Weekend Hangover - Love/Hate

LOVE

- Loved Rajon Rondo’s hustle play against the Magic, which was a perfect illustration of the heart and effort of the Celtics destroying the weak Magic. Up 17 in the first half, Rondo dove head first to steal a loose ball that he and Jason Williams were chasing into the backcourt. Williams had the lead and the edge in the race but Rondo’s effort made the difference, and he then got up with a couple dribbles and made a lay up to increase the blow out. The Magic have shown no heart in the series and will likely be able to schedule tee times for tomorrow morning when their off season begins.

- John Axford’s mustache is awesome. I don’t know anything about the guy, but I logged on to watch the end of Sunday’s Brewers win over the Twins and saw Axford’s mustache on the mound closing out the game. It looks straight out of the 70’s. Almost as important as the facial hair was the fact that he was throwing in the mid to high 90’s. That is something the Brewers entire pitching staff has been missing for years. They haven’t had a guy with an electric fastball that can keep hitters from digging into the batters box and being able to stay in there with no fear of the pitcher owning the inside of the plate.

- Amare Stoudemire responded well in Game 3 to rightfully deserved criticism for being soft during the first two games against the Lakers. He had a monster game with over 40 points and double-digit rebounds. The more impressive part was the versatility he showed on offense while hitting mid-range jumpers, and squaring up and driving past his defenders in addition to his typical mad crashing of the rim on great passes from Steve Nash. Like Amanda Seyfried, he showed the full range of his abilities with his back to the basket/camera (in Big Love) and facing up (in Chloe). The question is whether the rejuvenated Amare will be enough if Lamar Odom gets back on a sugar high in future games because he looked like he ran out of Skittles in game 3.

HATE

- The idea of a cold weather Super Bowl. It does not really have anything to do with the fans or the corporations that buy Super Bowl tickets. The bigger issue is that if the weather does not cooperate, it diminishes the level of play on the field. Yes, games in the snow can be fun to watch on television, but don’t you want to see the best teams playing at their highest level of play? Teams having to play in the rough elements will change the game dramatically and force them to alter the way they played to get to the Super Bowl. Where would you rather hang out with Sara Tomassi – at a ski resort where you are only getting glimpses when you’re at the hot tub of the resort or would you rather spend a week in Miami where she’s in a bikini by the pool all day every day? Seems like a no brainer that you would want to keep the Super Bowl in nice weather to make it the most likely that the teams will be able to showcase their skills on the biggest stage.

- Regardless of your political views, why is President Obama wasting time doing a sit down interview with Marv Alberts? I get the whole “I’m a man of the people and a huge sports fan” angle thing that he has been trying to portray. I appreciate him liking sports, but there seems to be some bigger issues out there in the world that need his attention……finance reform, European debt levels going through the roof, unemployment, an oil spill threatening to wreck the gulf coast, terrorism, etc. And stumping for LeBron to come to Chicago is just pathetic and seems overly contrived.

- RIP to Lima Time. Jose Lima died of an apparent heart attack this weekend in Los Angeles and was only 37 years old. Lima was known for his quirky habits, playing the guitar and talking to himself incessantly on the mound. He had success with the Houston Astros but also played for many teams including the Mets, Royals and Dodgers. He was the type of fun-loving, eccentric personality that you could easily root for as a fan.

Fire Ken Macha?

As the Brewers slide has reached 9 games and counting, the heat under manager Ken Macha’s seat has reached a boiling point. The Brewers are a miserable 15-25 for the second-worst record in the National League (only one game ahead of the Astros) so fans and the media believe that management needs to do something to shake things up and show that they are dedicated to winning. The pitching staff has the 3rd worst ERA in all of baseball, are one of only 8 teams that do not have a single complete game and have issued the 5th most walks in baseball. While I am not the biggest fan of Macha, I don’t believe that firing him will fix any of the problems the Brewers have.

What would firing Macha really accomplish? Would firing Kenny change the fact that the starting pitching rarely makes an appearance after the 6th inning? Would firing him cause Trevor Hoffman to stop blowing save opportunities? Would firing Macha solve the rest of the bullpen collapse that has taken place where there is not one reliable arm out there? Would firing Macha get Prince Fielder to focus on hitting and this season instead of looking ahead to his free agency? I think the answer to all of these questions is a resounding “No.” So why would they fire him? Because Macha has less personality (at least outwardly with the media) than Audrina Patridge, and therefore it appears he is incapable of rallying the team to stop the slide.

