Getcha Popcorn Ready!

With camps getting started all over the NFL, it’s time to turn more and more of our attention to Lord Football. And I will not be wasting any space on whether or not the league’s biggest diva will or won’t play (we all know he’s coming back, but not until he plants enough doubt with his personal mouthpiece, Chris Mortensen of ESPN, so that in case he fails, he has some built in excuses). What other stories are of interest? Dez Bryant refusing to carry Roy Williams’ pads and then backing off because he “didn’t know it was a tradition” with the Cowboys? More boring than the drama surrounding The Bachelorette, Ali. And as Tim Cowlishaw of the Dallas Morning News perfectly pointed out – if that’s the ‘Boys big problem, they are going to have a great season. Instead, we learned today that Terrell Owens had signed on to play with the Bengals this season. Well, Cincy – Getcha Popcorn Ready!!

I may be as crazy as the Timberwolves GM, but I actually think this could work very, very well for the Bengals. If Owens can keep his ego in check, he has a chance to put up really good numbers on a team that has the potential to be a factor in the playoffs. Here are the reasons it will not implode:

1 – Carson Palmer
No quarterback in the league has dealt with more “entertainers” at the wide receiver position than Palmer. His main target has been the always-entertaining Chad Ochocinco, and previously he was teamed up with the always-outspoken T.J. Houshmandzadeh. Palmer is as well-prepared as any quarterback in the league to block out egos and just try to make plays. While his numbers were very pedestrian as he came back from missing most of 2008 with an arm injury, he remains a cerebral quarterback and if his arm strength returns, he could be the comeback player of the year.

2 – The Fit
Owens is not nearly as fast as he once was, and he does not have the most reliable hands in the league, but he has the potential to find quite a few openings with Ochocinco stretching the field and rookie TE Jermaine Gresham attracting the attention of linebackers or safeties. It has the potential to fit the same way Katy Perry fits in a bikini – snug and very flattering.

3 – Owens’ Maturity
Has T.O. really matured? It’s hard to say, but despite his previous track record of being an enormous headache, he was very tame last season. Despite playing for a horrendous Bills team with quarterbacks that were more useless than Carrie Underwood in a Chelsea bar, Owens did not ruffle feathers. He posted his weakest season totals since he was a rookie, yet he was almost a model citizen. Has he realized that winning is more important than his diva act? Perhaps. Or was it just but on the back burner until he had the proper spotlight to promote himself? I want to believe that he will be entertaining, yet will play hard and not be a locker room cancer.

4 – The Competition
The AFC North should be extremely compelling this season, with Baltimore, Cincinnati and Pittsburgh all eyeing the division title. Yet the Ravens are dealing with a banged up secondary – particularly Ed Reed. The Steelers could find themselves in a hole early without Big Ben under center, and their defense was not as strong in 2009 as typical Pittsburgh defenses. Add that to the very young secondary in Cleveland and the Bengals look to have a very good chance to improve upon their poor 26th ranked passing offense.

Owens will no doubt form the most entertaining wide receiver combo with Chad Ochocinco, and when you add Antonio Bryant to the mix (whatever short time he is healthy), the Bengals could have a very potent passing offense that could help to balance the Cedric Benson-led running game. That could make the Bengals very dangerous, so you better getcha popcorn ready.

Breaking Down the QB Prospects

As I mentioned yesterday, I am not the type to do a mock draft post. There are too many variables, too many trades and too many linemen that all I would be doing is aggregating the mock drafts I’ve seen on other more informed sites and then guessing to fill in the blanks. Do we really know what the Redskins are going to do with the 4th pick? And there is a pretty good chance that what Kansas City does at #5 could change dramatically based on what the Skins do ahead of them or if they get a godfather offer from Cleveland at #7, etc. It’s not worth the time or effort. I’m all about being efficient. Well, I’m also all about a good beer, a close sports game and pictures of Carrie Underwood – but you already knew that.

Yet I remain extremely intrigued by the top quarterbacks in this year’s draft, especially after watching Jon Gruden dissect them. So with the caveat that I don’t have access to game film, I have only seen each guy play a handful of times, and I’ve seen the Gruden special and the SportsCenter highlights, here are my thoughts on the top quarterback prospects:

Sam Bradford
Appears to be a very cerebral quarterback with the ability to correctly read a defense and throw an extremely accurate ball. Obviously in all the meetings and pro days, you can’t knock him down on his shoulder to make sure he’ll get up. But he looks noticeably bigger now than he did during the season (he said he’s gained 15-20 pounds of muscle) and he’s going to need it. He doesn’t seem to have a “commanding presence” which could be a concern for his leadership ability when he has to get in the huddle with guys 10 years older than him and command their respect. Matt Ryan had that confidence and swagger, and I’m not sure Bradford does.

Overall Prediction/Guess: A solid pro to build your team around and worth the #1 pick for the Rams who desperately need a QB and a face for the franchise – potentially a Kerry Collins clone. Not spectacular, but Collins has been in the league for 15 years, never led the league in passing yards but finished in the top 10 four times and has been a pretty good locker room guy. And if you exclude the record in Oakland during 2004-2005, he is 2 games over .500 as a starter. Obviously here’s to hoping Bradford doesn’t have the alcohol problem that plagued Collins.

