Another Reason to Hate Philly: Cheaters

As anyone who reads this site regularly knows, I loathe Philadelphia. I dislike the city, the teams and the fans. It is the worst city I have ever been to in my life, and I’ve been to Winnipeg, Manitoba, Toledo, Ohio and Ashwaubenon, Wisconsin among other horrendous places. Their fans are the loudest, most obnoxious and ill-informed inbreeds in the universe. There is even a website dedicated to the city and its teams sucking. Well we can now add a few more reasons why we dislike them, courtesy of the Cheatin’ Phillies and the idiocy of Bud Selig giving them an unfair edge.

The Phillies are stealing signs, and have been accused by the Rockies, Mets and Red Sox which lead to baseball giving them a warning. Where is the outrage from the national media? Where are the claims that the Phillies back-to-back NL pennants and World Series championship two years ago are now tainted and should have an asterisk next to them? Where is the moronic congressman calling for MLB to take away their trophies? Because when the Patriots were accused of spying on teams and stealing their signs, blowhards like Arlen Specter wasted tax payer money on pushing the NFL to investigate. Let me get this straight, in baseball it’s okay to steal signs but not to use steroids. In the NFL, it’s okay to use steroids but not okay to steal signs. Got it. That makes about as much sense as putting Katherine Heigl and Ashton Kutcher in a movie and then wondering why it bombs.

There are those who believe stealing signs is a part of baseball, however there is a big difference between watching a base coach for clues and having your bullpen coach using binoculars and calling the dugout phone to relay the signals. That is flat out, blatant misuse of the phone and using binoculars. The Phillies should face a huge fine and draft sanctions. There is no way to defend what they did. Absolutely none. It is CHEATING. While I did not ever root for the Phillies in the past, I used to respect them as a talented team that played hard. That respect took a major hit with these accusations.

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In addition to that advantage that the Phillies are getting by cheating, they are being given an unfair advantage by the league Commissioner. The Phillies are supposed to play an interleague series in Toronto during the same dates that the G20 summit is taking place in Toronto. The city of Toronto wants to move the baseball games due to concerns for security and traffic in the city. First, when was the G20 scheduled? I have to believe it has been planned for quite a while, so why did baseball schedule a series in town in the first place? That’s a minor brain fart. The bigger problem is the solution from MLB: to move the games to Philadelphia. Not only is it punishment for the Blue Jays to have to spend extra time in that horrific city, but the Phillies will now play 84 home games compared to 81 for every other team in baseball. And for a team playing in a division race that could come down to the wire against the Marlins, Mets, Nationals (yes, they could be for real) or Braves, those extra home games could be a difference maker.

Why wouldn’t Bud Selig move the game to a neutral site? Buffalo? Or New York? Or Baltimore? Or Detroit? MLB has used other team stadiums for neutral site games in the past – the Cubs and Astros played at Miller Park in Milwaukee as a result of Hurricane Ike in 2008.

The Phillies are talented enough to win without the help of the Commissioner or cheating, so it’s really just more reasons to hate the already easily hated franchise/city/fans.

Tuesday Ramblings - Things That Confuse Me

I’m thoroughly confused by many things in life: carnival workers, the game of cricket, clowns, solving the Rubix Cube, the appeal of Lady Gaga, and people walking down the street that just stop abruptly in the middle of the sidewalk to talk on their cell phones or stare in store windows. I can now add to a few more things to that list: Phillies trades, Jake Locker & Roy Williams.

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It is now being confirmed that it is two separate trades by the Phillies, the first sending their top prospects (the ones they wouldn’t trade in July) to the Blue Jays for pitcher Roy Halladay. The second is then trading pitcher Cliff Lee to the Mariners for prospects. Why would they make those deals? Why would they not keep Lee and lock themselves in as the favorite to win it all next season. Can you picture a rotation of Halladay, Lee, Cole Hammels, JA Happ, Joe Blanton and Pedro Martinez on the ready if there are any injuries halfway through the season? That would be as good as any rotation since the Braves of the mid-1990’s.

I get that they will have Halladay sign a contract extension and Lee wanted to test the free agent market after the season. I get that Halladay has been a little better than Lee in the regular season during their careers. But we know that Lee is a stud in the playoffs. We don’t know how Halladay is in the playoffs because he’s never been there. I just don’t get it. Yet, as a Brewers fan, I’m glad they screwed up their team. Thank you, Ruben Amaro Jr.

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North Carolina men’s basketball coach Roy Williams is a great coach and despite bearing a strange resemblance to Droopy the cartoon dog, he has a great reputation as being a great person. Yet at a recent game he had a fan removed from the Dean Dome during a game against Presbyterian for yelling “Don’t miss it Deon!” during a free-throw. First, Prebyterian? It’s a school of 1200 students and 84 professors on 240 acres in Clinton, South Carolina. They are 2-8, only having beaten Montreat and Southern – and yes, Montreat. That was not a misprint.

