Degenerate Friday - Bucks Fans as Bad as Philly Fans?

You would think that living on the East Coast for the past 5 years I would be used to insane and clueless fans. Living in Boston, Sully and O’Malley continually solved the Red Sox pitching woes and knew exactly how to get Manny Ramirez to play hard. Living in New York, Vinny from Staten Island and Tony from Queens know more about how to develop a young pitcher like Joba Chamberlain than Joe Girardi, Brian Cashman or the Steinbrenners could ever know. And in both cities I was in close proximity to the most irrational and moronic fans of them all – Philadelphia fans. They have no self-awareness and are the most fair-weather fans I’ve ever seen.

So imagine my surprise when I’m perusing the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel and read an article on Keyon Dooling joining the Bucks and the ways in which he can help Brandon Jennings. A very nice article by Charles Gardner about the 10 year veteran who once was a top ten pick and seems to finally have found his groove in the NBA.

At the end of the article, the first couple of comments from fans almost knocked me out of my chair. Here were the Milwaukee fans, typically a little over-optimistic, but not as cynical or insane as the fans in many other cities, declaring that Kenyon Dooling has nothing to teach Brandon Jennings. Really? Are you serious? There is nothing that Jennings, an offensive dynamo but horrendously bad defender, can learn from a very good on-ball defender who has been around the league for 10 times as many seasons? The fans’ reasons were all based on the fact that Jennings has more talent than Dooling, so there is nothing he can learn.

Did Kobe Bryant learn things from Derek Fisher? Who on the Lakers controls Bryant’s temper, competitiveness and has his ear continually? Fisher. And there is no doubt that Fisher has much less given talent than Kobe. And Kobe’s coach? Phil Jackson was a solid, but not spectacular NBA player, so having less talent than Kobe, I guess he can’t teach him anything……oh wait, they’re positioned to win their second three-peat together.

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In other news, since it is Degenerate Friday…here are the things not to bet on this weekend:

Don’t Bet On:
- Fat Albert Haynesworth passing his conditioning test
- Brett Favre staying out of the headlines for the next week

- Tiger Woods winning the Bridgestone tournament this weekend
- Darrelle Revis being in training camp anytime soon
- ESPN not cramming the Red Sox – Yankees series down our throats when it’s pretty obvious the Red Sox are not going to catch the Yanks or Rays
- Every story you read about Nolan Ryan and his financial backers buying the Texas Rangers will have a picture of Nolan giving a noogie to Robin Ventura.

Quick Hits on "The Decision"

What does it mean that LeBron signed in Miami?

- Cavs owner Dan Gilbert acted like a spurned teenage girl with an open letter to the Cavs fans that rips LeBron for being cowardly, narcissitic, etc. While it is understandable that he feels that way, it was not the best approach to lure other high profile players to come play for him in Cleveland. It would have been much better for him to simply state that he was disappointed in his decision, and believes it didn’t show loyalty, but that the Cavs are moving forward in trying to win a title. It is another example of a time when you’re wrong, even when you’re right.

- LeBron proved once and for all that he does not have that killer instinct that Jordan, Bird, and Bryant. He wants to be a second fiddle. This is the end of the “King James” nickname. From this point forward, he should be “Prince James” because he doesn’t want the crown. He is a freak of an athlete, but he doesn’t have that extra gear and that ability to completely take over a game. James doesn’t have that. He never did. And he never will. He has decided to be the glorified Scottie Pippen to Wade’s Jordan. Time to trade in that Batman jersey, LeBron and make sure they make a Robin costume in XL.

- The Milwaukee Bucks benefit from the LeBron decision. The Bucks finished second in the Central division last season behind Cleveland. With the additions of Corey Maggette and Drew Gooden to go with resigning John Salmons, the Bucks look to have improved considerably during the off-season. The Bucks look to be in position to battle the improved Bulls (adding Boozer, a defensive coach and maturing Derrick Rose & Joakim Noah) for the Central Division title. The Bucks appear to be as deep as any team in the east, with talent on the bench to compliment the starters. Unfortunately they do not have the superstar to get the calls in crunch time, and that is what it takes to win in the playoffs in the NBA. The Bucks look poised to be a 50 win team that cannot get past the second round of the playoffs. Which is better than they have been in a while.

- Does the ESPN hype-machine have any boundaries? I mean, they were willing to drop any programming they had scheduled to do a 1 hour hype show to allow LeBron to rip out the hearts of the Cavalier fans in an extremely public forum. They then sat there and spent the first 20 minutes of the show bouncing around the same rumors and theories that have been out there for the past 2 months. It was a slurp-fest about how great LeBron is….even though he folded in every big game and never won a title. It was a new low for the World-Wide Leader in Sports.