Jimmy Clausen
Clausen looks smallish but has a strong arm and improved his accuracy considerably during his last season at Notre Dame. He definitely has the swagger and leadership qualities to play quarterback in the NFL, not the least of which is his toughness and ability to play through pain. That will gain him some locker room credibility. He also played in an NFL-style system, so the offense won’t surprise him. The speed and athleticism of NFL defenders will though, and his penchant for getting sloppy and making bad decisions will need to be curtailed. Seriously, look at the picture. It’s the definition of bad decision making. Then again, that might be the best available at Notre Dame.

Overall Prediction/Guess: Get ready for the rollercoaster ride whoever takes Clausen. I liken him to Jake Plummer, a good athlete with the will to win and an attitude to never give up. Plummer was maddening because he had the skills but continually turned the ball over, which is why he had 161 INTs to go with 161 TDs in his career. All that said, if he’s there at #13 when the 49ers are on the board, I think they should jump on him like Big Ben on an underager.

Colt McCoy
McCoy is the most intriguing quarterback in the draft from my perspective. He lacks the ideal NFL quarterback height, but he has a rocket for an arm and is stout and jacked. He also has the leadship, fire and personality to command the respect of his teammates. He’s a gamer and appears to be a student of the game, understanding the need for film study and the need to continually refine his game and dissect how the defense is making adjustments. He’s a proven winner and experienced at the college level, allowing him to mature and be ready for the next level.

Overall Prediction/Guess: McCoy has the potential to be the best quarterback in this draft. Gruden kept comparing him to Drew Brees, and I think that is a very good comparison. The other comparison that I see is Jeff Garcia – another undersized passer who was athletic and among the best quarterbacks in the league from 2000-2002.

Tim Tebow
Tebow is the hardest working quarterback and possibly overall player that will be in the draft. As much as I find fake the squeaky clean perfect all-American image, he does genuinely come across as a good kid. He has a ton of work to do if he wants to play quarterback, and has already completely remade his throwing motion. However the question is whether he will be able to maintain that new motion when Ray Lewis has a bead on him. In addition, he needs to learn to take a snap from under center, read the defense while backpedaling or run playaction. It is a lot to ask of a kid, but Tebow seems determined to make it happen.

Overall Prediction/Guess: I think Tebow will be a decent value pick…..in the 5th round. However, someone is going to overreach and take him in the late second or early 3rd round. He’s a project that will need 3 years on the bench before he’s ready to ever see the field, but could be effective at some point. I don’t actually see a good comparison for Tebow, but possibly the ceiling would be Mark Brunell. An athletic lefty that toiled on the bench for a while before getting his shot and being successful.

Weekend Hangover - Love/Hate

LOVE

- The Jon Gruden “QB Camp” show on ESPN was absolute gold. Not quite “Carrie Underwood at the Country Music Awards show” gold, but extremely entertaining. Gruden has a passion for the game and an understanding of the quarterback position that is on par or above anyone in football today. He also has a sense of not taking himself too seriously (calling himself the FFCA – the Fired Football Coaches of America) while getting his point across to the young quarterbacks. I have to believe the only reason he’s not coaching somewhere is because he doesn’t want the stress – he loves the game and gets full access to all the players and all the film while toiling away at ESPN. Yet something tells me he will be back on the sidelines soon. Watching him dissect film with Sam Bradford, Jimmy Clausen, Colt McCoy and Tim Tebow showed an insight into the players’ personalities as well as what Gruden cherishes in his signal callers. I won’t be doing a mock draft (I don’t try to understand the nuances of offensive lineman – they need to have long arms. Or they don’t – see Joe Thomas) so maybe tomorrow I’ll give my thoughts on each quarterback just from what I’ve seen of them playing and watching this heavily edited show. (that’s my caveat in case my predictions are as bad as my NCAA basketball picks)

- During last night’s country music awards show, LL Cool J came out to introduce an award and opened by saying “this is my first country music awards show.” Really? You don’t say. You mean “Momma Said Knock You Out” and “Around The Way Girl” didn’t qualify for country music awards. That was the second most surprising part of the show. The first was trying to figure out who Laura Bell Bundy was and if she was actually the offspring of Al Bundy on Married With Children.

- Watching the NBA playoff games this weekend and a familiar script took shape in every game I watched: Cleveland vs. Chicago, Atlanta vs. Milwaukee, Los Angeles vs. Oklahoma City and Orlando vs. Charlotte. In every game, the favorite jumped out to a big lead of 20+ points, then in the second half the underdog rallied to get back in the game, only to have the favorite keep them at a punching distance despite the tries by the announcers to make you believe it was a close game. I suppose it’s to be expected considering the short shot clock and the “momentum officiating” that is so prevalent in the NBA, but it didn’t make for entertaining basketball to watch. I turned off each game for a considerable time in the middle of each game knowing I could come back in a half hour and the game would be closer.

- The Lakers struggled down the stretch of the regular season, giving hope to fans of the Mavs, Suns, and the rest of the Western conference. Well, Andrew Bynum came back to start the playoffs and suddenly, the Lakers look more like the team that was rolling through the league earlier in the season. Everyone will focus on Durant’s struggles against Ron Artest, but that’s not surprising. Artest has the ability to slow him down and we knew that. What we didn’t know was that Bynum would come back with a vengeance, scoring 9 points, grabbing 5 boards and blocking 3 shots in only 15 minutes of the first half. If he can get his conditioning back by the Western Conference finals, it will be as tough to slow the Lakers as it is for a tight dress to contain Christina Hendricks.

