UPDATE: Check out the Weekend Hangover - discussing all the things to "Love" or "Hate" during the past weekend.
Welcome to the Big 10 Mr. Cornhusker. Once it is officially announced later this week, Nebraska will eventually become part of the Big 10 conference and will have played a major part in the collapse of the Big 12 conference. Congrats on that. So as you start your journey, I wanted to put together a quick reference guide to make you feel at home and realize that things are not all that different in your new surroundings. In fact, there are quite a few similarities between your old conference and your new conference, and here is a school by school breakdown of your new neighbors. First, let’s start with your prettier and more outgoing twin sister, the Wisconsin Badgers. Wisconsin is what you would look like if you lost 15 pounds (which would make you faster on the football field) and got a boob job (aka improve your basketball program so that the best player to ever come from your school is better than either Eric Piatkowski or Tyronn Lue). Wisconsin should be the poster on your wall for what you want to be in 7 years if you make smart changes. Joining the Big 10 was your first smart move. Calling Notre Dame and telling them to stop being such arrogant deuchebags and suggesting they join you would also be a smart move.
The Ohio State Buckeyes are like your Texas Longhorns. They are the biggest and the baddest in the conference. They spend the most, they make the most and they have the loudest, most loyal and vocal fanbase. Don’t ever say anything bad about them because they will rally the rest of their rabid irrational fans and you will never hear the end of it.
The Michigan Wolverines are the Oklahoma Sooners. They think they are the big powerhouses of their conferences because they have strong traditions, but they fail to realize that they’ve been completely surpassed by their rivals (Ohio State for Michigan and Texas for Oklahoma). The Indiana Hoosiers are your Colorado Buffaloes. They have some tradition in sports, but haven’t been relevant in years. They are also among the biggest party schools in the conference and have the easiest girls that like to party. If you’re looking for a good time, the same way you used to head to Denver, you now can head to Bloomington. Yes, I know, that’s in Indiana, and it’s hard to believe that a good time can be had in Indiana.
The Iowa Hawkeyes are the well, Iowa State Cyclones. They are both inbred, corn-fed farmers that occasionally put together a decent team or two when they get a good recruit like Marcus Fizer or BJ Armstrong. Oh, and no offense to you, Mr. Cornhuster for that “corn-fed” comment. Then again, the Beach Boys did let us know that the midwest farmer's daughters really make you feel alright, so there is something to be said for that.
The Minnesota Gophers are your Texas Tech Red Raiders. They have hideous uniforms for every sport and while they may hire a big coach (Tubby Smith like TTU’s Bobby Knight), they still suck. It’s not really worth spending too much time on a team whose mascot is a smiling furball wearing a maroon polyester sweater.
The Purdue Boilermakers are the Baylor Bears. The Boilers are the forgotten team in Indiana like Baylor is the forgotten team in Texas. At least Purdue has not had the scandals that plagued the Bears a few years ago. They are never really contenders for any titles despite having some really good players, like Drew Brees, Glen Robinson or Kyle Orton.
The Illinois Fighting Illini are the Oklahoma State Cowboys. They wear orange, they’ve had some issues in the past with rule breaking (Eddie Sutton at OSU and the whole Deon Thompson issue with Illinois basketball), and they’ve produced some of the on-air talent at ESPN – Doug Gottleib and Steven Bardo. Illinois does have the ability to recruit some off-field talent from the greater Chicago area, much like Oklahoma State can recruit from Oklahoma City or Tulsa. Why would you recruit talent from Tulsa? Because spell out Tulsa backwards and you’ll learn what you can find in that city.
The Penn State Nittany Lions are the Kansas State Wildcats. They are the state schools that play the ugly step-sister to their “non-state” teams – Penn is tremendously more accomplished academically than PSU, and Kansas has the athletic tradition that KSU wishes it had. Both PSU and KSU also have coaches that provide endless moments of unintentional comedy with Joe Paterno and Frank Martin.
The Michigan State Spartans are the Kansas Jayhawks. They are both basketball powerhouses that are perennial title contenders. Unfortunately, that’s all they have going for them. It’s tough to find pictures of talent from the schools – seriously, I looked – and their football legends include Plaxico Burress, TJ Duckett, Charles Rogers, and Todd Reesing (yeah, that’s the best Kansas had to offer). At least Kansas will likely be able to dominate the Mountain West basketball standings now.
The Northwestern Wildcats are the Texas A&M Aggies. Well, the Wildcats are really like the Aggies with a large dose of Adderall. Unlike your former conference, you will actually find more than one school in the Big 10 that has strong academics – assuming you overlook the fact that the Big 10 can’t count. Texas A&M probably wouldn’t crack the top half of your new conference, and we know that your academic record will put you at the bottom of the conference next to Penn State, Indiana and Minnesota.
So welcome to the Big 10!! We hope that this has helped to make you feel at home and see the many similarities to your old neighborhood and the many upgrades and amenities that are now available to you. We hope you’re prepared to step up your game and bring some of your finest talents to our towns. We’ll make sure they are taken care of. Good Luck!
It’s the Degenerate Holiday Season!!! Go get your bible for the season – today’s USA Today special section which has team-by-team capsules, stats, rankings, etc. I remember in elementary school spending all morning folding up the paper so I could sneak it inside my books and notebooks to read all of the team capsules on the Monday after the brackets came out. This week I’m going to postpone the typical “Love/Hate” Monday column but it will be back next week. First some information and details of The Sports Addict Bracket Competition, then some initial thoughts on the bracket. We’ll highlight who got the benefit of the doubt and which team the selection committee treated like a baby treats a diaper. Tip your waitresses because I’ll be here all week.