- Since it is Degenerate Friday, my bet is that Miami will not win the NBA title next year. The Heat have 4 guys under contract currently, with 3 second round picks to add to the mix. They then have to add 5 players at the league minimum just to fill out the roster. They think that guys will be willing to take the league minimum “for a chance to win.” We’ll see how it plays out, but I don’t see crucial role players – guys like a Derek Fisher, Robert Horry or Bruce Bowen taking minimum contracts.

Donovan Saves US Soccer!!

Quick Hits for a hot & humid Thursday…..

- Ho-ly S#!t. That U.S. soccer game was among the most intense and amazing sporting events I have ever watched in my life. Anyone who says soccer games are boring after watching that game has absolutely no appreciation for true sports effort, intensity and athletic stamina. It was a game filled with scoring chances and plenty of sitting on the edge of my seat. I’m pretty sure that my neighbors may think I’m torturing Algerian hostages in my apartment after the the screaming and banging on furniture I did during the game. Jozy Altidore played the game of his life, Clint Dempsey put himself in the mix continually, and Landon Donovan – after remaining quiet most of the second half – picked the perfect time to get himself a spot in U.S. soccer lore. An incredible effort by a team that doesn’t seem to wake up until after it takes a punch to the face – Algeria hit the crossbar in the first ten minutes. And once again, Tim Howard was the key to it all, making a huge save on a dangerous header and throwing a strike out to a streaking Donovan to get the game-winning play started.

Now all the U.S. has to do is rid themselves of the Ghana-rians. I think they just need to find the ointment that will make the entire team disappear.

- In addition to that great sporting event, did anyone happen to catch what happened (and is still happening) at Wimbleton? I’m not big into tennis other than to mention Andy Roddick so I can post a picture of Brooklyn Decker, or to mention Maria Sharapova or the girl with the breast reduction. Yet this match yesterday between some 6’9” American and a French guy was/is unreal. They have been playing for nearly 10 hours, and in the fifth set they are tied at 59 apiece. They started the match on Tuesday, had it suspended due to darkness and played all day today only to have it suspended again due to darkness without a winner being determined. It is the most fight put up by anything French…..ever. It has been an epic battle of will to stay standing and competing this long. So to honor them, I probably should post a picture of one or both of them. Instead I’m going to post a picture of Anna Kournikova because much like this match, it won’t win a championship, but you’ll still be in awe of it.

- It is yet to be determined how the latest moves from the Milwaukee Bucks will turn out going forward, but as of right now, I am impressed with the moves that GM John Hammonds has been making. He traded dead weight for Corey Maggette, a legit scoring threat at the small forward position and also acquired a second-year guard, Chris Douglas-Roberts, that has shown flashes of being a Richard Hamilton-like player in the league. And after all of that, he still is sitting on 4 draft picks, including 3 second rounders. The Bucks have a dynamic point guard in Brandon Jennings and a post presence in Bogut already, so the addition of a swingman in Maggette, and the potential resigning of John Salmons gives them a nice position as one of the stronger teams in the East – probably somewhere behind the aging Celtics, the Magic, the Bulls (with or without LeBron) and potentially the Heat (if they resign Wade and convince James or Bosh to join him).

Weekend Hangover - Love/Hate

LOVE

- You can’t stop the Flying Monkey, Calvin Borel if he gets to the rail by the last turn!! Borel rode Super Saver to the victory on a sloppy track at Churchill Downs this weekend, giving trainer Todd Pletcher his first Derby win. The most unfortunate part of the entire event was that the rain put a damper on the hats and ridiculous outfits that could be shown. The best story was the short awkward guy who won a contest that allowed him to make a $100,000 single bet, and he put that money down on Super Saver, which went off at 8-1 odds, bringing the guy a cool $800,000 for winning the contest. That’s awesome. And since there is no reason to post a picture of Calvin Borel or a horse to start the week, I’ll instead opt for a picture of Diane Lane because she is going to be in an upcoming movie about Secretariat and was at the Derby this weekend.

- Coffee is for Kobe Bryant. (to get the reference, check this clip from Glengary Glen Ross – warning: language from Alec Baldwin) Kobe scored 11 points in the final 4 minutes of the Lakers victory in game 1 over Utah, and totaled 30 points on only 19 shots, making 12 of them. He started the game hot, and then coasted through the middle of the game, allowing Pau Gasol to keep LA in the game until Bryant came in to shut the door. Kobe has a banged up finger on his shooting hand and a gimpy knee and is still the most dangerous player in the league at winning time.

- If you missed the opening game of the Cavaliers-Celtics series on Saturday night, you most likely missed the best game of the series. Was it that great of a game? No, but it’s unlikely that the old Celtics will be able to maintain the level of intensity and effort needed to compete with the Cavs. Two years ago the C’s knocked out LeBron on the shoulders of an unbelievable performance from Paul Pierce, and it is unlikely Pierce can replicate that performance this season. Saturday night was the most rest the Celtics will have before a game in this series and they still couldn’t pull out the win. Look for the Cavs to finish them off in 6 games.