HATE

- Kevin Garnett has always played with a rage and intensity that bordered on lunacy. Well the elbow he threw at Quentin Richardson was dumber than Lindsay Lohan. He got himself a 1 game suspension for a Celtics team that has very little room for error. The game was over and there was no need for the elbow. Yes, Richardson is a clown and shouldn’t have been over there chirping in Garnett’s ear. But it doesn’t make it any less dumb for Garnett to fire the elbow at a useless nomad. He is a 15 year veteran and has to know better than that. On the other hand, it makes that series much more interesting, however due to the NBA’s horrendous scheduling, I have no idea when this series continues. Too many of the series have 2 day breaks between games 1 and 2 – there isn’t even a travel day!!

- I know the season is young and it’s not time to press the panic button for any baseball team yet. However I’m losing hope quickly on the Brewers chances to compete this season. Their starters are not up to par and their bullpen appears shakier than Ben Roethlisberger’s reputation. They have blown late leads regularly and it appears there is something wrong with LaTroy Hawkins shoulder because he does not have the velocity or strength that he had in his first couple outings. And it sure appears that the Brewers signed a left-handed version of Jeff Suppan in Doug Davis. There was a reason they let him leave town 3 years ago, right? And a reason the Diamondbacks were happy to see him go this past offseason, right? What made us think he’d suddenly regain a form from 4-5 years ago? Davis was spotted a 10 run lead on Sunday before he threw his first pitch and couldn’t survive five innings to qualify for the win. Then combine the poor pitching with pathetic offensive efforts like Saturday against the lowly Nationals and you have all the ingredients of a disappointing season.

- Speaking of the NL Central – there are little things that show when a team is for real. The Cardinals and Adam Wainwright showed it on Sunday. After the Cards and Mets went 20 innings on Saturday, blasting through their pitching staffs, both teams were in danger of wearing out their bullpen early in the season which could have long term repercussions for the rest of the season. Instead, Wainwright takes the ball and throws a complete game on Sunday night, giving his bullpen a day to recover and not have the extra inning game throw them off kilter. Those are the little things that make the difference. Imagine the Brewers needing to rely on Jeff Suppan, Doug Davis or Dave Bush to give their bullpen a rest. Exactly. That’s why the Cardinals will run away with the division.

- I caught a brief part of the Red Sox game against the Rays on Sunday afternoon, and a random note that the announcer made kind of blew me away. After a strong play by the Ray’s left fielder (I’m too lazy to look up who it was) of a ball bouncing off the Green Monster at Fenway, it was noted that the guy was comfortable at Fenway because it was his 70th game at the stadium. 70th!!! And he’s never played for the Sox. If that’s not a sign that the baseball season is too long and too imbalanced with divisional games, I don’t know what is.

- Two quick thoughts on announcers. Vin Scully celebrated his 60th anniversary announcing games. His first game was in 1950. That is incredible. He has one of the best voices, tells amazing stories and also weaves in a tremendous amount of information into his playcalling. Listen to his play call of the infamous Bill Buckner call. Listen to his call of the Kirk Gibson homerun in the 1988 World Series. Just pure verbal poetry. On the other end of the spectrum, I listened to some of the Orlando-Charlotte game on TNT and heard Kevin McHale doing the color commentating. McHale’s knowledge of the game and understanding of the nuances of playoff basketball is beyond reproach. Yet much like I have a face for radio, McHale has a voice for something other than broadcasting. I can’t put my finger on it, but his voice has a nasal tone or something that was like nails on a chalkboard. Play to your strengths, and announcing is not McHale’s strength.

Super Bowl Weekend Hangover - Love/Hate

LOVE

- Sean Payton, Drew Brees and Gregg Williams deserve every bit of praise they get after this game. The Saints won the game by staying aggressive, playing with nothing to lose and taking it to the Colts over and over again. They played like the team that wanted it more and for that they deserve credit.

Payton almost made himself the goat with a poor decision to go for it on 4th down trailing 10-3 late in the first half. Thankfully for him the Colts went ultraconservative (more on that below) and gave the Saints a chance to put points on the board and get momentum before the half. Yet Payton redeemed himself with an amazing onside kick call. The thing I liked about it was that Payton is known as an aggressive players coach and he stayed true to his colors on the biggest stage he has ever coached on.

Brees and the offense got off to a slow start but his stats by the end of the game were incredibly impressive, going 32-39 including 29 of his last 32. He was completely in command during the game, moving around in the pocket to get extra time and finding the right receivers at the right time. If you want a good article about Brees and how he has always been an ultracompetitive, great athlete despite not having the ultimate size to be a pro athlete, check out this article from Saturday’s NY Times.

Gregg Williams was masterful against Manning and the Colts offense. That ended an impressive run by the Saints by beating 5 Super Bowl winning quarterbacks during one season, culminating in a string of Kurt Warner, Brett Favre and Peyton Manning. While normally this would vault Williams into contention for some head coaching positions, his past record coaching Buffalo (17-31) means he is probably best suited to just focus on being a defensive coordinator.

- Commercials :

While the commercials overall seem to get weaker every year, there were a few highlights. I always enjoy the E-Trade commercials with the baby. Loved the jealous girlfriend asking if “that milk-aholic Lindsey was over” – awesome. The Google commercial was the most intelligent commercial where they basically slammed an entire romantic comedy movie into a 30 second commercial all using Google searches. So much so that the girls made us go for an immediate replay. Also really loved the Jim Nantz commercial, particularly when he dropped the “How about No?” line on the guy. Although I don’t remember what the commercial was for – Dove for Men maybe?