But more important, really Roy? Your players can’t handle a little ribbing – ribbing that was not crass, profane or offensive? I mean, maybe I’m biased because of a little story from back in college. It’s Camp Randall Stadium in Madison, 1999, and Nick Saban’s 11th ranked Michigan State Spartans are coming to town boasting one of the best run defenses in the country. We had a tradition of missing the first minutes of the game because we were, ummmm, “fueling our energy” for the team. Unfortunately, on our way to the stadium, we miss Ron Dayne bust off a 51 yard touchdown on the 4th play of the game. But we didn’t miss a chance to let Michigan State know about it as we were walking behind their bench on the way to our seats. We were calling out players by their numbers, reminding them that they’re going to see those plays all day, and that Dayne is going to do things to their girlfriends after the game. To top it all off, Diggity decides to call out an enormous defensive lineman, and when the player turns to look, Diggity busts out his best Hulk Hogan flex and tells him he can’t handle us. Needless to say the security guards came over and hustled us along to our seats. And by the way, MSU couldn’t handle him, as he rumbled to 214 yards in a 40-10 Wisconsin victory. Oh, and after that game, Camp Randall changed their policy and you had to enter the stadium closest to your seats. Coincidence? Maybe.

That may have just been an excuse to tell that story, but the point is that college kids get fueled up with booze and will taunt the other team. That’s part of the experience. So if your team can’t handle a little taunting from a Presbyterian fan, how are they going to react to the Cameron Crazies when they play Duke? I don’t get it.

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Quarterback Jake Locker has decided to return to the University of Washington for his senior season. Why? He was going to be a first round pick, and Todd McShay of ESPN has him penciled in as the first pick in the draft. So what is the benefit of staying in school? I get the whole education thing and they like being college kids – who doesn’t? I mean, the parties, the co-eds, being the big man on campus, the co-eds. It’s all amazing. But you have a chance to get $40+ million in guaranteed money. Did you not see what happened to Sam Bradford? He would have been in the mix for the top pick last year, and now he’s an injury concern and may fall to the middle or late end of round one. I don’t get it.

Week 8 Hangover - Love/Hate

LOVE

- Tip of the cap to Brett Favre. He played great, and is focused, controlled and not turning the ball over. The Vikings have a ton of weapons (memo to GB’s special teams coach: pack up your office. You’re fired. You couldn’t figure out how to keep the ball out of Percy Harvin’s hands?), and thoroughly dominated the game. And watching the game with Sal, I did correctly predict that there would be some waterworks from Brett in the post game interview on the field. Has to keep up that country bumpkin persona off the field.

- What a performance by Johnny Damon in the 9th inning last night. First the great at bat, fighting off pitches before slapping a single to left. Then a very risky move to steal second, and the intelligence to know he could outrun Pedro Feliz to 3rd base (Feliz was covering 2nd on a defensive shift). The runner on 3rd didn’t allow Brad Lidge to throw his best pitch – his slider – for fear of a wild pitch which would have scored Damon. Instead he has to go fastball, and A-Rod laces it to left. Say good night Phillies. Especially since your potential game 7 starter told reporters after he got shelled in game 3 that he couldn’t wait for the season to be over. Not exactly the eye of the tiger from Cole Hamels. And since no one wants to see a picture of Johnny Damon, here’s a picture of his wife.

- In addition to the Wildcat offense, maybe the Dolphins should find a way for Chad Henne to kick the ball to Ted Ginn when he’s lined up as a WR. He can catch a kick off, but he can’t catch a pass. And he can definitely run – 2 kickoff returns for TDs, 100 and 101 yards. Is it really vindication for getting benched for dropping passes to return kicks successfully? No one ever questioned his return ability. He still can’t catch a pass.

- Are we going to rev up the Vince Young hype machine now that the Texans finally won a game? He was able to move around in the pocket and keep plays alive, but he only had 125 yards on 15 completions. And Chris Johnson ran for 1,000 yards against the Jags. But they won the game, so I guess that’s what matters.

- The clubhouse leader for NBA rookie of the year after two games is Brandon Jennings of the Milwaukee Bucks. Given, it’s only 2 games, so there is a ton of time for him to come back to reality. But the dude looks like a legit stud. Dropping 20.5 ppg, 6 assists and 5 boards to start the season, and he almost put up a triple double in his first game. He’s a high-energy guy, and looks like he’s having fun. I’ve got the DVR set up to record the Bucks-Bulls game on Tuesday night

HATE

- Winners of the Paper Tiger Awards: Giants and Jets. The Giants look bad, and it’s possible that Eli Manning’s foot is worse than anyone knows and is the reason he’s sailing the ball long and turning it over like he’s back in his rookie year. The Jets lost because they couldn’t stop Ted Ginn on kick off returns, and the Dolphins defense returned a fumble for a TD. So Jets, after losing for the second time to the ‘Phins, time to give them some credit, right? Not for Calvin Pace, who continues to talk trash while playing for a 4-4 team that is 1-4 in their last five games. Time to shut up and win some games, fellas.

- Anyone notice Oregon is strangely making their way to the Rose Bowl? After eating USC’s lunch on Saturday night, they’re one of the most dangerous 1-loss teams in the country. And all anyone knows about them is they got embarrassed in the season opener by Boise State, their RB punched a dude after the game and their coach send a disgruntled fan a personal check refunding him for the tickets he bought to see them play bad. Oh, and they have the most ridiculous uniforms ever. Yet they slapped around mighty USC, and will be the Pac-10 rep in the Rose Bowl.

- Can we please stop talking about Iowa being in the hunt for the national championship? They are undefeated, but they stink. Had they been playing anyone other than a putrid Indiana team, they would have lost this week. Ricky Stanzi, quite possibly the best QB in the Big Ten by default, threw 5 interceptions in the game – 4 of them in the 3rd quarter alone – and they still managed to win by double digits. They are threatening to really mess with the BCS is they end up unbeaten.

- Well I figured one of the QBs in the Cardinals-Panthers game was going to be a turnover machine. I just didn’t figure it would be Kurt Warner, not Jake Delhomme. Warner had 4 INTs and a fumble, allowing the Panthers to keep themselves on the skirts of the playoff hunt.

