Tuesday Ramblings - Why Notre Dame Can't Win

So I missed in my Monday Hangover mentioning Notre Dame losing to Navy in South Bend on Saturday. It was another black eye for Charlie Weiss and the once proud program. The seat is once again getting very warm under the rather large posterior of the coach, who is becoming more prickly with each loss. But the question is whether Weiss is really at fault for the continued decline of the once proud and dominant program. Or is it possible that Weiss is facing headwinds that will keep the program from ever being able to push above that of a mid-tier Big Ten program?

I - Academics

It is a known fact that Notre Dame actually makes its student-athletes adhere to strict academic standards. Not only do they have stringent requirements to get accepted to the school, they make you attend class and get a degree. That obviously has a huge impact on recruiting and the ability to get the best athletes to don the golden dome helmet. Notre Dame has a graduation success rate of 95%, while Florida (68), Texas (50), USC (54) or LSU (54) were at or below the overall D-1 football average of 67%. What schools that are on par with Notre Dame? Stanford (93), Northwestern (92), Boston College (92) and Duke (92).

How can you honestly expect the Fighting Irish to be able to compete with schools that cater to kids that will leave school early, or would never qualify to attend strong academic schools? They can’t. So if Notre Dame insists on maintaining their academic integrity, they will not be able to attract these great athletes that have less intelligence than Megan Fox. The Notre Dame football players are not angels, but you don’t hear about guys like LeGarrette Blount (punching a Boise St player) or Brandon Spikes (eye gouging) or even JaMarcus Russell (lazy) at Notre Dame.

II – Recruiting Disadvantages

Notre Dame used to be the premiere football program in the entire country. Recruiting used to be as simple as, (a) Do you want to play for a national championship? (b) Do you want to be on national television every week? and (c) Have you seen Rudy and Touchdown Jesus? As long as you had the credentials, everyone wanted to play for Notre Dame. Things have changed tremendously, a big part of that is the continued explosion of 24 hour sports networks, and large television contracts with every major conference. That NBC contract used to be a primary recruiting tool to show high school kids that you’ll be seen on television which would increase your draft prospects. That is no longer the case as the Big Ten has its own network and a contract with ESPN, the SEC has a large contract with ESPN and CBS, and so on and so on. All of the games are on television and players will be found and will be covered if they have the talent to play in the pros. In addition, the increased draft coverage from the sports networks and the talking heads all over television and radio make sure that players from any school will be discovered.

The other large recruiting disadvantage that Notre Dame faces is the oldest adage in real estate: location, location, location. Notre Dame is in South Bend, Indiana. There is nothing in South Bend, Indiana other than Notre Dame. Now Gainesville, Florida is not a bustling metropolis but it definitely has a few things that Notre Dame cannot offer: sunshine, beaches, and talented co-eds. (not that there aren’t pretty girls at ND – I have friends with beautiful wives that went there, but let’s be serious overall). Charlie Weiss brings in a recruit during the off-season and reminds him to bring his boots and coat, while they trek through the snow to show him the campus. That same 18 year old kid then flies to Gainesville, and Coach Meyer reminds him to bring his flip flops and sunglasses while they walk among palm trees and talented girls to get to the swamp. He then flies to LA, and meets with Pete Carroll, also under palm trees, also with talented co-eds, and Pete tells the kid to make sure he gets to Hollywood Blvd or Malibu before he heads out of town. Do you really think that kid is going to choose Notre Dame over those options?

III – Surreal Expectations

Every preseason, the pundits talk about how Notre Dame is improved, and will be battling for a BCS bowl berth. Every recruiting class for Notre Dame is ranked high because it’s full of highly recruited high school players. But it’s a circular argument in that the kids are ranked high because Notre Dame is recruiting them, and Notre Dame’s recruiting class is ranked high because the kids are highly ranked. It’s a flaw with the entire ranking of recruiting classes everywhere. In any event, Notre Dame is expected to battle for a national championship and a BCS bowl every single year, which puts a tremendous amount of pressure on a team that does not have the same talent level as the top teams in the country.

