Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Manager Power in the 2009 Playoffs

While we all continue to not care about an average weapon on a great offense (Reggie Bush)getting back together with a great-looking girl that is only famous for having Bruce Jenner as a step-father (Kim Kardashian)...........

I intended to write this post about the MLB managers in the playoffs and how underappreciated Jim Leyland has been in his career. The guy has won in markets that have no business winning in baseball, having made the playoffs in Pittsburgh, won a World Series in Miami, and making a World Series appearance in Detroit. I was ready to talk about how he doesn’t get the accolades that Tony LaRussa and Joe Torre get because Torre managed in NY and LaRussa is a blow-hard SOB that loves the attention. Meanwhile, Leyland just sits back and smokes a dozen packs of cigs a day and wins games.

However, once I started looking at the numbers, I can’t really make the case. I know numbers aren’t the only way to measure a manager, but it is the most concrete way. So as I started to look at the numbers, I realized that this year’s playoffs will have a tremendous amount of managerial power. Excluding Joe Girardi because he only has 2 years of experience, the other 7 managers: Leyland, LaRussa, Torre, Scioscia, Manuel, Francona & Tracy have a combined 114 seasons, 49 playoff appearances, 10 World Series titles and 10 Manager of the Year awards. They have a .538 regular season winning percentage and a .563 post season winning percentage.

Between Leyland, LaRussa & Torre, we will be seeing 3 of the best managers of the 90’s – the only one missing is Bobby Cox with the Braves (who won’t be able to catch the Rockies for the wild card because the Brewers can’t play spoiler). And I guess it’s appropriate that the stars of the 90s are going to be big in the playoffs – considering television stars from the 90s are having a return to prominence this fall. Courtney Cox, Heather Locklear, Patricia Heaton, Kelsey Grammar and Ed O’Neil are all stars on new or returning to remade television shows. And Cox and Locklear are still bringing their A-game to the table.

While the exploits of Jim Leyland in multiple cities cannot be downplayed, he is the only manager of the 7 to have a winning percentage below .500 (at .496) in the regular season. Jim Tracy has the lowest post season winning percentage (.400), but he only has one appearance (before this season) with the Dodgers in 2004. The other disappointment in the post season has been Mike Scioscia, despite having a better regular season winning percentage than all of the managers except Joe Torre. Yet Scioscia is 16-20 in 5 post seasons, which is worse when you consider 11 of those 16 wins came during the World Series winning season in 2002. They have lost to the Sox 3 times in the first round, only winning one game – which is a bad omen for Angels fans as they open the playoffs with the Red Sox next week.

And it's worth mentioning that firepower is not just Joe Torre and all of his post season success. Along with LaRussa's 2 titles and 13 playoff appearances, in 10 seasons each, Francona & Scioscia each have 5 playoff appearances and 3 combined titles (2 for Tito & one for Scioscia).

What does this mean for this year’s playoffs? Obviously a manager alone will not be able to win the World Series. And Joe Girardi and his lack of playoff experience as a manager is leading the prohibitive favorite in the Yankees. However the experience and knowledge that these playoff tested managers bring to the table should mean that their decisions on pinch hitters, pitching changes and the daily line-up will lead to closer games and keep the less talented teams in each series and make for a good post season.

Leyland - 1/2 in World Series, 3-time MoY, 7 playoff appearances in 18 seasons

Torre - 3/6 in World Series, 2-time MoY, 15 playoff appearances in 28 seasons

LaRussa - 2/5 in World Series, 4-time MoY, 13 playoff appearances in 32 seasons

Francona - 2/2 in World Series, 5 playoff appearances in 10 seasons

Scioscia - 1/1 in World Series, 1-time MoY, 5 playoff appearances in 10 seasons

Manuel - 1/1 in World Series, 3 playoff appearances in 8 seasons

Tracy - 1 playoff appearance in 8 seasons

NFL Power Rankings - Post Week 3

A couple quick thoughts before getting to the rankings after 3 weeks of football……

First, how freaky was the weight lifting accident with USC RB Stephon Johnson? Yikes – I guess this supports Squirrel’s anti-exercise regime. Thankfully it appears he’s going to survive and they think he could eventually play again.

Second, while there is no doubt Ron Artest is legitimately crazy, he is entertaining. Especially when he asks the TMZ guy if he talks to God.

On to the rankings, where this week, I’ve grouped the teams into five categories based on actors/actresses.

Tier I: Matt Damon Category “How do you like them apples?”

The teams in this category are the class of the league, well-rounded and capable of success with their offense, defense and special teams – like Damon is successful in comedies (Ocean’s Eleven, Good Will Hunting), action (Bourne series) or drama (The Rainmaker)

1 – Giants (last week: 1) – Nothing changes after destroying a bad Tampa team without a whole bunch of defensive starters. While the Jets steal the headlines, Tom Coughlin’s boys just keep chugging along.

2 – Ravens (2) – Maybe the most well-rounded team in the league with a QB that looks like Bert from Bert & Ernie (credit to Mike Florio) really establishing himself as a weapon. The Good Will Hunting of the group – some good comedy, great story line, and an underdog story.

3 – Colts (4) – They almost make it look easy despite tough travel, losing WRs to injuries, etc. They’re like the movie Rounders – you can watch it over and over again, and you’re still impressed when Mikey busts KGB’s tell.

4 – Saints (3) – The Saints were The Departed last week – still dominant even though Brees allowed someone else (Pierre Thomas) to be the headliner. It will be a big test for the offense this week against the Jets.

5 – Vikings (6) – After the Favre miracle – the question was who gets the credit, Favre or Lewis? Who cares? It was an amazing play, and that old man can still make things happen…….sometimes good and sometimes bad.

6 – Jets (8) – They continue to make me look like an idiot with my preseason predictions for them, and Mark Sanchez isn’t a star-in-the-making, he’s already a star. Like The Rainmaker, underrated at the beginning of the year, and helped by a fat guy who talks as much as he eats – though Rex is double the height of Devito.

7 - Patriots (9) – They haven’t lost back-to-back games in 3 years – that’s an impressive streak. Flexed their running game muscles against the Falcons and now have another chance to make a statement against the Ravens.

8 – Chargers (10)The Legend of Bagger Vance team in San Diego. A little inconsistent, and I probably wouldn’t stop to watch it flipping channels on a Tuesday night, and yet it’s not a bad movie/team. They seem to be finding their way without LT or Jamal Williams.

Tier II: Vince Vaughn Category – “I don’t want you to be the guy in the PG-13 movie everyone’s *really* hoping makes it happen. I want you to be like the guy in the rated R movie, you know, the guy you’re not sure whether or not you like yet.”

These are teams capable of getting to the Super Bowl if they can solve a minor problem that might hold them back. Highly entertaining teams – like Vince Vaughn, but they have limitations. Vince is a comedy legend, but struggled in anything else (Psycho & Clay Pigeons). Thankfully Vince recognized he’s best when he can freelance, and I’m hoping that’s what he does in Couples Retreat.

9 – Falcons (5) – Like Swingers, the best of the group, despite the Falcons ugly blip last week against the Pats (like the scene where Mikey continues to leave messages on the girl’s answering machine).

10 – Packers (11) – Couldn’t tell much after beating the Rams, but it seemed the game stayed close for too long. Overall talent of Rodgers, Jennings, Grant and Driver was too much for the Rams. This week will tell plenty going into the Metrodome to take on the Viqueens.

11 – Eagles (16) – They’re like The Break-Up – not just because the fair-weather fans are ready to dump McNabb after Kolb beats up a pathetic Chiefs team – but because they’re utterly unwatchable after the first 15 minutes – they’ve blown out the Panthers and Chiefs and been blown out by the Saints.

12 – 49ers (12) – Much like Dodgeball, they’re an underdog story. They beat the Vikings, but made the mistake of getting too conservative at the end and it left too much time on the clock for Favre.

13 – Bengals (18) – Sure seems like they’re the real deal and are only a fluke play against Denver away from being 3-0. Like Anchorman, they seem to grow on you the more you watch them – the defense is solid and the offense can score.

14 – Bears (19) – Got a very good win at Seattle last week, and now have a sneaky tough game against the “streaking” Lions.

15 – Steelers (7) – You have to believe they’ll straighten it out because they have an Old School coach. However, the Steelers had a serious hangover after their last Super Bowl, going 8-8 and missing the playoffs. Now, finishing .500 isn’t as bad as waking up missing a tooth with Mike Tyson’s lion in your bathroom, but missing the playoffs after winning the championship is ugly.

