LeBron Is DEFINITELY Signing In Chicago

…or Miami…or New York…or New Jersey…or Cleveland. Enough already! The entire LeBron watch has become more annoying than the annual “Brett Favre Retirement Watch.” A source says it is a done deal that James and Bosh are joining Derrick Rose in Chicago. Another source says Miami is the favorite. A different source says the Knicks are poised to explain to LeBron that they have the most flexibility to build around him for the next 5 years, something the other teams can’t offer. Listen, LeBron has not told anyone where he is going to sign. His inner circle probably doesn’t even know with certainty at this point. So all of these sources are full of it. No one knows and no one will until it is official. Thankfully that date is approaching soon – but keep in mind that he will declare for free agency tomorrow (July 1st) but he cannot officially sign until the 8th, so we will have a full week of bogus stories and sources from random people who claim to have a friend’s cousin’s brother’s girlfriend’s sister that knows.

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What is the deal with teams that I bag on suddenly making runs deep into tournaments? It happened with college basketball when I declared before the tournament that Butler had no chance to win it all. They promptly make it to the final game and came within a half court shot of winning it all. Fastforward to a few weeks ago when I questioned whether anyone was actually from Paraguay. And all they did was make their way to the quarterfinals of the World Cup after their penalty kick win over Japan.

The bright spot about Paraguay? This girl continues to get more and more attention and she has decided that if Paraguay wins the World Cup, she will run naked through the streets to celebrate. I don’t know about you, but that’s enough to make me a fan….at least of Larissa Requilme. (and here’s a link to more pictures of the only person I have ever heard of from Paraguay)

Donovan Saves US Soccer!!

Quick Hits for a hot & humid Thursday…..

- Ho-ly S#!t. That U.S. soccer game was among the most intense and amazing sporting events I have ever watched in my life. Anyone who says soccer games are boring after watching that game has absolutely no appreciation for true sports effort, intensity and athletic stamina. It was a game filled with scoring chances and plenty of sitting on the edge of my seat. I’m pretty sure that my neighbors may think I’m torturing Algerian hostages in my apartment after the the screaming and banging on furniture I did during the game. Jozy Altidore played the game of his life, Clint Dempsey put himself in the mix continually, and Landon Donovan – after remaining quiet most of the second half – picked the perfect time to get himself a spot in U.S. soccer lore. An incredible effort by a team that doesn’t seem to wake up until after it takes a punch to the face – Algeria hit the crossbar in the first ten minutes. And once again, Tim Howard was the key to it all, making a huge save on a dangerous header and throwing a strike out to a streaking Donovan to get the game-winning play started.

Now all the U.S. has to do is rid themselves of the Ghana-rians. I think they just need to find the ointment that will make the entire team disappear.

- In addition to that great sporting event, did anyone happen to catch what happened (and is still happening) at Wimbleton? I’m not big into tennis other than to mention Andy Roddick so I can post a picture of Brooklyn Decker, or to mention Maria Sharapova or the girl with the breast reduction. Yet this match yesterday between some 6’9” American and a French guy was/is unreal. They have been playing for nearly 10 hours, and in the fifth set they are tied at 59 apiece. They started the match on Tuesday, had it suspended due to darkness and played all day today only to have it suspended again due to darkness without a winner being determined. It is the most fight put up by anything French…..ever. It has been an epic battle of will to stay standing and competing this long. So to honor them, I probably should post a picture of one or both of them. Instead I’m going to post a picture of Anna Kournikova because much like this match, it won’t win a championship, but you’ll still be in awe of it.

- It is yet to be determined how the latest moves from the Milwaukee Bucks will turn out going forward, but as of right now, I am impressed with the moves that GM John Hammonds has been making. He traded dead weight for Corey Maggette, a legit scoring threat at the small forward position and also acquired a second-year guard, Chris Douglas-Roberts, that has shown flashes of being a Richard Hamilton-like player in the league. And after all of that, he still is sitting on 4 draft picks, including 3 second rounders. The Bucks have a dynamic point guard in Brandon Jennings and a post presence in Bogut already, so the addition of a swingman in Maggette, and the potential resigning of John Salmons gives them a nice position as one of the stronger teams in the East – probably somewhere behind the aging Celtics, the Magic, the Bulls (with or without LeBron) and potentially the Heat (if they resign Wade and convince James or Bosh to join him).