In the past 10 years, Notre Dame has had 10 players drafted in the first two rounds of the NFL draft. Compare that to Wisconsin (11), Michigan State (7), Iowa (9) and Washington (7). Now look at the number of 1st or 2nd round draft picks in the past ten years at USC (32), Ohio State (25), Florida (20) and Texas (19). The talent disparity is obvious, yet Notre Dame is perennially expected to compete despite an uneven talent level.

The alumni and the media continue to push Notre Dame expectations way above where they realistically should be based on their talent. Notre Dame will never have a season that is a surprise on the upside; it will only have surprises to the downside. That is an impossible situation for any coach to face. And at Notre Dame, it happens every single season.

Overall, Notre Dame is a strong academic school that produces solid football teams and solid student-athletes. Yet that does not appease the alumni that demand a return to the excellence of the past. Unfortunately, the team is facing a very steep uphill battle in order to consistently battle for national championships again.

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Did you see the dive/fall/landing of Javid Best of California getting to the house against Oregon State? It was a nasty, nasty fall after going up over the top, and getting crushed while up there. Thankfully it sounds like he was released from the hospital and will be able to resume playing in a few weeks after the concussion.
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Oregon reinstated their RB, LeGarrette Blount that punched a Boise State player after their season opening loss. I think it makes sense, as the kid has missed more than half of his senior season, and if the coach, athletic director and conference believe that he has learned his lesson, then let him play. And if the team was only reinstating him because the team had a shot at the Rose Bowl, they would have brought him back for the USC game or before losing to Stanford.
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The Chiefs cut Larry Johnson yesterday to complete a dramatic fall from grace for the former NFL stud. Johnson and Shaun Alexander are the primary examples to prove the curse of 300+ carries in one season. However, Michael Turner appears to be busting through that this season and has been getting better as this season has went on.
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Oh, and are we surprised that the Allen Iverson experiment in Memphis didn’t work out? Now it looks like he’s going to retire because he can’t handle coming off the bench. After 3 games, he’s had enough. Just another example of what a selfish d-bag this guy has always been, despite how dynamic he could be on the court.

Tuesday Ramblings - Batman, Cowards, Liars, Etc.

Manu Ginobli knocks a bat out of mid-air on Halloween night during a basketball game. However, what’s more amazing than his bat hunting is his bald spot in the back of his head. Dude is 28 years old and has the bald spot of a 60 year old. I mean, my forehead is expanding as my hair runs away from my eye brows, but not nearly as rapidly as Manu’s bald spot is attacking his head. Combine that with his deteriorating knees and ankles and maybe he’s like a Cuban baseball player and is actually 45 years old.

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So Brandon Spikes gets suspended for the first HALF of the game this week against Vandy for his eye gouge against Georgia? What a cowardly move by Urban Meyer. While Urban is a good coach, he’s a pompous d-bag as a person. For him to stand up there and lie that “we take this very seriously” and follow it up with a half game suspension? It’s like George Costanza’s “Was that wrong?” after diddling the maid in his office.

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Chase Utley is having a World Series for the ages. Unfortunately, it’s likely to be forgotten if the Yankees end up closing out the series. People tend to forget amazing performances by losing teams/people. But the dude is raking fastballs out of the park this series, with 2 more in game 6 last night. The best example was 2002, when Barroid Bonds hit 4HR, 13BBs, 22 Total Bases, 8 Runs, .700 OBP, and a 1.294 Slugging % - all among the top ten all-time in a single World Series.

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Not sure we’ll get to the point of a Game 7, but I’d say that Cole Hamels has created quite a firestorm with his comment that he just wants the season to be over. If you’re the other guys in the locker room, can you feel good if he takes the mound in a decisive game for the championship? You bust your arse all season and fight your way back from a 3-1 deficit in the World Series and then this joker is going to be the pitcher to determine whether you get a ring? And the fact that Brett Myers had to talk to him about his comments (whether or not it was “confrontational”) proves that the team is concerned he’s not all in, like the rest of them. Hamels could be on the fast track to the pitching career of Rick Ankiel – fast start, followed by even faster decline. Can Hamels play the outfield? The rumors are that his wife Heidi (originally of Survivor and Playboy fame) made him focus more on making money and doing endorsements than on improving as a pitcher. Then again, if the Yankees win in game 6, no one will remember that Hamels wanted to be a quitter.