The Sports Addict Bracket Competition
Here is a link to submit your bracket to compete with the rest of The Sports Addict fans – it’s free to enter and you have a chance to win swag from your favorite college team and some Sports Addict gear.
1 – In order to enter, you must be either a Facebook fan of The Sports Addict or a follower of the site (through Google, Blogger, etc.) in order to qualify. Sign up via the links on the right side panel of the blog.
2 – Only one entry will be allowed per person.
3 – Title your entry with your first initial and last name or the name of the account that you follow the site with, so it is easier to contact the eventual winners
4 – Scoring will be counted by CBS’s bracket manager – points per round: 2, 4, 8, 12, 16, 24 and the tie breaker will be total points in the championship game.
5 – Brackets must be completed prior to tip off of the first game Thursday morning and any brackets for people that are not Facebook fans or followers on the site will be deleted.
So sign up, fill out your bracket and try and get some bragging rights. What do you have to lose? It’s free. It’s as easy as finding topless pictures of the girl that stars in She’s Out Of My League – Alice Eve. And it is also an opportunity for bragging rights and to watch me humiliate myself with an awful sheet of picks.
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I will be going through and breaking down the brackets in more detail the next few days, but my initial thoughts…………..
- I am not going to spend any time on arguing who got screwed by not making the tournament. It isn’t that hard to figure out the formula: win more games, preferably against better competition than you did, and you would be in the tournament. More importantly, you’re arguing that you should be given the opportunity to lose in the first round – you’re not winning the championship anyway, so no one cares. Seth Greenberg is like Katie Holmes – you feel for them because of their unfortunate situation, but they made their own bed and they have to sleep in it.
- I never ever want to hear them talk about the “S-Curve” that they rank the teams on. It doesn’t exist. They use travel and cost savings, not an s-curve to bracket the teams. If they used an s-curve, the top #2 seed would be in the same bracket as the bottom #1 seed, or the #5 overall ranked team would be in the same bracket as the #4 overall seed, the #6 with the #3, #7 with #2 and #8 with #1. How else can you explain Ohio State being in the same bracket as the #1 overall seed, Kansas? If there were an s-curve used, that would mean Ohio State, the regular season co-champ and tourney champ in the Big Ten, would be the #8 overall seed, or the weakest of the #2 seeds. Really? You think Kansas State and Villanova, neither of whom won their regular season or tournament championships, were ranked higher? But they kept Ohio State closer to their home by having them play in Milwaukee. Don’t you think Thad Motta would gladly travel a little further to get out of the bracket with the best #1 and #3 seed (Georgetown) in their bracket? T hat is a huge mistake that completely throws off the balance of the overall tournament.
Bracket of Death: Midwest
It’s not even close. What was the reward that Kansas got for the #1 overall seed? Seeds #2-5 are all teams that won their conference regular season or tournament titles (Ohio State, Maryland, Michigan St), and a Georgetown team that made the Big East tournament final. The top 5 seeds have combined for 22 sweet sixteen and 13 final four appearances in the past 10 years. I mentioned the influence of having All-Americans last week, and this bracket alone has Sherron Collins, Greivis Vasquez, James Anderson and Evan Turner – likely all first or second-team All-Americans. Finally, this bracket also has the only team that has beaten both of the top teams in the country this season: Tennessee. The Vols beat both Kansas and Kentucky during the regular season and they were rewarded with the same seed as Notre Dame and Marquette, and behind Texas A&M.
Easiest Bracket: South
The team that got a gift as the third #1 seed ahead of Syracuse, also got the gift of the weakest bracket. The only teams in the South bracket with conference titles (regular season and/or tournament) are Duke and Purdue, and we know Purdue is not the same team that won that regular season co-championship. Villanova has to be the weakest of the #2 seeds, stumbling to the finish line of the regular season then bowing out in their first Big East tournament game. It is hard to find a team in this bracket that I like to go deep in the tournament, but someone has to win it.
Team that got treated like a baby treats a diaper:Temple
Aside from my railings above about how Ohio State got the shaft, who else got dumped on? Temple got treated like the hottest women in Hollywood get treated by John Mayer – they got screwed. Although I didn’t make many friends in Part II of my top 25 review last week with my thoughts on Temple (and I probably made a few less at the bottom of this column), the fact is that they won the regular season and tournament titles in the Atlantic-10, which should have rewarded them with a better situation than they are in. They are the #5 seed in the east bracket with a very difficult matchup in the first round against a Cornell team that Jay Bilas claimed could have been as high as a 5 seed. If they get by that matchup, they get a tough, disciplined Badger team that will not be bothered by the physical, tough defense that the Owls like to play.
Team that should be happier than a fat kid in a candy store:Baylor
Aside from Duke, who was protected like Dick Vitale was the head of the selection committee, it has to be Baylor. I mentioned last week (also in Part II) how Baylor could be a sleeper and the brackets broke really well for them. They have enough fire power to get to the sweet 16 without breaking much of a sweat (sorry Notre Dame fans), which is good for a team that has no tournament experience. Baylor reminds me of Missouri last year, another Big 12 team that earned a #3 seed, yet was not known to the national public and therefore the general population wanted to see them lose early. Look for a great guard matchup if the Bears can make their way to the sweet 16 against Villanova and their experienced backcourt.
Other random thoughts:
- Michigan coach, Jon Beilein, please report to the Athletic Director’s office immediately, and bring your office key – you won’t be needing that any more. Do you not recall the 1992 regional final game between Duke and Kentucky with the infamous Christian Laettner turnaround? Didn’t we learn that you MUST have someone guard the inbounder? Or at least put some pressure on Ohio State before midcourt? Or maybe, just maybe, consider trying to keep the ball out of Big Ten Player of the Year Evan Turner’s hands? Then why would you act surprised that Turner hit a 35 foot shot to win the game? Beilein managed the game worse than Carrie Prejean managed her time as Miss USA.