Tier III: Tom Cruise Category – “That’s right! Ice…..man. I am dangerous.”

These teams have the ability to play with the top teams in the league, but much like Tom Cruise, while entertaining at times, if they have to stand up, they just won’t be on the same level. Yet they still have a chance to put out a Mission Impossible on random weeks.

16 – Cowboys (13) – Beating an inept Panthers team and potentially losing another RB if Felix Jones can’t go for a couple weeks could hurt the best running team in the league. Like Valkyre, there was a ton of hype surrounding it, but people aren’t buying it.

17 – Broncos (17) – Much like Jerry Maguire, I need the Broncos to “Show me the money!” I still just don’t believe this team is that good, even though they are 3-0. However their schedule gets a little rough in the next couple weeks (DAL, NE, SD, BAL, & PIT), and I would think they’ll be happy to be 4-4 after that stretch.

18 – Texans (14) – Crushed my Lock of the Week against the Jaguars, continuing their rollercoaster of winning when they shouldn’t and losing when they should.

19 – Cardinals (21) – Kind of like Eyes Wide Shut – it’s sad and disturbing to watch Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman (he’s like 3 feet shorter than her), and it’s sad and disturbing to watch Kurt Warner get really old right before our eyes.

20 – Seahawks (23) – From Days of Thunder, “Rubbing’s racing, Harry” – as the Seahawks are the walking wounded. I should drop them lower simply for those hideous lime green jerseys. What’s the deal with people in the Northwest (Oregon & Seattle) being okay with neon uniforms?

21 – Titans (15) – They want the truth, but can they handle the truth, which is they are 0-3, and it’s going to be a very uphill battle to make the playoffs. At what point do they have to consider playing Vince Young to see if he’s worth keeping for the future?

Tier IV: Megan Fox Category – I’m not even trying to put in a quote from her

She’s easy on the eyes until she opens her mouth. These teams are just generally disappointing and overhyped much like any movie Megan Fox is in. In case we forgot, we already have a crazy movie star with a great body and serious DSL’s – it is Angelina Jolie.

22 – Bills (19) – The inevitable TO meltdown is only a few more weeks away, though I applaud his efforts to not throw people under the bus anymore. Yet I still think the reason he’ll behave is that he’s on a one year contract and the only way to get paid next year is to be a good soldier this year.

23 – Jaguars (27) – MJD can carry them to a couple more wins, but this still isn’t a very good team.

24 – Dolphins (22) – I feel bad for Pennington after another season-ending injury, as he seems like a genuine hard-working guy. This is just not a very good team and without the surprise of the gimmick offense this year, the lack of talent is being exposed.

25 – Panthers (26) – The only Megan Fox movie I’ve heard of is Transformers, so guess it’s appropriate given Jake Delhomme has transformed from a reliable NFL starter to the butt of jokes. Blame the INTs against the Cowboys on whomever you want; it’s still 2 more INTs.

Tier V: Keanu Reeves Category – “I wish I could say something classy and inspirational, but that just wouldn’t be our style.”

Terrible. Nothing more needs to be said. The guy is a horrendous actor and these teams are an embarrassment.

26 – Lions (30) – Finally off the schnide, so I’m moving them to the top of the trash heap. Basically, they are the tallest midget of this group.

27 – Redskins (25) – They have a chance to drop even lower in the rankings after playing Tampa this weekend. It’s not a Keanu Reeves movie, but Dead Man Walking is the most appropriate since the odds of Jim Zorn making it past week 5 are almost non-existent.

28 – Raiders (24) – It’s like the Matrix in that everyone’s confused by what’s going on and yet, it’s someone entertaining in a pathetic way.

29 – Chiefs (28) – Todd Haley is as intense as Al Pacino in Devil’s Advocate, and it doesn’t appear to be driving his team to any success.
30 – Buccaneers (29) – After benching Fat Albert, maybe they should bring in Shane Falco, although Raheem Morris is no Gene Hackman.

31 – Rams (32) – They move up one spot by default to make room at the bottom for the most pathetic team in the league. The Rams still suck – pick any movie as a comparison – Sweet November, Feeling Minnesota, A Walk in the Clouds, etc – yeah, he’s made a lot of terrible movies.

32 – Browns (31) – Now the team has allegedly quit on Mangini, but why wouldn’t they? The Browns are like Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure – they haven’t been relevant since the late 80’s.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Barney Baseball

Baseball is in the final week of the regular season and I can’t remember a recent season with less drama in almost every race. The only exception is the AL Central where the Tigers and Twins are currently starting a 4 game series with the Twins trailing the Tigers by 2 games. Why does no one outside of Minnesota or Michigan care about who wins? Part of the problem is the media’s intense focus on only things involving the Yankees, Red Sox or Dodgers – the 3 biggest baseball markets. The other problem is that whoever wins the division is going to be first round fodder for those Yankees.

What’s better? To be the Twins where every year you might barely squeak into the playoffs and then get bounced in the first round, or to be the Marlins where they build up a team capable of winning (and they have won), then blow the whole thing up, are terrible for a couple years and then reload. I’m not sure, because I’d like to be in the playoffs every year, but do you become immune to the excitement if you just continually get bounced in the first round? Kind of like a girlfriend that has classic good looks but may not be a super model/singer vs. the girl with the boob job and botox that’s going to need to be “retuned” every few years. I think I’ll take the consistency year over year. Think Tony Romo trading in Jessica Simpson for Natalie Smith.

This season, there have barely been any changes in playoff teams since the end of June. As of June 30, the AL playoff teams would have been: Boston, NY, LA Angels, and Detroit. As of today, those are the exact same teams, the only difference is now the Yankees won the division and the Red Sox are the wildcard. In the NL, it took an extra 3 weeks, but as of July 20, the playoff teams would have been: Philly, St. Louis, Dodgers, and Colorado. As of today, those are the exact teams in the exact places.

The positive from the fact that the last 2+ months of the season have been meaningless, is that it confirms that the best teams will be active in the playoffs. These teams have proven over the course of the season that they have the best teams in their divisions and, in theory, the playoffs should be very competitive. I’ll put together a more in-depth preview once the regular season is complete, but for now I’ll just say that I think 1-2-3 starting pitchers and a couple guys who can mash are the keys to success in the playoffs.

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On a somewhat related, but different topic, I’m rooting really hard for the Rockies to fold in this past week and have the Braves or the Giants make the playoffs as the NL Wild Card. I’m not sure what I have against the Rockies – they swept the Phillies two years ago, which I thoroughly enjoyed – but I think it has something to do with the Purple Barney uniforms. Has a team wearing purple ever won a major championship?

NFL – Vikings -> Nope
NBA – Suns, Raptors (since dropped), Kings, Jazz, Bucks (since dropped) -> Nope
MLB – Rockies -> Nope
NHL – LA Kings -> Nope

The only real exception is the LA Lakers. Their purple and gold has won many championships, so maybe they break the rules about winning while looking like Barney.

I guess the only other exceptions I can think of are the Baltimore Ravens, but they are primarily black and white and use purple and gold as accent colors……maybe. And I guess you could make a case for the Arizona Diamondbacks, but since they’ve changed colors 3,217 times in the 11 years they’ve had a team, I’m not sure it counts.

So maybe that’s why I don’t want to see the Rockies in the playoffs. Either that or it’s the fact that games at Coors are never the classic pitching duels I like in the playoffs. Or I’d rather watch Lincecum or Tommy Hanson pitch than……….sorry, can’t think of a Rockies pitcher – Ubaldo Jimenez?

Monday, September 28, 2009

Monday's Love/Hate

So there are many places to get more detailed recaps of all the NFL games on Monday mornings, so I’m not going to try and compete with Peter King, Michael Silver or Don Banks. Those guys watch more film and can provide insight from talking to guys in or at any and all of the games. Whether I agree with them or think they have a ridiculous East Coast bias (hello, Mr. King), they do a nice job of summarizing everything that happened. Instead, I’m just going to give a quick list of things I took from the weekend…..very simple, either they’re a “Love” or a “Hate”.

LOVE

- Superman just took off his Tim Tebow underwear…..and replaced them with Mark Sanchez underwear.

- The NFC North has the best collection of QBs in the league – without question.

- I strongly dislike the person Favre, but the player Favre still has some magic and he has a knack for the dramatic. The Vikings don’t win a game like that with a QB named Sage or Tavaris. Next Monday’s game against the Packers should be extremely interesting.