Yet the highlight of the commercials for me was the dialogue among the group I was watching the game with during a local commercial in the second half for the NY lottery. The commercial shows an adult jumping into a huge pile of the play balls like at Chuck E. Cheese, which led to most everyone reacting with disgust because of the perception that kids like to pee in the balls. When one of the girls asked why, we guessed that it was because the kids were half buried, no one’s really looking and they’re little kids. To which she responded with perfect timing “Well it’s not like I pee under my desk because no one’s looking!” Great point. This may or may not have been the brandy talking, as we had easily polished off the bottle making brandy old fashioneds.

- The coverage from CBS – I didn’t see any shots of Kim Kardashian (did I miss it?) and minimal shots of the Manning family. They kept it a very clean telecast with a focus on a football game that was very cleanly played (minimal penalties) and dramatic, though not as high scoring as many (myself included) predicted. Can someone please get musicians under 50( or 70?) for the halftime show in the next few years. The music of The Who is fine, just not during halftime of the Super Bowl. I mean, did they keep their walkers and defibrilators next to the stage during the show? They had their “farewell” tour 30 years ago!! I understand they need to keep it safe since the Janet Jackson episode, but wouldn’t Kenny Chesney be safe? Wouldn’t Carrie Underwood be safe? (at least she got the National Anthem) Jay-Z? Beyonce? Alicia Keyes? There are quite a few options for musicians that don’t have to go backstage after the show and toast a nice glass of Metamucil.

- Was there any more of a sure thing than this year's Hall of Fame class including Jerry Rice and Emmitt Smith? Other than betting on Carrie Underwood looking impressive to sing the National Anthem, it was the safest bet you could possibly make this weekend (as evidenced by my incorrect pick on the game and the over). And while Emmitt had a horrendous run attempting to make it as an ESPN commentator, he gave a great interview talking about his father telling him that he had lived both of their dreams during his life. That was pretty cool.

On a somewhat related topic that probably belongs under the "hate" category, did anyone have a worse week/weekend than the NFL Network? Michael Irvin gets accused of sexual assault in a civil suit. Warren Sapp gets arrested for domestic abuse on his girlfriend. Both are NFL Network contributors. Ouch.

HATE

- Didn’t like the Snickers/Betty White commercial. I thought it was way overrated and not that funny. Yes, it was somewhat comical that Betty White got tackled in the mud. But then taking a bite of a Snickers bar turned the guy back into a wimpy looking toolbox. So let me make sure I have the commercial right – if you don’t eat Snickers, you are Betty White. If you do eat Snickers, you’re a nerdy looking wimp? I don’t really like my options, so I’m going to pass on the Snickers and maybe build a house out of Bud Light. Probably not the message the people at Snickers were looking for.

And last add on commercials – do you really think Brett Favre is driving a Hyundai? Once again proving it’s about the money for him, he does an add with Hyundai when I can’t see him behind the wheel of anything that’s not an Escalade, pick up truck or SUV. And didn’t Sears already exploit the whole indecisiveness in a commercial?

- Are the Colts the Atlanta Braves of the NFL? The Braves won countless consecutive division titles and multiple World Series appearances during the 90’s. They had the best pitching staff in baseball with John Smoltz, Tom Glavine, Greg Maddux and others including Steve Avery. Yet they only have one World Championship, which came in 1995. The Colts have won the most games of any team in the NFL during the decade and have won their division almost every year. They also have the most prolific passer in the game in Peyton Manning. And after all of that, they only have one title and Peyton Manning is 9-9 in the playoffs. I’m too lazy to look up the actual numbers, but I would guess more than half of those games have been at home or as favorites because of their strong regular seasons.

- Enough with the whole “winning a Super Bowl saves the city” story. Honestly, winning a Super Bowl does not rebuild the homes in the Lower Ninth Ward. I get that they love their Saints and this gives them a sense of pride. Yet when the party ends in a week or two, they still have to go back to the neighborhood where half the houses are still boarded up. I guess at least they’ll be standing in the wreckage with a smile on their face?

- How did 2004 Peyton Manning somehow take over Peyton 2009’s body and play the Super Bowl? Calling 3 running plays near the end of the half, locking in good field position for the Saints and allowing them to get a FG to make up for the momentum they lost when failing on 4th down the previous possession? He suddenly went from the robotic guy with the cold, calculating stare knowing he was sizing up and dissecting the other team to the unsure, indecisive guy that couldn’t beat the Patriots.

- I don’t know if Reggie Wayne was more hurt than anyone let on, but he did not look right. And he flat out dropped the final pass, which would have brought the Colts within a touchdown and given them a chance for an onside kick.

Weekend Hangover - Love/Hate

LOVE

- College basketball put on quite a show this weekend. Without any football (and my wife away for the weekend), there was no reason to do anything except watch college basketball. And I took full advantage of it, watching 8 of the top 11 teams in the country on Saturday. And it was a heck of a performance by college basketball itself, with multiple buzzer beaters, overtimes and great players.

- Kansas will make it to the Final Four. Why? What do Sherman Douglas, Khalid El-Amin and Mateen Cleaves have in common? They have all won in the Final Four, and they are all short, fat point guards. Kansas is led by Sharon Collins, a short, fat point guard. And if you don’t believe that, then how about their overrated, slow, white center, Cole Aldrich? He’s a perfect match for Eric Montross, Greg Ostertag or Tyler Hansborough – all overrated, slow white centers with Final Four appearances.