HATE

- Shut Up Brett Favre. Obviously he was feeling unloved during the NFL Draft and Chris Berman must have not met his quota of mentioning Brett and genuflecting at least once per 20 minutes when he is discussing the NFL. So Brett decides that he now needs to come out on his website and mention that he needs ankle surgery if he wants to come back next season. Of course he follows it up with comments that it’s not the worst pain and he could play and you shouldn’t think that the injury would be the reason he would retire. Whatever, dude, we’re so sick of your routine and even your most ardent supporters are starting to get sick of this scripted act every spring. Just go away once and for all you drama queen.

- It was unfortunate that the Milwaukee Bucks laid an egg in game 7 against the Hawks on Sunday as the Hawks advanced to play the Orlando Magic. The Hawks are tremendously more talented than the Bucks, but the Bucks were able to stay in the series without Andrew Bogut because they played hard, played intelligent, and played with poise and determination. The Hawks are very athletic, but extremely undisciplined, sloppy, and Mike Woodson was thoroughly outcoached all series by Scott Skiles. But keep your head’s up Bucks fans, I’ll let my college roommate, the biggest Bucks fan I know and a guy we called Bango tell us why it’s going to be okay for the Bucks in the future:

1) Brandon Jennings: It is unreal to think that he is all of 20 years old. With an NBA season under his belt the sky is the absolute limit. Once he can hit a jumper at a 42-44% clip, he will be impossible to stop.
2) John Hammond-took inherited a garbage heap and made it into a 6th seed. Makes you wonder who was the one making things happen in Detroit during their times of prosperity.
3) Andrew Bogut-breakout year this year both offensively and defensively. Unfortunatelty the Bucks luck turned against them in the fateful game he messed up his arm, but he has turned himself into a second team all-NBA center according to many experts. He was also the brain child of the ingenious and incredibly successful “Squad 6.”
4) Scott Skiles – the guy can flat out coach and gets the most out of his players. Continue surrounding him with talent and we can only get better.

- Is it too soon to give up on the Brewers? I hope not, but I do not have v.ery much faith in this pitching staff to turn it around and get them above .500. Add to that the prolonged offensive slumps like this weekend against the Padres (2 runs in 4 games – one of which was a HR from the pitcher?) and you have the makings of a 75 win season at best.

- Well, no matter what Brian Kelley does to improve Notre Dame football, he can’t undo this video. Ouch. I talked to a good friend and golden dome alumni and his response pretty much summed it all up: “I just lit my diploma on fire. I couldn’t be more embarrassed.”

Degenerate Friday - Kentucky Derby!!

There are plenty of gambling options this weekend in the NBA, but the real crown jewel of degenerates will be the Kentucky Derby on Saturday afternoon. The Derby is kind of like an early 1990’s Mike Tyson fight in that there is a ton of hype and build up and then it is over in the blink of an eye. With all the build up and hype, it’s over in just over two minutesNBC has a 3 hour pre-race show where they will give you stories on all of the jockeys and all of the owners. Does anyone really pay attention to the prerace show? I assume that while people are pounding mint juleps wearing pastel colored outfits at their Derby parties the show may be on in the background. If you’re going to gamble on the race, nothing said during a pre-recorded show about Bob Baffert is going to change your bet. The only thing of value will be the weather report.

The biggest story leading up to the race has been which horses have pulled out of the race due to injury or fatigue and the post positions. The favorite, Lookin At Lucky drew the rail which is not favorable due to the layout of the track and every other horse crowding down to get to the rail. The next favorite, Sidney’s Candy, drew the outside post which is not ideal in a field of 20 horses.

According to weather reports, it looks like an 80% chance of rain for the race, which could push back the post time and the track may be a muddy mess. And you know what Kramer learned about being a Mudder….. …..

Unfortunately, according to this site, all of the horses claim to have had success on “off tracks” or in the slop. So does that really change the bets? Not necessarily. I will be making two picks for the race, the pick I expect to win and then a slightly longer shot that will pay off bigger if it wins. And yes, I’ll be taking credit if either one of them wins.

The Pick: Devil May Care (10-1 odds, Post #11)

The only filly in the field who won her debut race at Saratoga in the slop by 4 ¾ lengths. She has a better starting position than the two favorites, which gives her an advantage. My only hesitation is that she will be wearing blinders for the first time during the race. Not sure how that change will affect her, but my amateur opinion is that she has the speed and power to win if she doesn’t get distracted.