- All the fans of New Mexico were whining that they weren’t getting any respect last week, including comments like “watch them play” among their complaints. So I tuned into the MWC conference tournament final to check them out……..only they didn’t show up. They lost in the semifinals of their below-average conference tournament. It’s kind of like Kate Gosselin arguing she’s not a fame-whore when she’s neglecting her kids while she gets another make-over and trains for her Dancing With The Stars appearance (note to Kate: no matter what you do with your hair, your face and attitude are still the same, and that’s the problem). Look at the bright side Lobo fans, at least now it’s a little less embarrassing when you lose in the opening round as a #3 seed. - Speaking of the Mountain West, maybe Jon Beilein should get ready to coach in the MWC. Why? Well in the conference tournament final, it was a coaching matchup of former Big Ten flameouts Lon Kruger (current UNLV coach, former Illinois coach) and Steve Fisher (current San Diego St coach and former Michigan coach). And who is the coach of New Mexico, the team that lost in the semis? Former Iowa failure Steve Alford. Does Steve Yoder coach at TCU? Or Clem Haskins at Wyoming?
- Temple has a chance to go fairly deep in the tournament, and a big part of that is their guard Juan Fernandez. He reminds me of Manu Ginobili in that he has that awkward, herky-jerky game filled with off-balance shots that look horrendous, yet manage to go in more often than not. He is one of those guys in the rec center where you don’t pick him for your team because he’s not big, fast or strong, then he’s on the other team and he lights you up with an array of shots that leave you shaking your head in disgust and disappointment. Also – what was up with the United Nations convention that broke out after Temple won the game? Players were wearing flags from all over the world on the court to celebrate. As my brother sent me in a text: “That’s because no one from this country wanted to go there.” I couldn’t have said it better myself.
Check back all week as we break down all the games, and find all the information you need to dominate your pool. And you could win The Sports Addict bracket and collect some free gear.
A couple quick hits before this week’s gambling tip. First, the most dangerous thing in New York right now? Trees. Another N’oreaster storm hit the city yesterday (and today), with a ton of wet, heavy snow which sticks to the tree branches and creates a really pretty winter wonderland scene in Central Park. Really pretty until those branches can’t handle the weight of the snow and start crashing down. One of those falling branches hit and killed a guy yesterday. I can’t think of too many worse ways to go – that’s brutal.
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Supposedly there is a feud between US Olympic skiiers Lindsey Vonn and Julia Mancuso and it boiled over when Vonn crashed on her run earlier this week. The crash caused them to restart Mancuso’s run (which had started while Vonn was still on the course), and she had to rerun after waiting for the rest of the field to run and the course conditions deteriorated. Mancuso also made some comments in Sports Illustrated about how the team is struggling because everyone is struggling for attention and that Vonn was basically being a diva. Are we really surprised that Mancuso would feel some jealousy toward her teammate who didn’t win medals in Torino in 2006 yet snagged an SI cover photo, was part of the swimsuit issue and then snared all the headlines with her shin injury drama? That attention turns into endorsements, which means money. And for Olympic athletes (other than the pros in basketball or hockey), making a name for themselves and getting endorsements is their best chance to rake in the dough.
Mancuso has been very successful – two silvers in this year’s games, and another chance hurt by Vonn’s fall – and she is also very talented in the beauty department. And so maybe hinting at a catfight is a ploy to get some attention turned on her as well as Lindsey. Personally? I’m a fan of Mancuso over Vonn. Vonn is a fame-monger and a drama queen who seems to share the same attitude of Bode Miller, whom I have very little respect for.
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I thought about just rerunning last week’s degenerate column and pick the USA to win the gold medal game this weekend. Yet I actually think the US team will have a tough time beating Finland in the semifinal round today. It has all of the set up for a let-down game for the US, where they are looking forward to the gold medal game and take the Fins lightly. The loss to the US also served as a wake-up call for the Canadians who took out their frustration on the Russians and will be ready for whoever makes the final game. Look for the Canadians to win the hockey gold to go with their golds in men’s and women’s curling. Although the Canadians haven’t owned the podium like they claimed they would, if they win hockey and curling gold, they can at least know that their position in the world is secure.
Speaking of curling, there is quite a bit of buzz around the captain of the women’s team, Cheryl Bernard. The 43 year old cougar has taken the country by storm and said she can’t even go to the grocery store without being mobbed for autographs.
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Finally, let’s get to the gambling!! This week, let’s take a look at the odds to win the NCAA tournament, as selection Sunday is March 14th – only 2 weeks away. Since many employers may block the links to bodog, here’s a quick list of the odds for some of the favorites:
Kansas – 2/1 Kentucky – 4/1 Syracuse – 5/1 Villanova – 8/1 Texas – 13/1 Duke – 14/1 Purdue – 15/1 Ohio State – 15/1 Michigan State – 18/1 West Virginia – 18/1 Kansas State – 25/1 Georgetown – 32/1 Wisconsin – 45/1 Tennessee – 50/1 California – 60/1
If we are going to place some hard earned bling down on a team – even if it is previous gambling winnings, you worked hard to pick that win – we want it to be the best value. Therefore, getting less than 5/1 odds is not attractive. Kansas and Kentucky get eliminated. The next requirement is that the team has to have the ability to win and it would not be a huge shocker to see them cutting down the nets. That takes out Duke, Kansas State and West Virginia. And finally, they can’t play in a conference that resembles a toilet bowl – full of turds. That takes out California and really, any team west of the Rocky Mountains (BYU & New Mexico). Let’s look at the best bets among the favorites , the pick, and the best long-shot value.