- Ballsy call by Belichick going for 4th & 1 from their own 24 in the 2nd half. The type of call that you can make when you have the fistful of rings like he does.

- Another week, another bunch of top10 college teams go down. Is Boise State really going to make it to the BCS championship? It’s too early to worry about it, but they have a fairly easy road there, they’re already #5, and many of the teams in front of them play each other, so are bound to lose at least 1 game.

- Peyton Manning is cementing his place as one of the best QBs of all time. He already has the one super bowl (as many as Favre), and his mastery of changing plays, directing late drives, etc. all while the team rebuilds his receiving corps is impressive. Loses a hall of famer in Harrison, and his replacement in Gonzalez, and he just shifts over to Dallas Clark, and a young guy in Garcon and doesn’t miss a beat. Despite resembling Herman Munster, and being a commercial whore, the guy is an amazing talent.

- Finally getting the baseball regular season over with and geting geared up for playoff baseball. Hopefully the pitching comes through and we get some of those classic 3-2 or 2-1 playoff games - yeah, I'm old-school like that.

HATE

- Hated the media trying to bait TO into a meltdown – he answered their questions and obviously didn’t want to say anything more. As much of a jackass as he has been in the past – get off his back, he answered the question how he wanted to answer it.

- Jim Zorn, please call your local real estate agent. You should put your house on the market. And if you need a prospective buyer, I suggest you get in contact with Mike Shannahan. Seems like the right fit for a team that needs some creative offense and a big name to keep the owner happy.

- Listening to the radio broadcast of the Pats game driving through New England – the Pats may have the worst radio announcers I’ve ever heard. No life in their voices, and for pass plays, every call started with “Direct snap to Brady….” And running plays all were “….slams it in there…..(3 second delay) ….(then tells us it was a 6 yard gain).” It was dull and lacked any description more than what you could get on the internet gamecast play-by-play.

- Having to admit that as much as I dislike Cutler’s baby antics, the guy has the right moxy to win in the NFL if he can keep the team behind him.

- So I have some venom Eric Mangini because I think he micromanages and doesn’t treat his team like adults – and I think there is no worse way to work than to have an over-bearing, condescending manager. But my feelings pale in comparison to this article about him.

- CNBC’s heavy focus on politics and losing focus on the markets/stocks. I know they’re very closely related and given the amount of government intervention in many industries, it’s somewhat oriented, but there’s CSPAN for coverage of Congressional hearings and every speech from Obama to another group of union workers. Fox Business channel has an opening if they can hire some better on-air talent.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Degenerate Friday - Week 3

Last week I went 8-8 (and if you discount the homer pick of the Packers, it’s a winning record) and got the lock of the week correct. I’m going to see that as progress from week 1, and we’re rounding into midseason form………or something like that.

This week I decided to break the games into different categories based on the intrigue/quality of the game. I broke the games into 4 tiers and labeled them with the cars from the Mound Street Crew. For those of you that don’t know, that’s the house in Madison that I lived in during my senior year of college with 5 other guys (the crew also includes Hildo, because he was there more than he wasn’t). It was a treat of a house….with 6 bedrooms, only 5 of which received heat (sorry Archie), 2 of the rooms were connected by a thin door (Squirrel & Diggity basically spooned through the door all year), 1 was barely big enough for a bed (sorry Web), and one had a sink and a fire escape/balcony (my room). Oh and who could forget the Blair Witch in the basement with a 5-foot high ceiling?

QUICK UPDATE: This is why the Cubs suck, will always suck and why C.U.B.S means: Completely Useless By September - a slap knocks their "star" 1B out of the game. What a joke.

And one more quick aside before getting to the games……..reason #232 why I don’t do heroin/quaaludes/etc: Mackenzie Phillips.

Same disclaimers every week - see last week for the full explanation......recreational use only, etc.

TOP TIER: Hildo’s BMW
It was the first luxury car for the group, which makes sense considering Hildo was 23 years older than us and finishing grad school while we were finishing undergrad. It was a brand new 2003 3-series BMW and much like the games in this tier, we expected high performance with some star power. Let’s hope that the games produce more scoring than Hildo saw in the car.

Titans (+2.5) over JETS
Titans are desperate and desperate teams with a good coach, a strong running game and strong run defense are dangerous. The Titans have had trouble against the pass the first two weeks (See Santonio Holmes & Andre Johnson), but that shouldn’t matter against Mark Sanchez and the Jets basic passing game. Jets run defense has been stout, and Darrelle Revis has looked like one of the best corners in the league, but I think the Titans can put up enough points to pull out a tough road victory.

PATRIOTS (-4) over Falcons
Tall order for Matty Ryan’s return to Boston – beat a ticked off Patriots team. Maybe Tom Brady should hire his security guards to play offensive line for New England, as they (allegedly) protected Mr. & Mrs. Giselle better than Logan Mankins and company have protected Brady in the first two weeks. Pats need this game more than the Falcons, and home field makes the difference.

Saints (-6) over BILLS
Buffalo has looked impressive in splitting their first two games, but I just don’t see them being able to keep up with the juggernaut Saints offense. Saints benefit from playing in upstate NY before the weather has a chance to be a factor. I think Trent Edwards is getting more comfortable with the offense and the inevitable TO dropped passes and they will be a factor all season long.

Cardinals (-2.5) over Colts
Much like a Thursday night at Brothers with $1 swampwaters, there should be a lot of action in this one, and it shouldn’t take “Living on a Prayer” on the juke box to get it started. It’s a difficult task for the short-handed Colts to win on Monday night on the road in Miami, then travel cross country on a short week and face a talented Cards offense. Strangely, the Cards running game should be the difference in this one, as the Cards get a big win.

TIER 2: Diggity’s Saab
The Saab was a very nice car in very good condition with a strong record of performance. The car had the ability to turn it up a notch with the turbo engine. These games should be entertaining and have intriguing players or story lines, with the ability to turn into the best games of the week. Also, the trunk was exceptionally spacious and relatively comfortable to ride in on the way home from the bar as long as TerBear (our underappreciated DD) was gentle on the brakes…………errrr, not that I would know.

Chiefs (+9.5) over EAGLES
This shouldn’t be a DOG of a game…….I like the underDOG in this game…….It could be a RUFF day for the Eagles……..okay, those are all the dog lines I could come up with for the return of Michael Vick. No one knows how much Vick is going to play or what his role is going to be. Kevin Kolb had enough trouble not turning the ball over without the distraction of Vick coming in and out of the game. I can hear you Philly idiots whining already: “but he threw for 390 yards!!” – that’s because Andy Reid is fundamentally opposed to running the ball and not having seconds at the dinner table. Chiefs keep it close enough to get the cover.

49ers (+7) over VIKINGS
I guess I’m late to the party on the Niners, but they appear to be the real deal and this is the week to prove it in the only matchup of 2-0 teams this week. Their defense can present problems for ODF and potentially slow Peterson (you know, only 100 yards and ONLY 1 TD) - though he's slightly banged up and was a limited participant in practice late in the week. The question is whether their offense can generate enough points against the tough Vikings defense. Hopefully the Frank Gore that gashed the Seahawks last week shows up, and is ready to carry the load again.

Bears (-2) over SEAHAWKS
Time for the bad Cutler to make another appearance. The mobile Seneca Wallace gives the ‘Hawks a better chance behind the banged up o-line, but there’s a reason he’s 5-7 as a starter: he’s not very good. Bad Cutler adds a couple more INTs to his total, and after the game Lovie Smith repeats a familiar phrase: “Rex Cutler is our quarterback.” Gore destroyed the Seahawks last week, so if Forte is going to get going, this is a good week for it to start.

Steelers (-4) over BENGALS
Classic game to not overreact too much to last week’s results. The Steelers coughed one up when the lonesome kicker Jeff Reed missed 2 FGs in the fourth quarter, and the Bengals ran over the Packers in Lambeau. Something tells me the Cedric Benson revival will take a week off – and that something is the Steelers defense. Antwan Odom has to be licking his chops getting ready to go against the weak Steelers o-line, but the Pittsburgh passing game will put up enough points to get the win.

COWBOYS (-9) over PANTHERS
In a battle of who can turn the ball over less, the ‘Boys get their first win in Jerry’s playhouse. Romo is an average QB in the NFL, not a superstar. But that’s multiple levels above where Jake Delhomme is.

