Weekend Hangover: Love/Hate

LOVE

- Has there ever been a more ridiculous ending to a college football game than the LSU-Tennessee game this weekend? LSU got down to the 3 yard line with under 30 seconds left and was completely confused and out of sorts trying to call a final play. With the clock about to run out, the center snapped the ball past the quarterback who fell on the ball to seemingly give the Vols the win. Only during the confusion of LSU substituting players and not knowing what play to call, the Vols were flagged for having 13 guys on the field. LSU got another chance and punched it in for the game winning touchdown with no time on the clock. A finish that was more unbelievable than Cristina Del Basso of Big Brother in Italy. Rumor has it that she is another of Tiger’s birdies. Wow.

- I love all the overdone hype surrounding the picture of Gisele at some European event and possibly kissing a dude that isn’t Tom Brady. There are so many possibilities and explanations that don’t involve a scandal or anything illicit. I mean, Gisele is Brazilian and they are all about kisses on the cheek for greetings and departures. Is it really a stretch to think that the guy just pulled a middle-school trick and turned his face at the last minute so she planted one on his lips? My brother asked me the most pertinent question that can be applied to this situation or the Dez Bryant dropping 55k on dinner: Wouldn’t you? If you were that guy and got that close to Gisele or if you were Dez Bryant and could afford to take an entire football team out to a steak dinner, wouldn’t you?

- That sound you heard on Sunday was the Vick hype train jumping the rails and going down in flames faster than Mel Gibson’s career. I haven’t seen how long Vick will be out, but the Eagles definitely need him. Kevin Kolb looked scared and weak-armed as he took over the Eagles and couldn’t lead them back against McNabb and the Redskins. The other lesson learned from this game: The NFC East is wide open because all of the teams suck. The Eagles were feeling good because they beat the Lions and the Jaguars. This week showed their defense is awful. The Redskins have two wins within the division, but have lost their two games outside the division.

- I love the slobber-fest that continues over Denard Robinson. Yes, he put up more video-game-like stats this week and just looking at the stats, he has to be the Heisman front-runner. Yet if you watch the game, he is not a very good passer and Michigan struggled to put away a poor Indiana team. Read the post game summaries and they talk about how he “heaved a high-arching pass to Hemmingway” for 42 yards which set up the game-winning touchdown. The reality is that he threw a terrible jump ball and Junior Hemmingway made a spectacular play to outjump and come down with the pass. At the end of the day, all that matters is that the Wolverines remained unbeaten after a win on the road, but at some point Michigan is going to play some competent defensive teams and when they do, it will be interesting to see how Robinson plays.

HATE

- Dear Ted Thompson, congratulations on building a championship contender in Green Bay. You have a top 5 quarterback, top 5 tight end, top 5 wide receiver, top 5 cornerback, top 5 linebacker, and adequate offensive and defensive lines. However you have a glaring hole at running back that needs to be addressed if this team is going to win a championship. I know you love draft picks more than I love Kelly Brook in a low-cut shirt, but this should be an easy decision. Give a call to Buffalo and see what draft pick they want for Marshawn Lynch. A 5^th rounder? Sure. A 4^th rounder? Sure. The lack of running game leaves the defense on the field for too much time, which tires out our talented veterans like Charles Woodson and Cullen Jenkins. Swallow your pride and fix the problem you created by not having more than Brandon Jackson behind Ryan Grant at the beginning of the year. This isn’t hard, Ted. You messed up when you didn’t get Randy Moss, so don’t be an ass-hat on this one. Make the call and make the deal. Sincerely, Trent

- Another big game for a Bielema-coached Wisconsin team, and another disappointment. Coach Alvarez used to excel at getting his teams up for the biggest games and they would come out with focus and energy in all of their toughest road games and difficult opponents. Coach Bielema just doesn’t seem to get the best out of his teams. He has an unbelievable amount of talent with studs like James White, Lance Kendricks, JJ Watt and he can’t seem to put it all together to get the most out of his teams. On Saturday, Michigan State beat the Badgers by doing exactly what the Badgers used to do with teams: pound them with the run game which opens things up for the passing game.

- I’m going to miss Mike Singletary’s post games quotes. Wait, he hasn’t been fired yet? Give it time, as there is no way he makes it through the rest of this season. He tried to deflect the shots by firing Jimmy Raye before this week, but now the scopes are set on the legendary linebacker. His press conferences are awesomely intense and his quotes are memorable, but unfortunately it has not translated to any on-field success.