The Value Shot: Super Saver (15-1 odds, Post #4)

Trainer Todd Pletcher believes his horse has been training really well on off tracks and Super Saver also won his maiden race on a sloppy track last fall. Combine that with the strong post position and the unflappable Calvin Borel as the jockey and you have the makings of a winner. Borel has won 2 of the past 3 Derby races, so he can never be underestimated, even if it’s easy to overlook him because he looks and acts like an extra from the Wizard of Oz flying monkey brigade.

So expect me to look something like this on Saturday afternoon……but probably without the coat since it’s supposed to be close to 90 degrees in New York.

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From horse racing to another crazy four-legged animal……..Fear the Deer tonight!! Go Bucks!!

Did This Just Happen?

Have you ever given someone a nickname that at the time you did not even realize how accurate you were? Well a few years ago, a classmate of my wife’s was dating a guy that was a meaty former military guy and kind of a spazz. I had only met the guy once when I ran across him in the gym and he came up to me as I was headed back to the locker room and asked me if “got a good pump in” today. That’s the type of meathead we’re talking about. We affectionately began referring to him as “Crazy Joe Davola” like the character from Seinfeld because his name was Joe. The relationship didn’t last long with my wife’s classmate and everyone went their separate ways. Fast forward three years to this story that caught my eye yesterday…Crazy Joe Davola was back. Only Crazy JoeDavola was actually Crazy Joseph Graves and he had been arrested for brutalizing his girlfriend’s small yorkshire terrier dog. Really dude? The little dog nips at you and you bash it with a belt buckle and kick it multiple times? I guess he got a good pump in on the dog. What a loser.

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This highlight has been all over the national news on SportsCenter, Yahoo!, The Big Lead, etc. but I still have to make mention of it here – Bango Buck pulled off the greatest mascot stunt ever. It just barely edged out Will Farrell lighting himself on fire while attempting to jump through the flaming hoop near the end of Old School. Not only did Bango jump from a roughly twenty foot high ladder, he also did a back flip and landed the dunk. Absolutely insane. There were so many things that could have went wrong on the stunt, just attempting it without getting injured would have been impressive, much less actually pulling the move off successfully. The video is impressive, to be sure, but I’m actually more impressed with the still shot which really highlights the height and danger of the move. Well done, Bango.

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Have you ever had one of those days where a couple of things go really, really well, but a couple of things go really, terribly wrong? Well Greg Zaun had that day on Monday against the Pirates. Zaun was on fire at the plate in the Brewers’ 17-3 romp, going 4 for 4 with 5 RBI, 3 runs, 2 doubles and a walk. The type of day you want to get the highlight tape for and replay over and over again for your grandchildren. However, for a brief moment in the 2nd inning, Zaun turned into Mackey Sasser or Chuck Knoblauch. He couldn’t throw the ball back to Yovanni Gallardo on the mound. It was bizarre not only for the action itself, but also because it suddenly got fixed and then there was never an issue again. Also watch the reaction from both Zaun and Gallardo, as they do not laugh, but they also do not seem really bothered by it. Such a strange and surreal moment in an otherwise standard blowout.

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Speaking of the Brewers, my most sincere wishes for get well and get healthy go out to the Brewers’ legendary announcer, Bob Uecker. Uecker is undergoing heart surgery and will miss the next 10-12 weeks of the season. Mr. Baseball has been a staple of Brewers broadcasts for 40 years and hopefully he will be back at full strength soon and adding his unique flair for comedy and entertainment with an unmatched knowledge of the game. Not only was he a great real life announcer, he was awesome in Major League with his famous “Just a bit outside!” or when he was in 80’s sitcom Mr. Belvedere. Get well, Uke.

Weekend Hangover - Love/Hate: NCAA Championship

LOVE

- Like Audrina Patridge in a bikini, you don’t have to like her to admit she looks good. Duke played their best game of the season on Saturday night and absolutely dominated West Virginia. They were on fire from the perimeter, they dominated the boards and completely manhandled the supposedly tough Mountaineers team. The Blue Devils looked like a team that belonged in the NCAA Championship game and that’s where they will be tonight when they take on Butler. I’m done with predictions since my predictions have been worse than once Audrina opens her mouth.

- Congratulations to Ms. Jessica Mack for winning the first Sports Addict Bracket Challenge! She was the only person to pick Duke to win the title and regardless of the result tonight, she has locked up the title. She will win University of Wisconsin gear and a some Sports Addict swag.

