Degenerate Friday - NBA Playoffs - EAST

Yesterday we broke down the Western Conference and now it’s time for the East……..By the way, great move by the Zen Master, Phil Jackson making his comments about Kevin Durant getting too many calls. It couldn’t have worked better. Yes, Phil had to make a donation to the league/charity, but he got in the head of all the officials before the series even began – just as he has done every single year he has ever coached (whining about the treatement of Shaq, the treatment of Jordan, etc.). And more importantly, Durant walked right into it, saying he felt disrespected. Durant should be focused on his team and his game, not comments from the opposing coach. Congrats Kevin, Phil now owns you and will destroy you from the inside out.

#1 Cleveland Cavaliers vs. #8 Chicago Bulls

Cavaliers odds: 1/2 to win the East, 7/4 to win the NBA Title
Bulls odds: 100/1 to win the East, 175/1 to win the NBA Title

And so the quest to keep LeBron James in Cleveland begins again. The question is whether a title helps or hurts the Cavs chances of resigning James. If he wins the title, does he then feel like he brought a title to his hometown and he could then move on to bigger and better things? Or would he feel the pressure to stick around and defend that title and create a dynasty in his home town? The Cavs have all the weapons to win the title surrounding James. They have the big man in O’Neal and depth with Ilgauskas. They have a forward who can score and rebound in Antwan Jamison, and a capable point guard in Mo Williams. Is Mike Brown a good enough coach? Is Brooklyn Decker a genius? It doesn’t matter when you have the best talent.

The Bulls have a solid group of talent on the floor, but the unrest between the coaching staff and management will be difficult to overcome. Vinny Del Negro knows that he is going to be fired after the season regardless of how the deep the Bulls go which has to have a psychological effect on him and the rest of the team. Perhaps the cause of the fight between GM John Paxson and Del Negro started because of Joakim Noah’s minutes, but maybe what pushed Paxson over the edge was Del Negro asking him why he traded a proven playoff perimeter threat in John Salmons that the Bulls could desperately use to try and match up with the Cavs. The Bulls are like Angelina Jolie in that they have some tremendous assets, but when you put the package together their brain trust is pretty messed up and she comes with a bunch of young baggage.

The Cavs have no value for gambling to get out of the East, but they are my pick to win the NBA title. LeBron is at the absolute peak of his game and I would love to see a Kobe-LeBron match up almost as much as ABC would love to see it.

First Round Prediction: Cavs in 5 games

#2 Orlando Magic vs. #7 Charlotte Bobcats

Magic odds: 10/3 to win the East, 6/1 to win the NBA Title
Bobcat odds: 65/1 to win the East, 125/1 to win the NBA Title

The Bobcats are a great story making their first playoff appearance in franchise history and are another success story for the oft-traveled Larry Brown. They play tough defense and gave up the fewest points per game in the Eastern Conference, which they needed because they scored the third fewest points. With the exception of Gerald Wallace and Raymond Felton, the Bobcats are a collection of cast offs and other teams’ unwanted assets – Stephen Jackson, Boris Diaw, Tyrus Thomas, and Larry Hughes. Much like Kristin Cavallari, no one really likes her no matter what she does. Unfortunately for the Bobcats, their best all-around player, Gerald Wallace has struggled against the Magic, averaging only 11 points per game, more than 7 points below his regular season average. That will make it tough when their second scoring option is muffled.

The Magic brought in Vince Carter to be the difference maker and bring them an NBA championship. Prior to the season, I thought pairing a moody guy like Carter with a demanding coach like Ron Jeremy…errr…Stan Van Gundy sounded as dumb as Michael Kay’s pronunciation of Alex Rodriguez’s name on the YES network. Kay insists on calling him Alex Rah-DREE-giz unlike the other 99.99% of the world that pronounces it Rod-REE-gez. Just another example of why Kay stinks. Anyway…where was I? Oh yeah, Vince Carter. Carter gives the Magic a legit second scoring option behind Dwight Howard and makes the Magic the next best option to Team LeBron. Like Emmanuelle Chriqui, they have all the weapons needed, but they fly slightly under the radar. They present matchup problems for the Cavs if they both advance to the Eastern Finals and would be a good bet to win the title.

