Showing posts with label Jessica Biel. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jessica Biel. Show all posts

Monday, April 5, 2010

Weekend Hangover - Love/Hate: NCAA Championship

LOVE

- Like Audrina Patridge in a bikini, you don’t have to like her to admit she looks good. Duke played their best game of the season on Saturday night and absolutely dominated West Virginia. They were on fire from the perimeter, they dominated the boards and completely manhandled the supposedly tough Mountaineers team. The Blue Devils looked like a team that belonged in the NCAA Championship game and that’s where they will be tonight when they take on Butler. I’m done with predictions since my predictions have been worse than once Audrina opens her mouth.

- Congratulations to Ms. Jessica Mack for winning the first Sports Addict Bracket Challenge! She was the only person to pick Duke to win the title and regardless of the result tonight, she has locked up the title. She will win University of Wisconsin gear and a some Sports Addict swag.

- Play Ball!!!! It’s officially opening day!! People everywhere are playing hooky from work and firing up the grill at the tailgate outside the stadium. The start of the baseball season is always a poetic time – the smell of the grill, the smell of the freshly cut grass, the feel of the peanut shells crunching under your shoes, and the taste of that first or tenth flat Old Style beer……….(okay maybe my memories are more of the old County Stadium bleachers than it is the newer stadiums like Miller Park where you can get all the flavors of Lienie’s or a premium beer)

- The Lakers are struggling lately, causing concern after cruising along as the best team in the Western conference most of the year. Is the Ron Artest crazy train the reason? Is Kobe beginning to tire out? Is Lamar Odom running out of Skittles to keep his sugar high? Or did Lamar finally realize he married the ugly Kardashian sister and now that Kim is single he’s having second thoughts? Either way, the best part is that it opens up the Western Conference playoffs and it wouldn’t be overly surprising to see Dallas, Denver, Phoenix, San Antonio or Utah right up there with the Lakers.

- Coach K is NOT taking the Nets job. Yes, the Russian playboy owner of the Nets is offering a ridiculous amount of money – like $12 to $15 million per year. Yet at the end of the day, there is no upside for him going to the pros. He turned down the Lakers job in 2004 when they already had Kobe Bryant and Shaq on the roster. The Nets have Devin Harris and Robin Lopez. He will be able to coach as long as he wants at Duke and will never be fired. He has been there for 30 years. Why would he mess up his legacy with a failure with the Nets? The number of failed former college coaches includes current college coaching stars….Rick Pitino, John Calipari, Mike Montgomery. Eddie Murphy was a successful comedian and actor, but the worst decision he ever made was an attempted music career. A choice he probably regrets as much as Coach K would regret a move to the Nets.

HATE

- The Donovan McNabb trade is such an indictment of McNabb by the Eagles it is incredible. Not only did the Eagles feel McNabb is not good enough to lead them to the promised land, they also showed they don’t think he’s going to be that hard to beat by trading him within the division!! There are tremendous differences between this and the Packers trading Brett Favre, not the least of which is that Favre was a lock Hall of Famer, and Donovan is possibly in the discussion. The Packers also knew that Favre still had gas in the tank and therefore wanted no part of playing him and traded him out of the division and out of the conference to the Jets (Favre still weaseled his way back into the division a year later by faking retirement ….again) While the media is spinning it that the Eagles showed respect for McNabb by not trading him to the Raiders, I think they showed him extreme disrepect by trading him within the division. Or maybe they just noticed the decline from 54-19 (.740) as a starter from 2000-04 to 36-26-1 (.579) from 2005-2009, and 17 games missed in the most recent 4 years with only a 2-2 playoff record.

And let’s immediately put away the ridiculous thought that the Redskins may be better than the Eagles next year. It’s not even close. The Redskins have a horrid offensive line, have awful wide receivers (Santana Moss? Malcolm Kelly? Compared to DeSean Jackson and Jeremy Maclin?), a talented TE coming off an injury, and a collection of washed up running backs – Clinton Portis, Larry Johnson and Willie Parker. The Eagles still have tremendously more talent than the Redskins, but Washington definitely improved with this trade. Putting Jessica Biel into a terribly written and directed movie with a weak supporting cast does not make it a great movie.