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The Browns fired their GM, George Kokinis yesterday. Kind of like putting a band-aid on a bullet wound. The question is whether it was a warning shot to Mangini or if it was Mangini throwing Kokinis under the bus? They have the 34th ranked QB in the league (there are only 32 teams), an old RB that already said he’s retiring after this season because he can’t take it anymore, and they traded their #1 WR after he got in a fight at a night club. They have the worst prospects for a turnaround than any team other than maybe the Raiders.

Now the fans are threatening to boycott the team and the owner has offered to meet with those fans that organized the boycott. Can you imagine how that conversation is going to go?

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Could the Oakland situation with Tom Cable get any worse? So far on Cable’s hit list…..a wife, a couple girlfriends and an assistant coach (allegedly). What’s next? And of course, when asked about it, he denied it. Until the police report was shown to him, then he suddenly remembered it, and remembered details including that it was an open hand. What a liar and a loser. I’m sure he feels like Roger Clemens and all these women must “mis-remember” what actually happened.

At least the Raiders used a big word in their statement about the situation to try and prove they aren’t idiots. “For reasons of privacy, we kept the basis for those dismissals confidential. We endured public OPPROBRIUM for the dismissals, all the while knowing our basis for them was appropriate.” What? I guess it means public disgrace or ill fame. And if that’s the case, the entire Raiders situation is an opprobrium.

Degenerate Friday!! Week 5

Wow – Matt Holliday cannot feel good about himself – going from hero to zero all in one game. The guy hits a HR in the playoff game but then boots a liner with 2 outs in the ninth that leads to the Dodgers putting the Cards on the brink of elimination. While the drop didn’t technically cost the Cards the game, as Ryan Franklin gave up the two hits that tied and won the game (to Mark Loretta!?!?!), the game would have been over if he makes the catch. Last team in NL history to come back from 0-2 in a five-game series? The Padres in 1984 against the Cubs – the Leon Durham play - but at least we now know what happened. Just another example of the Cubs….....being the Cubs. (Am I taunting the Cubs fans? Yes, most definitely)

I hope the Phillies playoff games don’t take place on a Monday night, otherwise they might be short-handed since I’m pretty sure Jayson Werth is actually one of the Hardy Boys from the WWE. And let’s stop being surprised by Cole Hammels getting smacked around. After a great post season last year, the guy was 10-11 with an ERA over 4 this season. And he was terrible in day games this year, without a win and an ERA over 6. So why would Charlie Manuel start him in a day game? And why would we be surprised that he got smacked around?


New this week - a quick hit of 3 college games:
Alabama (-5) at Ole Miss
LSU (+7.5) vs. Florida
Wisconsin (+16) at Ohio State

Overall, week 5 is full of mismatched games, large point spreads, and only 3 of the 14 games have both teams with records of at least .500. Six of the games have spreads of more than a touchdown. I guess it is a result of the four teams with byes all having 2-2, 3-1 or 4-0 records (SD, GB, Chicago & New Orleans). This week the games are separated by a few Seinfeld episodes. There’s no way to do the show justice by only choosing 4 episodes, so I just chose 4 that are among my favorites, or at least have my favorite moments. I’m leaving out The Chinese Restaurant (Cartwright!), The Parking Garage, The Puffy Shirt (Well, I don’t wanna be a pirate!), The Cigar Store Indian, The Chinese Woman, The Secretary (Was that wrong? Because if anyone would have told me that was wrong….), The Soup Nazi, The Little Jerry and numerous great episodes involving Puddy – “Feels like an Arby’s night.” But that’s just the way it goes.

