Durant Over LeBron

I am now rooting 100% more for Kevin Durant than I ever will for LeBron James. Just based on the actions of these two superstars in the past few days, Durant has surpassed King James in class, maturity and overall likeability. LeBron James is like Kristin Cavallari – all the physical tools and a tremendous amount of assets, but just doesn’t get it and spends all their time trying to be popular instead of focusing on anything important. Durant, on the other hand, is like Jessica Alba – again blessed with all the physical tools to dominate, but she just goes about her business without drawing too much attention to herself other than for just being insanely hot.

Yesterday LeBron announced that he would reveal his free agency decision on a one hour television special to be aired on ESPN. It is the most ridiculous, immature and attention-seeking thing I’ve ever seen. And on the other end of the spectrum is Kevin Durant, who quietly tweeted that he signed a 5 year contract extension to stay with Oklahoma City. No press conference. No television specials. No dog and pony shows requiring the Russian billionaire owner to come visit him. The one thing that the Durant announcement was dripping with? CLASS. Something LeBron obviously doesn’t understand, which is surprising for a guy with an image as closely manicured as his.

And my opinion is that Chris Bosh’s decision to join Wade in Miami rather than join James in Cleveland speaks volume about what other players throughout the league may think of King James. Even if James decides to join him in Miami, Bosh made the decision to join Wade and not to join James in Cleveland (via sign and trade). If James was as good of a teammate as is portrayed by the media, wouldn’t Bosh want to team up with him, even if it was in Cleveland? And by doing a sign and trade with Cleveland, Bosh would have been able to get an extra year and roughly $27 million more. Yet Bosh gave up that money to sign directly with Miami and play alongside Wade….and no one else. They have 4 guys under contract – including Wade & Bosh! Yet that was more appealing than joining James in Cleveland. Interesting?

Is Brandon Roy Heroic or Too Risky?

Brandon Roy gave the Portland Trailblazers an inspirational lift on Saturday night when he made a surprise appearance in game 4 of their series against the Phoenix Suns. Roy has a torn meniscus in his knee that needs surgery and was not expected to be available for Portland in the playoffs. Yet Roy has conferred with the team doctors and determined that it cannot get worse by playing if he can play with the pain. In today’s NBA with the salaries that the players are paid, is Roy playing an act of heroism or an act of idiocy? I say heroism and any columnist that says otherwise is a hypocrite and just trying to stir up a story.

Everyone loves the story of Willis Reed returning to the court for the New York Knicks in game 7 of the 1970 NBA Finals with a severe thigh injury and on one leg leading the Knicks to the title. The indelible image of Reed hobbling out of the tunnel towards the court gave the Knicks life and was a crushing blow to the expectations of the Lakers. Or more recently, remember Michael Jordan pouring in 38 points with severe hydration and the flu in the NBA Finals against the Utah Jazz? The image of Scottie Pippen carrying his teammate to the bench late in the fourth quarter will forever be ingrained in my childhood hoops hero images. There are just as many stories of NFL players playing through pain and injuries, including Brett Favre too many times to count, Ronnie Lott having a part of his finger severed off so he could play, and Terrell Owens playing on a recently broken leg in the Super Bowl for the Eagles.

The case against playing has one glaring example and he happens to be on the opposing team in this first round series: Grant Hill. In 2000, Hill finished 3rd in MVP balloting but injured his ankle with 7 days left in the regular season. He insisted on trying to play in the playoffs against the Heat, and thus began his odyssey of ankle injuries that would last for the following 4-5 seasons, and transform his game from a dynamic slashing franchise player to a complimentary extra. Roy is a young franchise player and if his knee is messed up for the long-term, it will completely alter the outlook for the Portland franchise.

As a result, there are articles out there and a debate on Pardon The Interruption and Around the Horn whether Roy is putting the long-term good of the franchise at risk. Yet what are his options? If he sits out, does he get the LaDainian Tomlinson treatment? Tomlinson was slowed by injuries in the 2007 and 2008 playoffs and took a tremendous amount of heat for taking himself out of a game that Phillip Rivers played with a partially torn ACL. So Tomlinson was soft for realizing that he was hurting his team by playing when he wasn’t able to make an impact?