- Jimmy Dykes is the best college basketball color analyst in the country, and it’s not even close. Dykes typically covers the SEC for ESPN games along with Brad Nessler, and he has the ability to break the game down, pointing out the real nuances of the game (rebounding, defense, the extra pass and free throw shooting) that make the difference between winning and losing. Dykes also is not afraid to criticize a player or coach for a bad decision, which I think shows confidence in his knowledge of the game. Dykes played under Eddie Sutton at Arkansas before spending years as an assistant college coach and a pro scout, so his knowledge of the game is solid. Yet, he’s also highly entertaining, with the ability to let a big moment speak for itself with an understated excitement in his voice. He is the exact opposite of ESPN’s flagship blowhard, Dick Vitale. While I appreciate the enthusiasm Vitale brings, he clearly has lost the motivation to prepare for games, instead focusing on promoting his friends who donate to charity and yelling for the purpose of yelling. It’s a shame ESPN continues to promote Dicky V, and Dykes goes underappreciated by most. Vitale is more washed up than Jennifer Lopez – who by the way, looked like she couldn’t breathe in her dress last night at the Grammys.

- Ohio State’s Evan Turner is the best player in the country. He missed some games earlier in the season with a back injury from falling after a dunk, but he is back, healthy and as dangerous as anyone in the country. He can shoot from the outside, get to the hoop off the bounce, play defense (4 steals in the first half against Minnesota on Sunday), and rebound. Of all the players I watched this weekend, he has the most talent and the most complete game. He fills up the stat sheet the way Carrie Underwood fills up a dress for an awards show – no one talent outweighing the full package.

- As long as we’re talking about Carrie Underwood, for those of you that watched the Grammy Awards, it was a really amazing Michael Jackson tribute. As impressive as it was, I had a couple of questions that need to be answered. What was up with the weird 3-D thing they tried to do? It was lame – I didn’t have 3-D glasses – so it was all blurry and I felt like I was drinking backstage with Kings of Leon. And they had an extremely impressive group singing with Celine Dion, Smokey Robinson, Usher, Carrie Underwood, and Jennifer Hudson. Yes, Jennifer Hudson. How did she make the cut? I have no idea. I mean, she can sing I guess, it just seemed like a bigger star would have been more appropriate.

HATE

- Kansas State will be an early flame out in the NCAA tournament……again. Why am I so sure? Everyone loves the emotions and weird faces of their coach, Frank Martin, yet that is the reason his team will not advance deep into the March tourney. The Wildcats have taken on the personality of their fiery coach, yet their emotions run too hot and it costs them on the court. In their overtime loss to Kansas this weekend, mental errors cost the team over and over again, from two lane violations during free throws to out of control shots and turnovers at crucial times. Their starting point guard – who happens to be the second cousin of Roberto Clemente – plays at a frenetic pace that is even too fast for himself, leading to terrible shot selection – like Saturday when he went 4-15 from the field.

- Remember when Billy Donovan was relevant? After taking one exceptional recruiting class to a couple of titles, Billy has sat back on his laurels and is now just an egotistical pudgy look-alike for Eddie Munster. His current Gator team is good enough to scare some teams if they get into the dance, but they won’t last long. And I’m not really sure Billy cares. He was content to trade interest from Kentucky into more money from Florida a few years ago, and appears to have lost some of his fire.

- I think Rick Barnes of Texas went to the Lane Kiffin school of coaching. Or maybe it is the other way around? Either way, both guys have a knack for recruiting an insane amount of talent to their programs, yet they are not good coaches. Texas has as much, if not more, athletic and talent than any basketball team in the country. Yet they have no idea how to play together, they lack focus (as evidenced by their 19-31 free throw performance in their OT loss to Baylor on Saturday), and they don’t play any defense. Damion James has all the tools (he put up 20 points and 19 boards against Baylor) but his teammates have no idea how to get him the ball with a chance to score, and the Longhorn offense wastes Dexter Pittman inside. It seems like Rick Barnes might be more useless once the ball gets tipped than the white(ish) guy in the Black Eyed Peas. I had to look up that his name is Taboo.

- So much for that Coach K and his teams that play such fierce and intelligent defense. The Dukies got shredded by Georgetown in D.C. with the president in attendance, and the Hoyas shot a blistering 72% from the field. I have no idea how Duke wins as many games as they do. I think they intimidate teams that aren’t mentally tough and teams that are surprised to be on the court with them, because they have the least athletic team in the country that doesn’t play in the Ivy League. They always flame out in the tourney once they get up against teams that know they are better than Duke, just like they got run off the floor by the disciplined Hoya team. Just like they lost earlier in the year to Bo Ryan’s disciplined Badger team.

- Bryant McKinnie getting kicked off the Pro Bowl team. What an assclown. I mean, at least have the dignity to fake an injury like the rest of your peers instead of going down to Miami and just partying and skipping practices.

For those of you new to the site, every Monday I recap the events of the weekend broken down into whether those events or thoughts are a “love” meaning I enjoyed them or it was good or whether they are a “hate” meaning it is poor behavior or annoying play. Thanks for stopping by, come back often, spread the word and become a follower on this site or a fan on Facebook.

Week 11 Hangover - Love/Hate

This week we're leading off with the hates........no real reason. It's my site, I'm in charge.