The demise of the Brewers was less of a surprise than the revelation of a sex tape involving Kendra Wilkinson. To fix their NL-worst starting rotation from last year, they signed a 33-year old who had just put together a couple of strong seasons (Randy Wolf) and a left-handed Jeff Suppan clone in Doug Davis, whom they had already let go a few seasons earlier. They brought back a 42-year old closer. They continue to hold out hope for a Manny Parra to become an average major league pitcher, and they have now held on too long and he has lost any and all trade value. Why did we believe that this pitching staff was good enough to compete with the Cardinals, Reds, or any of the other solid teams in the National League?

The other end of the equation, is who would be the replacement for Macha? Dale Sveum? Yes, he was the interim manager that held the post for the last few weeks of 2008 and into the playoffs. Did he really do anything other than have more life than Ned Yost? He was so unimpressive that he was not really considered for the full time gig for 2009. And now suddenly he is going to be the answer to fix the Brewers? I just don’t see it. So where do they go instead? Willie Randolph? Is he a big change from Macha? Probably not. The point is that the Brewers should not fire Macha without knowing who they are going to replace him with and if that person is really going to make a difference. Michaelangelo wouldn’t have been able to paint the Sistine Chapel if he was using finger paints.

Firing Macha might make the fans and the media happy, but be reasonable about what effect it will actually have on on the field performance.

Always An Adventure With Airtran

I’ve mentioned in the past my disdain for Airtran, easily the worst of the so-called value airlines. Flying Airtran is just like partying with the North Carolina basketball team…only the exact opposite. It was another recent adventure trying to get back to New York from Milwaukee this week with the airline. I had booked a one-way flight from Milwaukee to LaGuardia as I had flown into Chicago for my brother-in-law’s graduation. Get to the airport, through security and board the plane without issue. As I’m watching the plane board, I’m noticing that the flight is less than 40% full, which is always a bad sign. Sure enough, immediately after everyone has boarded, they announce that there is a 30 minute ground delay, which isn’t a big deal except that they are going to allow people to deplane while waiting. Always a bad sign, meaning they know it’s going to be more than 30 minutes. Sure enough, within 10 minutes, they announce the flight has been cancelled due to “weather in New York.” Really? Do they really think we’re this dumb and gullible? I had spoken with my wife and looked at the weather on my blackberry. I’m not a weather man (I’m right more than 30% of the time, so I’m overqualified) It was 60 degrees, cloudy with no rain and winds under 10 miles per hour in New York. So that’s the weather cancelling the flight? Or is it actually that the plane was so empty it didn’t make business sense to waste the fuel flying an empty plane out to New York? I understand the decision, but don’t just make things up.

As we’re deplaning the lady at the desk is overwhelmed by the people begging her for information about what’s going to happen and what flights they can get. She starts telling people they will either be on the next flight or be routed through Atlanta. As I’m walking to another agent at a gate 50 yards away (in order to circumvent the line and get rebooked immediately) I get an email from Airtran notifying me that my flight was cancelled. Thanks Airtran for keeping me informed about my flight after I’ve exited the plane and am already rebooked on a different flight.

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A couple of quick thoughts while cruising at 35,000 feet…..

The Celtics have absolutely dominated the Magic in no small part because Vince Carter has went back into his shell as a less than clutch performer. With a healthy Garnett, an accurate Pierce and a dominating point guard in Rajon Rondo, the Celtics look unstoppable. The Magic are lost offensively because the Celtics are inviting them to feed Howard in the post so they can foul him and not leaving the Magic shooters open on the perimeter. The only way the Magic can score is with penetration and the only guy on their roster capable of doing that is Carter because Rondo has owned Jameer Nelson. And Carter isn’t capable.