Quick Aside – before this week’s games, Purdue would have been my pick. They have a veteran point guard (Chris Kramer – Purdue always has these junkyard dog guys – Kramer, Brian Cardinal, Matt Painter), dynamic scorer (E’Twaun Moore), big man (JuJuan Johnson), shooter (Robbie Hummel), bench scoring (Keaton Grant) and defense tighter than the Hannah Storm’s outfits on ESPN. (ESPN can’t suspend me like they did with Tony Kornheiser, right? I’m allowed to say that I’m all for Hannah and her hooker boots and that Chris Berman is a fat, arrogant blowhard. I can say that, right?) Losing Hummel for the season to an ACL injury changes all of that – he was their all-around guy, who rebounded well and defended well in addition to his shooting. If Coach Painter can rally his guys, they still have the talent to make noise, but I don’t see them getting past the sweet 16.
The Favorite
Villanova (8/1) Jay Wright’s Wildcats have the talent and depth to win the title. They have the veteran guard play with Scottie Reynolds to keep the team under control, which I think separates them from a team like Kentucky, who may have more talent from top to bottom. ESPN is currently running a promo for their gameday this weekend and a special on Villanova and “why Scottie Reynolds chose to come back for his senior year” – is this really a question? The reason he came back was that he is destined to be the next Troy Bell or Shawn Respert!! A prolific scoring guard in college that is not big enough to play shooting guard at the next level and not a good enough ball handler or passer to make the shift to point guard. But he is built perfectly to get hot in the tournament and lead his team to the championship. Shooting guard Corey Stokes was busted for public urination last week which may affect his status for the game against Syracuse, but shouldn’t affect the team long term. Kind of like when Hildo was busted for public urination ON Science Hall in Madison – it affected our trip to Qdoba (at that time named Z-Teca?), but didn’t affect our drinking the next night.
The Long Shot
Georgetown (32/1) They have many of the key elements that it takes to win the title: disciplined coach, strong defense, and a big man that can take over games and get his own shot in Greg Monroe. Add to it the tough schedule they have played going through the Big East and their non-conference destruction of Duke, and you have a team that is very capable of holding up the trophy in Lucas Oil Stadium in Indianapolis. The key for the Hoyas may be how they finish the season and the seeding they get because while they have some marquee wins like Duke and Villanova, they have some bad losses like South Florida and Rutgers. They lack a consistent threat from the outside, which causes them to have scoring droughts and keeps lesser teams in the game.
The Pick
Ohio State (15/1) They offer the best value, play strong defense, have a serviceable big man (Dallas Lauderdale), a shooter (Jon Diebler), and the best player in the game in Evan Turner. The biggest chink in their armor is that they don’t have the depth of a team like Kansas. The runner-up for this pick was Michigan State, who has the depth, defense and coach. But the defining factor was Evan Turner is tremendously better than Kalin Lucas when you match up the star players. My other fear about the Buckeyes is that they are pulling a Lindsay Lohan and have peaked a little too early (meaning: right now), so there is a fear that by the time the tourney rolls around, the Buckeyes will have transformed from young, hot Lindsay to the drug-addled, cutting scarred, sun-damaged Lindsay trying to rely on her cleavage (her Evan Turner) to carry her. Wow, I’m rethinking my pick after typing that sentence, as I don’t really want to be betting on Lindsay Lohan. Yet, I’m going to stick with my pick because I see Ohio State more like Gwen Stefani, who we thought peaked as a part of No Doubt, but has actually become stronger and can carry a concert by herself. And while she still has her Evan Turner (her abs) to carry her, the rest of her has come along very nicely.
LOVE - I thoroughly enjoyed Wisconsin thrashing Michigan on Saturday (read the caption on the photo). They dominated the Wolverines in all phases of the game, showing that Michigan’s 4-0 start was a complete fluke. Rich Rodriguez, those fast, undersized guys running a gimmick offense might have worked at West Virginia, but you need some size in the Big Ten. Ask Northwestern, who has not been able to string together consecutive winning seasons using the same offense and undersized theory that Richie prefers. The oversized Wisconsin linemen and huge John Clay wore down the Michigan defense. In addition, Wisconsin has uncovered a future (and current) receiving star in Nick Toon. Big, fast, and catches the ball with his hands. Very impressive.
- Not only was it fun to watch Stanford eat USC’s lunch, dinner and desert, it was also fun to watch Jim Harbaugh rub it in by going for 2 after their 7th TD and the game was already well out of hand. It’s the type of move that Pete Carroll and USC have been doing to the Pac-10 for the past 7 years, so it was satisfying to watch Pete and his dopey turtleneck-under-his-polo-shirt get peeved at getting the score run up on him. Good luck in the Sun Bowl, Pete. Looks like your dream freshman QB resembles Ron Pawlus more than Joe Montana at this point. He still has plenty of time to develop into a good quarterback, but he is not there right now.
- I give up trying to figure out the Packers. You knew they had their backs against the wall and would come out fighting, and they did, keeping the Cowboys shut out until the final minutes. But the real story of the game – Charles Woodson. Could he have had a better game? He forced a fumble by Roy Williams, had the strip sack of Romo, and then picked off a pass at the goalline. He absolutely dominated the game and proved that he is still among the best cornerbacks in the league. After 8 years in Oakland, he had 17 career INTs, taking 2 of them back for TDs. In his three and a half seasons in Green Bay, he has 24 INTs, and has taken 5 back to the house. The guy is playing incredible and this game could be the turning point of the Packers’ season.