- Brandon Spikes of Florida should be suspended for the rest of the season. He is a classless ass-clown. An obvious eye-gouging of the Georgia RB from a guy that is supposed to be the best linebacker in college? Did he think that he was suddenly a pro wrestler? And they were comfortably handling Georgia and the RB was a nobody, so what was he possibly thinking?


- I’m not one for Sci-Fi movies or television shows to begin with, but what is Bailey from Party of Five doing on that overhyped “V” show on ABC?

Tuesday Ramblings - World Series - Philadelphia, NJ

Interesting take here from Gary D Howard on how to handle Brett Favre’s return to Lambeau this Sunday. I think I agree with him. As much of a d-bag as Favre was as a person on his way out of town, he was the single legend that returned respectability to the team, the franchise, the city and the state for football. He’s the reason Reggie White came to town. So I think he deserves the pre-game cheer when he runs out on to the field. But that’s where it ends, and once the ball is kicked, I’m cheering with all my might for him to be the overly-excited turnover machine he has been in the past.

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So Mark McGwire is going to be a hitting coach? Isn’t that kind of like asking a girl with a boob job to explain a push-up bra? I think this is another case of the arrogance of Tony LaRussa taking over. He is trying to get people to see McGwire as a baseball guy and eventually get him into the Hall of Fame, instead of only remembering his pathetic performance in front of Congress about using steroids – “I’m not here to talk about the past.” The guy is a career .263 hitter, and only hit over .300 twice in full seasons during his 16 year career. And that guy is going to teach guys how to hit? What is he going to teach Albert Pujols? Ridiculous.

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Could ESPN have a more biased team of analysts for the baseball season? Jayson Stark, Peter Pascarelli, Eric Karabell, and John Kruk are such homers for the Phillies, they can’t actually make sane assessments of the matchup between Philly and the Yankees. Stark just hesitated comparing Jorge Posada and Carlos Ruiz. Don’t get me wrong, Ruiz has a knack for coming up with huge hits and might be the Darrell Porter of the past few season, but he is not on the same level as Posada. And I think Posada is a whiny diva biyatch. Kruk claimed that the Phillies line-up was more potent than the Yankees. Really? Better than the Yankees lineup that had 7 guys with more than 20 HRs, all 9 starters with double digits in HRs, the second-highest batting average in baseball, 244 HRs as a team (more than the NL leading 224 the Phils hit), and the highest OBP in the league. It’s not even close, and Kruk showed he must have had his brains in his mullet during the 90’s and when he cut it off to do television analysis, he lost his mind.

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How are you feeling if you’re a Cleveland Indians fan right now? Watching your two former aces facing off in game 1 – CC Sabbathia vs. Cliff Lee. Ouch. Doesn’t seem like that long ago the Indians had a team that looked ready to compete for some time with Grady Sizemore, Jhonny Peralta, Victor Martinez, CC & Lee. Maybe they’re the new Montreal Expos – Pedro Martinez, Delino DeShields, Marquis Grissom, Larry Walker, Moises Alou, Cliff Floyd, Sean Berry, Mel Rojas, Dennis Martinez, Ken Hill, and John Wetteland

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Taking the Yankees in 6 games. Too much Yankee offense, and despite the fact that the Phillies bullpen was good in the NLCS, they are not good. The Phillies are relying on Pedro to keep his magic going and Cole Hammels to not be as awful as he has been during the regular and post season. That’s too many holes to allow a team like the Yankees to exploit. The Phillies were the best team in the NL all season, and deserve to be in the World Series, but they don’t have the talent to keep up.

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So the teams will have a something like 17 off-days during the post-season, after only having 20 off-days during the entire 6-month regular season. That’s a dumb schedule.

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Philly is my most hated city in the entire US. The city is dirty, ugly and not good to visit or spend any time in. And the people are all chubby, greasy, angry, fair-weather fans, and all have a chip on their shoulder. I understand that it’s not fun being the biggest city in New Jersey – I’d be angry too if that was my claim to fame. Oh, wait, their claim to fame is a fake movie about a 5’5” boxer named Rocky. So their baseball success has just made their fans even more insufferable. I hope they get swept just to shut up their fans. As a good friend says, “Philly is a good place to take a dump on your way to a real city.”

EDITOR’S NOTE: I know Philly is not actually in Jersey, but it might as well be – it’s surrounded by Jersey, the people are the same as the worst in Jersey and it smells like the worst of Jersey.

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I think the NBA season starts tonight. I think I’ll put together a season preview piece as soon as the players start to play hard and make an effort. So look for that piece to come out around New Year’s. The biggest stories for the season are what LeBron James and Dwayne Wade are going to do NEXT year, and all the teams that are tanking it to make cap room to try and sign one of those guys.

Oh, and Blake Griffin gets a hairline fracture in his knee 2 days before he’s supposed to make his regular season debut. And he looked extremely impressive and had the potential to keep the Clippers in the playoff hunt. Typical Clippers luck.

And I’m pretty sure that Kevin Durant is the new Dominique Wilkins. A dynamic player that everyone talks about as being under the radar, but he’s under the radar because he doesn’t have the ability to raise the level of play for those around him. Someone has to take shots and score on that pathetic team. Maybe a combination of Wilkins and Shareef Abdur-Rahim.

Tuesday Ramblings - Worst Coach in the NFL?