TIER 3: The Smurf or The Turd
The Smurf was my 1994 Mercury Topaz (named after the color) and the Turd was Squirrel’s Ford Tempo – the 4DR twin to the Topaz (also named for its color). Reliable, not fancy, but got the job done. These are not the prettiest games on the docket this week, and you don’t want to brag to your friends about watching them, but you need something more than a bike to get to the movies and Indian casinos. (Not the actual Smurf in the picture, but that's basically it)

GIANTS (-6.5) over Buccaneers
Losing Kenny Phillips for the year hurts the Giants secondary, and Justin Tuck is unlikely to play this week after a dirty trip by Flozell Adams last week. Yet, the Bucs don’t have the ability to slow the Giants running game, and the passing game continues to evolve into a multi-pronged weapon. Was Eli calm and collected before the game-winning drive last week or is he too dumb to know it was a big moment? Either way, it seems to work for him.

CHARGERS (-6) over Dolphins
Norv Turner has consistently done less with more than any coach in NFL history. But the Dolphins don’t have the playmakers to keep up after the cross-country travel.

RAIDERS (+1.5) over Broncos
I’m going to go against the Broncos until I’m finally right. They beat the Bengals on a fluke and beat a terrible Browns team. Raiders are actually better than anyone thought and are winning/remaining competitive in spite of JaMarcus Russell. They can run on the Broncos and their defense will cause problems for Denver.

TIER 4: Archie’s 1987 Audi 5000
Just a few of the unique characteristics of the Audi: the speedometer didn’t work, the odometer stopped after about 150,000 miles, the trunk latch was broke, but the trunk was heavy enough to stay closed unless going over a big bump, and the car would randomly slide out of gear on occasion both while driving or idling – and it was an automatic transmission!! Watching these games, like driving in the Audi, may not be the best thing for your health, but it’s still a car/football game, and better than the alternative of watching “Police Women of Broward County” on TLC. (the picture isn't actually Archie's Audi, but it looked pretty close)

Redskins (-6.5) over LIONS
The media is all over this being the week that the Lions break the 19 game losing streak because the Redskins got booed off their home field after winning last week. I’m a firm believer that when all the “experts” are so sure of an upset, go the other way. It’s going to be ugly, but I think the Skins pull it off.

Packers (-6.5) over RAMS
Spagnuolo’s defense poses another threat to Aaron Rodger’s health. And if Cedric Benson tore through the Packer defense, what can Steven Jackson do? Rams offense combined with Packers attacking defense should produce enough turnovers to give Aaron Rodgers some short fields to put points on the board.

TEXANS (-4) over Jaguars (LOCK OF THE WEEK)
In a game that should not be entertaining, the Jags allowed the Cards to light them up last week. Expect another big game from Schaub, Andre Johnson, and maybe the return of Steve Slaton? Jaguars are a mess, son unless the Texans act like the Audi and slip out of gear, they should run away with this game.

RAVENS (-13.5) over Browns
This is a lot of points this early in the season to lay on a divisional game, but then again, it’s the Browns. I think they’re among the worst teams in the league and it’s just a matter of time until the team completely gives up on that idiot Mangini. Flacco continues to put up impressive passing numbers and the Ravens defense eats Brady Quinn’s lunch.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Week 2 NFL Power Rankings

Before getting to this week's power rankings - a quick link to an article on SI.com about the disappointing Brewers season and thoughts on what they might do for next year.


Well 5 of my top 7 from last week lost on Sunday, so there’s some significant shake-up in this week’s rankings - which shouldn’t be as surprising as Lamar Odom marrying the ugly Kardashian sister. The Jets continue to make me look foolish, and the hype machine is in high gear to anoint Sanchez the King of the Island (of Jersey?), however, they face a desperate Titans team this week, so it should be very interesting. Without further ado, here are my rankings for mocking and ridicule…….

1 – Giants (last week: 2) – Impressive win at Dallas despite a lack of success in the red zone. Taking advantage of other teams’ mistakes has been critical and they face a fairly soft schedule the next 3 weeks, which could provide them a nice cushion in the division if McNabb continues to miss time.

2 - Ravens (8) – The play by Ray Lewis to blow up Sproles in the backfield on the deciding 4th down of the game should be played on repeat at his enshrinement ceremony. Actually, it would be best if Ray just led a call and response like he does at the start of every game “Are my dogs in the house?!” and they play that clip. Then he could apologize for stabbing that guy at the super bowl…..wait, sorry, he was acquitted, so he’s innocent….and then return to his seat.

3 – Saints (9) – Impressive offensive output against a supposed tough defense in Philly (no QB shouldn’t have affected their ability to slow down Brees). Will they ride near the top of the rankings until they have to play in inclement weather?

4 – Colts (4) – Remain in the same spot this week after strange win against the ‘Phins. Having the ball less than 15 minutes and still putting up 27 points on the road? Impressive, but disappointing the “celebrities” there for the Dolphins – Williams sisters, JLo, Marc Antony, etc – was even better.

5 – Falcons (13) – Jump to the elite of the league this week, as Matt Ryan appears to be on the verge of making the leap. Huge test this week at New England, which will tell us if the Falcons are for real and if the Patriots are in as much trouble as the media fears.

6 – Vikings (10) – Beating terrible teams like the Lions and Browns while trailing both at halftime is far from impressive. But it is 2 wins, and if ODF can continue to not make turnovers and play smart, they have the talent. Favre is 30th (of 32) QBs in yardage, but 2nd in QB Rating……..has he finally learned or is this just a mirage?

7 – Steelers (1) – Tough loss in Chicago, and Jeff Reed probably should call a real estate agent …….just in case.

8 – Jets (15) – Impressive win for Rex’s boys. Remember last year when they Jets were 8-3 and collapsed to 9-7? It shouldn’t happen this year, but just another reason to wait to hand Sanchez the keys to NY/NJ.

9 – Patriots (3) – Much like the Black Knight in Monty Pytho, it's merely a flesh wound and I think they're still kicking.

10 – Chargers (12) – Probably shouldn’t be moving up after losing to the Ravens, but Joe Buck should probably keep his enormous ego in the announcing booth and continue to ride his father’s coattails than have his own talk show.

11 – Packers (5) – Offensive line is a serious concern because Rodgers will not stay healthy if he continues to get the David Carr treatment. Disturbing stat of the week: Excluding games against Detroit, Rodgers has only won 5 of the 16 games he has started. Ouch.

12 – 49ers (17) – Their defense appears to be legit, and winning two divisional games gets them off to a nice start. But their division is horrid, and the Seahawks are not the same without Matt Hasselbeck (who left with a cracked rib).

13 – Cowboys (11) – So maybe that hex Jessica Simpson put on Romo had an effect on Sunday night? Credit Collin Cowherd with the concept, but maybe Romo just isn’t that good? If no top college offered him a scholarship and no NFL GM drafted him, were they all wrong or did they see that maybe he doesn’t have that extra gear/level and he’s already playing as well as he ever will.

14 – Texans (16) – I didn’t believe they were as bad as their opening week performance, and bouncing back against the Titans was huge (as predicted right here). Still missing any contribution from Steve Slaton and Kubiak seemed concerned that he may not be the answer.

15 – Titans (7) – They are the best 0-2 team in the league by far, losing by a combined 6 points. Desperate for a win more than the Great Hildo is for his monthly Playboy magazine, this week they’re up against the league darling Jets, and you have to believe Jeff Fisher will have them ready.

16 – Eagles (6) – The defense was shredded last week, which is a problem. And the team has to be uncomfortable with Kolb turning the ball over fast and furious, Garcia on the sidelines, and the uncertainty of what Vick’s going to do. Oh, and you know McNabb’s fragile ego is not happy with any of the attention all the other QBs are getting.

17 – Broncos (25) – I suppose I should rank them higher, as they are 2-0, but I just can’t justify rewarding a fluke play against the Bengals and beating the Browns.

18 – Bengals (23) – Big win on the road in GB, and do we really believe that Cedric Benson is for real? Let me get this straight – GB defense can shut down Matt Forte but can’t slow Benson. That’s why this league doesn’t make any sense and gamblers don’t stand a chance.

19 – Buffalo (19) – Very close to being 2-0, and they have an interesting matchup with the Saints this week. In week 1, vandals painted a player’s lawn, and last week they broke into another player’s house and robbed his jewelry. And none of those events involved TO? I hope he doesn’t assault himself to get the spotlight back.

20 – Bears (22) – Big win at home over the Steelers to save a death spiral. Still not sold on Cutler – is he really more consistent than that guy they got rid of……..Rex Grossman?