- You might have missed it since it was the NBA, it was the Bucks, and it was a Friday night. But rookie PG Brandon Jennings went off like Christian Bale on the production crew. He dropped 55 on Golden State, including 29 in the 3rd quarter alone. And he didn’t even score in the first quarter. He set the Bucks rookie record for points in a game, passing Lew Alcindor’s 51, and scores the most points by a rookie since Earl Monroe in 1968. Jennings is taking the league by storm and making Scott Skiles’ job extremely easy “pick and roll & let Brandon do whatever he wants.”
- There’s a new bully in the NFC North, and no one would have ever believed it’s the Bengals. They’re 5-0 in the division and swept the Ravens and Steelers. And they did it by being more physical and dominating the Steelers with their defense. Pittsburgh could be in trouble if Polamalu is out for an extended time again, and why would they only call 16 runs and 40 passes? That doesn’t seem like Steelers football, but I think it speaks to the respect that the Bengals defense has earned.
HATE
- Think the evil dictator Belichick’s ego got the best of him last night? What in the world could he have possibly been thinking to go for it on 4th and 2 from his own 27 yard line, up 6 with 2 minutes left in the game? Not only did he make a huge blunder in going for it, but he left himself with no time outs so he couldn’t even challenge the spot. An epic screw up by the king of the hoodie that spoiled a tremendous game by Brady, Moss and Faulk. Belichick’s ego is bigger than John Daly after another weekend in Vegas. I get that the defense had allowed Manning to slice through them for 2 TD drives in less than 2 minutes, and he was subscribing to the Herm Lewis “You play to win the game.” Philosophy, but you have to play the numbers and it is less likely that Manning drives 70 yards than it is for him to drive 29 yards. You can make an argument for it, but at the end of the day, it’s a bad decision. Yet, Captain Ego Hoodie will refuse to admit that and just said that he liked his chances. No need to overreact, as Belichick is still a good coach adn the Pats are going to win the division. He just let his ego win the battle last night. Somehow, Manning and the Colts continue to win games that it seems like are out of their grasp. Can they run the table and go 16-0? It sure looks a lot more likely after passing this test.
- Begrudging congratulations to Ohio State for winning the Big Ten and securing at least a Rose Bowl berth. It was an extremely competitive and tense game as the Buckeyes beat Iowa in overtime. Unfortunately, the fact that it was intense and close masked how poor the football was. Both teams run the most boring and conservative offenses, with runs and dump off passes dominating the play calls. You can compliment Iowa for hanging in the game despite missing their emotional leader in Ricky Stanzi at quarterback or you can loath the Buckeyes for needing overtime to beat a team without their best player. Either way, it was a continual stream of 3 yards and a cloud of dust, incomplete passes and sacks. Not exactly a recruiting video for the Big Ten. It was about as entertaining as watching Ashlee Simpson trying to act.
- At this point, who is falling apart faster, the Jets or the Broncos? The Jets continue to talk the talk, but are tripping all over themselves trying to walk the walk. The Broncos lost their 3rd straight game, this time against the pathetic Redskins. In addition to losing Kyle Orton and Chris Simms looking extremely uncomfortable in the game, they allowed a fake field goal/fake punt/touchdown pass. That’s unacceptable if you expect to be a playoff team – especially against a Redskins team that is in complete and total disarray. They’re now tied with the improving Chargers, and the Broncos welcome the Chargers to Mile High Stadium next Sunday.
- Why the hell is there a Monday night game in Cleveland? They won 4 games last year. They stunk. They have 2 bad quarterbacks. Yet somehow the NFL thought it might be a good idea to drop a Monday night game in Cleveland? Pretty sure there are 25 more interesting things on television tonight……including Leighton Meester on Gossip Girl……………or Golden Girls……….or House Hunters………..or WWE Monday Night Raw…………or Two & A Half Men…………or Leave it to Lamas. I think it’s a reality show for Shayne Lamas, the hot bimbo daughter of Lorenzo Lamas – the dude from Renegade. And she was a bimbo on The Bachelor a while back, and I guess that's now enough to warrant your own television show.
- The NFC East is vastly overrated. The Eagles lost another game on the West Coast and proved that they are nowhere near the juggernaut they were made out to be. And they are definitely not an intimidating or tough team – neither physically nor mentally. The Round Mound of Coaching forgot that he had running plays on the back of his play sheet, and called almost exclusively passing plays. 56 pass plays and 13 running plays in their loss to the Chargers – not exactly a playoff-ready formula. The Cowboys looked to be the class of the division after beating the Giants and Eagles, but then got crushed by the Packers. And the Giants, after that 5-0 start, have lost 4 straight against better competition and suddenly look like they will be lucky to stay in the playoff hunt.
So I missed in my Monday Hangover mentioning Notre Dame losing to Navy in South Bend on Saturday. It was another black eye for Charlie Weiss and the once proud program. The seat is once again getting very warm under the rather large posterior of the coach, who is becoming more prickly with each loss. But the question is whether Weiss is really at fault for the continued decline of the once proud and dominant program. Or is it possible that Weiss is facing headwinds that will keep the program from ever being able to push above that of a mid-tier Big Ten program? I - Academics
It is a known fact that Notre Dame actually makes its student-athletes adhere to strict academic standards. Not only do they have stringent requirements to get accepted to the school, they make you attend class and get a degree. That obviously has a huge impact on recruiting and the ability to get the best athletes to don the golden dome helmet. Notre Dame has a graduation success rate of 95%, while Florida (68), Texas (50), USC (54) or LSU (54) were at or below the overall D-1 football average of 67%. What schools that are on par with Notre Dame? Stanford (93), Northwestern (92), Boston College (92) and Duke (92).