Wow, so yesterday was among the better sports viewing days in recent memory. We get two walk-offs in baseball and a solid comeback to stay unbeaten in the NFL. Can you remember another day that had that many dramatic finishes in games of serious consequences?

The Angels got right back in the series, but need to continue their roll against CC tonight. The Phillies put their foot on the Dodger’s throats by taking out their vaunted bullpen. And while Josh McDaniels didn’t repeat the fist-pumping victory celebration, might the Broncos actually be a Super Bowl contender!?!
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Why is the NY media jumping on Joe Girardi so hard for changing pitchers last night? Yes, the move didn’t work out, but he had logic behind the move. He went to a guy that doesn’t rely on his fastball and uses curves and off-speed pitches to get guys out against a hitter that doesn’t hit curves and off-speed pitches well. So it didn’t work out. But his decision made sense before the hit. If he would have left Robertson in the game and he would have given up the hit, Girardi would have been roasted more than Grady Little. So it was basically a no-win situation. And these are the same idiotic fans/media that said Torre stayed with guys too long and didn’t do enough. Guys like Mike Vaccaro of the NY Post seem to think they have more baseball knowledge than a guy like Joe Girardi. Vaccaro would be better suited to tell the story of the game and not ramble on about strategy like some drunken Vinny from Queens.
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Who is the worst coach in the NFL? There are some really poor teams, but who are the worst head coaches? Not just a bad record can contribute to who is the worst coach, and it says something about the sorry state of coaches when a guy like Eric Mangini, hated by his own players, doesn’t even crack the top (bottom?) 5 worst coaches. Here’s my list……….

1. Jim Zorn – almost doesn’t qualify because it is the worst kept secret in the world that he’s getting fired. They’re basically treating him like Milton in Office Space – having him move his desk to the basement, and taking away his Swingline stapler. The guy was woefully under qualified for the position in the first place. Adding a “consultant” that then takes over play-calling within 2 weeks is a precursor to “Your Ass is Getting Canned” as soon as they decide who can be the interim coach.

2. Norv Turner – Mr. Roper has always done less with more. He has a pro bowl QB, a hall of fame RB, a pro bowl returner/backup RB, 2 pro bowl LBs and a pro bowl CB. Yet his teams start every year with a losing record by week 7 and scramble to get to the playoffs, where they will fizzle and become a disappointment. This is his third head coaching job, and he has been awful at all of them – career record of 79-98-1. And he was 58-82-1 when he got the job in San Diego – what did they expect?

3. Wade Phillips – The Son of Bum is a bum. Similar to Norv Roper, this guy always flops when it matters or when he has talent. Also in his 3rd head coaching stint, he does have an overall winning record of 73-51, but he has NEVER won a playoff game in 8 full seasons as the head coach, with an 0-4 record. Pathetic.

4. Tom Cable – Similar to Zorn, he was sadly under qualified for the position. But then again, someone had to say yes to Al Davis. However, someone didn’t have to (allegedly) do something to an assistant coach that resulted in the assistant coach having a broken jaw. Also similar to Zorn, he’s working in a terrible situation with an owner that is his own worst enemy and doesn’t know it.

5. Dick Jauron – We know Jauron is a smart guy – he has the Ivy league degree from Princeton to prove it. But that does not make him a good head coach. I’m not sure how he ever got the job in Buffalo. He has a career record of 59-80, and was 35-45 in 4 years in Chicago and 1-4 in relief in Detroit prior to the Bills job. In his 10 seasons as a head coach, his teams have only ranked higher than 23rd in the league in points once. And only once higher than 23rd in yards, and that was his first year in Chicago in 1999. So why are we surprised that the Bills offense is awful this year and they don’t know how to use Terrell Owens?

Honorable Mention:
Eric Mangini – flamed out in NY, and somehow got another gig immediately with Cleveland and managed to alienate his team and fan base before the half way point of the season. Think he’s jealous of the way Josh McDaniels is performing?

Raheem Morris – compared to Mike Tomlin when he got the job, he has a serious lack of talent on the Bucs, so he gets a short-term pass.

Todd Haley – has the youngest team in the league with the Chiefs, so he also gets a pass.

Not on the list of worst coaches but will be fired this year or this off season:
John Fox, Jeff Fisher, Gary Kubiak and Jack Del Rio (though his owner’s struggles with ticket sales and tight wallet might save his job)

ALCS & NLCS Previews

Before getting to the baseball playoffs, a moment of silence for Captain Lou Albano, who passed away yesterday. In addition to being an actual wrestler back in the day, he became more famous for the Hawaian shirts, crazy hair and rubber bands in his beard. And who can forget that he played the father in Cyndi Lauper's "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" video? Takes me back to when wrestling seemed like a mainstream sport when I was growing up. Watching some of the greats from the 80's and 90's, before Vince McMahon made it into all about too much violence and production and less about the wrestling.

ALCS – Angles at Yankees

So the easy pick in this series is to take the Yankees. They have the big payroll, they steamrolled the Twins, have the big name pitching, solid bullpen, home field advantage, and are the favorites to win the World Series. But let’s not dismiss this Angels team so fast (like I did in the first round, picking the Sox to knock them out in 4 games). Let’s break this down John Madden-style………

“Now there’s a team that’s better than the Twins. See, they won more games than the Twins, and even though Brett Favre is now in Minnesota, the Angels are better than the Twins.”