Weekend Hangover - Love/Hate

LOVE

- The British announcers for the World Cup have been absolutely fantastic. In addition to their accent giving the games an air of importance, they have a way of perfectly painting a picture and saying direct things without coming across as independent. In one of the games a player completely whiffed on a shot attempt and the announcer declared that it was a “disappointing fresh air effort by the striker.” Awesome. The next time Prince Fielder strikes out, I expect Brian Anderson to call it a “fresh air effort” by the rotund first baseman.

- New Zealand, the 78th ranked team in the world played Italy, the 5th ranked team, to a draw on Saturday. It was an enormous moment for the team known as the Kiwis, and was their second draw of the tournament. However, in the closing minutes of the game, I found myself constantly looking at the score to see if I was missing something. The announcers were crawling all over themselves to talk about what a dramatic upset the game was and comparing to the biggest upsets in World Cup history. Is a tie really an upset? I understand that New Zealand has never won a World Cup match and were not supposed to tie Italy. But calling it an upset just seems incorrect. Maybe this actually belongs in the “hate” section, but oh well, I’m too lazy to do anything about it now.

- And people from New Jersey wonder why everyone makes fun of them? They themselves declare that they are extremely dissatisfied so why would anyone else respect them?

- I tried to find a link online, but haven’t been able to for this insane story. Reading the NY Times on Saturday morning, and on page A14 there is a note about the responses from readers regarding the city’s plan to eliminate the rats in the subway stations. The author was surprised by the love for the rats from the citizens of New York. So I breeze through the letters and come to this one, which likely came from some senile 150-year old lady named Katherine Conant….enjoy.

“I had a pet rat for more than two years. She was one of the sweetest animals I have owned. She would sit with me when I watched TV in an old robe I would later wash. She was cuddly and would lick me when I stroked her, etc. When she was very old and had trouble walking, she would nonetheless drag herself toward me when I entered the room…….”

HATE

- That was an amazing choke job by Dustin Johnson at the U.S. Open on Sunday at Pebble Beach. Guy goes into Sunday in the final grouping and promptly puts up an 82 closing round. Ouch. It was hard to watch. I had never heard of the guy and probably will never hear from him again, but I think the problem might have been his dopey hat. How the heck did he expect to win a major golf tournament looking like that?

- Why do news organizations try to stuff square pegs in round holes? Peter King, the veteran Sports Illustrated columnist is covering the World Cup this summer. Why? He has no insight to the sport, no connections to anyone involved with the sport, and has a penchant for spouting off ill-informed opinions on twitter. So why would be be surprised when he tweets an insensitive comment about the African referee who struggled in the USA-Slovenia game? He shouldn’t be anywhere near covering a soccer tournament that he self-admittedly is painfully ill-prepared for. Reading his thoughts on soccer is the equivalent of me turning this blog into coverage of New York’s fashion week and breaking down women’s dresses.

- Along the same lines, Friday afternoon I had some down time and flipped on ESPN’s coverage of the US Open golf. I love the Pebble Beach area on the Monterrey Peninsula, and was looking forward to some relaxing golf action. Instead I get greeted by the blithering idiot that is Chris Berman in the booth. It is a horrible matching of personality and event. While I respect the hell out of him for putting ESPN on the map more than 30 years ago and his style was original in the 1980’s, Berman’s loud and overdone shtick is long past its expiration date and having him cover a golf tournament, where he doesn’t have the knowledge and worse, the personal awareness to know that he doesn’t have the knowledge, is shameful. Just stick to the desk on NFL Countdown and collect those checks that are fatter than your waistline.

Somewhat Insensitive Thoughts on the World Cup

Random thoughts while watching the opening days of the World Cup 2010 in South Africa…..

- Does anyone actually know (or have heard of) anyone from Paraguay or Uruguay? I never hear anything about either country or even stories about people from those countries. I thought perhaps they were made up countries just for the World Cup. I even read the entire Wikipedia page on Paraguay hoping to get something interesting…..and all I found out was that it’s a land-locked country in South America with a river and all the the people live by the one city. So I was still in the camp that it was a made-up place until I saw this picture which completely changed my mind……..they’re real, and they’re spectacular.