How can you honestly expect the Fighting Irish to be able to compete with schools that cater to kids that will leave school early, or would never qualify to attend strong academic schools? They can’t. So if Notre Dame insists on maintaining their academic integrity, they will not be able to attract these great athletes that have less intelligence than Megan Fox. The Notre Dame football players are not angels, but you don’t hear about guys like LeGarrette Blount (punching a Boise St player) or Brandon Spikes (eye gouging) or even JaMarcus Russell (lazy) at Notre Dame.
II – Recruiting Disadvantages
Notre Dame used to be the premiere football program in the entire country. Recruiting used to be as simple as, (a) Do you want to play for a national championship? (b) Do you want to be on national television every week? and (c) Have you seen Rudy and Touchdown Jesus? As long as you had the credentials, everyone wanted to play for Notre Dame. Things have changed tremendously, a big part of that is the continued explosion of 24 hour sports networks, and large television contracts with every major conference. That NBC contract used to be a primary recruiting tool to show high school kids that you’ll be seen on television which would increase your draft prospects. That is no longer the case as the Big Ten has its own network and a contract with ESPN, the SEC has a large contract with ESPN and CBS, and so on and so on. All of the games are on television and players will be found and will be covered if they have the talent to play in the pros. In addition, the increased draft coverage from the sports networks and the talking heads all over television and radio make sure that players from any school will be discovered.
The other large recruiting disadvantage that Notre Dame faces is the oldest adage in real estate: location, location, location. Notre Dame is in South Bend, Indiana. There is nothing in South Bend, Indiana other than Notre Dame. Now Gainesville, Florida is not a bustling metropolis but it definitely has a few things that Notre Dame cannot offer: sunshine, beaches, and talented co-eds. (not that there aren’t pretty girls at ND – I have friends with beautiful wives that went there, but let’s be serious overall). Charlie Weiss brings in a recruit during the off-season and reminds him to bring his boots and coat, while they trek through the snow to show him the campus. That same 18 year old kid then flies to Gainesville, and Coach Meyer reminds him to bring his flip flops and sunglasses while they walk among palm trees and talented girls to get to the swamp. He then flies to LA, and meets with Pete Carroll, also under palm trees, also with talented co-eds, and Pete tells the kid to make sure he gets to Hollywood Blvd or Malibu before he heads out of town. Do you really think that kid is going to choose Notre Dame over those options?
III – Surreal Expectations
Every preseason, the pundits talk about how Notre Dame is improved, and will be battling for a BCS bowl berth. Every recruiting class for Notre Dame is ranked high because it’s full of highly recruited high school players. But it’s a circular argument in that the kids are ranked high because Notre Dame is recruiting them, and Notre Dame’s recruiting class is ranked high because the kids are highly ranked. It’s a flaw with the entire ranking of recruiting classes everywhere. In any event, Notre Dame is expected to battle for a national championship and a BCS bowl every single year, which puts a tremendous amount of pressure on a team that does not have the same talent level as the top teams in the country.
In the past 10 years, Notre Dame has had 10 players drafted in the first two rounds of the NFL draft. Compare that to Wisconsin (11), Michigan State (7), Iowa (9) and Washington (7). Now look at the number of 1st or 2nd round draft picks in the past ten years at USC (32), Ohio State (25), Florida (20) and Texas (19). The talent disparity is obvious, yet Notre Dame is perennially expected to compete despite an uneven talent level.
The alumni and the media continue to push Notre Dame expectations way above where they realistically should be based on their talent. Notre Dame will never have a season that is a surprise on the upside; it will only have surprises to the downside. That is an impossible situation for any coach to face. And at Notre Dame, it happens every single season.
Overall, Notre Dame is a strong academic school that produces solid football teams and solid student-athletes. Yet that does not appease the alumni that demand a return to the excellence of the past. Unfortunately, the team is facing a very steep uphill battle in order to consistently battle for national championships again.
-------------------------------------- Did you see the dive/fall/landing of Javid Best of California getting to the house against Oregon State? It was a nasty, nasty fall after going up over the top, and getting crushed while up there. Thankfully it sounds like he was released from the hospital and will be able to resume playing in a few weeks after the concussion. ------------------------------------------ Oregon reinstated their RB, LeGarrette Blount that punched a Boise State player after their season opening loss. I think it makes sense, as the kid has missed more than half of his senior season, and if the coach, athletic director and conference believe that he has learned his lesson, then let him play. And if the team was only reinstating him because the team had a shot at the Rose Bowl, they would have brought him back for the USC game or before losing to Stanford. ------------------------------------------ The Chiefs cut Larry Johnson yesterday to complete a dramatic fall from grace for the former NFL stud. Johnson and Shaun Alexander are the primary examples to prove the curse of 300+ carries in one season. However, Michael Turner appears to be busting through that this season and has been getting better as this season has went on. ------------------------------------------ Oh, and are we surprised that the Allen Iverson experiment in Memphis didn’t work out? Now it looks like he’s going to retire because he can’t handle coming off the bench. After 3 games, he’s had enough. Just another example of what a selfish d-bag this guy has always been, despite how dynamic he could be on the court.