If the Twins had come up with a couple of clutch hits and maybe gotten the correct call on that Joe Mauer liner in game 3, it would have been competitive. Now those are huge if’s and it’s like saying if OJ hadn’t (allegedly) stabbed those people he would have continued jumping luggage for Hertz and making Naked Gun movies. But the bottom line is that the Twins did not play well after being extremely hot down the stretch to steal that playoff spot. And the Angels are a better team than the Twins, not just because of their better record. They have better pitching, more speed, and a great manager in Mike Scioscia. The Yankees swept all 10 games they played against the Twins this year (playoffs included), and split their 10 games with the Angels.

“Now, now, what we have is a big guy in Sabbathia, who can just, BOOM! Zip that ball in there and dominate the game. I mean, he’d be good competition for me at an all-you-can-eat buffet.”

CC will always have a special place in my heart for carrying the Brewers to the playoffs last year, and he followed it up with a tremendous year in the Bronx, possibly winning the Cy Young award going 19-8. Yet, he was 0-2 with an ERA over 6 against the Angles this year, and he’ll be starting game 1 in NY when the weather is supposed to be brutal – possibly rain and definitely cold. CC is a California guy, and I still believe that he wanted to sign with the Angels last off season, but had to take the mammoth amount of money being thrown at him by the Steinbrenners. So I’m not convinced that he will be lights out in the first game, and if he’s not, the Angels have a chance to build some momentum and put some pressure on the Yanks. And we know how A-Rod feels about pressure.

“Brett Favre is great under pressure and there’s a guy that can just play football, because he’s a football player. If he were a baseball player, then he would, you know, be a baseball player. AJ Burnett is no Brett Favre because he doesn’t even have the same initials and then……..and then………….there you go.”

AJ Burnett has never been a big game pitcher and in fact has shied away from attention or big games historically. Keith Law of ESPN (formerly a Blue Jays front office guy) claimed that Burnett would rather spend time in the training room than on the mound. Add that to the fact that he needs to have his personal catcher in Benji Molina (at least I think it’s Benji. It’s one of those Molina brothers), and the drama that results with the Yankees biggest diva, Jorge Posada. Poor little Jorge is angry that he doesn’t get to start every game at catcher, but the Angels are going to run and it’s going to much harder with Molina behind the plate than if Posada’s noodle arm is back there lobbing rainbows down to second and allowing passed balls regularly. If the Angels get to Sabbathia in game 1, the pressure will be on Burnett, which is not a good thing for him.

The Yankees are talking about going with a 3-man rotation, and the Yankees should probably be the most confident in their 3rd starter, Andy Pettite. If the weather holds out, there is a chance that the Yankees could go with a 3 man rotation, giving Sabbathia 3 starts in the 7 game series. If the weather doesn’t work out, then they have to make a decision between throwing Chad Gaudin or taking Joba out of the bullpen.

The Yankees do have the big bats in Texeira and Rodriguez to carry them if the starting pitching falters and their bullpen has been tremendous with Joba back where he belongs, Phil Hughes and the ageless Marianano Rivera. But the Yankees will have to also contain Vlad Guerrero, who despite having a subpar (for him) regular season, hit over .400 against the Yankees, and Torii Hunter, who has a knack for the big moment.

And I haven’t even mentioned the huge edge the Angels have in coaching with Mike Scioscia over Joe Girardi. Not only has Scioscia owned New York as a manager of the Angels, when he played for the Dodgers he was a thorn in the side of the Big Apple – knocking the Mets out of the NLCS in 1988, and being a part of the 1978 Dodger team that defeated the Yankees. And also add the extra motivation to win to honor their fallen teammate Nick Adenhart, and you have a well-coached and motivated team of destiny.

Bottom Line: The Angels are going to give the Yankees all they can handle and more. It should be an extremely entertaining series that will give the New York media multiple moments to flip out and turn on their home team like they always do. Prediction: Angels in 7

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NLCS – Phillies at Dodgers

The Dodgers get a chance to avenge last season’s NLCS loss to the eventual champion Phillies. The Phillies get a chance to prove that last season wasn’t a fluke and win back-to-back titles. In what should be a good matchup on the field and also adds off-the field stories if the Dodgers win with Joe Torre getting a chance to go back to face the Yankees in their new stadium, or the potential of an all LA/Anaheim series. Reminds me of the scene in Swingers:

“Hey man, you're not from here, alright. You don't know how it is. I grew up in L.A.”
“Anaheim.”
“Whatever, man…”
“….It’s not like you grew up in Compton, Sue, with bullets whizzing by your head...”
“People get car-jacked.”
“Who would ever carjack your f—kin K-Car?”

So let’s break this series down Drew Rosenhaus-style………..

“Next Question.”

The Phillies starting pitching has the two big names in Cliff Lee and Cole Hammels, while the Dodgers throw a young stud in Clayton Kershaw and then follow it up with Vincente Padilla, Hideki Kuroda coming back from injury and Randy Wolf. As a side note, didn’t the Rangers cut Padilla after he got swine flu? And now he’s pitching in the NLCS? Seems like the swine flu actually worked out well for him. But like I pointed out the other day, Hammels struggled all year, finishing 10-11 and got hit hard in game 2 against the Rockies. He will be starting in game 1, and it’s a night game, so he won’t have that excuse to lean on if he gets shelled again. Cliff Lee was lights out against the Rockies, proving that his lack of big-game experience would not be a factor. Kershaw, Wolf and Padilla were solid against the Cards, besting Cy Young favorites Chris Carpenter and Adam Wainwright. Having lefties in Kershaw and Wolf seems like the best chance to neutralize Utley, Howard and Ibanez. Overall, it seems like a wash.
“Next Question.”