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I was going to save this for a separate post, but it may be time to put Trevor Hoffman out to pasture. It’s a shame that the future Hall Of Famer and all-time saves leader has fallen so far so fast, but he just doesn’t have it. He has blown 5 of 10 save opportunities and has an ERA over 13. The problem the Brewers have is who to put in that spot. LaTroy Hawkins has closing experience, yet he’s on the disabled list and has been hammered this season as well. Todd Coffey just came off a shelling at the hands of the Reds so his confidence can’t exactly be peaked. Does that leave Carlos Villanueva as the closer by default? The Brewers are on pace for a 100 loss season as of this moment and need to do something to turn the tide of this ship. More tomorrow on the people calling for Ken Macha’s head……..Kenny is not the one blowing late game leads and Kenny is not a starting pitcher that can’t last past the 6th inning and Kenny is not the underachieving first baseman worrying more about his contract than about earning this year’s salary.

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The Lakers will take a commanding lead in the series tonight, and the reason will be that despite the Suns playing better defense this year than they have in the past, they are still not playing complete defense. The biggest culprit? It’s easier to score on Amare Stoudemire than it is to score as a cast member on Gossip Girl. Doug Gotlieb described Lamar Odom and Pau Gasol as getting “microwaved” by Stoudemire’s “defense” because as soon as you see him guarding you, you’re already warmed up and about to be on fire. And then for Amare to come out and say Odom had a lucky game when he got lit up for 19 points and 19 rebounds? And yet despite his obvious deficiencies, Amare is going to opt out of his contract this summer and someone is going to give him an outrageous contract. Just doesn’t make sense and I’ve questioned it in the past as well.

Did This Just Happen?

Have you ever given someone a nickname that at the time you did not even realize how accurate you were? Well a few years ago, a classmate of my wife’s was dating a guy that was a meaty former military guy and kind of a spazz. I had only met the guy once when I ran across him in the gym and he came up to me as I was headed back to the locker room and asked me if “got a good pump in” today. That’s the type of meathead we’re talking about. We affectionately began referring to him as “Crazy Joe Davola” like the character from Seinfeld because his name was Joe. The relationship didn’t last long with my wife’s classmate and everyone went their separate ways. Fast forward three years to this story that caught my eye yesterday…Crazy Joe Davola was back. Only Crazy JoeDavola was actually Crazy Joseph Graves and he had been arrested for brutalizing his girlfriend’s small yorkshire terrier dog. Really dude? The little dog nips at you and you bash it with a belt buckle and kick it multiple times? I guess he got a good pump in on the dog. What a loser.

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This highlight has been all over the national news on SportsCenter, Yahoo!, The Big Lead, etc. but I still have to make mention of it here – Bango Buck pulled off the greatest mascot stunt ever. It just barely edged out Will Farrell lighting himself on fire while attempting to jump through the flaming hoop near the end of Old School. Not only did Bango jump from a roughly twenty foot high ladder, he also did a back flip and landed the dunk. Absolutely insane. There were so many things that could have went wrong on the stunt, just attempting it without getting injured would have been impressive, much less actually pulling the move off successfully. The video is impressive, to be sure, but I’m actually more impressed with the still shot which really highlights the height and danger of the move. Well done, Bango.

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Have you ever had one of those days where a couple of things go really, really well, but a couple of things go really, terribly wrong? Well Greg Zaun had that day on Monday against the Pirates. Zaun was on fire at the plate in the Brewers’ 17-3 romp, going 4 for 4 with 5 RBI, 3 runs, 2 doubles and a walk. The type of day you want to get the highlight tape for and replay over and over again for your grandchildren. However, for a brief moment in the 2nd inning, Zaun turned into Mackey Sasser or Chuck Knoblauch. He couldn’t throw the ball back to Yovanni Gallardo on the mound. It was bizarre not only for the action itself, but also because it suddenly got fixed and then there was never an issue again. Also watch the reaction from both Zaun and Gallardo, as they do not laugh, but they also do not seem really bothered by it. Such a strange and surreal moment in an otherwise standard blowout.

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Speaking of the Brewers, my most sincere wishes for get well and get healthy go out to the Brewers’ legendary announcer, Bob Uecker. Uecker is undergoing heart surgery and will miss the next 10-12 weeks of the season. Mr. Baseball has been a staple of Brewers broadcasts for 40 years and hopefully he will be back at full strength soon and adding his unique flair for comedy and entertainment with an unmatched knowledge of the game. Not only was he a great real life announcer, he was awesome in Major League with his famous “Just a bit outside!” or when he was in 80’s sitcom Mr. Belvedere. Get well, Uke.

