NFL Week 1 Power Rankings

Here are my rankings after week 1. Mostly just guessing and like Jessica Simpson’s weight, it’s likely to dramatically change by next week. Basically, Jets and Titans were better than I thought. Texans and Panthers were worse than I thought.

1. Steelers – will need better offensive line play to keep Big Ben from getting his head smashed in like he was riding a motorcycle without a helmet.
2. Giants – Who needs a #1WR? They have enough defense and running game to make up for it.
3. Patriots – They have issues on defense, but like Tom Brady with ex-girlfriends or current wives, lots of scoring will make them potent.
4. Colts – They’ll get better and more in sync with the coaches. Losing Gonzalez hurts, but Peyton seems like the young guys.
5. Packers – Tough win against a better Bears team than expected. Need to fix that right tackle issue. Barbre is definitely not Mark Tauscher.
6. Eagles – Whoever had the under on the number of games McNabb would play this year (line set at 13 games) is likely to win. He’ll probably try to gut it out for fear of losing his job and play poorly.
7. Titans – They looked better than I expected. Is there a better coach in the country than Jeff Fisher?
8. Ravens – Defense looked extremely vulnerable against a bad Chiefs team, but still a win.
9. Saints – It’s the Lions, so don’t get too excited.
10. Vikings – That AD (It’s “All-Day” – not AP!!) run was one of the best runs I’ve ever seen. He is a man-child.
11. Cowboys – They always play well to start the season. Maybe Romo will be more focused in December without Miss Simpson?
12. Chargers – Looked very pedestrian against the Raiders, but still the most talent in the division. That water bug Sproles is dangerous.
13. Falcons – Matt Ryan looks like the real deal (which is good since he’s on my fantasy team) and they beat the real fluke team from last year, the Dolphins.
14. Seahawks – Hard to tell anything against the pathetic Rams, but it’s looking like they are the best team in their division.
15. Jets – They looked a ton better than I thought……so I’m feeling dumb about them already. I guess I underestimated Rex, and well, that’s a big dude you don’t want to anger.
16. Texans – They looked a ton worse than I thought…..but I won’t write them off quite yet. That offense should put up points.
17. 49ers – Great win at the Cardinals, which is good because it probably kept Singletary’s pants on after the game, and it took money away from Crabtree. (Does anyone have have a worse set of handlers/friends/agents?)
18. Cardinals – Bad loss and looks like the super bowl losing hangover is worse than we thought.
19. Bills – Valiant effort, but in typical fashion, thrown away. T-minus 3 weeks until the TO outburst?
20. Redskins – Expected loss
21. Jaguars – Hung tough with Colts like they always do, but not expected to maintain it
22. Bears – Truly enjoyed seeing Cutler fall on his face. Immaturity and lack of leadership from the QB combined with the loss of their defensive leader spells trouble, especially with Pittsburgh coming to town.
23. Bengals – Most unbelievable play I’ve seen. Almost feel bad for them, but then again, they always find a way to lose.
24. Dolphins – like being a race car driver during college……the wildcat caught some people off guard and had them intrigued, but it ran its course.
25. Broncos – A miracle play doesn’t mask the fact that they’re not very good.
26. Panthers – Paging Bill Cowher…..paging Bill Cowher. Please bring your chin to Charlotte for 2010.
27. Raiders – Good effort and Seymour makes a big difference on that defensive line.
28. Browns –Has anyone seen Braylen Edwards? To quote the groundskeepers in Major League: “They’re sh#tty.”
29. Chiefs – They gave up 38 points to Baltimore….enough said.
30. Buccaneers – Great comeback story with Cadillac, but that’s the only positive
31. Lions – Ummmm, at least they scored over 20?!?!
32. Rams – They didn’t score at all…..and it will be a tough time for them to get a win.