- Play Ball!!!! It’s officially opening day!! People everywhere are playing hooky from work and firing up the grill at the tailgate outside the stadium. The start of the baseball season is always a poetic time – the smell of the grill, the smell of the freshly cut grass, the feel of the peanut shells crunching under your shoes, and the taste of that first or tenth flat Old Style beer……….(okay maybe my memories are more of the old County Stadium bleachers than it is the newer stadiums like Miller Park where you can get all the flavors of Lienie’s or a premium beer)

- The Lakers are struggling lately, causing concern after cruising along as the best team in the Western conference most of the year. Is the Ron Artest crazy train the reason? Is Kobe beginning to tire out? Is Lamar Odom running out of Skittles to keep his sugar high? Or did Lamar finally realize he married the ugly Kardashian sister and now that Kim is single he’s having second thoughts? Either way, the best part is that it opens up the Western Conference playoffs and it wouldn’t be overly surprising to see Dallas, Denver, Phoenix, San Antonio or Utah right up there with the Lakers.

- Coach K is NOT taking the Nets job. Yes, the Russian playboy owner of the Nets is offering a ridiculous amount of money – like $12 to $15 million per year. Yet at the end of the day, there is no upside for him going to the pros. He turned down the Lakers job in 2004 when they already had Kobe Bryant and Shaq on the roster. The Nets have Devin Harris and Robin Lopez. He will be able to coach as long as he wants at Duke and will never be fired. He has been there for 30 years. Why would he mess up his legacy with a failure with the Nets? The number of failed former college coaches includes current college coaching stars….Rick Pitino, John Calipari, Mike Montgomery. Eddie Murphy was a successful comedian and actor, but the worst decision he ever made was an attempted music career. A choice he probably regrets as much as Coach K would regret a move to the Nets.

HATE

- The Donovan McNabb trade is such an indictment of McNabb by the Eagles it is incredible. Not only did the Eagles feel McNabb is not good enough to lead them to the promised land, they also showed they don’t think he’s going to be that hard to beat by trading him within the division!! There are tremendous differences between this and the Packers trading Brett Favre, not the least of which is that Favre was a lock Hall of Famer, and Donovan is possibly in the discussion. The Packers also knew that Favre still had gas in the tank and therefore wanted no part of playing him and traded him out of the division and out of the conference to the Jets (Favre still weaseled his way back into the division a year later by faking retirement ….again) While the media is spinning it that the Eagles showed respect for McNabb by not trading him to the Raiders, I think they showed him extreme disrepect by trading him within the division. Or maybe they just noticed the decline from 54-19 (.740) as a starter from 2000-04 to 36-26-1 (.579) from 2005-2009, and 17 games missed in the most recent 4 years with only a 2-2 playoff record.

And let’s immediately put away the ridiculous thought that the Redskins may be better than the Eagles next year. It’s not even close. The Redskins have a horrid offensive line, have awful wide receivers (Santana Moss? Malcolm Kelly? Compared to DeSean Jackson and Jeremy Maclin?), a talented TE coming off an injury, and a collection of washed up running backs – Clinton Portis, Larry Johnson and Willie Parker. The Eagles still have tremendously more talent than the Redskins, but Washington definitely improved with this trade. Putting Jessica Biel into a terribly written and directed movie with a weak supporting cast does not make it a great movie.

- The first national semi final game on Saturday night between Michigan State and Butler was a hideously ugly game. It was worse than watching former Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich trying to turn on a computer or send a text on the Celebrity Apprentice. (side note – has anyone seen this? The guy was a former governor and has absolutely no idea how to operate a computer or a cell phone. Who knew that his lack of tech skills would be more appalling than that awkward haircut? What the …….) As visually appealing as the Duke victory was, the first game was the exact opposite. It was a slugfest between two stout defensive and physical teams, which we knew coming in. What we didn’t know was that Michigan State was going to lose the game more than Butler was going to win the game. Michigan State missed lay ups they don’t normally miss, missed free throws, turned the ball over in uncontested situations, and had some painful looking jumpshots (sorry Draymond Green, those were some hideous bricks you threw up from the top of the key). Butler shot 30% from the field and won the game. Michigan State shot only 42%. Ugh. Michigan State had 16 turnovers, 5 of which were credited to Korie Lucious and I think the score keeper was being generous.

That being said, I don’t like whining about the officiating, but Green was fouled on his last drive to the hoop. As a coach, with 20-odd seconds remaining and down by one, you want a shot going to the basket so you either make the shot or get fouled and get to the line. Green did exactly that and got hit on the arm and didn’t get the call. It didn’t cost them the game – the turnovers and shooting 10-18 from the free throw line did that – but it was a terrible missed call at a very big moment.

- I watched a little bit of the opening night game between the Yankees and Red Sox last night, and nothing was more annoying than the ESPN feed being blacked out, forcing me to watch the game on the YES network. Michael Kay is among the worst announcers I have ever heard in my life and he ruined the opening night experience for me. He barely pays attention to the game and instead spends the entire broadcast name dropping to show off that he’s buddies with the players, and babbling on about random topics that don’t pertain to the game in front of him. It’s like he’s the annoying guy at the bar that keeps rambling on about the time he met a celebrity when you’re just trying to watch the game. We get it Michael, you have an enormous ego and you know a bunch of athletes that you sometimes have dinner with. He’s like the rest of the Jersey Chasers that used to go to the KK in Madison to try and work the football players in the back corner of the bar. Instead of the majestic call from John Miller and Joe Morgan, I was forced to listen to this idiot. I couldn’t stand more than a couple innings before I switched it off and never returned.