- The first national semi final game on Saturday night between Michigan State and Butler was a hideously ugly game. It was worse than watching former Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich trying to turn on a computer or send a text on the Celebrity Apprentice. (side note – has anyone seen this? The guy was a former governor and has absolutely no idea how to operate a computer or a cell phone. Who knew that his lack of tech skills would be more appalling than that awkward haircut? What the …….) As visually appealing as the Duke victory was, the first game was the exact opposite. It was a slugfest between two stout defensive and physical teams, which we knew coming in. What we didn’t know was that Michigan State was going to lose the game more than Butler was going to win the game. Michigan State missed lay ups they don’t normally miss, missed free throws, turned the ball over in uncontested situations, and had some painful looking jumpshots (sorry Draymond Green, those were some hideous bricks you threw up from the top of the key). Butler shot 30% from the field and won the game. Michigan State shot only 42%. Ugh. Michigan State had 16 turnovers, 5 of which were credited to Korie Lucious and I think the score keeper was being generous.

That being said, I don’t like whining about the officiating, but Green was fouled on his last drive to the hoop. As a coach, with 20-odd seconds remaining and down by one, you want a shot going to the basket so you either make the shot or get fouled and get to the line. Green did exactly that and got hit on the arm and didn’t get the call. It didn’t cost them the game – the turnovers and shooting 10-18 from the free throw line did that – but it was a terrible missed call at a very big moment.

- I watched a little bit of the opening night game between the Yankees and Red Sox last night, and nothing was more annoying than the ESPN feed being blacked out, forcing me to watch the game on the YES network. Michael Kay is among the worst announcers I have ever heard in my life and he ruined the opening night experience for me. He barely pays attention to the game and instead spends the entire broadcast name dropping to show off that he’s buddies with the players, and babbling on about random topics that don’t pertain to the game in front of him. It’s like he’s the annoying guy at the bar that keeps rambling on about the time he met a celebrity when you’re just trying to watch the game. We get it Michael, you have an enormous ego and you know a bunch of athletes that you sometimes have dinner with. He’s like the rest of the Jersey Chasers that used to go to the KK in Madison to try and work the football players in the back corner of the bar. Instead of the majestic call from John Miller and Joe Morgan, I was forced to listen to this idiot. I couldn’t stand more than a couple innings before I switched it off and never returned.

- The Milwaukee Bucks were playing the best basketball they had played since 2001. They were hot and have developed a chemistry between coach Scott Skiles and their team combining young talent like Andrew Bogut and Brandon Jennings with veterans Jerry Stackhouse and John Salmons. They were poised to put a major scare into either Boston or Atlanta in the first round of the playoffs. And now that has all gone up in flames when Andrew Bogut shattered his elbow in an injury that brought back memories for me of Larry Krystowiak blowing out his knee in Game 3 of the playoffs against the Pistons in 1989. Krystowiak worked hard to rehab the knee, including not cutting his hair in the back until he got back into a game the following season. So maybe Bogut could grow a mullet for next season?

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Tuesday Ramblings - No S#it.

Before getting to the headlines that should surprise no one………I’m a big Packer fan, but obviously not as big as this guy. I watched the game but if I didn’t know better, I would have thought he was responsible for the defensive game plan or something…….

-----------------------------------------------

Mark McGwire admitted to using steroids. No S#it. That’s almost as surprising as when I heard NBA players like to gamble and own guns. Why is this even a story? We knew with absolute certainty that he did steroids – look at the picture. Not just that his arms more than doubled, but look at the size of his head post steroids. It’s the same story as Sammy Sosa or Barry Bonds. Why does the media continue to shove it down our throats as if we really care any more? Mark obviously wants to get the A-Rod/Andy Pettite treatment now that he has admitted it so he can be loved in his role as hitting coach in St. Louis and eventually get elected to the Hall of Fame. We all know many, many baseball players during the 90’s used steroids. It was pitchers on steroids. It was hitters on steroids. Hell, managers may have been on steroids for all we know. We have to just footnote the era and move forward – we can’t go back in time and undo the records – they happened, we all watched and enjoyed it and the media reported on it with excitement. Last quick add – did you see the interview he gave on MLB Network? How much botox does he have in his face? His neck is all wrinkled and old, yet his face is perfectly smooth and doesn’t move even when he’s faking those tears. Let’s just move on.