Roy is damned if he does and damned if he doesn’t. If he’s able to give the Blazers an emotional lift by making brief appearances and doesn’t hurt his team’s chances, I am all for him attempting to play. What’s more, maybe he’s capable of making a play or two which can change the momentum and help the Blazers get past the Suns. I think it is heroic and Roy should be commended for his willingness to do everything he can to help his team win. I’m as impressed with Roy’s determination and leadership as I am with Kristin Cavallari in a bikini.

Degenerate Friday - NBA Playoffs - EAST

Yesterday we broke down the Western Conference and now it’s time for the East……..By the way, great move by the Zen Master, Phil Jackson making his comments about Kevin Durant getting too many calls. It couldn’t have worked better. Yes, Phil had to make a donation to the league/charity, but he got in the head of all the officials before the series even began – just as he has done every single year he has ever coached (whining about the treatement of Shaq, the treatment of Jordan, etc.). And more importantly, Durant walked right into it, saying he felt disrespected. Durant should be focused on his team and his game, not comments from the opposing coach. Congrats Kevin, Phil now owns you and will destroy you from the inside out.

#1 Cleveland Cavaliers vs. #8 Chicago Bulls

Cavaliers odds: 1/2 to win the East, 7/4 to win the NBA Title
Bulls odds: 100/1 to win the East, 175/1 to win the NBA Title

And so the quest to keep LeBron James in Cleveland begins again. The question is whether a title helps or hurts the Cavs chances of resigning James. If he wins the title, does he then feel like he brought a title to his hometown and he could then move on to bigger and better things? Or would he feel the pressure to stick around and defend that title and create a dynasty in his home town? The Cavs have all the weapons to win the title surrounding James. They have the big man in O’Neal and depth with Ilgauskas. They have a forward who can score and rebound in Antwan Jamison, and a capable point guard in Mo Williams. Is Mike Brown a good enough coach? Is Brooklyn Decker a genius? It doesn’t matter when you have the best talent.

The Bulls have a solid group of talent on the floor, but the unrest between the coaching staff and management will be difficult to overcome. Vinny Del Negro knows that he is going to be fired after the season regardless of how the deep the Bulls go which has to have a psychological effect on him and the rest of the team. Perhaps the cause of the fight between GM John Paxson and Del Negro started because of Joakim Noah’s minutes, but maybe what pushed Paxson over the edge was Del Negro asking him why he traded a proven playoff perimeter threat in John Salmons that the Bulls could desperately use to try and match up with the Cavs. The Bulls are like Angelina Jolie in that they have some tremendous assets, but when you put the package together their brain trust is pretty messed up and she comes with a bunch of young baggage.

The Cavs have no value for gambling to get out of the East, but they are my pick to win the NBA title. LeBron is at the absolute peak of his game and I would love to see a Kobe-LeBron match up almost as much as ABC would love to see it.

First Round Prediction: Cavs in 5 games

#2 Orlando Magic vs. #7 Charlotte Bobcats

Magic odds: 10/3 to win the East, 6/1 to win the NBA Title
Bobcat odds: 65/1 to win the East, 125/1 to win the NBA Title

The Bobcats are a great story making their first playoff appearance in franchise history and are another success story for the oft-traveled Larry Brown. They play tough defense and gave up the fewest points per game in the Eastern Conference, which they needed because they scored the third fewest points. With the exception of Gerald Wallace and Raymond Felton, the Bobcats are a collection of cast offs and other teams’ unwanted assets – Stephen Jackson, Boris Diaw, Tyrus Thomas, and Larry Hughes. Much like Kristin Cavallari, no one really likes her no matter what she does. Unfortunately for the Bobcats, their best all-around player, Gerald Wallace has struggled against the Magic, averaging only 11 points per game, more than 7 points below his regular season average. That will make it tough when their second scoring option is muffled.

