Quick Hits

While New York is getting all excited for LeBron James next season, the fact that he filed the paper work for a new number next season is strike against the Knicks. LeBron filed the paperwork to change from his current jersey number 23 to number 6, his Olympic number, next season. What does it mean and why would he do it? Well, if he were to sign with a new team this summer, he wouldn’t need to file any paperwork – he could choose any number he wants. So his filing is really only relevant if he stays in Cleveland. Does that mean he’s staying in Cleveland next season? Not necessarily. LeBron has smart people around him, and filing for the number change goes right along with “keeping all of his options open” like he has said he would do from the start. LeBron loves the attention and loves the wonder and mystery of where he will play next season. The Sports Addict Prediction: LeBron James will NOT sign with the Knicks and he will resign in Cleveland. The Knicks will settle for Chris Bosh and Joe Johnson.

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Did you see the article that the earthquake in Chile may have shifted the Earth on its axis? That’s insane. But I think they need to confirm that it wasn’t just Kevin Smith jumping up and down to protest Southwest Airline’s handling of fat people on their flights. Or maybe Kevin Smith was throwing his tantrum at the same time that Rick Majerus was hopping mad arguing that his St. Louis team is still on the bubble to make the NCAA tournament.

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As all of the rumors come out about the NFL draft next month and we hear what team likes what players, keep in mind – it’s in the teams’ best interest to mislead everyone. Obviously, a team that likes a player wants him to slide to them. A team that dislikes a player wants some other team to be a sucker and pick him. Therefore we have already heard that the Rams love Ndamukong Suh, and that they will take a QB like Sam Bradford, and now they love Oklahoma defensive linemen Gerald McCoy. Why would anyone with knowledge of the team’s intentions give anything away to a blogger or journalist knowing that it’s going to be broadcast out to the masses immediately? Because they want to improve their contract negotiations with the candidates for the top draft pick, or they want to make sure their guy is still on the board when their draft position comes up. Right now, anything said by NFL team management is about as reliable as taking acting lessons from Jennifer Love Hewitt.

Side note – if you ever want to get a girl angry or fired up, say these simple words: “You know who is a really great actress? Jennifer Love Hewitt.” It is 100% guaranteed to cause the girl to huff and puff and get entremely annoyed. I am not really sure why that is or what Hewitt has done to women that they absolutely abhor her acting skills, or lack their of. I mean, is she a great actress? No. Yet there is something in all women DNA that causes them to be repulsed when a guy suggests she is a good actress. Try it out and let me know the results. I’ve yet to meet a woman that doesn’t overreact with horror at the thought.

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NCAA Tournament expansion is an absolutely horrific idea. WHY? No #16 seed has ever beaten a #1 seed. There have been very few #2 seeds that have lost in the first round. So do we really think a #24 seed is going to have a chance? Why don’t we just do away with the tournament, take down the scoreboards in the arenas and give everyone a nice ribbon and share some orange slices after the season? More does not mean better. The opening days of the tournament are among my favorite days of the entire year, but it’s because of the 5-12, 4-13, 8-9 & 7-10 matchups. That’s where you get the upsets and great finishes. Yet because of the almighty dollar that ESPN is going to throw at the NCAA in favor of expanding, you know it’s going to happen. It’s about as certain as a Pam Anderson “wardrobe malfunction” on Dancing With The Stars next season.

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Who is the hottest team in the Big Ten since their best player returned from injury? Ohio State with Evan Turner? Michigan State with Kalen Lucas? Or Wisconsin with Jon Leuer? It is hard to take anything from the Badgers destruction of Indiana and Iowa, because both teams are terrible. Yet Leuer has brought an inside presence on defense to go with another offensive weapon for Bo Ryan. We will know more after they travel to Champaign to take on Illinois this weekend. The Badgers have a chance to play their way up to a #3 seed in the NCAA Tournament with a solid run in the Big Ten conference tourney, but look most like a #4 seed. Keys to advancing in the tournament? Strong guard play: Trevon Hughes, Jordan Taylor and Jason Bohannon. Shooting: Bohannon & Leuer. Guys who can create their own shot: Hughes & Taylor. Post presence: Leuer & Keaton Nankovil. Defense: Bo Ryan. The pieces are their and they are getting hot at the right time.

