With all of the media tripping over themselves to determine what each team’s recruiting strategy is for recruiting LeBron James, I think it’s pretty simple. And each team’s recruiting ploy can be described with a scene from Caddyshack.
Knicks – Ty Webb’s love song
The Knicks claim that LeBron is perfect for the big stage of New York – that he was born to love them. The Knicks were born to lick his face. They were born to rub each other…..you get the idea.
Bulls – Ty Webb Wisdom
The Bulls claim they provide James with the best opportunity to win now. Because much like a superstar without a ring is no superstar, a donut without a hole…is a danish.
Heat – We’re All Gonna Get Laid!
The Heat are trying to assemble 3/5 of the All-Star team in South Beach. And so the allure is the beach, the weather, and winning. Sounds like everybody is getting laid!
Nets – Play Through
The Nets are much like Carl Spackler – entertaining, definitely a loose cannon, and despite poor living conditions presently, the future looks bright. Once Spackler becomes head greenskeeper, he’ll move into a nicer place. But in the mean time, would you be surprised if the Russian owner provided James with something to smoke the bejezuz out of?
Clippers – Hey Smails – my dingy is bigger than your whole boat!
The Clippers, like Judge Smails boat, is very nice. They have some pieces in place to enjoy a nice sail together. Until Al Cervik’s yacht (aka the Lakers with Kobe at the controls) comes crashing in and reminding King James that their dingy is bigger than the King’s entire boat.