The Magic brought in Vince Carter to be the difference maker and bring them an NBA championship. Prior to the season, I thought pairing a moody guy like Carter with a demanding coach like Ron Jeremy…errr…Stan Van Gundy sounded as dumb as Michael Kay’s pronunciation of Alex Rodriguez’s name on the YES network. Kay insists on calling him Alex Rah-DREE-giz unlike the other 99.99% of the world that pronounces it Rod-REE-gez. Just another example of why Kay stinks. Anyway…where was I? Oh yeah, Vince Carter. Carter gives the Magic a legit second scoring option behind Dwight Howard and makes the Magic the next best option to Team LeBron. Like Emmanuelle Chriqui, they have all the weapons needed, but they fly slightly under the radar. They present matchup problems for the Cavs if they both advance to the Eastern Finals and would be a good bet to win the title.

For gambling purposes, the Magic are a decent bet to win the East and might be worth throwing some cash at. For some reason, I can see the Magic winning the East but can’t see them beating the Lakers or Mavericks. That doesn’t make much sense since I see the Cavs winning it all, and if the Magic beat the Cavs, then they should be able to beat the West champ, right? Not in my mind.

First Round Prediction: Magic in 5 games

#3 Atlanta Hawks vs. #6 Milwaukee Bucks

Hawks odds: 10/1 to win the East, 28/1 to win the NBA Title
Bucks odds: 65/1 to win the East, 150/1 to win the NBA Title

If someone asked you to name the top 3 teams in the East last weekend, you probably would have said, Cleveland, Orlando and Boston. The media is so hung up on the aging Celtics that they have failed to notice that the Hawks actually took care of the #3 seed with relative ease. The Hawks are loaded with talent, but all talent that doesn’t get many headlines. Most people know Joe Johnson because he is going to be a great booby prize that the Knicks land after they fail to land LeBron this summer as a free agent. Can you name the Hawks leading rebounder? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? It’s Al Horford, who averages 9.9 rebounds per game to go with his 14 points. They also have a veteran point guard in Mike Bibby, a scorer in Jamal Crawford, and an athletic wingman (that can match up with Rashard Lewis, Antwan Jamison or Paul Pierce) in Josh Smith. The Hawks are like John Malkovich in that they are tremendously talented and can fill a bunch of roles, but you never really think of them as a great leading actor.

The Bucks were dealt a death blow when Andrew Bogut suffered his elbow injury. With Bogut, they had the potential to beat the Hawks or the Celtics and put a scare into the Cavs or Magic in the second round. Unfortunately without him they are scrambling to have any sort of inside presence that would allow them to hang with any of those teams. The addition of John Salmons was pure genius and when combined with the signing of Jerry Stackhouse the Bucks found a perimeter game that more versatile and dangerous that what was being offered from Michael Redd. Scott Skiles has done a great job this season but the loss of Bogut will be too much to overcome when combined with the fact that rookie point guard Brandon Jennings is too small and not tough enough defensively. Jennings is an awesome offensive talent, but is a huge liability on defense. Atlanta is going to run continual screen and rolls with veteran Mike Bibby and Jennings doesn’t fight through the screens well enough, causing others to help out, leaving Joe Johnson or Jamal Crawford open jumpers. Like Lt. Dan from Forest Gump, the Bucks “ain’t got no legs” without Andrew Bogut.

The Hawks are an intriguing bet to win the East because of their ability to match up with any team in the East. The problem they have is that they don’t have a guy that can take over a game and carry the team on his shoulders. Joe Johnson can be clutch and Jamal Crawford could get hot, but do they have the ability to carry a team over an entire series? I’m not sure.

First round prediction: Hawks in 6

#4 Boston Celtics vs. #5 Miami Heat

Celtics odds: 13/2 to win the East, 12/1 to win the NBA Title
Heat odds: 40/1 to win the East, 90/1 to win the NBA Title

The Celtics are the Pam Anderson of the playoffs. They have aged considerably, but still have the headline grabbing assets and the ability to turn it on every once in a while. However, every time they make that big run and expend more energy, it’s going to take a toll on them and they will be slower to recover. Kevin Garnett was my favorite player in the league for nearly 12 years and it’s almost sad to see how much his knee has deteriorated and taken away his explosiveness. Ray Allen still has a quick and accurate trigger and together with the lightning quick play of Rajon Rondo they will be able to contain the Heat’s strength in the first round. Unfortunately, I see this as the final year of the Celtics window to win, and the window is not open wide enough for Big Baby Davis’s rear end or Pamela Anderson’s front court to fit through.