Last week was a vast improvement with an 8-6 record, however I lost the last 3 games, meaning I was sitting at 8-3 with the potential for a huge week until the Cowboys, Chargers and Packers all dropped a deuce in their pants. After a quarter of the season, there is a pretty clear distinction between the haves and the have-nots, leading to all the big spreads. While that would typically lead me to taking value with many of the underdogs, too many of these teams are just terrible and will continue to get blown out.


On to the picks......standard disclaimers (recreation, home team in CAPs, etc.)

“The Chicken Roaster” (Season 8, episode #142)
The episode where Jerry switches apartments with Kramer and the glow from the restaurant causes Jerry to start acting like Kramer. It is also the episode where George uses Elaine’s expense account to buy the ridiculous Russian hat. This show spawned the phrase “That’s not going to be good for anyone.” And that might be the most appropriate phrase for many of the teams in these games involving some good and some desperate teams. Another loss for the desperate teams and it might be lights out.

CARDINALS (-5.5) over Texans
The Mount Rushmore of old people still hanging on in sports includes Bobby Bowden, Joe Paterno and Kurt Warner. The rest has to be good for the creaky QB to hopefully get more in tune with his powerful receiving corps. Texans have been a terrible tease and are potentially the football equivalent of Kristin Cavallari from the Hills: Looks great, but there are some tremendous flaws (she's a money/attention whore, the Texans defense) that cause you to be very fearful of having money around them.

Jaguars (-3) over SEAHAWKS
I’m not necessarily buying into the Jags as much as I’m very down on Seattle. Even if Hasselbeck plays, their offensive line is banged up, so there is a good chance he gets knocked right back to the sideline. Another productive day for Team Hyphen!!

Colts (-3.5) over TITANS
This could be the week the Colts are due for a loss and the Titans are due to finally get a win, right? Wrong. Peyton continues his march to the MVP with another game over 300 yards passing against the pathetic Titans pass defense. Quoting the Seinfeld episode, if Jeff Fisher is asked, “Oh….I’m stressed” with the Kramer arm motion. After this week, it’s officially time for the Vince Young experience to play out the rest of the season.

Jets (-1.5) over DOLPHINS
While Miami got a nice win last week against a bad Bills team to get the Chad Henne Era off to a good start, the bottom line is that they are not very good. The Jets defense will cause fits for Henne, and Mark Sanchez will break out his new toy, Braylon Edwards against the struggling Dolphin defense. I look for a rebound after the struggles against the Saints, with a potentially safe game plan to rebuild his confidence. Last week they threw on multiple 3rd and 1 plays in the second half, and they won’t make that mistake again. And the most important addition to the Jets this week isn't Braylon Edwards, it's Calvin Pace - returning from a 4 game suspension to add even more weapons to Rex's defense.

“The Fire” (Season 5, episode 84)
This is the episode where Kramer’s girlfriend heckles Jerry during his comedy show, and George is dating the woman with a kid. When a fire breaks out at the kid’s birthday party, George plows over the kids, an old lady and the clown (played by Jon Favreau) to escape. The overall episode has its moments, but the show has my favorite Kramer scene of all time when he tells the story of saving Toby’s toe. The following games involve one team that is basically on fire – and not in the positive streaking fashion. More like fell-asleep-on-the-couch-with-a-lit-cigarette-and-now-the-trailer-is-on-fire kind of problem.


EAGLES (-14.5) over Buccaneers
Coming off a bye week, with McNabb returning and feeling the pressure of Kolb having played well in his absence, the Eagles will roll. The Bucs and Rams both have the potential to go 0-16 this year and will likely not put up more than 10 points against the rested Eagles defense, which allows for an easy cover. Andy Reid has a very strong record coming off of byes historically, and historically they have had to play better teams than this Tampa team (anyone but the 2008 Lions & 2009 Rams would be better)

Steelers (-10.5) over LIONS
Pittsburgh appears to have righted the ship last week, despite letting the Chargers back in late. Their running game will appear to be repaired against the Lions whether or not it actually is. The Lions are making progress without winning any games, but now face the possibility that Daunte Culpepper will have to start for Matt Stafford at QB. If it were 1999, this would be a major upgrade, and we’d all be talking about the Blair Witch Project. Unfortunately, it’s 10 years later, but the outcome is just as scary for the Lions.