Wow – Matt Holliday cannot feel good about himself – going from hero to zero all in one game. The guy hits a HR in the playoff game but then boots a liner with 2 outs in the ninth that leads to the Dodgers putting the Cards on the brink of elimination. While the drop didn’t technically cost the Cards the game, as Ryan Franklin gave up the two hits that tied and won the game (to Mark Loretta!?!?!), the game would have been over if he makes the catch. Last team in NL history to come back from 0-2 in a five-game series? The Padres in 1984 against the Cubs – the Leon Durham play - but at least we now know what happened. Just another example of the Cubs….....being the Cubs. (Am I taunting the Cubs fans? Yes, most definitely)
I hope the Phillies playoff games don’t take place on a Monday night, otherwise they might be short-handed since I’m pretty sure Jayson Werth is actually one of the Hardy Boys from the WWE. And let’s stop being surprised by Cole Hammels getting smacked around. After a great post season last year, the guy was 10-11 with an ERA over 4 this season. And he was terrible in day games this year, without a win and an ERA over 6. So why would Charlie Manuel start him in a day game? And why would we be surprised that he got smacked around?
New this week - a quick hit of 3 college games: Alabama (-5) at Ole Miss LSU (+7.5) vs. Florida Wisconsin (+16) at Ohio State
Overall, week 5 is full of mismatched games, large point spreads, and only 3 of the 14 games have both teams with records of at least .500. Six of the games have spreads of more than a touchdown. I guess it is a result of the four teams with byes all having 2-2, 3-1 or 4-0 records (SD, GB, Chicago & New Orleans). This week the games are separated by a few Seinfeld episodes. There’s no way to do the show justice by only choosing 4 episodes, so I just chose 4 that are among my favorites, or at least have my favorite moments. I’m leaving out The Chinese Restaurant (Cartwright!), The Parking Garage, The Puffy Shirt (Well, I don’t wanna be a pirate!), The Cigar Store Indian, The Chinese Woman, The Secretary (Was that wrong? Because if anyone would have told me that was wrong….), The Soup Nazi, The Little Jerry and numerous great episodes involving Puddy – “Feels like an Arby’s night.” But that’s just the way it goes.
Last week was a vast improvement with an 8-6 record, however I lost the last 3 games, meaning I was sitting at 8-3 with the potential for a huge week until the Cowboys, Chargers and Packers all dropped a deuce in their pants. After a quarter of the season, there is a pretty clear distinction between the haves and the have-nots, leading to all the big spreads. While that would typically lead me to taking value with many of the underdogs, too many of these teams are just terrible and will continue to get blown out.
On to the picks......standard disclaimers (recreation, home team in CAPs, etc.)
“The Chicken Roaster” (Season 8, episode #142) The episode where Jerry switches apartments with Kramer and the glow from the restaurant causes Jerry to start acting like Kramer. It is also the episode where George uses Elaine’s expense account to buy the ridiculous Russian hat. This show spawned the phrase “That’s not going to be good for anyone.” And that might be the most appropriate phrase for many of the teams in these games involving some good and some desperate teams. Another loss for the desperate teams and it might be lights out.
CARDINALS (-5.5) over Texans The Mount Rushmore of old people still hanging on in sports includes Bobby Bowden, Joe Paterno and Kurt Warner. The rest has to be good for the creaky QB to hopefully get more in tune with his powerful receiving corps. Texans have been a terrible tease and are potentially the football equivalent of Kristin Cavallari from the Hills: Looks great, but there are some tremendous flaws (she's a money/attention whore, the Texans defense) that cause you to be very fearful of having money around them.
Jaguars (-3) over SEAHAWKS I’m not necessarily buying into the Jags as much as I’m very down on Seattle. Even if Hasselbeck plays, their offensive line is banged up, so there is a good chance he gets knocked right back to the sideline. Another productive day for Team Hyphen!!
Colts (-3.5) over TITANS This could be the week the Colts are due for a loss and the Titans are due to finally get a win, right? Wrong. Peyton continues his march to the MVP with another game over 300 yards passing against the pathetic Titans pass defense. Quoting the Seinfeld episode, if Jeff Fisher is asked, “Oh….I’m stressed” with the Kramer arm motion. After this week, it’s officially time for the Vince Young experience to play out the rest of the season.
Jets (-1.5) over DOLPHINS While Miami got a nice win last week against a bad Bills team to get the Chad Henne Era off to a good start, the bottom line is that they are not very good. The Jets defense will cause fits for Henne, and Mark Sanchez will break out his new toy, Braylon Edwards against the struggling Dolphin defense. I look for a rebound after the struggles against the Saints, with a potentially safe game plan to rebuild his confidence. Last week they threw on multiple 3rd and 1 plays in the second half, and they won’t make that mistake again. And the most important addition to the Jets this week isn't Braylon Edwards, it's Calvin Pace - returning from a 4 game suspension to add even more weapons to Rex's defense.
“The Fire” (Season 5, episode 84) This is the episode where Kramer’s girlfriend heckles Jerry during his comedy show, and George is dating the woman with a kid. When a fire breaks out at the kid’s birthday party, George plows over the kids, an old lady and the clown (played by Jon Favreau) to escape. The overall episode has its moments, but the show has my favorite Kramer scene of all time when he tells the story of saving Toby’s toe. The following games involve one team that is basically on fire – and not in the positive streaking fashion. More like fell-asleep-on-the-couch-with-a-lit-cigarette-and-now-the-trailer-is-on-fire kind of problem.
EAGLES (-14.5) over Buccaneers Coming off a bye week, with McNabb returning and feeling the pressure of Kolb having played well in his absence, the Eagles will roll. The Bucs and Rams both have the potential to go 0-16 this year and will likely not put up more than 10 points against the rested Eagles defense, which allows for an easy cover. Andy Reid has a very strong record coming off of byes historically, and historically they have had to play better teams than this Tampa team (anyone but the 2008 Lions & 2009 Rams would be better)
Steelers (-10.5) over LIONS Pittsburgh appears to have righted the ship last week, despite letting the Chargers back in late. Their running game will appear to be repaired against the Lions whether or not it actually is. The Lions are making progress without winning any games, but now face the possibility that Daunte Culpepper will have to start for Matt Stafford at QB. If it were 1999, this would be a major upgrade, and we’d all be talking about the Blair Witch Project. Unfortunately, it’s 10 years later, but the outcome is just as scary for the Lions.