The Heat have quietly put together a nice season and are hoping that they have done enough to show Dwayne Wade why he should stay in South Beach and sign an extension this summer. They have allowed the second fewest points per game in the Eastern Conference and have the electric scoring option that has proven that he gets all the calls from the refs in Dwayne Wade. The question is whether the Heat has enough in their supporting cast to get them out of the first round and put some fear in the top teams. Jermaine O’Neal has played fairly well, but watching his old bones do battle against the ghost of Garnett will be painful to watch. Michael Beasley has shown strong improvement and maturity this season, but is still only shooting 45% from the field and is not a consistent threat. Like Sophia Veraga, the Heat have one outstanding asset that can only carry them so far.

Stay away from these teams for gambling purposes. The Celtics odds are a terrible value and should be avoided at all costs. The Heat are going nowhere even if they get out of the first round.

First Round Prediction: Celtics in 7 games

Overractions!

Chill out people. Seriously. Everyone and everything today is not the best or the worst. And things that happen in one game do not outweight an entire career. It reminds me of this scene from Austin Powers:


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Peyton Manning’s legacy has not been permanently altered because of the Super Bowl. Yes, it does halt the “greatest of all-time” talk, but he’s still among the best to ever play the game. Dan Shaughnessy (the d-bag writer for the Boston Globe with a face for newspaper) decided before the Super Bowl that Manning was better than Tom Brady. Then after the game he completely flopped to the other side. Way to stick to your guns Dan. The only thing that changes after the loss? He’ll never have the perfect Super Bowl record that Joe Montana and Terry Bradshaw have. He’s still on pace to set every passing record (other than interceptions) that Favre currently holds. He still has more MVP awards than anyone in the history of the game. He has more titles than Marino, Tarkenton and Jim Kelly combined, and the same amount as Favre. And he’s now set himself up to potentially have a great “Eff You” season of redemption next year.

So while the 2004 Peyton showed up for one big game, let’s relax on the “Peyton can’t win the big game” talk. Let’s keep in mind the fact that he inspired two of the riskiest and “on paper dumbest” decisions by opponents during this season with the sole goal of those decisions to keep the ball out of his hands. 3-time Super Bowl Champion Bill Belichick went for that fateful 4th down to play keep away from Manning. And in the biggest game of his life, Sean Payton tried an onside kick (the first ever not during the fourth quarter of a Super Bowl) with the same goal – to keep Manning off the field. Just because Marissa Miller did not make the cover of the swimsuit issue does not mean she’s not bringing the heat.

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Today another nasty snow storm has hit the east coast (and one also hit the midwest yesterday). If you just relied on the news coverage around here for the past 48 hours, you would have thought the world was going to end. The news casters were crying about how epic this storm was going to be and how everything was going to be a disaster. Listen, it’s the second big storm to hit Manhattan this year, and the second storm to hit the DC area in two weeks. It’s February – the heart of winter. Why are we surprised by snow storms? Why does the news act like the city has no idea how to handle the snow? This isn’t California or Texas. It’s the Northeast, the same place where they coined the term “N’oreaster” to describe the storms that come up the coast. So settle down and go grab a shovel. I’m going to go look for jobs in San Diego….or bartending in the Virgin Islands.