For gambling purposes, the Magic are a decent bet to win the East and might be worth throwing some cash at. For some reason, I can see the Magic winning the East but can’t see them beating the Lakers or Mavericks. That doesn’t make much sense since I see the Cavs winning it all, and if the Magic beat the Cavs, then they should be able to beat the West champ, right? Not in my mind.

First Round Prediction: Magic in 5 games

#3 Atlanta Hawks vs. #6 Milwaukee Bucks

Hawks odds: 10/1 to win the East, 28/1 to win the NBA Title
Bucks odds: 65/1 to win the East, 150/1 to win the NBA Title

If someone asked you to name the top 3 teams in the East last weekend, you probably would have said, Cleveland, Orlando and Boston. The media is so hung up on the aging Celtics that they have failed to notice that the Hawks actually took care of the #3 seed with relative ease. The Hawks are loaded with talent, but all talent that doesn’t get many headlines. Most people know Joe Johnson because he is going to be a great booby prize that the Knicks land after they fail to land LeBron this summer as a free agent. Can you name the Hawks leading rebounder? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? It’s Al Horford, who averages 9.9 rebounds per game to go with his 14 points. They also have a veteran point guard in Mike Bibby, a scorer in Jamal Crawford, and an athletic wingman (that can match up with Rashard Lewis, Antwan Jamison or Paul Pierce) in Josh Smith. The Hawks are like John Malkovich in that they are tremendously talented and can fill a bunch of roles, but you never really think of them as a great leading actor.

The Bucks were dealt a death blow when Andrew Bogut suffered his elbow injury. With Bogut, they had the potential to beat the Hawks or the Celtics and put a scare into the Cavs or Magic in the second round. Unfortunately without him they are scrambling to have any sort of inside presence that would allow them to hang with any of those teams. The addition of John Salmons was pure genius and when combined with the signing of Jerry Stackhouse the Bucks found a perimeter game that more versatile and dangerous that what was being offered from Michael Redd. Scott Skiles has done a great job this season but the loss of Bogut will be too much to overcome when combined with the fact that rookie point guard Brandon Jennings is too small and not tough enough defensively. Jennings is an awesome offensive talent, but is a huge liability on defense. Atlanta is going to run continual screen and rolls with veteran Mike Bibby and Jennings doesn’t fight through the screens well enough, causing others to help out, leaving Joe Johnson or Jamal Crawford open jumpers. Like Lt. Dan from Forest Gump, the Bucks “ain’t got no legs” without Andrew Bogut.

The Hawks are an intriguing bet to win the East because of their ability to match up with any team in the East. The problem they have is that they don’t have a guy that can take over a game and carry the team on his shoulders. Joe Johnson can be clutch and Jamal Crawford could get hot, but do they have the ability to carry a team over an entire series? I’m not sure.

First round prediction: Hawks in 6

#4 Boston Celtics vs. #5 Miami Heat

Celtics odds: 13/2 to win the East, 12/1 to win the NBA Title
Heat odds: 40/1 to win the East, 90/1 to win the NBA Title

The Celtics are the Pam Anderson of the playoffs. They have aged considerably, but still have the headline grabbing assets and the ability to turn it on every once in a while. However, every time they make that big run and expend more energy, it’s going to take a toll on them and they will be slower to recover. Kevin Garnett was my favorite player in the league for nearly 12 years and it’s almost sad to see how much his knee has deteriorated and taken away his explosiveness. Ray Allen still has a quick and accurate trigger and together with the lightning quick play of Rajon Rondo they will be able to contain the Heat’s strength in the first round. Unfortunately, I see this as the final year of the Celtics window to win, and the window is not open wide enough for Big Baby Davis’s rear end or Pamela Anderson’s front court to fit through.

The Heat have quietly put together a nice season and are hoping that they have done enough to show Dwayne Wade why he should stay in South Beach and sign an extension this summer. They have allowed the second fewest points per game in the Eastern Conference and have the electric scoring option that has proven that he gets all the calls from the refs in Dwayne Wade. The question is whether the Heat has enough in their supporting cast to get them out of the first round and put some fear in the top teams. Jermaine O’Neal has played fairly well, but watching his old bones do battle against the ghost of Garnett will be painful to watch. Michael Beasley has shown strong improvement and maturity this season, but is still only shooting 45% from the field and is not a consistent threat. Like Sophia Veraga, the Heat have one outstanding asset that can only carry them so far.