21 – Cardinals (18) – They fell in the rankings after traveling out east and beating the Jags in an early game? “That’s somethin’ ain’t it? She falls in a well, eyes go crossed. She gets kicked by a mule and they go back to normal…..I don’t know.”

22 – Dolphins (24) – Almost feel bad for them after Monday night, but the good teams find ways to win. The Dolphins are not one of those teams.

23 – Seahawks (14) – Losing Hasselbeck could be a huge disaster for a team that was on the edge of winning their division or repeating their 4 wins from last year.

24 – Raiders (27) – Would any other franchise continue to stick behind JaMarcus Russell? The guy has a completion percentage of 35% after 2 games. That’s not a typo – 35%. Where would this qualify on the “trying to hang on too long” scale? Would this qualify as Vanilla Ice trying to come out with a second album or is it more like Blake Lively trying to convince us these are real? Note: I don’t care if they are real or not, I just needed an excuse to post that picture.

25 – Redskins (20) – What a pathetic offensive showing against the Rams….but at least it’s a win.

26 – Panthers (26) – Well at least Delhomme didn’t self destruct again, but the team is not very good. Not sure if Web still has those season tickets, but you might want to start selling late season tickets now before it’s too late.

27 – Jaguars (21) – If a team loses and there is no one there to see it, does it really count? Yes, Jaguars, you’re 0-2.

28 – Chiefs (29) – I don’t know what to think of this team, and I don’t really care. No fantasy players worth note, and no chance at the playoffs, so not much to pay attention to.

29 – Buccaneers (30) – Leftwich has thrown for a pretty hefty chunk of yardage in the first two games, but that’s a problem in itself. The state of Florida has 3 teams with a combined record of 0-6. At least it appears the “U” is back…….but is it as fun as when they were a bunch of convicts?

30 – Lions (31) – Is this the week they have a chance against the Redskins? The picks will come out tomorrow, so that’s my tease for Degenerate Friday. Kind of like the Lions have teased that they might keep it close in the first two games.

31 – Browns (28) – Mangini is treating his team like a bunch of toddlers with his meddling and stupid rules. Grown-ups don't like to be treated like little kids whether you work in football or finance and at some point, it's going to break. It's already not pretty, and I fear it's going to get worse.

32 – Rams (32) – “They’re still s#itty.”

Striking Out with Baseball Stats

Time to go stat-geek for a post on baseball. So last night Mark Reynolds of the Arizona Diamondbacks struck out 3 times to break his own single season record with 206 on the year (with a few games remaining). He had previously set the record last year with 204 Ks. When asked about his back-to-back toilet bowl records, he responded “So what?” He also hit his 43rd HR last night, so he hits a HR for every 5 Ks.

Does it matter? Ryan Howard struck out 199 times in both 2007 & 2008 and finished in the top 5 for MVP both years. Reggie Jackson struck out more than any player in history and maintains the nickname of Mr. October. On the other hand, Tony Gwynn struck out only 434 times in his entire 20 year career, barely more than Mark Reynolds the past two years. Manny Ramirez has never struck out more than 131 times in a season and Babe Ruth never struck out more than 100 times in a season.

While a strike out is the worst and least productive at-bat you can possibly have (a ground out could advance a runner, potential sac fly, etc), it may come down to the slugging percentage (SLG) and on base percentage (OBP) to determine whether it’s acceptable to have a high number of K’s. Taking a random sampling of the following players: Mark Reynolds, Tony Gwynn, Reggie Jackson (all-time leader in K’s), Ryan Howard, Jose Hernandez, Manny Ramirez, Babe Ruth, Sammy Sosa, Barry Bonds, Mark McGwire, Mike Cameron, Adam Dunn and Pete Incaviglia, and looking at their K’s, SLG% and OBP, there appears to be a key number.

Good hitters that happen to strike out the most, tend to have an OBP greater than .350 and a SLG% greater than .500. Set aside the entire cheating with steroids thing for the sake of this argument (heck, half these guys either were busted or should have been), and just focus on the stats. A guy like Ryan Howard strikes out a ton, yet still posts an OBP of .374 with a SLG% of .583. Mike Cameron and Pete Incaviglia are on the other end of the spectrum, with OBP of .340 & .310, respectively and SLG% of .448 each. Significant differences, to show that you can make up for strike outs with walks and significant power.

Another example was Jose Hernandez, during 2001 and 2002 playing SS for the Brewers. For his 15 year career, Hernandez posted an OBP of .312 and SLG% of .418. However, during his one all-star season, in addition to setting the then-NL-record of 185 strike outs in a season, he had an OBP of .356 & SLG% of .478. So he broke one of the barriers and combined with his 24 HR, it was enough to get him an all-star berth.
Of the players I looked at, the one that surprised me by making the cut was Adam Dunn – with career OBP of .384 and SLG% of .523. The player that split the cut was Reggie Jackson, with OBP of .356 and SLG% of .490. However, I guess that makes sense since Reggie’s career average was only .260, and he led the league in strikeouts 6 times in 15 seasons. His career also declined considerably during his time with the Angels (excluding his first season there in ’82), never hitting over .252 or having a SLG% greater than .487. And the homer in me checked both Prince Fielder & Ryan Braun, who both easily cleared the hurdles during their brief careers.

So back to Mark Reynolds. Last season, he was below the marks, posting an OBP of .320, SLG% of .458, with a BA of .239, yet 28 HRs. This season, he tops the marks, with an OBP of .357 and SLG% of .506. So what? So nothing, Mark. Continue to hack away as long as you keep that OBP above .350 and SLG% above .500.

(Trying to figure out how to post the table I made with all the stats for the guys mentioned above)

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Railing on the Worldwide Leader

Okay, before I get to the meat – a quick link to an interesting article from the NY Times comparing political talk show hosts to rappers. I mean, who wouldn’t instantly compare Rush Limbaugh and Ludacris……….. Though the guy makes good points, so maybe they’re more alike than we ever realized.

So I probably should tip-toe around this topic since everyone knows my dream job would be to work in sports, and a certain company in Bristol, CT controls 90% of the world of sports. But there are a couple issues that I just don’t understand about the company. There are many, many things I do like – I religiously listen to Mike & Mike in the Morning, Colin Cowherd, and Scott Van Pelt. They have tremendous play-by-play guys for baseball and basketball like Mike Patrick, Mike Tirico, etc. But there are three major things I have to take them to task on: lack of objectivity with the news, coverage that only promotes themselves and the ex-athletes/coaches they throw on the air without any training or ability to actually sound semi-intelligent.

(1) Lack of Objectivity
There are numerous examples of times when the company twists the story or refuses to report a story because it is about an athlete that is one of their bell-cows for information and makes headlines for them. The most recent one was the story about the civil lawsuit against Ben Roethlisberger. The worldwide leader refused to report the story for the first 3-4 days while other outlets were all over it, claiming that they didn’t think it was a legit story to report. Yet, when Marvin Harrison was facing a civil lawsuit after a gun incident that took place outside his carwash, it was all over the shows on television and the radio. The difference? Ben is a superstar that provides his time and interviews to the myriad of shows and reporters the company puts on the Steelers and Harrison has always been a quiet, private and inaccessible athlete. So it benefits the company to not tick off a source of info, but it is okay to hang out Harrison since he doesn’t give them good quotes.

And the most glaring example? ODF – Old Diva Favre. Chris Mortensen should actually include “Brett Favre’s PR person” in his bio because the reporting he has done the past two years during Brett’s flip-flopping has not been reporting as much as it has been “spinning.” Even after Jay Glazer broke the story that Favre was going to return and that the Vikings players all knew he was going to join the team after mini camp, Mort kept insisting that he believed Favre and pimping how he talked to Favre. And the last thing Mort would want to do would be to bite the hand of Favre that feeds him good quotes and stories which can lead Sportscenter. So he kept up the charade and said whatever Favre wanted him to say.

(2) Self-Promotion Coverage
The examples here are pretty simple. As soon as the worldwide leader signs a contract to cover a sport (or a non-sport waste of television time like the World Series of Poker – which jumped the shark 3 years ago), it immediately becomes a major part of their highlight shows. When the NHL was on the worldwide leader, hockey highlights were a core portion of the show. Since hockey moved to Versus, you’re lucky to catch 3 hockey highlights at the tail end of Sportscenter, and a brief cameo by Barry Melrose’s mullet for laughs more than insight. NASCAR racing – before they signed on to broadcast races, there were NEVER racing highlights on Sportscenter other than the Daytona 500 and the Indy 500. Now there are full shows dedicated to the coverage. And most recently with soccer – once they signed the English Premier League for Saturday mornings (and I believe they have the world cup – if not them, then their sister station ABC). Now we get regular coverage and they hired a bunch of former players, Alexi Lalas, John Harkes, etc. to provide insight and promote their own coverage.

