of things go really, terribly wrong? Well Greg Zaun had that day on Monday against the Pirates. Zaun was on fire at the plate in the Brewers’ 17-3 romp, going 4 for 4 with 5 RBI, 3 runs, 2 doubles and a walk. The type of day you want to get the highlight tape for and replay over and over again for your grandchildren. However, for a brief moment in the 2nd inning, Zaun turned into Mackey Sasser or Chuck Knoblauch. He couldn’t throw the ball back to Yovanni Gallardo on the mound. It was bizarre not only for the action itself, but also because it suddenly got fixed and then there was never an issue again. Also watch the reaction from both Zaun and Gallardo, as they do not laugh, but they also do not seem really bothered by it. Such a strange and surreal moment in an otherwise standard blowout.

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Speaking of the Brewers, my most sincere wishes for get well and get healthy go out to the Brewers’ legendary announcer, Bob Uecker. Uecker is undergoing heart surgery and will miss the next 10-12 weeks of the season. Mr. Baseball has been a staple of Brewers broadcasts for 40 years and hopefully he will be back at full strength soon and adding his unique flair for comedy and entertainment with an unmatched knowledge of the game. Not only was he a great real life announcer, he was awesome in Major League with his famous “Just a bit outside!” or when he was in 80’s sitcom Mr. Belvedere. Get well, Uke.

Is Brandon Roy Heroic or Too Risky?

Brandon Roy gave the Portland Trailblazers an inspirational lift on Saturday night when he made a surprise appearance in game 4 of their series against the Phoenix Suns. Roy has a torn meniscus in his knee that needs surgery and was not expected to be available for Portland in the playoffs. Yet Roy has conferred with the team doctors and determined that it cannot get worse by playing if he can play with the pain. In today’s NBA with the salaries that the players are paid, is Roy playing an act of heroism or an act of idiocy? I say heroism and any columnist that says otherwise is a hypocrite and just trying to stir up a story.

Everyone loves the story of Willis Reed returning to the court for the New York Knicks in game 7 of the 1970 NBA Finals with a severe thigh injury and on one leg leading the Knicks to the title. The indelible image of Reed hobbling out of the tunnel towards the court gave the Knicks life and was a crushing blow to the expectations of the Lakers. Or more recently, remember Michael Jordan pouring in 38 points with severe hydration and the flu in the NBA Finals against the Utah Jazz? The image of Scottie Pippen carrying his teammate to the bench late in the fourth quarter will forever be ingrained in my childhood hoops hero images. There are just as many stories of NFL players playing through pain and injuries, including Brett Favre too many times to count, Ronnie Lott having a part of his finger severed off so he could play, and Terrell Owens playing on a recently broken leg in the Super Bowl for the Eagles.

The case against playing has one glaring example and he happens to be on the opposing team in this first round series: Grant Hill. In 2000, Hill finished 3rd in MVP balloting but injured his ankle with 7 days left in the regular season. He insisted on trying to play in the playoffs against the Heat, and thus began his odyssey of ankle injuries that would last for the following 4-5 seasons, and transform his game from a dynamic slashing franchise player to a complimentary extra. Roy is a young franchise player and if his knee is messed up for the long-term, it will completely alter the outlook for the Portland franchise.

As a result, there are articles out there and a debate on Pardon The Interruption and Around the Horn whether Roy is putting the long-term good of the franchise at risk. Yet what are his options? If he sits out, does he get the LaDainian Tomlinson treatment? Tomlinson was slowed by injuries in the 2007 and 2008 playoffs and took a tremendous amount of heat for taking himself out of a game that Phillip Rivers played with a partially torn ACL. So Tomlinson was soft for realizing that he was hurting his team by playing when he wasn’t able to make an impact?

Roy is damned if he does and damned if he doesn’t. If he’s able to give the Blazers an emotional lift by making brief appearances and doesn’t hurt his team’s chances, I am all for him attempting to play. What’s more, maybe he’s capable of making a play or two which can change the momentum and help the Blazers get past the Suns. I think it is heroic and Roy should be commended for his willingness to do everything he can to help his team win. I’m as impressed with Roy’s determination and leadership as I am with Kristin Cavallari in a bikini.