Stay away from these teams for gambling purposes. The Celtics odds are a terrible value and should be avoided at all costs. The Heat are going nowhere even if they get out of the first round.

First Round Prediction: Celtics in 7 games

NFL Power Rankings - The Fresh Prince of Bel Air

For this week’s NFL rankings, I went back to another great television show from the early 1990’s – The Fresh Prince of Bel Air. The show ran from 1990 to 1996, and right now I guarantee everyone out there is singing the theme song in their head, “Now this is a story all about how my life got flipped, turned upside down. I’d like to take a minute, just sit right there. I’ll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel-Air. In West Philadelphia, born and raised, on the playground is where I spent most of my days...........”

Thankfully this is the final week of byes in the NFL, and it will be a full slate of games from here on out. This week’s big movers on the upside are the Chargers and Cardinals, and on the downside it’s the 49ers.

The Will Smith Category
The Fresh Prince was the engine for the show, the comedic star and the sympathetic dope. Whether it was his macking of the co-eds, his crazy crooked hat, or his general soft gansta style, he always managed to skate through with a little scheming and a little swagger walk. He toyed with the other characters on the show, but in the end, you knew he was always going to be the one to walk away the winner. These are the top teams in the league and the most serious threats to win the Super Bowl. They may toy with the teams below them, but if they lose to any team outside this top tier, it is a disappointment.

1. Saints (Last week: 1) – Eventually it has to catch up them when they continue to spot teams a couple TD start, right? Maybe not when you have the offensive weapons the Saints have. Yet they still have some tough challenges standing between them and a perfect second half of the season with the Patriots, and at Atlanta and Carolina still looming.

2. Colts (2) - Another week, another scare, yet another win for the Colts. And now they have to prepare for the Patriots. The Colts could be in trouble with a banged up secondary trying to slow down Brady, yet you can never count out Manning, the leading MVP candidate.

3. Steelers (3) – A very impressive performance this week in Denver, without a starting safety. The defense looks as good as it ever has, and the rushing game is rounding into form. Right now, the Steelers look like the class of the AFC, even with their two early losses.

4. Vikings (4) – The Vikes couldn’t have had a better bye week. Not only did they gain ground when the Packers and Bears lost, but they also have time for Brad Childress to help heal Brett Favre’s ailing groin.

5. Patriots (5) – The Patriots were ready for the wildcat last week, and now they have to be ready for the Colts. Brady is 7-3 against Manning, and he appears to be back to his 2007 form. They can get themselves in a strong position for home field advantage throughout the AFC playoffs with a win against the Colts.

The Geoffrey Category
Definitely the most underappreciated character on the show. He was witty, slick and always a step ahead of his rich “masters”. He always had a line for everyone, like when Uncle Phil asked him to get his tools, he responded quickly, “Do you mean your fork and knife?” These teams have some fast talking guys (Ochocinco, Roy Williams & Brandon Marshall), and are capable of slapping a loss on any team in the league. Yet, at the end of the day, they’re still a butler to the top teams.

6. Bengals (8) – Another impressive win for the Bengals against the Ravens, and now they go to battle with the Steelers this week. No one would have guessed that the Bengals have a defense on par with the Steelers and better than the Ravens half way through the year.

7. Cowboys (10) – Much like Geoffrey liked to put the fat black Uncle Phil in his place, the Cowboys managed to put a fat white guy (Andy Reid) in his place last week. And yet, everyone is still waiting to see how Tony Romo will play once the calendar reaches December.

8. Broncos (5) – Has the clock struck midnight on the NFL’s version of Cinderella? It’s not time to panic yet, but the concern is that the rest of the league has caught on to the fact that Kyle Orton resembles a lumberjack more than an NFL quarterback at times.

The Uncle Phil Category
Uncle Phil was the rich family patriarch who could shake the foundation of the Bel Air mansion with his angry yells or by jumping up and down. Everyone in the house was afraid of him, and not just when he was wearing those ridiculous dashikis every once in a while. And he also had a strange resemblance to Suge Knight, the head of Death Row Records and accused orchestrator of the murder of Tupac Shakur. These teams can scare every team in the league, but they are a little soft at their heart – which isn’t a good thing in the NFL.