The Phillies hit more HR than any team in the league – by a wide margin – hitting more than 220 with the next closest team being the Rockies being below 190. Manny cruised down the stretch, but is always dangerous in clutch situations. Adam Eithier appears to be a legitimate stud, and James Loney and Casey Blake provide reliable protection in the line-up. For the Phils, it’s all about Ryan Howard, who came up with clutch hits against the Rockies and is proving to be a more reliable hitter (for more than just HR) than even Chase Utley. Howard has gotten timely support from Jayson Werth and Raul Ibanez, which makes the Phillies lineup dangerous almost from top to bottom. Slight edge to the Phillies.

“Next Question.”

The Phillies were among the top defensive teams in the league during the regular season, but played uncharacteristically poor against the Rockies. Manny is always a defensive liability, yet manages to unleash a laser whenever he needs it. Neither team is exceptionally poor on defense, so I’ll call it a wash again.

“Next Question.”

Joe Torre has more playoff wins than any manager in history, and would love to get another one before the Yankees do. While the knock on him has always been that he was a caretaker for well-paid, veteran-led teams, this Dodger team is young and the team follows their manager’s calm and collected demeanor. Charlie Manuel earned his stripes with last season’s title run, but against the Phillies got away with a few questionable decisions – starting Cliff Lee in game 1 when he had never started a playoff game, pitching Cole Hammels in game 2 during the day knowing he had struggled mightily in day games, and burning Joe Blanton and JA Happ in game 2. Luckily for Manuel, the weather in Denver postponed game 3, which allowed him to come back with JA Happ, but it could have been dicey if that game would have had to be played on Saturday night. Advantage: Dodgers, heavily.

“Next Question.”

The Dodgers bullpen has been solid, with the mid-season acquisition of George Sherrill setting up for the fireballer Jonathan Broxton. Against the Cards in game 3, I didn’t see him throw a pitch under 98. The Dodgers had the lowest bullpen ERA in the league during the regular season, and show no slowing down. The Phillies bullpen is a mess because you never know what you’re going to get with Brad Lidge. Yes, he was effective against the Rockies, but has a team ever won the World Series while removing their closer during the season, only to give him the job back right before the playoffs? Advantage: Dodgers

Bottom Line: In another what should also be a closely contested series, the Dodgers pitching is more reliable than the Phillies, because I’m basing it on what I’ve seen of Cole Hammels this year, not his reputation from last year. And when you factor in a better and more versatile bench that will factor into close late inning moments, and a better bullpen, I see the Dodgers getting their revenge from next year and moving on to their first World Series since 1988. Dodgers in 6 games.

Degenerate Friday!! Week 5

Wow – Matt Holliday cannot feel good about himself – going from hero to zero all in one game. The guy hits a HR in the playoff game but then boots a liner with 2 outs in the ninth that leads to the Dodgers putting the Cards on the brink of elimination. While the drop didn’t technically cost the Cards the game, as Ryan Franklin gave up the two hits that tied and won the game (to Mark Loretta!?!?!), the game would have been over if he makes the catch. Last team in NL history to come back from 0-2 in a five-game series? The Padres in 1984 against the Cubs – the Leon Durham play - but at least we now know what happened. Just another example of the Cubs….....being the Cubs. (Am I taunting the Cubs fans? Yes, most definitely)

I hope the Phillies playoff games don’t take place on a Monday night, otherwise they might be short-handed since I’m pretty sure Jayson Werth is actually one of the Hardy Boys from the WWE. And let’s stop being surprised by Cole Hammels getting smacked around. After a great post season last year, the guy was 10-11 with an ERA over 4 this season. And he was terrible in day games this year, without a win and an ERA over 6. So why would Charlie Manuel start him in a day game? And why would we be surprised that he got smacked around?


New this week - a quick hit of 3 college games:
Alabama (-5) at Ole Miss
LSU (+7.5) vs. Florida
Wisconsin (+16) at Ohio State

Overall, week 5 is full of mismatched games, large point spreads, and only 3 of the 14 games have both teams with records of at least .500. Six of the games have spreads of more than a touchdown. I guess it is a result of the four teams with byes all having 2-2, 3-1 or 4-0 records (SD, GB, Chicago & New Orleans). This week the games are separated by a few Seinfeld episodes. There’s no way to do the show justice by only choosing 4 episodes, so I just chose 4 that are among my favorites, or at least have my favorite moments. I’m leaving out The Chinese Restaurant (Cartwright!), The Parking Garage, The Puffy Shirt (Well, I don’t wanna be a pirate!), The Cigar Store Indian, The Chinese Woman, The Secretary (Was that wrong? Because if anyone would have told me that was wrong….), The Soup Nazi, The Little Jerry and numerous great episodes involving Puddy – “Feels like an Arby’s night.” But that’s just the way it goes.

Last week was a vast improvement with an 8-6 record, however I lost the last 3 games, meaning I was sitting at 8-3 with the potential for a huge week until the Cowboys, Chargers and Packers all dropped a deuce in their pants. After a quarter of the season, there is a pretty clear distinction between the haves and the have-nots, leading to all the big spreads. While that would typically lead me to taking value with many of the underdogs, too many of these teams are just terrible and will continue to get blown out.


On to the picks......standard disclaimers (recreation, home team in CAPs, etc.)

“The Chicken Roaster” (Season 8, episode #142)
The episode where Jerry switches apartments with Kramer and the glow from the restaurant causes Jerry to start acting like Kramer. It is also the episode where George uses Elaine’s expense account to buy the ridiculous Russian hat. This show spawned the phrase “That’s not going to be good for anyone.” And that might be the most appropriate phrase for many of the teams in these games involving some good and some desperate teams. Another loss for the desperate teams and it might be lights out.