HATE

- It’s a known fact that Syracuse basketball plays great at Madison Square Garden in NY. Well I went there Friday night to watch the Orange dismantle the UNC Tar Heels in the 2K Sports Championship. And their fans are something to behold, with the majority of them having the physical attributes of two of the school’s famous point guards of the past: the face of Jerry McNamara (balding, whispy attempt at a goatee) and the body of Sherman Douglas (round – as wide as they are tall). Short, fat, awkward fans wearing their orange jerseys over button-down shirts, or over nothing at all, but ALWAYS complimented by a fat gold chain. And those are just the women. I’ve never been there, but based on their fans on Friday, I would assume that Syracuse’s campus is on wheels, double-wide, and could be hooked up to a large truck to tour the country.

- Despite the Bengals crapping themselves against the Raiders, these are not the “same old Bengals” that always find a way to lose. Thanks to the rest of their division losing, they didn’t give up any ground and are still in a position of strength. Losing without Cedric Benson after a horrific fumble in the last 40 seconds on a kickoff after giving up the tying touchdown is a terrible loss, but not crippling to the season. They get the Lions and Browns in the next two weeks, so they immediately have a chance to blow out an inferior opponent and prove it was a blip, not a pattern. The Raiders have continued to play hard for Tom Cable despite having a QB who couldn’t throw and an WR who can’t catch. What a difference replacing a joke in JaMarcus Russell with a below average option in Bruce Gradkowski makes.

- Can someone please explain the appeal of Lady Gaga? I really don’t get it. She’s a hideous freak with minimal talents. Oh, and her music stinks too. I don’t get her whole schtick of wearing outrageous outfits and acting like an idiot. I mean, why wouldn’t the American Music Awards spend more time showing Carrie Underwood? Or Mary J. Blige? Or anyone else for that matter? And yet for some reason, Gaga is all over the place and gets accolades within the music community, but she terrifies me and I have to immediately change the channel if her freaky mugg crosses the screen.

- The Broncos are officially in big trouble. After their improbably 6-0 start, they dropped their 4th straight, getting mauled at home by the Chargers. They are now a game out of the division lead and face turmoil, with some of their players accusing each other of quitting or not caring enough, including Brandon Marshall & Knowshon Moreno fighting on the sidelines.

- Losing to Northwestern was a complete embarrassment for Wisconsin on Saturday. They started the day with an outside chance to tie for the Big Ten championship, and went to bed tied for 4th place, and having purple footprints all over their backsides. Their defense couldn’t slow down the Northwestern offense, the Badger offense couldn’t produce points (2 turnovers) in their last three possessions, and WR Isaac Anderson showed off his stone hands for another week. Pitiful. Another trip to the Outback Bowl for the Badgers?

LOVE

- Matthew Stafford gave a glimpse of why he may have been worthy of that top pick in the draft and could potentially help the Lions franchise rise from the ashes. Granted it was against the hapless Browns, but this game amazingly turned into one of the more compelling football games of the entire season, resulting in a 38-37 shootout win for the Lions. Stafford dislocated his non-throwing shoulder on the second-to-last play of the game, but was able to elude the medical staff and get back into the game to throw the game winning touchdown, after a pass interference call and a strange timeout by Eric Mangini. Had Mangini not called timeout, Daunte Culpepper would have had to take the final snap. So it was yet another bad decision by Mangini in a season full of them, and it allowed Stafford to show his grit and make the winning throw. He threw for 5 touchdowns in the game, besting Brady Quinn’s 4 touchdowns. Amazingly, The Browns had only scored 5 offensive TDs all season before this game, and Quinn led them to 4 TDs in this game. Stafford proved he has the potential to lead the franchise in this game, and maybe we need to give Quinn a chance to mature into his position of leading the team. Or maybe his girlfriend from draft night knew something ahead of time, and didn’t stick around.

- The NFL underdogs rose up. With the Raiders beating the Bengals, the Chiefs shocking the Steelers, and the Redskins and Bills barely dropping games against the Cowboys and Jaguars, respectively, the meek of the league had a surprising resurgence. During the first half of the year, the oddsmakers couldn’t make spreads wide enough as these poor teams continued to get blown out every week. But this week there were only 4 of the 15 games that were decided by more than one score. It will be interesting to see if the spreads begin to get a little tighter down the stretch in the coming weeks.

- It’s going to be a great coaching carousel this off-season, in both college and the NFL. The Notre Dame job will be open (even Charlie Weis himself said he won’t be surprised if he’s let go), and there will likely be anywhere from 7-10 openings in the NFL, some in prestigious places like the Cowboys or Redskins and others in less desirable places like Cleveland and Buffalo. First, let’s stop the Urban Meyer to Notre Dame rumors – that is not happening. We’ve covered that in the past. But an interesting opening that might pop up after this weekend? LSU, where Les Miles flubbed a game against Ole Miss that could cost his team and school a BCS berth. Down by 2 points, the Bayou Bengals inexplicably let 17-18 seconds run off the clock before completing a pass with one second remaining at the 6 yard line. Instead of trying to sprint the FG unit on the field, or running a play for a touchdown, they tried to spike the ball. Of course, a spike takes one second and the clock runs out, game over. After the game, Miles was asked who made the call to spike the ball, and he responded that he DIDN’T KNOW!! Blink, blink…..stare…….Uh-oh. Miles has never been Nick Saban, and won a national championship with most of Saban’s players, and something like this could be enough to get him bounced out of town. And it doesn’t even involve whatever is going on in the background of this picture…….not that there’s anything wrong with it.