Weekend Hangover - Love/Hate

LOVE

- I love the folly of people “grading” the team’s NFL draft within 24 hours of the draft ending. It is entertaining to see which teams were winners and losers in the mind of journalists, but the reality is that there is no telling who had a good draft for the next 3 years. There is no telling whether any of these guys are going to live up to expectations and where the sleepers will come from. You wouldn’t judge a movie based purely on reading the book it was based on, right? You need to see the movie and then make a decision. So, yes, as of right now it looked like the Raiders had a successful draft (especially if you include the trade for Jason Campbell to play QB), but then again, it looked like they had strong drafts when they took JaMarcus Russell or Darren McFadden right after they were drafted. Speaking of the book-movie reference, I read the book Up In The Air and saw the movie and there is almost no correlation between the two. I understand that there are always some differences when they make the movie, but it seemed that the only thing the movie and book had in common was a guy who was traveling constantly and going for 1 million frequent flyer miles. I actually liked the movie better than the book, and it wasn’t just because of Anna Kendrick or Vera Farmiga.

- How impressive has Jim Schwartz been in remaking the Lions, at least on paper? Their offense is ready to explode with Matthew Stafford maturing and already having one of the best receivers in the game in Calvin Johnson. They signed Nate Burleson to play opposite Megatron and traded for Tony Scheffler to be the tight end safety for their young quarterback. Then they added Jahvid Best for some explosiveness out of the backfield and if their line can give Stafford some time, they should be able to put up points. Then defensively they drafted Suh to go with recently signed veteran Kyle Vanden Bosch (who excelled under Schwartz with the Titans) to anchor the defensive line. They have the potential to be the third best team in the NFC North, behind only the Vikings and Packers, but well ahead of the Bears. Maybe it’s the new logo that’s changing everything?

- Can someone please get an ice pack for Dwyane Wade’s back and shoulders? He is single-handedly carrying the entire Heat franchise to keep them alive in the playoffs. His performance on Sunday was absolutely incredible in staving off elimination for at least another couple of days. At one point during the game they put up a stat that he had scored 1/3 of his teams total points in the series and was shooting almost 60 percent from the floor….as a guard!! I mentioned it before, but if you’re Wade, how in the world can you resign in Miami this summer? His teammates are worthless. I don’t want to see it, but Wade in Chicago would be a nice landing spot next to Derrick Rose, Luol Deng and Joakim Noah. If LeBron James is Superman (and he put on his own impressive showing Sunday with a ho-hum triple-double), then Wade must be Batman.

- Even though Colt McCoy slid even further in the draft than Jimmy Clausen, I think McCoy is in a better situation. McCoy has only a veteran turnover machine in front of him in Cleveland, and will get to be tutored by Mike Holmgren who has a tremendous record with quarterbacks. Clausen, on the other hand, goes to a Carolina team that will be starting a young guy in Matt Moore and will be coached by a lame duck coach, John Fox in the final year of his contract. While Clausen may be able to beat out Moore, his situation reminds me of the situation his former Notre Dame buddy Brady Quinn went through in Cleveland. Quinn came in only having to compete with Derek Anderson under a coach in Romeo Crennel that had already used up all the slack in his leash. So Crennel didn’t have the ability to be patient to allow Quinn to mature and when they brought in a new coaching staff, there was no reason to keep someone else’s pick.

HATE

- The Lakers effort against the Thunder this weekend was laughable. Kobe only took 12 shots in game 4, almost like he decided to take the night off knowing they only had to win their home games. Kevin Durant was the real deal, posting 21 points and 19 rebounds in game 3 and then another impressive outing to tie the series 2-2 on Saturday. Can the Thunder win the series? It’s still about as likely as Big Ben getting an endorsement deal from Disney. More importantly it has shown that the Lakers are extremely vulnerable to be beaten by an experienced team in the later rounds.

- Taylor Mays pretty much solidified why Pete Carroll didn’t draft him. I’ve never had a hard time taking shots at Carroll for being a jag off, but in this instance, I think he’s in the clear. Mays was drafted by the 49ers and claimed that Carroll lied to him about wanting to draft him and complaining that he was let down by his former coach. Listen, Taylor, maybe if you put as much effort into improving as you do to whining, you would have been drafted earlier. However every report out there said that Earl Thomas (and others) were better safeties than you because you don’t wrap up, you don’t have great closing speed and your footwork is lazy. Mays’ complaints carry about as much weight as if J-Woww would whine that she only gets attention for her chest. Well, duh.

- It was really hard to watch the ABC halftime reports with Rick Reilly watching the Nuggets game with George Karl as he goes through treatment for throat cancer. Karl looks like he has aged about 15 years since he was last on the sidelines and you can see the pain as he watches the game. Karl is a fighter and continues to do battle against the illness, and I have no doubt that he will persevere, but it was difficult to watch him struggle to take his shots, medication and then have to sit there helplessly watch his team play disjointed and fall to the edge of elimination by the Jazz. Keep fighting and get better George.