(3) Unprepared/Overload of Ex-Athletes/Coaches
So is there an athlete in the NFL specifically who won’t go work for the worldwide leader as soon as they’re done playing? At what point is it oversaturation and lack of value added? Once you already have a half-dozen former players and coaches giving their opinions, what does adding another half dozen, screaming tools add to the shows? While there are some guys that are very good and have loads of knowledge bombs to drop, many have recently been dumped on the air without any training that are nowhere near ready. The obvious example is Emmitt Smith. He was horrendous in both his lack of knowledge of the English language, and his insights on football. Great football players do not instantly equal good on-air talent. This summarizes Emmitt better than I ever could from Awful Announcing.

And I could go on and on with guys that don’t really bring any knowledge or talent – Marcellus Wiley brings sweet fancy suits to the television, but won’t ever be critical of any of his buddies or his former teams. Darren Woodson is useless and Tim Hasselbeck is less prepared for television than his wife was after being on survivor. Trent Dilfer could eventually be very good – he seems intelligent, but he recently put together an article on QBs assessing them basically on whether or not they won a super bowl. Trent – we get it, you have a super bowl ring – but it was not because of what you did, it was because of what you didn’t do (turn the ball over at all) while Ray Lewis knifed his way to the championship. But I’m willing to give him a pass because he didn’t immediately show up on television unable to speak or communicate an opinion. Or Herm Edwards, who would be more valuable if he just popped up every once in a while to say “You play to win the game.” And Tedy Bruschi, who barely finished his shower after retiring before he appeared on air, is not ready for prime time. Again, seems like an intelligent guy, but his homer-ism for the Patriots and inability to offer constructive criticism of his former team or any players will be a downfall.

Again, the vast majority of the things with the worldwide leader are good, and they are the worldwide leader for a reason. But those are just a few of the things that drive me crazy in their coverage of my favorite past time of sports. And they are continuing on their world domination by starting to take over the local markets – see their addition of espnchicago.com and espnboston.com. Their goal is the complete and total domination of all the sports world and I hope they don’t get it. The local papers, blogs, and a lot of the insiders provide the real stories and the real scoops on many of the stories that the worldwide leader doesn’t want to or won’t tell.

Friday, September 18, 2009

Degenerate Friday!!!

So after Week 1 treated me like a baby treats a diaper, week 2 is usually a good week to make up some ground because people overreact to one week and the lines are artificially inflated. There are a ton of home favorites this week, so it might not be a great week to load up on underdogs on the road. With respect to Bill Simmons, in general I don’t take an underdog on the road unless you believe they can win the game outright, but it’s always more interesting when the home team is catching double-digit points – which happens twice this week.

Let’s get right to the picks……and I’m sure I should probably put some disclaimer on here that these picks should only be for recreational purposes (unless you’re in Vegas). Lines and ATS courtesy of my guilty pleasure reading the Post……..home team in caps – and honestly, if you don’t know that by now, you’re not a friend of mine and I hope you enjoy watching your Lifetime movies this weekend.

Giants (+3) over COWBOYS
Giants have the defense to slow down and pressure Romo into trouble. I think the emotion of the new stadium wears off after the first quarter and the Giants are more talented on the lines, which wins the game. Cowboys open the new stadium the same way they left the old one, with a loss.

Patriots (-3.5) over JETS
The Rex Ryan defense is good and going to pressure Brady, and as good as the Patriots have been overall, their record against the spread isn’t that impressive (9-7 last year, & 10-6 against the spread in 2007 when they went 16-0). So all the emotion and sentiment is that the Patriots struggled and the Jets were good, so the Jets are the pick…….NO. A rookie QB against Belichick will not go well. I think the Jets defense will keep it close, but I’ll take Brady & Belichick over a rookie QB.

Raiders (+3) over CHIEFS
Oakland’s defense was better than expected and the addition of Seymour is a large part of that. Chiefs offense was worse than the numbers showed (2 special teams/defensive TDs) against Baltimore, so people are forgetting the fact that Brodie Croyle is likely going to start at QB. Expect a big day from McFadden and in the worst game of the week, the Raiders prevail.

Texans (+6.5) over TITANS
This was a tough pick as the Titans held their own in Pittsburgh, and the Texans threw up on themselves at home against the Jets. So here’s where I’m hoping my “don’t overreact to one week” theory comes into play. The Texans have solid passing weapons, which is what Pittsburgh used to beat the Titans. Though I’m nervous due to a great quote from my friend Dirty Johnny: “You can paint a turd gold, but it’s still a turd.” I’m riding the with the Texans.

PACKERS (-9) over Bengals
That’s too many points to give for a team with serious struggles on the offensive line – Alan Barbre might need to wear a neck brace to protect against whiplash from watching DEs fly past him – but I’m a homer and think that Rodgers will be more accurate in week 2. He had wide open deep opportunities in week 1 and missed them. The Bengals should have beaten the Broncos last week except for the craziest play I’ve ever seen, but they’re the Bengals. And I have to admit, I genuinely like Ochocinco and think he’s going to have a good year. As much of a clown as he is, I think he puts forth full effort on the field and is just crazy, not as detrimental to the team as TO or the other divas.

Vikings (-10) over LIONS
10 is a lot of points to give on the road, but do I think the Lions can win it? If Stafford can be even slightly better than last week, and the Lions can pressure ODF (Old Diva Favre) into some mistakes, they can stay within striking distance…….ahhh, who am I kidding? No they can’t. Vikings are the pick and AD may put up a deuce in TDs and hundreds of yards, making Jim Schwartz deuce in his pants in his home opener.


Saints (pk) over EAGLES
I still believe the Iggles are overrated despite their smackdown of the hapless Panthers. The Saints offense is like Jeter, John Mayer, or Justin Timberlake – scoring at will on anyone at any time. Granted, you can’t take much from the Lions game, but they have weapons and without McNabb, the Eagles will not be able to score enough. Kevin Kolb? Ouch. Garcia? Not enough.

FALCONS (-6.5) over Panthers (LOCK OF THE WEEK)
Probably the easiest game of the week to pick. Atlanta forced Miami to turn the ball over and now Delhomme comes to town. Well, just watch the great clip of Steve Smith talking to him last week. If I can figure out how to post a video, I’ll put it here – looks like it was removed from YouTube. He says basically what everyone is thinking, while on the sidelines during the game last week – to paraphrase “As a QB, I don’t like you, but as a person, I love you.” That’s awesome.

REDSKINS (-10) over Rams
Who cares? This game stinks, much like the Rams. They may not score again this week – sorry Steven Jackson owners.

JAGUARS (-3) over Cardinals
This game has the potential to be a “don’t overreact” game based on last week. The Jags hung tough against the Colts and the Cards stunk at home. But the Cards have to go across the country, and they stink when they’ve done that in the past. It scares me that the Jags were 4-12 ATS last year, and I don’t think they’re very good, but in front of both Jags fans, I’ll take the home team.

Seahawks (+1.5) over 49ers
I think the Hawks are going to be pretty good this year, and the 49ers are likely riding high after last week’s impressive win. Not a lot of logic here, just a hunch that the Niners lose a close one.

BILLS (-5) over Buccaneers
Bills offense showed they can score points last week without TO. I expect him to get to the house twice this week (Buccs gave up a billion long TDs last week to the Cowboys). Everyone loves the Cadillac comeback story, but they don’t have enough to win on the road.

Browns (+3) over BRONCOS
I really dislike Mangini, but the Broncos had no business winning last week. The Browns at least put some points up against Minnesota (granted it included a special teams TD). So maybe the ghost of Braylen Edwards will finally show up. Broncos among the worst in the league at 5-10-1 ATS last year and 5-11 the year before.

CHARGERS (-3.5) over Ravens
Toughest pick of the week. Ravens defense is good, but Chargers realize that LT isn’t the most important offensive weapon. Sproles & Gates are the key and should be enough. Chargers defense is light years ahead of the Chiefs defense, so if the Ravens pass as much as they did last week, they’re going to find a different result.