- Aaron Rodgers erasing all doubt about who the best QB from the 2005 draft. Rodgers dominated the 49ers defense and has produced some great numbers this season, nearly 2800 yards, 19 TDs, and a QB rating of 102.6. While he is still likely a distant 5th in the MVP race behind Favre, Manning, Brees and Brady, he has been tremendous in keeping the Packers in the playoff hunt despite playing behind the leakiest offensive line in the league. And speaking of Favre, he may be playing as well as he has played since 1997, and as much as it pains me, he is right up there in the MVP discussion, and likely the favorite at this point. He has only thrown 3 interceptions all year, easily the least by any QB that has started every game (McNabb & Rodgers have the next fewest with 5).

- Wes Welker continues to light up the stat sheets. It is now time to stop looking at him as an interesting little mighty might and start to mention him with the best receivers in the league. The guy led the league in catches in 2007, was 2nd in 2008, and is the league leader thus far in 2009. After lighting up the Jets for 15 catches for 192 yards, he has 79 catches in 9 games, which is ahead of the pace he was on the past 2 years when he ended with over 110 catches each year. He is Tom Brady’s security blanket and has the ability to stop and start on a dime as if he controls his legs with a joystick.

Degenerate Friday!! Week 9 Picks

So, right about now, our dear friend Squirrel is probably getting a little nervous. In less than 48 hours, he’s going to be walking down the aisle to permanently attach that ball and chain to his leg from a woman that is way better than he ever deserves. Congrats, buddy!!! Welcome to the club of guys who have outpunted their coverage, yet somehow got the women drunk or crazy enough to say “I do” to us. Looking forward to seeing most of the crew outside Chicago this weekend, and we’ll miss the rest that can’t make it – but something tells me we’ll tip up more than a few in your honor. On to sports……..

Ummmmm, Mr. Agassi, please stop. Just shut up, and don’t tell us anymore. If you like to set things on fire, maybe you should have lit your books on fire. Tanking matches, wearing a wig, wearing lifts, doing crystal meth and not wearing underwear while playing? Seriously dude, why are you writing a book about this? No one wants to know this stuff.

Speaking of shut-up, here’s a big one for you, Roy Williams. That was a rather large bus you just launched your QB (Romo Pyle) and fellow WR (Austin Miles) under. Complaining about the way the ball is thrown to you relative to how it’s thrown to Miles, and disrespecting Miles by constantly referring to him as “#2”? Is this an Austin Powers movie or an NFL team? Way to have the team mentality now that your team is actually on a pretty good roll. Oh, and by the way, Roy, you lead the league in drops.

Last week, I finally got out of the .500 range, and I broke out with authority. Only it was to the downside, with a pathetic 4-9 record. I’m just going to call it one week of lost focus and get back to the .500 mark and beyond this weekend. There is a pretty decent slate of games, some big divisional matchups, some teams that are trying to climb out of terrible starts, and others that are trying to bounce back after a rough stretch.

When figuring out how to classify the games this week, I thought about a conversation I was having with my brother about an old friend of a friend and whether they still had their flat-top haircut. I responded that people still have mullets. That led him to point out that as long as there are fans of NASCAR racing and hockey, there will always be mullets. For both racing and hockey, the most exciting part of the sport involves crashes, fights, or fights after a crash. Those are the moments that involve absolutely zero intelligence, which tells you all you need to know about the sport, and those who follow them. And one last blast on hockey – I cannot be a fan of a sport where they call the jerseys “sweaters” because sweaters are for holidays and keeping warm, not for playing sports.

So, long opening, but let’s get to the games……..I don’t claim to be the most fashionable man on earth, but let’s go with some of the worst fashions of the late 80’s and early 90’s.

The Mens Cutoff Jean Shorts Tier
Men’s stone-washed cutoff jean shorts are hideous and should never be worn – ever. I mean do we really need to discuss this any further? This is the worst game of the week between two terrible teams.

SEAHAWKS (+10) over Lions (CRAPTASTIC GAME OF THE WEEK)
Lions are coming off a loss to the pathetic Rams, and the Seahawks got slapped around by the Cowboys. Seahawks continue to be beat up, and don’t run well or pass well, which is beneficial to the Lions, since they can’t stop the run or the pass. Yet the Seahawks still have the ability to rock bad teams when they come to the great Northwest.

The Grunge/Flannel Tier
Remember when everyone wanted to dress like Kurt Cobain and Eddie Vedder? Including the women? Hideous. You want to know why subscriptions to Playboy have decreased since the 1990’s? Walk around a big city or a college campus today and the girls aren’t wearing much more than they’re wearing on the pages of Hugh Hefner’s magazine. In the 90’s, girls were wearing huge baggy flannel shirts and pants up over their belly buttons, so dudes had to get those magazines to catch a glimpse of skin. Anyway, these are games with one decent or good team and one of the Screech Powers or Tori Scott teams.

JAGUARS (-6.5) over Chiefs
The Chiefs have been dealing with the distractions of Larry Johnson for the past two weeks, and now the fans are trying to prevent him from breaking the team’s all-time rushing record. Sadly, at his current rate of a meager 2.7 ypc, it’s going to take him more than 30 carries to get there. The Jags are coming off a game when everyone except MJD played like a jag-off, yet they’re still better than the young Chiefs.