------------------------------------------------

USC is struggling to find a coach to replace Pete Carroll. No S#it. So if you see a house with a ton of smoke coming from the roof and the former owner is running out of the house and laughing on his way to the bank, should you just head inside and call it home? The USC athletic program, both basketball and football particularly, is burning down due to repeated NCAA infractions. No current coach in a decent situation is going to leave that situation for USC. The only one who will? Jack Del Rio of the Jacksonville Jaguars, whom theJags would like to fire but are so financially strapped that they can’t. This could be a “get out of jail free” card for both Del Rio and the Jags.

------------------------------------------------

ABC’s “The Bachelor” show is heavily “steered” and creates story lines to build drama. No S#it. For those of you that have wives, girlfriends or secret obsessions with the show, the following link contains spoilers about the current season. So be warned but feel free to use it to win wagers of any amount against your wives, girlfriends or friends. Unfortunately, it does not contain pictures of Rozlyn, who was at the center of the supposed scandal and kicked off the show. But again, why would we be surprised that they stage/force many of the women to make these over the top statements of how in love they are with the midget pilot?

------------------------------------------------

Bullets don’t kill a 700 pound black bear. No S#it.

------------------------------------------------

NBC went cheap by moving Leno to the earlier slot, then reversed course and has now pissed off Leno and Conan. No S#it. I watched the new version of the Leno show once and it was horrendous. It reminded me of a bad high school production with cheap sets, bad lighting and awkward segments. So getting rid of that show is logical. Since Conan took over the Tonight Show the ratings have been awful because Conan does not appeal to the general audience for the show – middle aged and older adults. Conan’s a snarky, arrogant d-bag whose humor relies on him being smarter than you. It would then seem extremely logical for NBC to move Leno back to his original time slot and bump Conan out of the way. Yes, they’ve handled it poorly and yes, someone will get fired for the failed experiment. Yet people are acting with extreme surprise and trying to make a story out of something where the proper response should have been: No S#it.

-------------------------------------------------------

I feign interest in a blizzard on Mount Kilimanjaro just to post a picture of Jessica Biel. No S#it. Why would we be surprised about this? I mean, there are legit questions like why is Jessica Biel climbing a mountain? Or why is the granddaughter of ocean explorer Jacques Cousteau with her? I guess it really doesn’t matter.

Friday, October 30, 2009

Degenerate Friday!! Week 8

Last week I broke out of the .500 band…..with a 7-5-1 record. Not exactly kicking your man in the teeth, but more wins than losses is all that matters. There are some good matchups this week, and one of the all-time worst matchups in the history of the NFL. With trick-or-treat taking place throughout most of the country this weekend; the games are broken down by categories based on the candy that gets handed out. Five categories, so I left out a decent number of good and bad candy including those nasty peanut butter things in the orange and black wax paper wrappers. Who ever thought that was a good candy to get? Nasty, sticky and strange. Pencils & raisins also are among the worst things that could ever be handed out to kids. Who wants that crap when you’re supposed to be gorging on sweets? You can worry about US obesity 363 days a year, but not on Halloween, and not on Thanksgiving.

And let’s also make a pact – now that my friends and I are at the age where some of us own houses or have kids of our own – no handing out ONE bite or fun size candy bar!! What fun are two bites of candy deliciousness?!? Either give out a couple of the small bars, or just get the full size candy.

On to the week 8 picks starting from the worst possible candy you can hand out working up to the best candy/games………standard disclosures – recreational use only, home team in CAPS, etc.

The Apple
Who wants an apple on Halloween? Don’t get me wrong, I love apples – my favorite fruit and my favorite line from Matt Damon (“How you like them apples!?!”). But I do not want anything to do with an apple when you should be filling my plastic pumpkin basket with sugar. If you hand out an apple, you deserve to have that kid get to the end of your driveway, turn around and fire that apple off your front door like a CC Sabbathia heater.