- The Milwaukee Bucks were playing the best basketball they had played since 2001. They were hot and have developed a chemistry between coach Scott Skiles and their team combining young talent like Andrew Bogut and Brandon Jennings with veterans Jerry Stackhouse and John Salmons. They were poised to put a major scare into either Boston or Atlanta in the first round of the playoffs. And now that has all gone up in flames when Andrew Bogut shattered his elbow in an injury that brought back memories for me of Larry Krystowiak blowing out his knee in Game 3 of the playoffs against the Pistons in 1989. Krystowiak worked hard to rehab the knee, including not cutting his hair in the back until he got back into a game the following season. So maybe Bogut could grow a mullet for next season?

Quick Hits before the NBA Trade Deadline

The Raiders signed Sebastian Janikowski to a ridiculous contract and now have the league’s highest paid kicker and punter on a team that has 10 total wins the past two years. If Al Davis is so into legs, why doesn’t he just hire Stacey Kiebler? On a serious note, at what point does the league have to step in and take control away from Davis, who continues to make head-scratching decisions with the once proud franchise?

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It is being reported that the Bucks have agreed to a trade with the Bulls for guard John Salmons to help fill the void after the Michael Redd knee injury. It seems like a decent trade for the Bucks to get a guard that can score while only giving up expiring contracts. I don’t know much about Salmons, but all of the media is clinging to his big numbers in the playoffs against the Celtics last year as the reason this is a good trade. The question I have is this: Are the Bucks making trades that will get them to .500 and secure them a low seed in the playoffs where they will be destroyed by the elite teams in the east like Cleveland, Orlando, Boston or Atlanta? Does that really feel like a successful season? I guess since their first playoff appearance since 2006 is progress, right?

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Maybe Danny Ferry read my article about Amare Stoudemire. Or probably not. Yet the Cavs decided to make a move for Antwan Jamison to fill their void at power forward. I think it is a much better trade for the Cavs, as Jamison can shoot from the outside, which means he can pick and roll with LeBron and doesn’t clog up the lane for Shaq. The Cavs are still not as deep as the Lakers, but they have distanced themselves even further from the Orlando Magic and the aging Celtics. Keep in mind that the title contenders have athletic shooting power forwards in Rashard Lewis (Orlando), Garnett/Rasheed Wallace (Celtics) and Lamar Odom (Lakers), and now the Cavs have their own guy to match up with those guys.

Also, keep in mind that even though the Cavs traded the contract of Zydrunas Illgauskas, but Big Z will likely never leave his house in Cleveland. The Wizards will buy him out, and 30 days laterhe will resign with the Cavs.

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Tiger is going to make a speech on Friday morning. It’s going to be more scripted than the fake phone call from Ali on The Bachelor. He’s only allowing a select group of reporters, friends and family into the room. It’s expected to be 5-7 minutes in length and he won’t take any questions. This is going to be more anticlimatic than the Yankees resigning Derek Jeter after his contract expires.

He’s going to apologize, say that he was addicted, and yadda, yadda, yadda. When is he going to return to golfing? That’s all that anyone really cares about at this point – or at least that’s all they should care about. He’s the one that has to handle his personal life and all the struggles with rebuilding the trust in his marriage, so he doesn’t need to apologize to me. Just let me know when we can expect to see him storming the course in his Sunday red, cursing over missed shots and banging his clubs around.

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Has anyone else seen this Barbasol commercial? I didn’t even know Barbasol was still around for the past 20 years. But there is so much unintentional comedy in this commercial and the jingle is so catchy, it will be in your head the rest of the day – “Close Shave America, Close Shave Barbasol!”

My favorite parts – at the 13 second mark, when he scratches his face because that beard is really getting to him. Dude – you drive a truck full of shaving cream, and you couldn’t get anything to shave with when you stopped at a truck stop? And at the 22 second mark, his wife is really excited he’s home, yet she won’t even come see him until he shaves. Add to that my wife’s comment when watching the commercial “That guy looked a ton better before he shaved.” But Close Shave, America. Close Shave Barbasol!!

Week 10 Hangover - Love/Hate

LOVE

- I thoroughly enjoyed Wisconsin thrashing Michigan on Saturday (read the caption on the photo). They dominated the Wolverines in all phases of the game, showing that Michigan’s 4-0 start was a complete fluke. Rich Rodriguez, those fast, undersized guys running a gimmick offense might have worked at West Virginia, but you need some size in the Big Ten. Ask Northwestern, who has not been able to string together consecutive winning seasons using the same offense and undersized theory that Richie prefers. The oversized Wisconsin linemen and huge John Clay wore down the Michigan defense. In addition, Wisconsin has uncovered a future (and current) receiving star in Nick Toon. Big, fast, and catches the ball with his hands. Very impressive.