Steelers (-3) over BEARS
It’s easy to say that Cutler will realize that his team colors are Blue & Orange this week, and they’ll rebound against a defense without the Tazmanian Devil. But Dennis Green could say it best “he is who we thought he was” – he’s a .500 QB (17-20 career), with a big arm, no conscious, a lack of maturity, boatloads of swagger, and never posted a QB rating over 88.5 (in his rookie year and it’s declined ever since). So are we really surprised that when paired with no WRs that he’s struggling? Tack on another 2 picks this week.

Colts (-3) over DOLPHINS
Dolphins continue to prove that last year was a fluke. Manning will simply shift his attention to the young receivers, Dallas Clark and Addai out of the backfield (let’s hope for the sake of my fantasy team). Dolphins are much like the Great Hildo – no matter how many tricks they pull, they aren’t going to score. Maybe they should pay for a free agent?

Couple quick hits before the weekend:
- It’s deceptively cool in the city today
- I love the Scott Van Pelt commercial where he wants to wear a snuggie on the air
- Jorge Posada is a chump
- The Red Sox stole that game Wednesday night - twice
- Where the heck did summer go?

The smell of the hotdog street vendor is wafting into the apartment, so it must be time for lunch. Have a good one, tools. And go Bucky – if they don’t beat a school named after the sounds a dog makes (Wofford) by at least 30………..

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Brewers Date of Death Declared

Time of Death: Midnight EST, July 31, 2009

Date of Birth: April 7, 2009

Name: Milwaukee Brewers 2009 Season

Cause of Death: Pitching – or lack thereof

The body of the Milwaukee Brewers season was declared dead at the end of the night on July 31, 2009. The body appears to have continued to struggle along as a vegetable on a ventilator since then, and the plug will finally be pulled in St. Louis on October 4. Coroners are reporting the cause of death was pitching, and it appears it was starting pitching combining with relief pitching to provide the death blow.

The team’s chances went down the drain when they couldn’t land some pitching at the trading deadline. I’m not blaming GM Doug Melvin for not making a deal or for not overpaying – he didn’t have the chips to get anything done. With absolutely no pitching talent in the minor leagues (Mike Burns is excited to get back to his softball team soon….), teams were going to ask for their top prospects – Gamel & Escobar – to rent a pitcher. I think Melvin realized that even if they landed Cliff Lee or Roy Halladay, they weren’t going to compete this year.

The question is – why were they willing to go into this season with such a poor rotation? Did we really expect more from a rotation of Gallardo (coming off season long injury, and too young), Parra (about as mentally stable as Mike Tyson, but not as dangerous and doesn’t own a tiger), Suppan (best batting practice pitcher in the league), Looper (can a guy be an “innings eater” if he only ever goes 6 innings?!?!?), and Bush (Forrest Gump…..like a box of chocolates……..). Losing Sabathia and Sheets and replacing them with nothing was bound to come back and haunt them, especially since they barely squeaked into the playoffs last year.

So are we supposed to believe that the loss to injury of Suppan and Bush would have made a difference!?!! I’ve coined the term pitching “Supp-Style” after watching him pitch this year. It means trying to “out-slow” the other team with an 85 mph fastball and an 81 mph change-up. You’re guaranteed to give up a couple hits and walks in every inning, yet somehow you get a couple double plays and pop ups and get through the first 4-5 innings only giving up 1-2 runs. Pitching Supp-Style lulls the manager into sending the pitcher out there for one too many innings (“well, he’s only given up 1 or 2 runs, maybe I can sneak another inning out of him.”) when the dam finally breaks and suddenly Supp can’t get anyone out, and he gives up 4-5 runs in a hurry. And Dave Bush………..when he’s on, he’s very capable. When he’s off, he’s awful. And there is no way to know which Bush is going to be on the mound each time in the rotation.
It’s a shame because the offense was good enough, with very good years from Prince and Braun, to compete. And the addition of Felipe Lopez was a great move to make up for the Weeks injury (I can’t believe I actually think his injury hurt the team after how much I loathed that guy since he got to the majors).

So for next year? Find some pitching. Stop the idiocy mentioning a trade of Prince. Why would you do that? Prince can make a case that he’s in the top 4-5 1B in the entire league, and you’re not going to get one of the top 4-5 pitchers in the league in return for him. So you’d be losing value. Instead, guys like Hardy and Hart have to be used as bait to try and get some arms. For some reason, they still seem to have value even though they’ve been below average at their positions. I’ve heard that the Red Sox like Hardy enough to put him in a package for Clay Bucholz. I think that’s a great deal for the Brewers but find it hard to believe the Sox would be willing to do that.

I fully expect them to continue trying to contend and not rebuild. They have a full stadium of fans, an owner with deep enough pockets, and a baseline of talent that can compete for a division and the pennant. A few good moves by the team in the off-season, and hopefully they’re on their way back to the playoffs in 2010.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

NFL Week 1 Power Rankings

Here are my rankings after week 1. Mostly just guessing and like Jessica Simpson’s weight, it’s likely to dramatically change by next week. Basically, Jets and Titans were better than I thought. Texans and Panthers were worse than I thought.

1. Steelers – will need better offensive line play to keep Big Ben from getting his head smashed in like he was riding a motorcycle without a helmet.
2. Giants – Who needs a #1WR? They have enough defense and running game to make up for it.
3. Patriots – They have issues on defense, but like Tom Brady with ex-girlfriends or current wives, lots of scoring will make them potent.
4. Colts – They’ll get better and more in sync with the coaches. Losing Gonzalez hurts, but Peyton seems like the young guys.
5. Packers – Tough win against a better Bears team than expected. Need to fix that right tackle issue. Barbre is definitely not Mark Tauscher.
6. Eagles – Whoever had the under on the number of games McNabb would play this year (line set at 13 games) is likely to win. He’ll probably try to gut it out for fear of losing his job and play poorly.
7. Titans – They looked better than I expected. Is there a better coach in the country than Jeff Fisher?
8. Ravens – Defense looked extremely vulnerable against a bad Chiefs team, but still a win.
9. Saints – It’s the Lions, so don’t get too excited.
10. Vikings – That AD (It’s “All-Day” – not AP!!) run was one of the best runs I’ve ever seen. He is a man-child.
11. Cowboys – They always play well to start the season. Maybe Romo will be more focused in December without Miss Simpson?
12. Chargers – Looked very pedestrian against the Raiders, but still the most talent in the division. That water bug Sproles is dangerous.
13. Falcons – Matt Ryan looks like the real deal (which is good since he’s on my fantasy team) and they beat the real fluke team from last year, the Dolphins.
14. Seahawks – Hard to tell anything against the pathetic Rams, but it’s looking like they are the best team in their division.
15. Jets – They looked a ton better than I thought……so I’m feeling dumb about them already. I guess I underestimated Rex, and well, that’s a big dude you don’t want to anger.
16. Texans – They looked a ton worse than I thought…..but I won’t write them off quite yet. That offense should put up points.
17. 49ers – Great win at the Cardinals, which is good because it probably kept Singletary’s pants on after the game, and it took money away from Crabtree. (Does anyone have have a worse set of handlers/friends/agents?)
18. Cardinals – Bad loss and looks like the super bowl losing hangover is worse than we thought.
19. Bills – Valiant effort, but in typical fashion, thrown away. T-minus 3 weeks until the TO outburst?
20. Redskins – Expected loss
21. Jaguars – Hung tough with Colts like they always do, but not expected to maintain it
22. Bears – Truly enjoyed seeing Cutler fall on his face. Immaturity and lack of leadership from the QB combined with the loss of their defensive leader spells trouble, especially with Pittsburgh coming to town.
23. Bengals – Most unbelievable play I’ve seen. Almost feel bad for them, but then again, they always find a way to lose.
24. Dolphins – like being a race car driver during college……the wildcat caught some people off guard and had them intrigued, but it ran its course.
25. Broncos – A miracle play doesn’t mask the fact that they’re not very good.
26. Panthers – Paging Bill Cowher…..paging Bill Cowher. Please bring your chin to Charlotte for 2010.
27. Raiders – Good effort and Seymour makes a big difference on that defensive line.
28. Browns –Has anyone seen Braylen Edwards? To quote the groundskeepers in Major League: “They’re sh#tty.”
29. Chiefs – They gave up 38 points to Baltimore….enough said.
30. Buccaneers – Great comeback story with Cadillac, but that’s the only positive
31. Lions – Ummmm, at least they scored over 20?!?!
32. Rams – They didn’t score at all…..and it will be a tough time for them to get a win.