LIONS (-3.5) over Rams (Craptastic Game of the Week)
This is an awful excuse for a football game. It will be more entertaining to rewatch a half dozen of the college games from Saturday than to watch this game. The teams have combined to win 3 times in their past 46 games. The Rams have scored the fewest points in the league and given up the most points in the league. They couldn’t score if they were given a leading role opposite Jennifer Anniston. Have to go with the Lions at home to extend the Rams losing streak to 18 games.

Smarties Candy
Smarties, the self-proclaimed “America’s favorite candy wafer roll,” are not bad tasting, but they go too fast and they make your mouth pucker up and prevent you from eating more candy. These are the football games that have a couple of semi-intriguing storylines, but you don’t want to focus on them, and it might not be compelling for long.

BEARS (-13) over Browns
Lovie Smith is starting to feel the heat, and this is a game that he has to win (and probably win impressively) to slow down the media attack. Maybe the Browns should hire Justin Timberlake as GM, as he has an impressive track record of scoring: Jessica Biel, Cameron Diaz, Alyssa Milano, Scarlett Johansson, and hot Britney.

Jaguars (+3) over TITANS (Lock of the Week)
I’m down on the reinvention of the Vince Young Experience. How do you think the team is going to react to the owner ordering the coach to start his overpaid back up QB to “see what they have” in him? The coach doesn’t want to start him, but an 0-6 record does not provide Jeff Fisher with any leverage. Jags are just hanging around on the outskirts of the playoff picture, and I have a feeling MJD might dress up as an Oompa-Loompa for Halloween.

CHARGERS (-16.5) over Raiders
JaMarcus “Shamu” Russell couldn’t have made it any worse after his pathetic game against the Jets…..until he opened his mouth and proved that there is absolutely no hope at this guy even being an adequate back up in the NFL. Chargers blew out the Chiefs last week, and should be able to do it again. The only thing that could potentially give the Raiders hope is that it’s a divisional game, and that’s not much.

The Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup
Arguably among the tastiest combinations in the entire candy world: chocolate and peanut butter. Nothing better on Halloween than heading up to a door and seeing that "Take One" sign above a basket of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. Jackpot!! When it comes to the "take one" baskets, there were 3 ways to go: (1) the nerdy kids that actually only took one; (2) the kids who didn't want to get in trouble, but had to take advantage of the situation and took a handful (or two); and then (3) the kids that just dumped the entire basket into your bucket. I always went for option 2 - harder to prove that I didn't take one (maybe the last 7 houses were giving out Reese's!!), but I was getting more than my share. These games have a great combos (RomoPyle-Austin, Warner-Fitzgerald, and Schaub-Johnson), but the games could be over quickly.

Texans (-3.5) over BILLS
I have a bad feeling about this game because every time anyone buys into the Texans, they typically throw up on themselves. The Bills record isn’t bad, but their wins have come against the Bucs (horrid), and huge turnover games by the Jets & Panthers. If Schaub can continue to not turn over the ball, the Texans should not have a problem. The biggest concern for the Texans is not whether Andre Johnson plays, but what the weather in Orchard Park is like come Sunday. They shouldn't even need Johnson to put up points on the Bills.

COWBOYS (-9.5) over Seahawks
Dallas seems to have found their mojo, and now welcome the perpetually banged up Seahawks to town. Without Walter Jones the Seattle offense has been impotent. Pretty sure I’m not going to taunt Miles Austin this week, as the guy has 400+ yards and 4 TDs in his past two games. Maybe a little bit of a letdown from those astronomical numbers, but he should be able to light up the ‘Hawks secondary.

CARDINALS (-10) over Panthers
This game opened up as a 7.5 point line, and likely moved to 10 as soon as John Fox announced he was going to stick with Jake Delhomme this week. The Cards have been winning with defense rather than offense lately, and were the team that started the Delhomme death spiral in the playoffs last year. Look for more of the same from a snake-bitten Jake, and the Cards roll at home.

The Kit-Kat
The real key to the Kit-Kat? Toss it in the freezer for a while, then after a couple hours, you have an absolutely outstanding treat. I mean, who doesn’t want to take a break with a Kit Kat? Now you’re singing the jingle – “Gimme a break. Gimme a break. Break me off a piece of that Kit Kat bar!” You're welcome. And the Kit-Kat isn’t the best candy, but it’s solid and reliable, just like these games matching up two competitive teams.