Cowboys (-9) over CHIEFS At some point, Romo Pyle has to be able to take advantage of some bad teams. And he needs to remember that his best weapon is Jason Witten. This could be the week against a bad Chiefs team. Still doesn’t change the fact that Wade Phillips will not be back next year.
RAIDERS (-15.5) over Giants The Giants have been gambling gold this season and the Raiders are a mess. But with Eli’s gimpy foot, the G-men will play it conservative and while they will still win comfortably, they won’t cover the more than two TD spread. This could be an extremely slow and boring game to watch with the Giants grinding it out on the ground and the Raiders offense beyond inept. Would you feel more confident with David Carr or Fats Russell as your QB? Sadly, I think I might go with Carr.
Vikings (-9.5) over RAMS (LOCK OF THE WEEK) The Rams have already been shut out twice, and it’s likely to be a third time against the tough Vikings defense. Minnesota will only need 2 TDs to practically guarantee a cover in this game, and Peterson will look forward to a cupcake defense after being held under 100 yards last week.
“The Serenity Now” (Season 9, episode 159) Get stuck watching either of these games and you will be yelling for “Serenity Now!” These teams stink, these games stink. This episode also has Frank Costanza having a computer selling contest between George and Lloyd Braun which was based on Glengarry Glenn Ross. It also is the episode where Kramer installs a screen door on his apartment and gets tortured by the neighborhood kids. And of course, the catch phrase that Frank was supposed to say to keep his blood pressure from rising, yet he yelled “Serenity Now!” instead.
Browns (+6) over Bills Who cares? David Puddy was the best recurring character in Seinfeld. From his Magic 8-Ball Jacket, to his work as a used car salesman, his penchant for Arby’s, or his on-and-off relationship with Elaine, he is pure entertainment gold. My personal favorite David Puddy episode is the face-painting for the NJ Devils hockey games.
PANTHERS (-3) over Redskins I think by now, Jim Zorn isn’t even feeling pressure about his job. He knows he’s getting fired. So wouldn’t it be fun if he just decided to play the game like he was playing Madden? Go for every fourth down, blitz on every play, and call the same plays over and over if they’re working. What does he have to lose? I’m all for it.
“The Marine Biologist” (Season 5, episode 78) My favorite episode of all time. Jerry tells Elaine War and Peace was originally named War, What is It Good For? and Elaine tells the Russian author Testikov that story while the electronic organizer Kramer gave her starts beeping. And the best part of the episode at the end when George tells the story of saving the beached whale – leading off with “The sea was angry that day, my friends...” We’re now into the best matchups of the week, where the teams are both fighting angry to get in better positions for playoff spots – like an old man trying to take back soup at a deli.
Bengals (+8.5) over RAVENS Seems like a lot of points to give to a plucky team in the Bengals that has shown they have the ability to win close games. The Ravens will be angry after a tough loss to the Pats, but the Bengals defense is vastly improved and Carson Palmer has the ability to be successful against the Ravens defense. It's just too many points in a divisional game between teams with winning records. LATE ADD: Over the past 4 years, the Bengals aer 5-3 against the Ravens, and only once lost by more than 7. And now they're getting 8.5 points when they're better than they've been in recent seasons?
Falcons (+2.5) over 49ERS Both teams are coming off of a bye last week, the Falcons didn’t play anyone and the 49ers walloped the St. Louis Byes. The Niners are very good, and actually resemble the Falcons from last year. So the Falcons are a year further along than SF and I expect Matt Ryan to have a big bounce back after struggling against the Pats before the bye – and perhaps after the game he can smack some Titleists into the Bay.
Patriots (-3.5) over BRONCOS I’m picking all three road teams in the most competitive games…..which makes me a little nervous. Does the protégé in Josh McDaniels have an advantage against the master Bill Belichick? He does know where the bodies are buried, and knows all the check-downs, etc. However, he does not have Tom Brady, who appears to be getting better each week. McDaniels has Kyle Orton, and while I like his ability to pound Jack Daniels and crush chicks, he is not Tom Brady. Orton is a solid QB who generally prefers to take his chances off the field, and combined with the Broncos defense, they have the ability to stay in this game. However, at the end of the day, the Pats are the better team and will pull away.
They are the biggest and the baddest in the conference. They spend the most, they make the most and they have the loudest, most loyal and vocal fanbase. Don’t ever say anything bad about them because they will rally the rest of their rabid irrational fans and you will never hear the end of it.
both inbred, corn-fed farmers that occasionally put together a decent team or two when they get a good recruit like Marcus Fizer or BJ Armstrong. Oh, and no offense to you, Mr. Cornhuster for that “corn-fed” comment. Then again, the Beach Boys did let us know that the midwest farmer's daughters really make you feel alright, so there is something to be said for that.
hire a big coach (Tubby Smith like TTU’s Bobby Knight), they still suck. It’s not really worth spending too much time on a team whose mascot is a smiling furball wearing a maroon polyester sweater.
what you can find in that city.
from the schools – seriously, I looked – and their football legends include Plaxico Burress, TJ Duckett, Charles Rogers, and Todd Reesing (yeah, that’s the best Kansas had to offer). At least Kansas will likely be able to dominate the Mountain West basketball standings now.