Cowboys (-9) over CHIEFS
At some point, Romo Pyle has to be able to take advantage of some bad teams. And he needs to remember that his best weapon is Jason Witten. This could be the week against a bad Chiefs team. Still doesn’t change the fact that Wade Phillips will not be back next year.

RAIDERS (-15.5) over Giants
The Giants have been gambling gold this season and the Raiders are a mess. But with Eli’s gimpy foot, the G-men will play it conservative and while they will still win comfortably, they won’t cover the more than two TD spread. This could be an extremely slow and boring game to watch with the Giants grinding it out on the ground and the Raiders offense beyond inept. Would you feel more confident with David Carr or Fats Russell as your QB? Sadly, I think I might go with Carr.

Vikings (-9.5) over RAMS (LOCK OF THE WEEK)
The Rams have already been shut out twice, and it’s likely to be a third time against the tough Vikings defense. Minnesota will only need 2 TDs to practically guarantee a cover in this game, and Peterson will look forward to a cupcake defense after being held under 100 yards last week.

“The Serenity Now” (Season 9, episode 159)
Get stuck watching either of these games and you will be yelling for “Serenity Now!” These teams stink, these games stink. This episode also has Frank Costanza having a computer selling contest between George and Lloyd Braun which was based on Glengarry Glenn Ross. It also is the episode where Kramer installs a screen door on his apartment and gets tortured by the neighborhood kids. And of course, the catch phrase that Frank was supposed to say to keep his blood pressure from rising, yet he yelled “Serenity Now!” instead.

Browns (+6) over Bills
Who cares? David Puddy was the best recurring character in Seinfeld. From his Magic 8-Ball Jacket, to his work as a used car salesman, his penchant for Arby’s, or his on-and-off relationship with Elaine, he is pure entertainment gold. My personal favorite David Puddy episode is the face-painting for the NJ Devils hockey games.

PANTHERS (-3) over Redskins
I think by now, Jim Zorn isn’t even feeling pressure about his job. He knows he’s getting fired. So wouldn’t it be fun if he just decided to play the game like he was playing Madden? Go for every fourth down, blitz on every play, and call the same plays over and over if they’re working. What does he have to lose? I’m all for it.

“The Marine Biologist” (Season 5, episode 78)
My favorite episode of all time. Jerry tells Elaine War and Peace was originally named War, What is It Good For? and Elaine tells the Russian author Testikov that story while the electronic organizer Kramer gave her starts beeping. And the best part of the episode at the end when George tells the story of saving the beached whale – leading off with “The sea was angry that day, my friends...” We’re now into the best matchups of the week, where the teams are both fighting angry to get in better positions for playoff spots – like an old man trying to take back soup at a deli.


Bengals (+8.5) over RAVENS
Seems like a lot of points to give to a plucky team in the Bengals that has shown they have the ability to win close games. The Ravens will be angry after a tough loss to the Pats, but the Bengals defense is vastly improved and Carson Palmer has the ability to be successful against the Ravens defense. It's just too many points in a divisional game between teams with winning records. LATE ADD: Over the past 4 years, the Bengals aer 5-3 against the Ravens, and only once lost by more than 7. And now they're getting 8.5 points when they're better than they've been in recent seasons?

Falcons (+2.5) over 49ERS
Both teams are coming off of a bye last week, the Falcons didn’t play anyone and the 49ers walloped the St. Louis Byes. The Niners are very good, and actually resemble the Falcons from last year. So the Falcons are a year further along than SF and I expect Matt Ryan to have a big bounce back after struggling against the Pats before the bye – and perhaps after the game he can smack some Titleists into the Bay.