- Enough whining about the vuvuzela horns. Honestly. Why are people so worried about the background noise during a broadcast? It’s a South African tradition, so who is to say they can’t blow their own horns if they want to? There are a ton of ridiculous US traditions at sporting events that are extremely annoying and no one tries to ban them: the rally monkey? Thunderstix? Dodger fans showing up in the 4th inning? Cubs fans preening and posing and being more aware of who is at the game than the fact that the team sucks again? All annoying traditions that aren’t going to change – just like the vuvuzela.

- I am a fan of soccer, having played it most of my life, but I absolutely hate the flopping and overdramatics of many of the teams – particularly the South American teams (the Europeans rank second in flopping). These guys are such great and tough athletes, but they act like the French when war breaks out any time a defender is within two feet of them. It’s pathetic and annoying.

- I’ve never been to South Africa (but it’s on my list), so I don’t really know what it is like there. However, judging by the ESPN presentation, I’m left to think it’s just like The Lion King. The dramatic, majestic music and continual pictures of zebras, rhinos and giraffes.

- The NY Times soccer blog is a great way to follow the games if you can’t watch them live. The amount of information during a live game in pretty impressive, keeping stats for touches by each and every player, and the heat map that shows minute-by minute where the action has been focused is awesome.

- This is another good site for all scheduling information for the World Cup to find out when the US plays again or who is playing each day. It’s also a good way to check when Team England is playing again, which is your next time to see some of the WAGs in the stands, like Abbey Clancy. By the way, they play Friday at 2:30 pm (EST), so set your DVR and hope for some shots of Clancy, Coleen Rooney or Alex Curran.

Weekend Hangover - Love/Hate

LOVE

- Spent the weekend in comedy clubs in New York. Saw some great shows and great comedians – particularly Jared Girmscheid and Joe Narvaez. Both guys were extremely entertaining and put on a great show - definitely worth watching. Jared performs regularly in Chicago and Joe performs a steady schedule in New York. Check to see if and when they might be performing around you and get out and see them – you won’t be disappointed.

- This video has been going around for a while now, but it is well worth a link and the time to watch. It contains about 4,000 f-bombs from current minor league manager and former New York Met Wally Backman in an on-field altercation with an umpire. I would definitely have a beer with Wally.

- Did we just witness the soccer version of Bill Buckner in Saturday’s World Cup match between the USA and England? While right now the horrendous play by England’s goalie allowed the US to steal a tie, if both teams advance out of pool play, the goal will be remembered for comedy, and no real repercussions. The bigger issue for Team USA was the fact that the Brits peppered the US defense and goalie Tim Howard is the only reason Sam’s Army was able to come away with a point. Landon Donovan was mostly neutralized by the English defense and he will have to find a way to be more of a factor against Slovenia and Algeria. Defensively, the US did a pretty good job of keeping Wayne Rooney from doing too much damage, so there is a really strong chance he unleashed more than a few of his patented profanity tirades.

HATE

- Is there a more annoying player to watch in crunch time than Paul Pierce? I’m guessing he is a huge fan of President Obama because all he does is plow to the hoop and beg for a bail out, flopping and whining all over the place. Toughen up, dude. He flops more than anyone in the World Cup. He’s like a black European player – maybe the love child of Manu Ginobili and Jay-Z. And he’s only a half step more annoying than the Kendrick Perkins scowl and stomp away after every foul…..which happens at least once a minute when Perkins is on the floor.

- The NBA Finals 2-3-2 scheduling makes less sense than why Lindsay Lohan somehow still scores tickets to things like the MTV Music Awards. How can you justify the team with home court advantage having to fight off elimination when they have won their home games? (yes, the Lakers lost a game in LA, but won a game in Boston to get the home court advantage back) What is the rationale behind the schedule? Limiting travel? These dudes are not flying coach. The Lakers beat writer is not going to be sitting next to Big Baby Davis (aka Shrek) on an American Airlines flight from LAX to Logan. And they give the teams 2-3 days off between games without travel days, so there is no reason to use the 2-3-2.