- It sure seems like the Oregon Ducks should be considered for a spot in the national championship game if they continue to play the way they’re playing currently. At least I think so, but it’s hard to tell because I couldn’t watch the Oregon-Stanford game even if I wanted to because of the ridiculous television programming decisions made by Time Warner and ABC. Instead of watching a match up of two top-ten teams in prime time in one of the loudest stadiums in the country, ABC decided that the northeast would rather watch an awful Notre Dame team against an even-worse Boston College team. Are you friggin’ kidding me? Do you want to know why there is an east coast bias by voters? They can’t actually see the best teams because of the morons at ABC who still can’t get it through their heads that Notre Dame hasn’t been relevant in 15 years and NO ONE CARES about them. I don’t need to see another Notre Dame game for the next 5 years and I guarantee I won’t miss anything of importance.

Weekend Hangover - Love/Hate

LOVE

- Congrats to Michigan for winning a huge game this weekend which should launch them……INTO the rankings? Seriously, we’re supposed to be impressed by a victory against a team that was barely .500 last year and lost their starting quarterback for much of the game? I don’t buy it. Yes, Denard Robinson has put up monster stats the first two games…against Connecticut and Notre Dame. Call me when he does something against a real team.

- I love the return of football season, but let’s not overreact too much too early in the season. The sky is not falling in Indianapolis, Arian Foster will not rush for 3,000 yards this season and the Seahawks will not go undefeated.

- So much for Boise State’s chances of making the BCS Championship. When you’re only marquee win is against a Virginia Tech team that then loses to James Madison (who knew they even fielded a football team?), you can forget playing for a national championship. That would be like Jessica Alba trying to claim she should get a lifetime achievement for acting award with her highlight being Into The Blue.

- Everyone knows I hate everything Philly. Watching the Packers beat the Eagles brings me an inordinate amount of joy. And while it is a big road win to start the season in Green Bay, there are definitely some major concerns, particularly on defense. Dom Capers defense seems to be completely boom or bust. They blitz and take chances and if they don’t get a sack or an interception, they give up a ton of wide open pass plays and gashing runs. Perhaps Andy Reid’s sugar rush wore out by the end of the game, but he made some really questionable decisions down the stretch. Using his timeouts with more than 5 minutes remaining left the Eagles without a way to stop the clock after the 2 minute warning. And then on the critical 4^th and 1 play, with the Packers struggling to keep up with Michael Vick, Reid chose to take the fastest guy on the field and run him straight ahead like a fullback rather than stretch the field and let him use his speed. At least now we’ll get to watch the Eagles idiot fans whine about a quarterback controversy all season.

HATE

- Can the media – particularly BSPN – finally stop trying to sell us the hype on Miami quarterback JaCorey Harris? Much like the success of Glee, I just don’t understand the fascination with a show about the glee club or the fascination with a quarterback who can’t throw. He is a great athlete but a terrible quarterback. He was exposed against Wisconsin in the bowl game last season, so what made anyone think he would excel against an Ohio State team that was better than the Badgers and returned most of their starters? Harris threw 4 interceptions against the Buckeyes, ensuring an easy win for Ohio State. Looks like a reincarnation of Isiah “Juice” Williams at Illinois. Who? Exactly – another overhyped nobody quarterback.

While BSPN was hyping this as “Monster Saturday” they would have been more accurate to call it “Exposing the State of Florida” weekend – Miami and Florida State got hammered in so-called marquee games and the Florida Gators continued to show they have a long way to go to get past the ghost of Tim Tebow.

- Went to the US Open on Saturday with tickets to the women’s final. It’s a great atmosphere and we got there early and had drinks out in the gallery watching the end of the Roger Federer match on the multiple big screens available. Then we settled into our seats and watched Kim Clijsters absolutely destroy her Russian opponent, 6-2 6-1 in exactly one hour. As if I wasn’t disappointed enough that neither Venus Williams nor Caroline Wozniacki were in the finals, but then the match was a complete blow out. Imagine how annoyed I would have been if I actually had to pay for the tickets.

- The Wisconsin Badgers have enough talent to win the Big Ten this year, but they seem to be plagued with the same thing that has been a staple of too many Bret Bielema teams – they are undisciplined. They are careless with the football and make stupid plays which allow inferior opponents to stay in the game. Opening weekend against UNLV they gave up more points than yards in the first half (14 points and 12 yards), and this week against a pathetic San Jose State team, the continued to turn the ball over with a chance to put the game away before halftime. The Badgers have an awesome trio of tailbacks, a dynamic tight end, and an emerging receiving corps, yet if they play this way against a respectable opponent, they will get blown out.

- Even if the call at the end of the Lions-Bears game was correctly interpreted, it sucks. Calvin Johnson caught the winning touchdown in the final seconds but the ball came loose as he was bouncing up to celebrate. It’s a shame because the Lions played well enough to win even after franchise QB Matt Stafford was injured.

A Quick Reference Guide to the Big Ten for Nebraska

UPDATE: Check out the Weekend Hangover - discussing all the things to "Love" or "Hate" during the past weekend.