Patriots (-3.5) over BRONCOS
I’m picking all three road teams in the most competitive games…..which makes me a little nervous. Does the protégé in Josh McDaniels have an advantage against the master Bill Belichick? He does know where the bodies are buried, and knows all the check-downs, etc. However, he does not have Tom Brady, who appears to be getting better each week. McDaniels has Kyle Orton, and while I like his ability to pound Jack Daniels and crush chicks, he is not Tom Brady. Orton is a solid QB who generally prefers to take his chances off the field, and combined with the Broncos defense, they have the ability to stay in this game. However, at the end of the day, the Pats are the better team and will pull away.

Coaching Past the Expiration Date

I am no fan of Florida State football and definitely not a fan of Bobby Bowden, but the current situation is a complete mess and cannot end well for either side. I mean, we’re talking “Britney Spears marrying that Jason Alexander in Vegas” or “the Atlanta Falcons hiring Bobby Petrino” or “letting Rex Ryan and Andy Reid into an all-you-can-eat buffet” type of disasters.

There is no doubt in my mind that the time has come, well it actually came more than a few years ago, for Bobby to hang it up. His teams have slipped noticeably since 2001, and are now a far cry from the 90s, when Florida State was guaranteed to be in the top 10 and the tomahawk chop was always in a top bowl game. Unfortunately, Bobby’s enormous ego has gotten the best of him, and continues to hang around trying to make sure he tops the other past-his-time old foggie – Joe Paterno – for the all-time wins record. But for that tool from the Board of Trustees to come out with a statement about what Bobby will do was also a stupid move. The guy built FSU into a top-tier program, and even though he has now rode it down to mediocrity, he deserves to go out by being celebrated with class. And if that turd of a trustee really cared about FSU football, he would understand that causing controversy is going to do nothing but hurt the school’s image and destroy recruiting, which guarantees a longer time before the program is relevant.

Bowden started coaching FSU in 1976, and had them in back-to-back Orange Bowls in 1979 and 1980. He then did not lose more than 2 games in a season between 1987 and 2000. Unfortunately, since then, he has lost at least 3 games every season, including 7-6 records in 2007 & 2008. The only positive thing to come out of FSU in the past 9 years has been that fan girl – Jen Sterger.

Speaking of Joe Pa, what are the odds that he retires before he dies? I know it’s a morbid thought, but that crazy old dude is never going to leave. I understand the concept that he has “earned the right” to step down when he wants to, but doesn’t he have any trusted advisors that can give him a sense of reality? He is completely a figure-head, and is not really doing any coaching or recruiting for the team. The only value he is bringing is pity (like when he broke his leg on the sideline) and unintentional comedy (like when a reporter asked him if he wanted the field named after him and he responded with “I don’t think much about being dead.”).

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I think the Braylon Edwards trade has a chance to be a great one for the Jets & for Edwards himself. However I think the Jets should take some precautions to enhance the likelihood of success. Edwards has always been accused of being easily distracted and not focused on being a football player, rather choosing to pay attention to being a star. And obviously, moving to New York could be throwing gasoline on that fire. So I think the Jets should force him to live in New Jersey and ban him from coming into the city. Living in Jersey, he’ll be forced to focus on football, because unless he’s going to be distracted by white cars with dark tinted windows and big rims, big-haired women or cement-gelled hair on dudes, he will have nothing but football to focus on.

The guy is a big-time football talent – a big WR with the speed to get downfield and go up over DBs. He provides a great security blanket for Mark Sanchez, and in the new disciplined environment of Rex Ryan, Edwards could thrive. We’ll see how it actually plays out, but I think the Jets got one last kick of Eric Mangini.

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One final note…..on Deion Sanders, arguably the best player to ever come out of Florida State. What is this guy doing? He has ties to Michael Crabtree’s agent, and is at the heart of the 49ers tampering charges against the Jets. And he was the reason Dez White (one of the best WR in college) of Oklahoma State just lost his eligibility to play college football. Oh, and Deion is employed by the NFL Network, so he’s an employee of the league. Deion, what are you doing? I know you think you’re a businessman, trying a reality TV show, rapping and selling a hot dog cooker……but maybe you should just stick to talking about football in a studio and stay away from college players.

(The quality of the video is terrible, but it seems to be the only one out there).