CARDINALS (-5.5) over Texans
The Mount Rushmore of old people still hanging on in sports includes Bobby Bowden, Joe Paterno and Kurt Warner. The rest has to be good for the creaky QB to hopefully get more in tune with his powerful receiving corps. Texans have been a terrible tease and are potentially the football equivalent of Kristin Cavallari from the Hills: Looks great, but there are some tremendous flaws (she's a money/attention whore, the Texans defense) that cause you to be very fearful of having money around them.

Jaguars (-3) over SEAHAWKS
I’m not necessarily buying into the Jags as much as I’m very down on Seattle. Even if Hasselbeck plays, their offensive line is banged up, so there is a good chance he gets knocked right back to the sideline. Another productive day for Team Hyphen!!

Colts (-3.5) over TITANS
This could be the week the Colts are due for a loss and the Titans are due to finally get a win, right? Wrong. Peyton continues his march to the MVP with another game over 300 yards passing against the pathetic Titans pass defense. Quoting the Seinfeld episode, if Jeff Fisher is asked, “Oh….I’m stressed” with the Kramer arm motion. After this week, it’s officially time for the Vince Young experience to play out the rest of the season.

Jets (-1.5) over DOLPHINS
While Miami got a nice win last week against a bad Bills team to get the Chad Henne Era off to a good start, the bottom line is that they are not very good. The Jets defense will cause fits for Henne, and Mark Sanchez will break out his new toy, Braylon Edwards against the struggling Dolphin defense. I look for a rebound after the struggles against the Saints, with a potentially safe game plan to rebuild his confidence. Last week they threw on multiple 3rd and 1 plays in the second half, and they won’t make that mistake again. And the most important addition to the Jets this week isn't Braylon Edwards, it's Calvin Pace - returning from a 4 game suspension to add even more weapons to Rex's defense.

“The Fire” (Season 5, episode 84)
This is the episode where Kramer’s girlfriend heckles Jerry during his comedy show, and George is dating the woman with a kid. When a fire breaks out at the kid’s birthday party, George plows over the kids, an old lady and the clown (played by Jon Favreau) to escape. The overall episode has its moments, but the show has my favorite Kramer scene of all time when he tells the story of saving Toby’s toe. The following games involve one team that is basically on fire – and not in the positive streaking fashion. More like fell-asleep-on-the-couch-with-a-lit-cigarette-and-now-the-trailer-is-on-fire kind of problem.


EAGLES (-14.5) over Buccaneers
Coming off a bye week, with McNabb returning and feeling the pressure of Kolb having played well in his absence, the Eagles will roll. The Bucs and Rams both have the potential to go 0-16 this year and will likely not put up more than 10 points against the rested Eagles defense, which allows for an easy cover. Andy Reid has a very strong record coming off of byes historically, and historically they have had to play better teams than this Tampa team (anyone but the 2008 Lions & 2009 Rams would be better)

Steelers (-10.5) over LIONS
Pittsburgh appears to have righted the ship last week, despite letting the Chargers back in late. Their running game will appear to be repaired against the Lions whether or not it actually is. The Lions are making progress without winning any games, but now face the possibility that Daunte Culpepper will have to start for Matt Stafford at QB. If it were 1999, this would be a major upgrade, and we’d all be talking about the Blair Witch Project. Unfortunately, it’s 10 years later, but the outcome is just as scary for the Lions.

Cowboys (-9) over CHIEFS
At some point, Romo Pyle has to be able to take advantage of some bad teams. And he needs to remember that his best weapon is Jason Witten. This could be the week against a bad Chiefs team. Still doesn’t change the fact that Wade Phillips will not be back next year.

RAIDERS (-15.5) over Giants
The Giants have been gambling gold this season and the Raiders are a mess. But with Eli’s gimpy foot, the G-men will play it conservative and while they will still win comfortably, they won’t cover the more than two TD spread. This could be an extremely slow and boring game to watch with the Giants grinding it out on the ground and the Raiders offense beyond inept. Would you feel more confident with David Carr or Fats Russell as your QB? Sadly, I think I might go with Carr.

Vikings (-9.5) over RAMS (LOCK OF THE WEEK)
The Rams have already been shut out twice, and it’s likely to be a third time against the tough Vikings defense. Minnesota will only need 2 TDs to practically guarantee a cover in this game, and Peterson will look forward to a cupcake defense after being held under 100 yards last week.

“The Serenity Now” (Season 9, episode 159)
Get stuck watching either of these games and you will be yelling for “Serenity Now!” These teams stink, these games stink. This episode also has Frank Costanza having a computer selling contest between George and Lloyd Braun which was based on Glengarry Glenn Ross. It also is the episode where Kramer installs a screen door on his apartment and gets tortured by the neighborhood kids. And of course, the catch phrase that Frank was supposed to say to keep his blood pressure from rising, yet he yelled “Serenity Now!” instead.

Browns (+6) over Bills
Who cares? David Puddy was the best recurring character in Seinfeld. From his Magic 8-Ball Jacket, to his work as a used car salesman, his penchant for Arby’s, or his on-and-off relationship with Elaine, he is pure entertainment gold. My personal favorite David Puddy episode is the face-painting for the NJ Devils hockey games.