Weekend Hangover - Love/Hate

LOVE

- The Jon Gruden “QB Camp” show on ESPN was absolute gold. Not quite “Carrie Underwood at the Country Music Awards show” gold, but extremely entertaining. Gruden has a passion for the game and an understanding of the quarterback position that is on par or above anyone in football today. He also has a sense of not taking himself too seriously (calling himself the FFCA – the Fired Football Coaches of America) while getting his point across to the young quarterbacks. I have to believe the only reason he’s not coaching somewhere is because he doesn’t want the stress – he loves the game and gets full access to all the players and all the film while toiling away at ESPN. Yet something tells me he will be back on the sidelines soon. Watching him dissect film with Sam Bradford, Jimmy Clausen, Colt McCoy and Tim Tebow showed an insight into the players’ personalities as well as what Gruden cherishes in his signal callers. I won’t be doing a mock draft (I don’t try to understand the nuances of offensive lineman – they need to have long arms. Or they don’t – see Joe Thomas) so maybe tomorrow I’ll give my thoughts on each quarterback just from what I’ve seen of them playing and watching this heavily edited show. (that’s my caveat in case my predictions are as bad as my NCAA basketball picks)

- During last night’s country music awards show, LL Cool J came out to introduce an award and opened by saying “this is my first country music awards show.” Really? You don’t say. You mean “Momma Said Knock You Out” and “Around The Way Girl” didn’t qualify for country music awards. That was the second most surprising part of the show. The first was trying to figure out who Laura Bell Bundy was and if she was actually the offspring of Al Bundy on Married With Children.

- Watching the NBA playoff games this weekend and a familiar script took shape in every game I watched: Cleveland vs. Chicago, Atlanta vs. Milwaukee, Los Angeles vs. Oklahoma City and Orlando vs. Charlotte. In every game, the favorite jumped out to a big lead of 20+ points, then in the second half the underdog rallied to get back in the game, only to have the favorite keep them at a punching distance despite the tries by the announcers to make you believe it was a close game. I suppose it’s to be expected considering the short shot clock and the “momentum officiating” that is so prevalent in the NBA, but it didn’t make for entertaining basketball to watch. I turned off each game for a considerable time in the middle of each game knowing I could come back in a half hour and the game would be closer.

- The Lakers struggled down the stretch of the regular season, giving hope to fans of the Mavs, Suns, and the rest of the Western conference. Well, Andrew Bynum came back to start the playoffs and suddenly, the Lakers look more like the team that was rolling through the league earlier in the season. Everyone will focus on Durant’s struggles against Ron Artest, but that’s not surprising. Artest has the ability to slow him down and we knew that. What we didn’t know was that Bynum would come back with a vengeance, scoring 9 points, grabbing 5 boards and blocking 3 shots in only 15 minutes of the first half. If he can get his conditioning back by the Western Conference finals, it will be as tough to slow the Lakers as it is for a tight dress to contain Christina Hendricks.

HATE

- Kevin Garnett has always played with a rage and intensity that bordered on lunacy. Well the elbow he threw at Quentin Richardson was dumber than Lindsay Lohan. He got himself a 1 game suspension for a Celtics team that has very little room for error. The game was over and there was no need for the elbow. Yes, Richardson is a clown and shouldn’t have been over there chirping in Garnett’s ear. But it doesn’t make it any less dumb for Garnett to fire the elbow at a useless nomad. He is a 15 year veteran and has to know better than that. On the other hand, it makes that series much more interesting, however due to the NBA’s horrendous scheduling, I have no idea when this series continues. Too many of the series have 2 day breaks between games 1 and 2 – there isn’t even a travel day!!