- Want to know what bothers me more than Vince Young being the prime suspect in an assault at a strip club in Nashville? The fact that they have to refer to him as a “two-time Pro Bowl” quarterback. The guy made the pro bowl last year playing less than half of his team’s games and threw 10 touchdowns and had 10 interceptions. Yet because 10 other AFC quarterbacks were supposedly injured or still playing (Peyton Manning), the guy whose throwing motion looks like Uncle Rico from Napoleon Dynamite made another Pro Bowl.

Computer Problems....so look at soccer chicks

Having Computer problems.....again. But should have something up later today or tonight about the debut of Stephen Strasburg and the Lakers huge win in Game 3 last night. In the meantime.....start getting prepared for the World Cup with these soccer fans..........

Week 5 Hangover - Love/Hate

Thankfully it was an awesome fall weekend in the Northeast, so it made up for the lack of really interesting football games. Good weekend to get outdoors, go to a game, spending time in Central Park or going to an apple orchard. Granted there were a couple of overtime NFL games, and the Florida-LSU game was close, but not exactly lighting up the scoreboard. So as always – hit up Peter King, Michael Silver or Mike Florio/Gregg Rosenthal for full summaries, these are my quick hit loves/hates.

LOVE

- The Broncos are officially real. After a strong comeback win against the Pats, I’m now not just a believer in the Broncos, but I’m a big fan of Josh McDaniels. His emotions after the game were awesome, and it was obvious that even though he respects his former mentor and team, he loved sticking it to them. And Vonnie Holliday is still playing and still effective!?!?! And Kyle Orton is 26-12 as a starting quarterback.

- Matt Ryan is showing he may belong among the discussion of the top 5 QBs in the league. And he may be ready to lead the Falcons to the promise land. He dismantled a good 49ers defense on the road and with the exception of his hiccup against the Pats has been dominant. If Atlanta can also run the ball effectively, they’re dangerous to the Giants, Saints and Vikings. Ryan is kind of like Matt Leinart – except the exact opposite. He’s focused on football, smart and mature.

- I respect Tony LaRussa’s success as a manager, but it was enjoyable to watch that jag-off get swept out of the playoffs.

- Not that anyone knew, or cared, but a big win for the US Soccer team over Honduras to qualify for the World Cup next year in South Africa. Not so much for the win, but the ridiculous political situation surrounding the game.

- Peyton Manning has practically wrapped up the MVP award way too early in the season. Over 300 yards every week, and this team is absolutely incredible. I don’t know what else to say about Herman Munster – the dude is on track to win his 4th MVP award.

HATE

- 1-2 on the college picks this week, so not a great start. Although that UW-OSU game was tough because Wisconsin actually physically dominated the Buckeyes, yet got their butts kicked. Pathetic. It was a hideous game to watch.

- Is there a more overrated QB in the country than Terrell Pryor? Yes, he’s an athete. No, he’s not a QB. He was 5-13 for 87 yards and rushed for 35 yards on 10 carries – and won. The only guy that’s close to being as overrated is that kid at Ole Miss: Jevon Snead. Talked about as being a challenger to Colt McCoy and Sam Bradford at the top of draft boards, he’ll now be lucky to get drafted in the 3rd round if he’s not smart enough to stay in school for his senior year. Snead has 9 TDs and 9 INTs with a completion percentage under 47%.

- The Browns-Bills game…….time to consider contracting those two teams. Wow – 6-3? Derek Anderson was 2-for-17, and he won the game! Maybe the Browns should draft Pryor, he seems like a perfect fit.

- Rough weekend for Boston sports. Red Sox collapse at home in the 9th to finish getting swept, and Pats blow a 17-7 lead and Brady loses in OT for the first time in his career. The Freedom Trail will be a trail of tears this week.

- The Raiders circus continues. Sure looks like Tom Cable is going to get arrested for assaulting his assistant coach. What a mess. Oh, and on the field they suck harder than Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian combined.

- Not sure if many people saw it, but in the 3rd quarter, while the 49ers were getting their lunch eaten by the Falcons, Dre Bly picked off a pass at his own 15 yard line and as he crossed his own 25 yard line, started to do a little Deion dance to celebrate his great play. The only problem? He was promptly caught from behind by Roddy White (who already had over 200 yards receiving by toasting Bly repeatedly), and stripped of the ball and the Falcons recovered. Mr. Bly, you sir, are an ass-clown.

- People get paid to do “research” like this? Unreal.