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The Milwaukee Brewers are going to build a statue of Proud to Be Yer Bud Selig to put next to Robin Yount and Hank Aaron outside of Miller Park. I have an idea for the pose they should use!! (see photo) I’m not sure there is a more polarizing figure in baseball. On the positive side of the ledger, he brought the Brewers to Milwaukee, kept them there, and brought in the wild card and interleague play. On the negative side, he forced out Faye Vincent, keeps Pete Rose out of the Hall of Fame, and while other sports were implementing salary caps and revenue sharing he allowed teams to spend 6-7 times more than other teams ensuring parity will never be a factor in baseball. And don’t forget the whole charade where he supposedly passed power of the Brewers over to his daughter while he was the “acting” commissioner. And the tremendously poor results by the team during his tenure. Once he finally sold the team to someone with deeper pockets, the team found some success and has a solid young base to compete in the future.

Are we overreacting to build the guy a statue? Especially before we build one for Paul Molitor? Molitor and Yount were the soul of the franchise for almost 15 years before Sal Bando (a Selig guy) ran him out of town to Toronto where he won his title and his World Series MVP. Molitor is in the baseball Hall of Fame as a Brewer and he doesn’t have a statue? Selig might be the Kristin Cavallari of baseball – some people love her, some people hate her, but very few people are on the fence. And I’m guessing Orange County has no intentions of building a statue of Kristin. And the latest rumor has Kristin dating Mark Sanchez now and if he had been able to beat the Colts, there’s a pretty good chance Jersey would have built a statue of the former SC quarterback.

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And finally, one story where it might be right to overreact: the NJ Nets. They are 4-47. Four wins in 51 games. You would think with playing a team on a back-to-back night, or at the end of a roadtrip, or a team that was out to late at the Hustler Club in Manhattan the night before the Nets would be able to do better than winning less than once every ten games. I was part of a high school team that went 2-19, so I feel their pain. And like the Nets, while there was a talent gap between us and every other team, a big part of the problem was the coaching staff (proven by the fact that we had a new coach the following year and went 12-9). The Nets coaching staff has been a disaster, as they fired Lawrence Frank early in the year and made Kiki Vandeweghe the coach, despite him never having a coaching gig prior to the Nets. To bridge the gap, they brought in veteran coach Del Harris to mentor Kiki on the job. That went so well that Harris quit about a month and a half into the gig.

The NBA record for futility was 9 wins by the Philadelphia 76ers in 1972-73. That team actually started 4-47 as well, at which point they fired their coach, Roy Rubin, and replaced him with Kevin Loughery. I guess it was an improvement as Loughery went 5-26. Those five wins came in a 7 game stretch, before losing their final 11 games of the season. That’s a painful record that the Nets are chasing. Get fired up Brooklyn – these are your Nets in 2012!!!

Degenerate Friday!! Week 5

Wow – Matt Holliday cannot feel good about himself – going from hero to zero all in one game. The guy hits a HR in the playoff game but then boots a liner with 2 outs in the ninth that leads to the Dodgers putting the Cards on the brink of elimination. While the drop didn’t technically cost the Cards the game, as Ryan Franklin gave up the two hits that tied and won the game (to Mark Loretta!?!?!), the game would have been over if he makes the catch. Last team in NL history to come back from 0-2 in a five-game series? The Padres in 1984 against the Cubs – the Leon Durham play - but at least we now know what happened. Just another example of the Cubs….....being the Cubs. (Am I taunting the Cubs fans? Yes, most definitely)

I hope the Phillies playoff games don’t take place on a Monday night, otherwise they might be short-handed since I’m pretty sure Jayson Werth is actually one of the Hardy Boys from the WWE. And let’s stop being surprised by Cole Hammels getting smacked around. After a great post season last year, the guy was 10-11 with an ERA over 4 this season. And he was terrible in day games this year, without a win and an ERA over 6. So why would Charlie Manuel start him in a day game? And why would we be surprised that he got smacked around?