- I know the season is young and it’s not time to press the panic button for any baseball team yet. However I’m losing hope quickly on the Brewers chances to compete this season. Their starters are not up to par and their bullpen appears shakier than Ben Roethlisberger’s reputation. They have blown late leads regularly and it appears there is something wrong with LaTroy Hawkins shoulder because he does not have the velocity or strength that he had in his first couple outings. And it sure appears that the Brewers signed a left-handed version of Jeff Suppan in Doug Davis. There was a reason they let him leave town 3 years ago, right? And a reason the Diamondbacks were happy to see him go this past offseason, right? What made us think he’d suddenly regain a form from 4-5 years ago? Davis was spotted a 10 run lead on Sunday before he threw his first pitch and couldn’t survive five innings to qualify for the win. Then combine the poor pitching with pathetic offensive efforts like Saturday against the lowly Nationals and you have all the ingredients of a disappointing season.

- Speaking of the NL Central – there are little things that show when a team is for real. The Cardinals and Adam Wainwright showed it on Sunday. After the Cards and Mets went 20 innings on Saturday, blasting through their pitching staffs, both teams were in danger of wearing out their bullpen early in the season which could have long term repercussions for the rest of the season. Instead, Wainwright takes the ball and throws a complete game on Sunday night, giving his bullpen a day to recover and not have the extra inning game throw them off kilter. Those are the little things that make the difference. Imagine the Brewers needing to rely on Jeff Suppan, Doug Davis or Dave Bush to give their bullpen a rest. Exactly. That’s why the Cardinals will run away with the division.

- I caught a brief part of the Red Sox game against the Rays on Sunday afternoon, and a random note that the announcer made kind of blew me away. After a strong play by the Ray’s left fielder (I’m too lazy to look up who it was) of a ball bouncing off the Green Monster at Fenway, it was noted that the guy was comfortable at Fenway because it was his 70th game at the stadium. 70th!!! And he’s never played for the Sox. If that’s not a sign that the baseball season is too long and too imbalanced with divisional games, I don’t know what is.

- Two quick thoughts on announcers. Vin Scully celebrated his 60th anniversary announcing games. His first game was in 1950. That is incredible. He has one of the best voices, tells amazing stories and also weaves in a tremendous amount of information into his playcalling. Listen to his play call of the infamous Bill Buckner call. Listen to his call of the Kirk Gibson homerun in the 1988 World Series. Just pure verbal poetry. On the other end of the spectrum, I listened to some of the Orlando-Charlotte game on TNT and heard Kevin McHale doing the color commentating. McHale’s knowledge of the game and understanding of the nuances of playoff basketball is beyond reproach. Yet much like I have a face for radio, McHale has a voice for something other than broadcasting. I can’t put my finger on it, but his voice has a nasal tone or something that was like nails on a chalkboard. Play to your strengths, and announcing is not McHale’s strength.

Quick Hits - Hoffman on Fumes & Fielder's Contract

- Is Trevor Hoffman officially running on fumes? He has remained effective the past few years despite the lack of an overpowering fastball due to an above average slider and changeup. Yet in the first week of the season he blew two saves against the Cardinals by giving up gopher balls. On Friday night, the homer he gave up was a slider that stayed in the zone a little too long and it was golfed out of the park. On Sunday night he gave up consecutive dingers to Albert Pujols and Matt Holliday when he couldn’t get a fastball by either one of them. Hoffman is 42 years old and his fastball tops out at 87, which makes his change-up at 82-83 less effective. If the Brewers are going to stay close to the Cardinals, they are going to need Hoffman to be like Rene Russo in The Thomas Crown Affair – a strong closer able to slam shut games when the starters and set up guys give him a lead.

- Speaking of the Brewers, this article from John Heyman of Sports Illustrated reaks of a PR ploy from Scott Boras about a contract for Prince Fielder. Prince Fielder is NOT going to get a $200 million contract from any team in baseball. I like Prince a lot. He is one of the most fearsome power hitters in all of baseball. But the Brewers cannot and will not give him that big of a contract. The Yankees are already locked into Mark Texeiria at first base, so there goes the next big team that would spend on him. Combine that with the potential of Albert Pujols and Ryan Howard also being free agents at the same time and suddenly the market for Prince drops dramatically. I’m not smart enough to know the angle Boras is trying to play (make the Brewers look cheap when they offer him $160 over 8 years?) but I can’t see how this helps either side in the negotiation. Joe Mauer got $184 million from a bigger market team in Minnesota as the #1 catcher in all of baseball, and one of the best hitters in the game. Fielder may be the 4th best hitting first baseman (Pujols, Howard, Texiera) and is not a gold glove defensive player. As much as I want him signed, I’m concerned about how his portly frame will hold up in 6 or 7 years when he is 32 years old and there is no DH in the National League.