- Not only was it fun to watch Stanford eat USC’s lunch, dinner and desert, it was also fun to watch Jim Harbaugh rub it in by going for 2 after their 7th TD and the game was already well out of hand. It’s the type of move that Pete Carroll and USC have been doing to the Pac-10 for the past 7 years, so it was satisfying to watch Pete and his dopey turtleneck-under-his-polo-shirt get peeved at getting the score run up on him. Good luck in the Sun Bowl, Pete. Looks like your dream freshman QB resembles Ron Pawlus more than Joe Montana at this point. He still has plenty of time to develop into a good quarterback, but he is not there right now.

- I give up trying to figure out the Packers. You knew they had their backs against the wall and would come out fighting, and they did, keeping the Cowboys shut out until the final minutes. But the real story of the game – Charles Woodson. Could he have had a better game? He forced a fumble by Roy Williams, had the strip sack of Romo, and then picked off a pass at the goalline. He absolutely dominated the game and proved that he is still among the best cornerbacks in the league. After 8 years in Oakland, he had 17 career INTs, taking 2 of them back for TDs. In his three and a half seasons in Green Bay, he has 24 INTs, and has taken 5 back to the house. The guy is playing incredible and this game could be the turning point of the Packers’ season.

- You might have missed it since it was the NBA, it was the Bucks, and it was a Friday night. But rookie PG Brandon Jennings went off like Christian Bale on the production crew. He dropped 55 on Golden State, including 29 in the 3rd quarter alone. And he didn’t even score in the first quarter. He set the Bucks rookie record for points in a game, passing Lew Alcindor’s 51, and scores the most points by a rookie since Earl Monroe in 1968. Jennings is taking the league by storm and making Scott Skiles’ job extremely easy “pick and roll & let Brandon do whatever he wants.”

- There’s a new bully in the NFC North, and no one would have ever believed it’s the Bengals. They’re 5-0 in the division and swept the Ravens and Steelers. And they did it by being more physical and dominating the Steelers with their defense. Pittsburgh could be in trouble if Polamalu is out for an extended time again, and why would they only call 16 runs and 40 passes? That doesn’t seem like Steelers football, but I think it speaks to the respect that the Bengals defense has earned.


HATE


- Think the evil dictator Belichick’s ego got the best of him last night? What in the world could he have possibly been thinking to go for it on 4th and 2 from his own 27 yard line, up 6 with 2 minutes left in the game? Not only did he make a huge blunder in going for it, but he left himself with no time outs so he couldn’t even challenge the spot. An epic screw up by the king of the hoodie that spoiled a tremendous game by Brady, Moss and Faulk. Belichick’s ego is bigger than John Daly after another weekend in Vegas. I get that the defense had allowed Manning to slice through them for 2 TD drives in less than 2 minutes, and he was subscribing to the Herm Lewis “You play to win the game.” Philosophy, but you have to play the numbers and it is less likely that Manning drives 70 yards than it is for him to drive 29 yards. You can make an argument for it, but at the end of the day, it’s a bad decision. Yet, Captain Ego Hoodie will refuse to admit that and just said that he liked his chances. No need to overreact, as Belichick is still a good coach adn the Pats are going to win the division. He just let his ego win the battle last night. Somehow, Manning and the Colts continue to win games that it seems like are out of their grasp. Can they run the table and go 16-0? It sure looks a lot more likely after passing this test.

- Begrudging congratulations to Ohio State for winning the Big Ten and securing at least a Rose Bowl berth. It was an extremely competitive and tense game as the Buckeyes beat Iowa in overtime. Unfortunately, the fact that it was intense and close masked how poor the football was. Both teams run the most boring and conservative offenses, with runs and dump off passes dominating the play calls. You can compliment Iowa for hanging in the game despite missing their emotional leader in Ricky Stanzi at quarterback or you can loath the Buckeyes for needing overtime to beat a team without their best player. Either way, it was a continual stream of 3 yards and a cloud of dust, incomplete passes and sacks. Not exactly a recruiting video for the Big Ten. It was about as entertaining as watching Ashlee Simpson trying to act.

- At this point, who is falling apart faster, the Jets or the Broncos? The Jets continue to talk the talk, but are tripping all over themselves trying to walk the walk. The Broncos lost their 3rd straight game, this time against the pathetic Redskins. In addition to losing Kyle Orton and Chris Simms looking extremely uncomfortable in the game, they allowed a fake field goal/fake punt/touchdown pass. That’s unacceptable if you expect to be a playoff team – especially against a Redskins team that is in complete and total disarray. They’re now tied with the improving Chargers, and the Broncos welcome the Chargers to Mile High Stadium next Sunday.