Welcome to the Big 10 Mr. Cornhusker. Once it is officially announced later this week, Nebraska will eventually become part of the Big 10 conference and will have played a major part in the collapse of the Big 12 conference. Congrats on that. So as you start your journey, I wanted to put together a quick reference guide to make you feel at home and realize that things are not all that different in your new surroundings. In fact, there are quite a few similarities between your old conference and your new conference, and here is a school by school breakdown of your new neighbors.

First, let’s start with your prettier and more outgoing twin sister, the Wisconsin Badgers. Wisconsin is what you would look like if you lost 15 pounds (which would make you faster on the football field) and got a boob job (aka improve your basketball program so that the best player to ever come from your school is better than either Eric Piatkowski or Tyronn Lue). Wisconsin should be the poster on your wall for what you want to be in 7 years if you make smart changes. Joining the Big 10 was your first smart move. Calling Notre Dame and telling them to stop being such arrogant deuchebags and suggesting they join you would also be a smart move.

The Ohio State Buckeyes are like your Texas Longhorns. They are the biggest and the baddest in the conference. They spend the most, they make the most and they have the loudest, most loyal and vocal fanbase. Don’t ever say anything bad about them because they will rally the rest of their rabid irrational fans and you will never hear the end of it.

The Michigan Wolverines are the Oklahoma Sooners. They think they are the big powerhouses of their conferences because they have strong traditions, but they fail to realize that they’ve been completely surpassed by their rivals (Ohio State for Michigan and Texas for Oklahoma).

The Indiana Hoosiers are your Colorado Buffaloes. They have some tradition in sports, but haven’t been relevant in years. They are also among the biggest party schools in the conference and have the easiest girls that like to party. If you’re looking for a good time, the same way you used to head to Denver, you now can head to Bloomington. Yes, I know, that’s in Indiana, and it’s hard to believe that a good time can be had in Indiana.

The Iowa Hawkeyes are the well, Iowa State Cyclones. They are both inbred, corn-fed farmers that occasionally put together a decent team or two when they get a good recruit like Marcus Fizer or BJ Armstrong. Oh, and no offense to you, Mr. Cornhuster for that “corn-fed” comment. Then again, the Beach Boys did let us know that the midwest farmer's daughters really make you feel alright, so there is something to be said for that.

The Minnesota Gophers are your Texas Tech Red Raiders. They have hideous uniforms for every sport and while they may hire a big coach (Tubby Smith like TTU’s Bobby Knight), they still suck. It’s not really worth spending too much time on a team whose mascot is a smiling furball wearing a maroon polyester sweater.

The Purdue Boilermakers are the Baylor Bears. The Boilers are the forgotten team in Indiana like Baylor is the forgotten team in Texas. At least Purdue has not had the scandals that plagued the Bears a few years ago. They are never really contenders for any titles despite having some really good players, like Drew Brees, Glen Robinson or Kyle Orton.

The Illinois Fighting Illini are the Oklahoma State Cowboys. They wear orange, they’ve had some issues in the past with rule breaking (Eddie Sutton at OSU and the whole Deon Thompson issue with Illinois basketball), and they’ve produced some of the on-air talent at ESPN – Doug Gottleib and Steven Bardo. Illinois does have the ability to recruit some off-field talent from the greater Chicago area, much like Oklahoma State can recruit from Oklahoma City or Tulsa. Why would you recruit talent from Tulsa? Because spell out Tulsa backwards and you’ll learn what you can find in that city.

The Penn State Nittany Lions are the Kansas State Wildcats. They are the state schools that play the ugly step-sister to their “non-state” teams – Penn is tremendously more accomplished academically than PSU, and Kansas has the athletic tradition that KSU wishes it had. Both PSU and KSU also have coaches that provide endless moments of unintentional comedy with Joe Paterno and Frank Martin.

The Michigan State Spartans are the Kansas Jayhawks. They are both basketball powerhouses that are perennial title contenders. Unfortunately, that’s all they have going for them. It’s tough to find pictures of talent from the schools – seriously, I looked – and their football legends include Plaxico Burress, TJ Duckett, Charles Rogers, and Todd Reesing (yeah, that’s the best Kansas had to offer). At least Kansas will likely be able to dominate the Mountain West basketball standings now.

The Northwestern Wildcats are the Texas A&M Aggies. Well, the Wildcats are really like the Aggies with a large dose of Adderall. Unlike your former conference, you will actually find more than one school in the Big 10 that has strong academics – assuming you overlook the fact that the Big 10 can’t count. Texas A&M probably wouldn’t crack the top half of your new conference, and we know that your academic record will put you at the bottom of the conference next to Penn State, Indiana and Minnesota.

So welcome to the Big 10!! We hope that this has helped to make you feel at home and see the many similarities to your old neighborhood and the many upgrades and amenities that are now available to you. We hope you’re prepared to step up your game and bring some of your finest talents to our towns. We’ll make sure they are taken care of. Good Luck!