PANTHERS (-3) over Redskins
I think by now, Jim Zorn isn’t even feeling pressure about his job. He knows he’s getting fired. So wouldn’t it be fun if he just decided to play the game like he was playing Madden? Go for every fourth down, blitz on every play, and call the same plays over and over if they’re working. What does he have to lose? I’m all for it.

“The Marine Biologist” (Season 5, episode 78)
My favorite episode of all time. Jerry tells Elaine War and Peace was originally named War, What is It Good For? and Elaine tells the Russian author Testikov that story while the electronic organizer Kramer gave her starts beeping. And the best part of the episode at the end when George tells the story of saving the beached whale – leading off with “The sea was angry that day, my friends...” We’re now into the best matchups of the week, where the teams are both fighting angry to get in better positions for playoff spots – like an old man trying to take back soup at a deli.


Bengals (+8.5) over RAVENS
Seems like a lot of points to give to a plucky team in the Bengals that has shown they have the ability to win close games. The Ravens will be angry after a tough loss to the Pats, but the Bengals defense is vastly improved and Carson Palmer has the ability to be successful against the Ravens defense. It's just too many points in a divisional game between teams with winning records. LATE ADD: Over the past 4 years, the Bengals aer 5-3 against the Ravens, and only once lost by more than 7. And now they're getting 8.5 points when they're better than they've been in recent seasons?

Falcons (+2.5) over 49ERS
Both teams are coming off of a bye last week, the Falcons didn’t play anyone and the 49ers walloped the St. Louis Byes. The Niners are very good, and actually resemble the Falcons from last year. So the Falcons are a year further along than SF and I expect Matt Ryan to have a big bounce back after struggling against the Pats before the bye – and perhaps after the game he can smack some Titleists into the Bay.

Patriots (-3.5) over BRONCOS
I’m picking all three road teams in the most competitive games…..which makes me a little nervous. Does the protégé in Josh McDaniels have an advantage against the master Bill Belichick? He does know where the bodies are buried, and knows all the check-downs, etc. However, he does not have Tom Brady, who appears to be getting better each week. McDaniels has Kyle Orton, and while I like his ability to pound Jack Daniels and crush chicks, he is not Tom Brady. Orton is a solid QB who generally prefers to take his chances off the field, and combined with the Broncos defense, they have the ability to stay in this game. However, at the end of the day, the Pats are the better team and will pull away.

Barney Baseball

Baseball is in the final week of the regular season and I can’t remember a recent season with less drama in almost every race. The only exception is the AL Central where the Tigers and Twins are currently starting a 4 game series with the Twins trailing the Tigers by 2 games. Why does no one outside of Minnesota or Michigan care about who wins? Part of the problem is the media’s intense focus on only things involving the Yankees, Red Sox or Dodgers – the 3 biggest baseball markets. The other problem is that whoever wins the division is going to be first round fodder for those Yankees.

What’s better? To be the Twins where every year you might barely squeak into the playoffs and then get bounced in the first round, or to be the Marlins where they build up a team capable of winning (and they have won), then blow the whole thing up, are terrible for a couple years and then reload. I’m not sure, because I’d like to be in the playoffs every year, but do you become immune to the excitement if you just continually get bounced in the first round? Kind of like a girlfriend that has classic good looks but may not be a super model/singer vs. the girl with the boob job and botox that’s going to need to be “retuned” every few years. I think I’ll take the consistency year over year. Think Tony Romo trading in Jessica Simpson for Natalie Smith.

This season, there have barely been any changes in playoff teams since the end of June. As of June 30, the AL playoff teams would have been: Boston, NY, LA Angels, and Detroit. As of today, those are the exact same teams, the only difference is now the Yankees won the division and the Red Sox are the wildcard. In the NL, it took an extra 3 weeks, but as of July 20, the playoff teams would have been: Philly, St. Louis, Dodgers, and Colorado. As of today, those are the exact teams in the exact places.

The positive from the fact that the last 2+ months of the season have been meaningless, is that it confirms that the best teams will be active in the playoffs. These teams have proven over the course of the season that they have the best teams in their divisions and, in theory, the playoffs should be very competitive. I’ll put together a more in-depth preview once the regular season is complete, but for now I’ll just say that I think 1-2-3 starting pitchers and a couple guys who can mash are the keys to success in the playoffs.

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On a somewhat related, but different topic, I’m rooting really hard for the Rockies to fold in this past week and have the Braves or the Giants make the playoffs as the NL Wild Card. I’m not sure what I have against the Rockies – they swept the Phillies two years ago, which I thoroughly enjoyed – but I think it has something to do with the Purple Barney uniforms. Has a team wearing purple ever won a major championship?

NFL – Vikings -> Nope
NBA – Suns, Raptors (since dropped), Kings, Jazz, Bucks (since dropped) -> Nope
MLB – Rockies -> Nope
NHL – LA Kings -> Nope

The only real exception is the LA Lakers. Their purple and gold has won many championships, so maybe they break the rules about winning while looking like Barney.

I guess the only other exceptions I can think of are the Baltimore Ravens, but they are primarily black and white and use purple and gold as accent colors……maybe. And I guess you could make a case for the Arizona Diamondbacks, but since they’ve changed colors 3,217 times in the 11 years they’ve had a team, I’m not sure it counts.

So maybe that’s why I don’t want to see the Rockies in the playoffs. Either that or it’s the fact that games at Coors are never the classic pitching duels I like in the playoffs. Or I’d rather watch Lincecum or Tommy Hanson pitch than……….sorry, can’t think of a Rockies pitcher – Ubaldo Jimenez?