NFL Preview/Predictions

--- This post was my NFL preview/predictions which I released on Thursday before the season started. Given some of the events of week 1, some of them look idiodic already.......see NY Jets, Houston, Philly, etc. ----

Alright tools - here goes. Some long winded rambling, predicitons, and other garbage before the season begins. Obviously, I have no real knowledge, but then again, who ever does? I mean, who thought the Cards had a chance last year? Who predicted Plaxico would shoot himself? So this year, who knows what thug is going to shoot himself, invite his d-list celebrity girlfriend to join him in a threesome only to have her strip down and storm out of his house so he decides its a good idea to choke her (allegedly) - wait, that already happened to Lights Out Merriman.

In any event, here are my predictions after spending a little too much time on it. And since half of you have the attention span of a fly, I'll give you the key super bowl picks up front and then go through division by division with my ramblings. I have New England beating the Giants in the Super Bowl. I have NE beating SD in the AFC championship, and the Giants beating the Packers in the NFC Championship. That's right, I'm a homer and have the Pack in the NFC championship, and I think Rodgers has a legit chance at the MVP award. I guess we all owe Teddy Thompson an apology because he actually kept the better QB last year. I'm not downplaying what Favre did during his time in GB, but he went out like a total diva/d-bag. I'll never knock him for wanting to continue to play, but he's been nothing but a whiny 16-year old girl in how he handled everything and the way he tries to play the media. Even all this latest garbage about how he wanted Clemens to play last year because of his injury, etc. just reeks of him making excuses ahead of time in case he isn't successful in Minny, and he decides to quit again before the season's over. He'll have that parachute he's stuffing today by saying he might get hurt and he's not sure he can make it, and he might have menstrual issues right around the last part of the season when he starts playing like a baffoon. The bottom line is that he has had 1 good season in the past 4 (passer rating over 90, more than 4000 yards, and more TDs than INTs) - that season was 2007. That was the ONLY year of those 4 when he actually participated in the off-season program and actually showed up to camp in shape. So I think it's pretty obvious that when he's not prepared, and not in shape and his heart isn't in it, he isn't successful. Good luck with that Mr. Childress - looking forward to you being an offensive co-ordinator next year for some college team along with Andy Reid.

Enough of that rant.......and on to the predictions:

NFC West: Seattle (10-6), Arizona (9-7), SF (7-9), STL (2-14)
I think with Hasselbeck healthy, they're ready for a bounceback in a putrid division. Arizona doesn't have enough defense and at some point, Warner is going to realize either (a) he's Kurt Warner, an old dude coming off hip surgery, or (b) his wife is hideous and he ends up in a hot tub with Leinart and a dozen ASU college chicks, which leads to some serious distractions for the season. SF is better, but still not good, and St Louis is awful.

NFC North: GB (11-5), MIN (9-7), CHI (7-9), DET (4-12)
The question for the Pack is the defense. They have the guys that make big plays in Woodson, Collins and Bigby, but the question I have is whether they can consistently stop the run. I hope that Raji is the real deal and if the defense holds up, I think they're one of the best teams in the conference, if not the entire league. Their offense is extremely potent, and like I said earlier, Rodgers could make a run at MVP. I think Grant will be fine at RB, and Jennings is a flat out stud. Minnesota has the talent to be as good as anyone, but Peterson is still a little fragile and I think there will be some issues when Favre audibles out of a run play on 3rd and 2 to a pass and it goes incomplete. The team is going to be ticked, and since Childress has permanent knee-pads on when dealing with Favre, he can't discipline him. The team chemistry is then shot, and you can forget about his receivers wanting to make the extra effort across the middle for another off-the-mark pass from the old man. Cutler is an improvement in Chicago, but he seems like a big baby and he has no one to throw to. And the defense is older and less effective than it's been. Peter King is an idiot for picking them to the Super Bowl. Detroit is better with Stafford, Megatron and Kevin Smith, but still has a way to go.

NFC South: NO (11-5), ATL (10-6), CAR (9-7), TB (2-14)
New Orleans has a ton of offense and if their defense can just be average, they'll be one of the better teams. Atlanta is another really good team and by adding Gonzo as a weapon for Ryan, they should be able to compete with anyone. I don't believe in Turner as a fantasy stud this year, but between him and Norwood, they do still have a solid running game. Carolina is good, but always seems to underachieve. No real reason from me, just don't think they're as good as the other teams. TB is awful - any time Byron Leftwich is starting for you and you had to fire that Polak from West Allis as your o-coordinator before the season even starts, you're in for a long season.

NFC East: NYG (12-4), DAL (10-6), PHI (9-7), WAS (8-8)
Giants running game and defense are enough to keep them in every single game. Eli is not worth that huge contract, but he's above average, and they have enough capable wide outs to at least be a threat. I really didn't want to have Dallas with a good record, but their schedule isn't too bad, and I think they'll benefit from having no TO being a pain the locker room. Philly is the most overrated team in the league. Westbrook is old and beat up, they have a rookie and a second-year WR (Jackson & Maclin) that are not proven and while explosive, have problems with the basics of playing WR (catching the ball and remembering to hang on to it all the way across the goal line). Their defense is pretty decent, but not outstanding. Oh, and they went and messed with the psyche of the most fragile QB in the league when it comes to bruised egos by bringing in a huge distraction. I expect it to backfire royally, and the city turns on both McNabb and Reid, leading to Reid being fired when they miss the playoffs. Who cares about Washington? The only interesting thing about them is Clinton Portis when he dresses up like Sherriff Gonnagetcha.

AFC West: SD (10-6), DEN (6-10), KC (5-11), OAK (4-12)
The weakest division in football. I think Tomlinson has a big year, and Rivers is a good QB. The Merriman distraction is an issue, but I don't think the team likes him anyway, so they'll be fine. Besides, which of these other crummy teams can compete? I say none. Denver is a mess with the big-ego McDaniels trying to be Belichick. By the way, in case no one has noticed, NONE of the Belichick assistants have worked out well. Weiss at ND, Romeo Crennel in CLE, Mangini in NYJ & now CLE, and now McDaniels in DEN. I guess it goes to show you can't be a young guy and act like an a-hole - you have to prove it, like Belichick did before he became such a jag-off.

AFC North: PIT (12-4), BAL (12-4), CIN (8-8), CLE (3-13)
Pitt is extremely good - well coached, solid offense and great defense. Case closed. Baltimore is another team I thought would not be as good, but their schedule breaks right for them, and that defense is still tough. I expect Cincy to bounce back with a healthy Palmer and a rededicated Ochocinco. That being said, they're still just a .500 team. Cleveland stinks - see above about Mangini. The guy is an absolute moron and I can't believe he got another job. It's a shame because I think with Quinn, Edwards, and the rookie RB James Davis (fantasy alert - stash that guy on your bench right now), along with Joe Thomas, they have some potential.

AFC South: IND (11-5), HOU (11-5), TEN (9-7), JAC (6-10)
I think the Colts will be fine with the transition to a new coach and coordinators. Let's face it, Manning is basically running that team on offense already. I think this is finally the year that Houston breaks through and makes the playoffs. If Schaub stays healthy, they have one of the best offenses in the league. Tennessee was somewhat of a fluke last year, and I have a bad feeling Vince Young will see the field this year - that's not a good side for the Titans. Any time your QB may or may not have considered suicide the previous year, you do NOT want him on the field in a meangingful game - I'm just saying. Jacksonville is not that good and I still don't believe in David Garrard as a starting QB. Although more importantly, who the heck is he going to throw to? The ghost of Torry Holt?

AFC East: NE (12-4), BUF (6-10), MIA (6-10), NYJ (5-11)
With Brady back, they're pretty close to unstoppable. Their offense is sick. The rest of the division is pretty dumpy. Miami will struggle now that teams have seen the wildcat and can prepare for it. TO makes Lee Evans and Trent Edwards more valuable, but I think their offensive line is weak and I don't know anyone on their defense (maybe that kid Polozny-something from Penn St??). I think the Jets are headed in the right direction, and I'm sorry to disappoint the Head-Master (remember he was a big J-E-T-S fan), but it's not this year. I like Rex Ryan because he's kind of a loose cannon like his dad, and Sanchez will be good, but they still have plenty of holes and have kind of a tough schedule.

So there it is boys - an extremely long hit on the entire NFL. Like I said earlier, I have the playoff teams in the NFC as: NYG, GB, NO, SEA, DAL and ATL. In the AFC it's PIT, NE, IND, SD, BAL and HOU.

Well I'm tired from all that typing, so I guess I'll go get comfortable and make sure I have my drink ready for the game tonight. I love football season.................