- Ben Roethlisberger is an idiot. We’ve already established that based purely on the circumstances of whatever happened at the Midgeville, GA bar. But listening to the details that the DA laid out in his press conference made it obvious that he thought Big Ben was a scumbag but he didn’t have the evidence needed to prosecute him. And Ben, when you’re about to go on national television and read a contrived apology, maybe you could shave or trim the hair? Just a thought so you don’t look like you just crawled out of your double wide down by the river and you’re in search of your smokes and another can of PBR. (Update: Ben shaved his face and his head before meeting with the Commissioner)

- Could there have been a more anti-Tiger story to win the Masters this weekend? Phil with his perfect family, and winning for his wife while she recovers from cancer. Absolutely incredible story, despite the fact that CBS and its announcers kept trying to make us believe that Tiger was going to make a run at him. Phil now has 3 green jackets and officially shed his choker label. He has become a guy that everyone can feel good rooting for.

- While out in Northern California this week, one of the news stories that was littered in all the newspapers was Don Nelson breaking the all-time wins record in the NBA. The national media didn’t seem to be paying much attention to the story, but being near the Bay Area, the local papers were all over stories of how Nellie revolutionized the game with his “small ball” approach and the invention of the “point forward” position. Does anyone know who the first point forward was? Paul Pressey of the Milwaukee Bucks. I guess I always thought of Pressey as a point guard and never realized he was actually a forward. I also didn’t know that Nelson turned down an offer to coach the Celtics at the tail end of the Bird/McHale/Parrish era out of loyalty to the Bucks general manager at the time. Had Nelson went to the Celtics, he would have certainly won the NBA title that has always eluded him and kept him out of the conversation for the leagues greatest coaches ever. And I thought all he did was revolutionize fashion with his fish ties. (I can’t find a picture of Nellie in a fish tie anywhere. Did he not wear them as much as I recall?)

- I can’t remember an NFL off-season where so many trades have taken place of big name players. The latest is Brandon Marshall being traded to the Dolphins. It follows the trade of Santonio Holmes, Donovan McNabb and Antonio Cromartie earlier in the off-season. In every case except McNabb, the teams tired of dealing with the turdish behavior of talented players and took discounted deals to get rid of them. A 5th round pick for a 26 year old former Super Bowl MVP coming off his best statistical season? Then again, if Hollywood could trade out of Lindsay Lohan, Jessica Simpson, Kate Gosselin any other number of pathetic divas, I’m sure they would. Even for a 5th round pick like Australian Michelle Hunziker.

Heisman Vote - Brewers Signings - Snow Man Video

We’ll get to my thoughts on the Heisman, but first my thoughts on the Brewers action in free agency, my Thursday Night NFL pick, and at the end, a snowman video.

The Brewers were active yesterday, signing two veteran left-handers to bolster their pitching, which was putrid last year (starting pitching ERA was tied for last in the majors). Randy Wolf, a 33-year-old starter was signed for 3 years at $29.75 million, and LaTroy Hawkins, a 37-year-old reliever inked a 2 year deal for $7.5 million total.

The Hawkins signing seems like a pretty good deal for a veteran reliever that can be a set-up man for Trevor Hoffman, and has closing experience if necessary. Hawkins still has pretty good pop on his fastball, hitting the low-90’s consistently, which is a perfect contrast to Hoffman and his devastating change-up. Last year Brewers opponents saw Suppan’s 86 mph fastball, followed by Carlos Villanueva’s 87 mph fastball in the set-up roll before Hoffman came in with his 89 mph fastball. Now, hopefully Hawkins ability to consistently buzz the plate in the low 90’s will not allow the hitters to sit on the heater.

At first blush, I was underwhelmed by the signing of Randy Wolf, and confused by how aggressive the Brewers were in going after him. I’m still a little fearful that giving a 33-year old a 3 year contract could be risky, but after looking at the numbers, reading about his career and looking at the other options, I am firmly in the “good signing” camp on this one. Wolf has good velocity on his fastball and has a wicked curve. He has been healthy since his return from Tommy John in 2006, among the league leaders in starts in 2008 and 2009. He is an innings eater, and is a perfect core component of a good pitching staff. While that sounds less than thrilling, it is.