9. Falcons (11) – They let the putrid Redskins hang around a little too long for my liking, but I loved how their coach went after the overpaid, underachieving d-bag DeAngelo Hall on the sidelines – a player he sent out of town 2 years ago. If Mike Smith really wants to mess with Hall, he should just dress up as a WR and Hall will be smoked.

10. Chargers (16) – Well, after their typical slow start, they seem to be finding their strengths – and it doesn’t include Tomlinson or Merriman. This is officially Phillip Rivers’ team, and his weapons are Darren Sproles and Vincent Jackson.

11. Cardinals (17) – After the smackdown they laid on the Bears, maybe they aren’t the underachievers we thought they were. Warner did his best impersonation of Rachel McAdams, a two-face that can look great in some lights (against Chicago) but awful in another light (against Carolina).

12. Eagles (7) – Coach Andy Reid (along with Tom Coughlin) made a run at Jim Zorn for dumbest coach in the NFC East. Down 7 with only a few minutes left, Reid opted for a field goal to cut the lead to……4. Still needing a TD. Maybe he was just hungry to get to the post game buffet table.

13. Texans (14) – If they want to be considered among the top teams in the league and want to win their division, they HAVE to win games like last week against the Colts. Throwing a bad interception and missing a FG at the end are the reasons they remain the frustrating Texans.

14. Ravens (9) – They are firmly entrenched as the 3rd best team in the AFC North, behind the Steelers and Bengals. Their defense is not the same, and the league is starting to figure out ways to slow down their quarterback, Bert. At least they’re still better than the Browns.

The Hilary Banks Category
Hilary was the pretty girl on the show with the fatal flaw that kept her reliant upon her father’s large bank account and understanding – she was an idiot. But she played the perfect bimbo role, spending money and going through life clueless about her shortcomings. These teams have pretty exteriors, but have major problems when you pull back the curtain and shine a light on them.

15. Giants (12) – A 5-0 start has deteriorated into 5-4 when they’ve faced better competition, and Tom Coughlin is officially in crisis mode. He didn’t do himself any favors with a few ultra conservative run calls when a TD could have put away the Chargers.

16. Jets (20) – The Jets are like a weatherman (Hilary’s big break for her career) in that they feel no pressure after making terrible forecasts, and continue to run their mouth that they have it all figured out.

17. Packers (15) – Mike McCarthy and Ted Thompson, your real estate agents are on line 1. They have some tremendous places in Wyoming for you to look at purchasing before January. No, you won’t need to look for places in Bel Air. They have to rally this week against the Cowboys after the debacle last week.

18. Bears (18) – After getting slapped around like Rihanna last week, the Bears are who we thought they were (it’s right up there with Herm Edwards “You play…… to win…… the game.” It just never gets old). Cutler can only do so much without receivers, and a poor defense.

The Aunt Vivian Banks Category
Aunt Viv was the fiery, woman-power and black-power matriarch of the family. She was a major character in the show, and yet somehow, we weren’t supposed to notice after 3 years when she suddenly was being played by a new actress. She went from a very skinny, darker skinned lady to a more relaxed, lighter-skinned lady. And it was never addressed at all, like we were just supposed to understand that Aunt Viv had an extreme makeover. Really? Was it too hard to just write in that Uncle Phil got divorced and remarried? Nah, maybe people just won’t notice. Maybe she was just getting a skin treatment like Sammy Sosa? Seriously Sammy – something went horribly wrong with whatever you were doing and you look like a scary extra from one of those vampire shows. Anyway, these teams have completely changed character after terrible starts, and one of them even changed their actress at quarterback.

19. Panthers (22) – The Panthers looked strong in jumping on New Orleans early, but weren’t able to finish it off. As long as they remain committed to the running game, the Panthers have a chance to play with every team in the league. And most teams won’t have the firepower of the Saints to erase early leads.

20. Titans (25) – Vince Young has taken over, and for whatever reason, it has lit a fire under Chris Johnson who is now leading the league in rushing. Young hasn’t done anything spectacular, but he continues to win. Maybe he’s going to go out and celebrate with a little tequila?

The Ashley Banks Category
Ashley was the little sister, and always was on Will’s side in every scheme. As she got older, they tried to make her into a singing star on the show, and of course, Will was involved making sure things stayed screwed up at every turn. She was young, but had potential, and actually turned into a very good looking girl after she got older. These are the teams have some potential, but have someone (like Will) that keep screwing things up.