JETS (-3) over Dolphins
Dolphins beat the Jets in Miami with the late wildcat touchdown. Rex Ryan will have his defense ready for the rematch. Mark Sanchez won’t be hot dogging it this week, but he should be able to put up yards against the Dolphins defense. The Dolphins have the QB in Henne capable of throwing it, but they are not happy with Ted Ginn Jr not catching it.

Broncos (-3.5) over RAVENS
Ravens are coming off a bye, so this is a dangerous route to take the Broncos on the road. Yet McDaniels will find a way for Orton and Marshall to light up the pathetic Ravens pass defense. I’m officially on the Broncos bandwagon. Ravens are spiraling downwards after their fast start, despite the very solid season Ray Rice is putting together.

COLTS (-12) over 49ers
Colts are coming off back to back bye weeks (real bye and Rams game), so they are rested and ready at home to welcome the Niners to Lucas Oil Stadium. The Alex Smith resurgence was impressive for one half, but they are going to need to put up more points than that to keep up with Peyton. And while Smith does have VD (that joke doesn’t get old), Peyton has Dallas Clark, and Reggie Wayne, and Joseph Addai, and Pierre Garcon. It’s a lot of points, but the Colts have won their last 4 games by an average of 24 points and they’re 5-1 against the spread this season.

The Milky Way
THE BEST candy out there is the Milky Way candy bar. Milk chocolate, caramel, and creamy nougat – a perfect combination of sweet, smooth and pure deliciousness. Don’t mess up your candy bar with peanuts or coconut – just keep with the good stuff. Did you know the Milky Way was created in 1923 and is known as a Mars Bar everywhere outside the U.S.? These are the best games of the week – all divisional rivalries and all should be extremely entertaining games.

Giants (pick) over EAGLES
Another NY-Philly matchup at Lincoln Field – the Phils & Yanks in the World Series Saturday and Sunday and the 76ers and Knicks play in the MSG home opener Saturday night. Giants are coming off two straight losses and need to rebound to take back command of the division. The Eagles rebounded from an embarrassment in Oakland by beating the I-AA Skins. Giants remember the McNabb phone call from the Giants sideline during the playoffs last year and get revenge as the Eagles miss the explosiveness of Westbrook. Since people keep comparing the WAGs (Wives & Girlfriends) of NY to the WAGs of Philly (Kate Hudson is impressive, but can’t hold a candle to Cole Hamel’s wife, Heidi), I’ll take Eli’s wife over McNabb’s.

Falcons (+10) over SAINTS
This is too many points for a divisional game against a playoff team. Yes, the Falcons have struggled the past few weeks, and yes, the Saints won by 12 last week after spotting the Dolphins a 21-point lead. But the Falcons offense and defense is better than the Dolphins. The Saints are the better team and definitely should win this game at home, but 10 points is a value play to pick the Falcons. I thought that last week when the Falcons were catching 4 from the Cowboys too……..

PACKERS (-3) over Vikings
Aside from my obvious Packer homerism………(and yes, Larry Johnson, I said homerism), the facts are there as well. The Packers will be able to audible in their home stadium, which they couldn’t do in the Metrodome. Ryan Grant has a fire lit under him after the Packers signed Ahman Green to push for carries. The Packers will have their rookie tackle more prepared to slow down Jared Allen (you can’t stop the guy), which should buy Rodgers enough time to find Jennings and Driver flying by the banged up Vikings secondary. And the crowd will affect Brett, and if they can get the cameras to get in close, he’ll probably put on a blubbering show for the television audience. Vikings won’t be able to match the Packers energy throughout the entire game. And if the Packers win, expect this from Brett, "It was fun to come back here but disappointing to lose, and it's just one of 16 and one we wanted to win for the division title." If the Vikings win, expect this accompanied by tears: "It was really great to come back here, the fans are great and I didn't realize how emotional it was going to be." His act will change depending upon the outcome - hopefully the Packers can slow down Peterson and create a couple of Favre turnovers like the Steelers did last week.