Lane Kiffin is An Ass

I have no affinity for Tennessee on any level. In fact, I probably dislike the state due to a speeding ticket last summer. I drove to Nashville for a wedding, and on Sunday morning, I’m headed back to NY, tired, head hurting, and facing a 13 hour drive. So Barney Fife of the Tennessee State Police pulls me over going 82 in a 70 mph zone. Give me a break dude, it’s 12 over. Anyway, he gives me the ticket and tells me to call the number on the back of the ticket in 10 days to find out how much the fine is. What? Why is there not a simple system that tells you, 12 over = $100. Move on. No, out here, the hillbillies need to consult with their cousin/wife – the only one in the county with at least a 7th grade education – to figure out how much they can stick you with. So after ten days, I call. No response. I call 3 times that day and leave 3 messages within 5 days. On the advice of Hildo, I google the citation # and find the table of fines in Kingston, Tennessee. It starts at 15 over and $150. I didn’t even make the minimum threshold. So I send them a check for $100 with a note that I called 10 times, no one called me back and according to their website, I am now clear. A month later I get a letter from MaryJoeMarieBettySueBobbby Hicks, the city clerk, saying I still owe $100 because the fine was $200. Assclowns.

Anyway, that was a really long intro to prove that I don’t really like Tennessee. Yet I like Lane Kiffin less. Kiffin is the douchebag who obviously has the gift of persuasion and he definitely learned a thing or 10 about taking the money and running from his mentor, Pete Carroll. (side note: Pete – give up the “right situation” act about taking the Seahawks job. You and Mark McGwire really believe that everyone else is an idiot when the reality is you’re more transparent than Ashley Greene in a body paint bikini. Back to your regularly scheduled rant on Lane Kiffin.) Kiffin was the defensive coordinator under Carroll at USC and somehow parlayed that into a gig with the Raiders. That was the same Raiders job that Steve Sarkisian (the USC offensive coordinator) turned down before Kiffin took the payday despite never having been a head coach at any level. To absolutely no ones surprise, Kiffin rubbed his rich older players the wrong way and he couldn’t control them the same way he could control poor young guys at USC (at least they were poor until they became stars at USC and then were given houses for their family – Reggie Bush, or cars – Joe McNight). He butted heads with the owner and as crazy as Al Davis is, he’s the boss. If you want to keep your job, you can’t publicly call out the guy who signs the checks. So after one horrid year, he was canned and bashed in the most bizarre press conference I’ve ever seen by the Crypt Keeper, Al Davis.

He then somehow parlays that public failure into the head coaching job at Tennessee, one of the premiere fan bases in the SEC. He uses the Pete Carroll model of recruiting great athletes regardless of whether they have the academic capacity or maturity to handle college. He committed a minimum of 6 NCAA infractions during his one year, and also had to dismiss players from the team due to their off the field problems. On top of all that, he tried to tweak the tail of Urban Meyer’s recruiting practices at Florida. Lane, Urban wouldn’t even hire you to get him coffee. He has national championships and Heisman winners at Florida. You have never had success. Remember those great USC teams? Defense was their problem – not the offense with Matt Leinart, Reggie Bush, LenDale White, Steve Smith & Mike Williams. So while on the field the Volunteer team improved during his one year, his off the field issues make it a tumultous tenure at best.

Yet, there must be something that Lane Kiffin has in his ability to smile and say the right things to your face that these places keep hiring him and believe him. He obviously can recruit - look at the guy’s wife as a prime example of his ability to convince someone that has no business being with him to buy what he’s selling. He definitely outpunted his coverage there. He’s the epitome of what’s wrong with the college coaching carousel, and also the perfect picture of a snake oil salesmen. Beware USC – you have a guy who will get your fan base excited, but there are fires in the building, and Lane loves to jump at the next payday instead of ever facing the music.

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Tough break (literally) for the Wisconsin hoops team losing Jon Leuer to a broken arm. That will be a crushing blow to a team that needs his ability to score from the post and step out and knock down three’s. Without Leuer, the Badgers don’t have anyone capable of drawing attention in the post which opens up Bohannon, Taylor and Hughes from beyond the arc. While I like Keaton Nankovil’s hustle and rebounding ability, he will not command any attention from opposing defenses. The Badgers will struggle against very good defensive teams the next time through the league like Ohio State, Michigan State and Purdue.

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