I think his upside is a great #2 in the rotation, and his likely production will make him a very solid #3 starter. So doesn’t $9 million seem expensive for a #3 starter? There are two ways to look at it: First, would you have traded Mike “K”ameron for Randy Wolf? I would have in a heartbeat. “K”ameron made $10 million last year. Second, there weren’t better options out there, and the Brewers may not be done. Basically, the Brewers were at the dance, scouting the talent, and they had more than few drinks in them to drown the sorrows of last year's disappointment. After that seventh drink, they decided they had the money to buy a drink for the best looking girl at the bar - and you're hoping that she turns out to still be good looking once you sober up - like Jenna Fischer after a couple seasons of The Office.

With the money they saved trading J.J. Hardy, they might still be in the running for Jarrod Washburn, a Wisconsin native. There is also still a chance they can pull off a trade for Javier Vazquez of Atlanta by dangling Matt Gamel out there. And finally, what about Ben Sheets or Mark Mulder? I know they’re coming off injuries, but they have tremendous upside if they can return to some form of their old selves. If you can ink them to an incentive-laden deal, wouldn’t that be worth it? We know Sheets has the stuff to be a #1 starter, but we’re also all too familiar with his injury history. I’d be willing to ride that roller coaster again now that we have Gallardo, Wolf, Parra, Bush & Suppan already in the fold.

Oh, and this guy has way too much time on his hands for this breakdown of Randy Wolf, and proves that baseball is a game that can be a little too reliant on stats. It’s kind of like choosing a wife based purely on her 36-24-36 measurements, and not taking the fact that she’s crazy into account. Something Chuck Finley probably should have thought of before tying the knot with Tawny Kitaen.

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I don’t actually have a Heisman vote, because surprisingly, they don’t hand out votes to guys whose athletic careers peaked in middle school, and don’t work as an actual journalist. But if I did have a vote, here’s how my ballot would look, working from the bottom to the top:

Write-In Vote: CJ Spiller – RB, Clemson
The guy is the most electric player in college football. He can score through kick returns, punt returns, rushing, receiving, and he even threw a touchdown pass.

5 – Tim Tebow – QB, Florida
I would vote Spiller higher than Tebow, who has been a great leader, but not a great player this year.

4 – Colt McCoy – QB, Texas
On Thanksgiving, I thought McCoy was wrapping up the award, but his terrible clock management and poor play in the SEC Championship cost him the chance. He wasn’t good in the biggest games of the year.

3 – Ndamukong Suh – DE, Nebraska
He was completely dominant against Texas, and will likely be the #1 pick in the NFL Draft. Yet as a defensive player, he doesn’t move the needle enough to be a Heisman winner.

2 – Mark Ingram – RB, Oklahoma
He was a monster in the SEC Championship, guaranteeing Tebow won’t win the award. He has put up great numbers, and might resemble Emmitt Smith. But he was awful against Auburn with 19 yards on 16 carries, and on the bench during his team’s comeback.

1 – Toby Gerhart – RB, Stanford
The guy is a beast and put up huge numbers against the best opposition he played against. In an underwhelming year of top players, Gerhart is the choice.

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THURSDAY NFL PICK

BROWNS (+9) over Steelers
The Browns are playing much better, Brady Quinn resembles an NFL quarterback, and the game is in Cleveland. Pittsburgh is coming off losses to Oakland, Kansas City & Baltimore, and reeling. Quinn can take advantage of the struggling Steelers secondary (if Gradkowski could throw three 4th quarter TDs…..) and put enough points on the board to get the cover.
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What would you expect to happen when a foot of snow drops on Madison, and the University calls off school the following day? Amazingly, the kids went out and got hammered and made snowmen in the middle of the street……..

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This has been flying around pretty quickly, but it’s a great spoof on Notre Dame buying out Charlie Weis. And now that Brian Kelley has admitted that he is “pro-choice” he may have removed himself from consideration as their next coach. Randy Edsall of UConn is the next guy to go through the car wash……….