FALCONS (-10) over Redskins (LOCK OF THE WEEK)
Falcons played well against the Saints, but haven’t quite learned how to finish games against top competition. The Redskins are nowhere near top competition. The Falcons may only need to score 13 to cover this spread. Even a bye week isn’t going to fix all the problems with Redskins. Do you think Zorn has his iPod hooked up to those headphones now that he’s not calling plays?

Packers (-9.5) over BUCCANEERS
Packers have struggled against good competition, but have beat up on the weaklings. The Bucs are the weakest of the weaklings. And this is a good week to put Clifton and Tauscher back into the starting line-up and let them have a nice easy week against some inferior competition. The Green Bay kryptonite has been giving up sacks, but thankfully for them the Bucs have no pass rush.

The Mall/Jersey Hair Tier
Using half a can of aqua net hairspray to keep your bangs 6-8 inches off your head and crimping your hair was supposed to be hot? I guess what’s more scary is the fact that this hairstyle still gets a decent amount of use currently in many parts of New Jersey and up north Wisconsin. Scary. These games have a couple of teams that refuse to die (like the hairstyle).

GIANTS (-4.5) over Chargers
Tom Coughlin has convinced his team that this game is a must-win and will save their season. That should be enough to overcome an up and down Chargers team flying across the country. The Giants will struggle to contain the deep ball to Vincent Jackson with their banged up secondary, but the Chargers defense will have a hard time slowing the Giants running game. In the battle of two average teams, take the home team.

49ERS (-4) over Titans
In the battle of highly drafted, bust quarterbacks trying to garner some value before their contracts expire at the end of the season, I’ll take the smarter guy – Alex Smith. The Titans looked revitalized last week, but Chris Johnson is not trying to run through the heartless Jags defense this week. Look for Michael Crabtree to have a chance to make some plays against the porous Titans secondary.

The Rolled Jeans Tier
Thankfully this was a pretty short-lived fad, and went away as fast as it became popular. Why would we ever think it was a good idea to wrap your pants as tight as possible around our ankles? And some people went as far as using pins to keep the rolls tight. These are games that have teams that could potentially make the playoffs, but you’re not going to reminisce about these games and how cool you were that you watched them.

Cardinals (+3) over BEARS
The last time these teams met, former Cardinals coach Dennis Green had his infamous “They are who we thought they were!” rant. Well, the Bears are still who we thought they were, a team with a weak pass defense and average offense. The Cards have won 3 straight road games, and while that’s tough to keep up, their defense should be angry after getting thrashed by the Panthers, and their offense should not turnover the ball as much as they did last week.

PATRIOTS (-10.5) over Dolphins
Last year in Foxborough, the Dolphins unveiled the wildcat and crushed the Pats. This time around, the Pats are coming off a bye, and the Phins are coming off a game where they needed to kickoff returns and a fumble return for a touchdown to beat the Jets. Brady didn’t spend his bye week in Cabo with Gisele, he spent it preparing to torch the Dolphins secondary.

Panthers (+13.5) over SAINTS
Almost two touchdowns is too many points to give, even to the juggernaut that is the 2009 Saints. Panthers have won 7 straight games in New Orleans and Louisiana native Jake Delhomme owns the Superdome (he started and won a game for the Saints before he joined the Panthers and won games there in college at Louisiana-Lafayette). Michael Turner showed last week that the Saints can be run on with the loss of Scott Fujita and Sedrick Ellis, which is bad news with Panthers’ second-in-the-NFC rushing attack (the Saints are the first) coming to town.

The Mullet Tier
As mentioned in the opening, the mullet continues to live on, a solid 20+ years past its expiration date. There were many different variations of the mullet, whether it’s the skinny guy leaning up against his IROC-Z28, or the guy with the sweet mullet and his Iron Maiden t-shirt, it was always a sight to behold. Anyone rocking the “business in the front, party in the back” look was definitely the coolest guy in the room. These are the prime time games of the week, almost all divisional matchups between playoff teams.

Ravens (-3) over BENGALS
Ochocinco reportedly sent care packages to Ray Lewis and his defensive teammates that contained deodorant so they wouldn’t sweat. The Bengals are for real, as evidenced by their prior wins over the Ravens (in Baltimore) and the Steelers, but crazy people like Ray Lewis and Ed Reed don’t need any extra motivation.

Texans (+9) over COLTS
The Colts allowed the 49ers to hang around in Indy last week, so there’s no reason to believe the Texans won’t do the same thing, as they have a much more potent offense than the Niners. Texans also need this game to prove that they are a legit contender within the division and the league.

EAGLES (-3) over Cowboys
Eagles welcome another divisional foe to the Linc, the site of the demolition of the Giants last week. The fans will be fired up to wash away the sting of the World Series loss, and try to forget the fact that they’re in Philly and they suck. The Cowboys now have to deal with the diva Roy Williams, and Romo will try to force the ball to him, leading to a couple of turnovers. The Eagles don’t miss much without Westbrook in the lineup because the rookie RB McCoy has been very good.

Steelers (-3) over BRONCOS
The Steelers historically have been extremely strong on Monday night and extremely strong coming off a bye. They get both this week when they visit Mile High Stadium. It’s almost as much of a sure thing as Carrie Underwood dating another athlete (I guess she’s on her second hockey player after Romo Pyle). Steelers have the best run defense in the league, which will be a challenge for Knowshon Moreno to open up the passing game for Kyle Orton.