- Why the hell is there a Monday night game in Cleveland? They won 4 games last year. They stunk. They have 2 bad quarterbacks. Yet somehow the NFL thought it might be a good idea to drop a Monday night game in Cleveland? Pretty sure there are 25 more interesting things on television tonight……including Leighton Meester on Gossip Girl……………or Golden Girls……….or House Hunters………..or WWE Monday Night Raw…………or Two & A Half Men…………or Leave it to Lamas. I think it’s a reality show for Shayne Lamas, the hot bimbo daughter of Lorenzo Lamas – the dude from Renegade. And she was a bimbo on The Bachelor a while back, and I guess that's now enough to warrant your own television show.


- The NFC East is vastly overrated. The Eagles lost another game on the West Coast and proved that they are nowhere near the juggernaut they were made out to be. And they are definitely not an intimidating or tough team – neither physically nor mentally. The Round Mound of Coaching forgot that he had running plays on the back of his play sheet, and called almost exclusively passing plays. 56 pass plays and 13 running plays in their loss to the Chargers – not exactly a playoff-ready formula. The Cowboys looked to be the class of the division after beating the Giants and Eagles, but then got crushed by the Packers. And the Giants, after that 5-0 start, have lost 4 straight against better competition and suddenly look like they will be lucky to stay in the playoff hunt.

Barney Baseball

Baseball is in the final week of the regular season and I can’t remember a recent season with less drama in almost every race. The only exception is the AL Central where the Tigers and Twins are currently starting a 4 game series with the Twins trailing the Tigers by 2 games. Why does no one outside of Minnesota or Michigan care about who wins? Part of the problem is the media’s intense focus on only things involving the Yankees, Red Sox or Dodgers – the 3 biggest baseball markets. The other problem is that whoever wins the division is going to be first round fodder for those Yankees.

What’s better? To be the Twins where every year you might barely squeak into the playoffs and then get bounced in the first round, or to be the Marlins where they build up a team capable of winning (and they have won), then blow the whole thing up, are terrible for a couple years and then reload. I’m not sure, because I’d like to be in the playoffs every year, but do you become immune to the excitement if you just continually get bounced in the first round? Kind of like a girlfriend that has classic good looks but may not be a super model/singer vs. the girl with the boob job and botox that’s going to need to be “retuned” every few years. I think I’ll take the consistency year over year. Think Tony Romo trading in Jessica Simpson for Natalie Smith.

This season, there have barely been any changes in playoff teams since the end of June. As of June 30, the AL playoff teams would have been: Boston, NY, LA Angels, and Detroit. As of today, those are the exact same teams, the only difference is now the Yankees won the division and the Red Sox are the wildcard. In the NL, it took an extra 3 weeks, but as of July 20, the playoff teams would have been: Philly, St. Louis, Dodgers, and Colorado. As of today, those are the exact teams in the exact places.

The positive from the fact that the last 2+ months of the season have been meaningless, is that it confirms that the best teams will be active in the playoffs. These teams have proven over the course of the season that they have the best teams in their divisions and, in theory, the playoffs should be very competitive. I’ll put together a more in-depth preview once the regular season is complete, but for now I’ll just say that I think 1-2-3 starting pitchers and a couple guys who can mash are the keys to success in the playoffs.

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On a somewhat related, but different topic, I’m rooting really hard for the Rockies to fold in this past week and have the Braves or the Giants make the playoffs as the NL Wild Card. I’m not sure what I have against the Rockies – they swept the Phillies two years ago, which I thoroughly enjoyed – but I think it has something to do with the Purple Barney uniforms. Has a team wearing purple ever won a major championship?

NFL – Vikings -> Nope
NBA – Suns, Raptors (since dropped), Kings, Jazz, Bucks (since dropped) -> Nope
MLB – Rockies -> Nope
NHL – LA Kings -> Nope

The only real exception is the LA Lakers. Their purple and gold has won many championships, so maybe they break the rules about winning while looking like Barney.

I guess the only other exceptions I can think of are the Baltimore Ravens, but they are primarily black and white and use purple and gold as accent colors……maybe. And I guess you could make a case for the Arizona Diamondbacks, but since they’ve changed colors 3,217 times in the 11 years they’ve had a team, I’m not sure it counts.

So maybe that’s why I don’t want to see the Rockies in the playoffs. Either that or it’s the fact that games at Coors are never the classic pitching duels I like in the playoffs. Or I’d rather watch Lincecum or Tommy Hanson pitch than……….sorry, can’t think of a Rockies pitcher – Ubaldo Jimenez?