21. Jaguars (21) – If anyone asked what the Jag’s record is, I would probably guess it’s 2-6 or 3-5, and yet they are actually 4-4 and on the fringe of the playoff hunt. This is a team that barely squeaked by the Chiefs last week and is playing in front of sparse crowds at every home game.

22. 49ers (13) – The Niners are in a serious tailspin after a hot start, and now face a must win tomorrow (Thurs) night against the Bears. Can they turn it around? They need to or it will be just another disappointing season in the Bay.

23. Dolphins (19) – They battled gamely against the Patriots, but they just don’t have the talent to play with the big boys. I think they kind of resemble Emmanuelle Chriqui, in that they have all the physical tools to be a powerhouse, but they don’t have the ability to make the big plays (or act in Emmanuelle’s case). But they have their big moments – beating the Jets, or being in a threesome in Entourage.

24. Seahawks (23) – They continue to battle despite the injuries, but they are only capable of beating the weaklings in the league. And they were barely able to get by the Lions, aided by the 5 INTs thrown by Matthew Stafford.

25. Bills (24) – Do you think Dick Jauron appreciated Tony Dungy suggesting Michael Vick could end up in Buffalo next year? Actually, he probably appreciated the break from discussing where he was going to buy a retirement/fired house next year. Interesting fact: Trent Edwards has been the best QB out of the 2007 draft, and that is the definition of being the tallest midget. Edwards is 14-15 as a starter, which is tremendously better than JaMarcus Russell (7-17), Brady Quinn (1-5), Kevin Kolb (1-1), John Beck (0-4), Troy Smith (1-1) and Tyler Thigpen (1-10).

26. Lions (28) – The good was that they jumped out to a 17-0 lead on the road in Seattle. The bad was that they blew that lead and lost by a dozen. Matthew Stafford turned it over 5 more times, and he was probably longing for his days back in Athens, Georgia when life was pretty simple and he was the big man on campus.

The Carlton Banks Category
Carlton was the nerdy cousin of Will on the show and always the butt of every joke or prank. He was the ultimate tool, always trying way too hard to be cool, and always the hardworking opposite of the slacker Will. And you can’t mention Carlton without mentioning his love for Tom Jones, and his memorable dance to his song – “It’s not unusual to be loved, by anyone…….it’s not unusual to have fun with anyone.” These teams appear to still be showing effort, but they are a laughingstock and continually get left behind by their popular teams.

27. Chiefs (26) – Well they at least finally rid themselves of the Larry Johnson distraction. And they added Chris Chambers, who responded with 2 TDs last week against the Jags. Todd Haley at least has the team buying into his philosophy, but no one could say Carlton wasn’t trying when he was dancing.

28. Buccaneers (32) – The Josh Freeman Era got off to a huge start with the upset of the Packers, so now we’ll see what he can do for an encore. And I’m not sure, but for some strange reason, I actually prefer those creamsicle orange uniforms for the Bucs. Maybe it just reminds me of when they were a perennial doormat.

29. Rams (27) – They’re coming off a bye week, so at least they couldn’t restart another losing streak until this weekend.

The Jazz Category
Jazz was the clown of the show, only really there for comedic purposes. Well, that pretty much describes these teams as well. They are a joke and really don’t have that much hope of turning it around in the near future.

30. Raiders (29) – The Raiders are actually favored this weekend against the Chiefs, which is the worst game of the weekend. They would be better off having Jazz play quarterback than JaMarcus Russell, and they will not be successful until they acquire a real quarterback.

31. Redskins (30) – Jim Zorn continues to do his best Weekend At Bernie’s impersonation on the sidelines for another 8 weeks.

32. Browns (31) – Eric Mangini is holding back who will be the starting quarterback for the Monday night game when the Browns get slapped around on national television. Really, Eric? Do you think the Ravens care? And now he’s claiming that he didn’t know about Quinn’s escalator contract based on the amount of playing time he receives. On top of being stupid, now he’s just flat out lying. Rumor has it the Human Walruss, Mike Holmgren is on the list for Randy Lerner to come in and run the football operations. Wasn’t he a huge failure as a personnel guy in Seattle, when he had the GM role stripped, and then 2 years later they went to the Super Bowl? How short are the memories of these supposedly successful decision makers?