New this week - a quick hit of 3 college games:
Alabama (-5) at Ole Miss
LSU (+7.5) vs. Florida
Wisconsin (+16) at Ohio State

Overall, week 5 is full of mismatched games, large point spreads, and only 3 of the 14 games have both teams with records of at least .500. Six of the games have spreads of more than a touchdown. I guess it is a result of the four teams with byes all having 2-2, 3-1 or 4-0 records (SD, GB, Chicago & New Orleans). This week the games are separated by a few Seinfeld episodes. There’s no way to do the show justice by only choosing 4 episodes, so I just chose 4 that are among my favorites, or at least have my favorite moments. I’m leaving out The Chinese Restaurant (Cartwright!), The Parking Garage, The Puffy Shirt (Well, I don’t wanna be a pirate!), The Cigar Store Indian, The Chinese Woman, The Secretary (Was that wrong? Because if anyone would have told me that was wrong….), The Soup Nazi, The Little Jerry and numerous great episodes involving Puddy – “Feels like an Arby’s night.” But that’s just the way it goes.

Last week was a vast improvement with an 8-6 record, however I lost the last 3 games, meaning I was sitting at 8-3 with the potential for a huge week until the Cowboys, Chargers and Packers all dropped a deuce in their pants. After a quarter of the season, there is a pretty clear distinction between the haves and the have-nots, leading to all the big spreads. While that would typically lead me to taking value with many of the underdogs, too many of these teams are just terrible and will continue to get blown out.


On to the picks......standard disclaimers (recreation, home team in CAPs, etc.)

“The Chicken Roaster” (Season 8, episode #142)
The episode where Jerry switches apartments with Kramer and the glow from the restaurant causes Jerry to start acting like Kramer. It is also the episode where George uses Elaine’s expense account to buy the ridiculous Russian hat. This show spawned the phrase “That’s not going to be good for anyone.” And that might be the most appropriate phrase for many of the teams in these games involving some good and some desperate teams. Another loss for the desperate teams and it might be lights out.

CARDINALS (-5.5) over Texans
The Mount Rushmore of old people still hanging on in sports includes Bobby Bowden, Joe Paterno and Kurt Warner. The rest has to be good for the creaky QB to hopefully get more in tune with his powerful receiving corps. Texans have been a terrible tease and are potentially the football equivalent of Kristin Cavallari from the Hills: Looks great, but there are some tremendous flaws (she's a money/attention whore, the Texans defense) that cause you to be very fearful of having money around them.

Jaguars (-3) over SEAHAWKS
I’m not necessarily buying into the Jags as much as I’m very down on Seattle. Even if Hasselbeck plays, their offensive line is banged up, so there is a good chance he gets knocked right back to the sideline. Another productive day for Team Hyphen!!

Colts (-3.5) over TITANS
This could be the week the Colts are due for a loss and the Titans are due to finally get a win, right? Wrong. Peyton continues his march to the MVP with another game over 300 yards passing against the pathetic Titans pass defense. Quoting the Seinfeld episode, if Jeff Fisher is asked, “Oh….I’m stressed” with the Kramer arm motion. After this week, it’s officially time for the Vince Young experience to play out the rest of the season.

Jets (-1.5) over DOLPHINS
While Miami got a nice win last week against a bad Bills team to get the Chad Henne Era off to a good start, the bottom line is that they are not very good. The Jets defense will cause fits for Henne, and Mark Sanchez will break out his new toy, Braylon Edwards against the struggling Dolphin defense. I look for a rebound after the struggles against the Saints, with a potentially safe game plan to rebuild his confidence. Last week they threw on multiple 3rd and 1 plays in the second half, and they won’t make that mistake again. And the most important addition to the Jets this week isn't Braylon Edwards, it's Calvin Pace - returning from a 4 game suspension to add even more weapons to Rex's defense.

“The Fire” (Season 5, episode 84)
This is the episode where Kramer’s girlfriend heckles Jerry during his comedy show, and George is dating the woman with a kid. When a fire breaks out at the kid’s birthday party, George plows over the kids, an old lady and the clown (played by Jon Favreau) to escape. The overall episode has its moments, but the show has my favorite Kramer scene of all time when he tells the story of saving Toby’s toe. The following games involve one team that is basically on fire – and not in the positive streaking fashion. More like fell-asleep-on-the-couch-with-a-lit-cigarette-and-now-the-trailer-is-on-fire kind of problem.


EAGLES (-14.5) over Buccaneers
Coming off a bye week, with McNabb returning and feeling the pressure of Kolb having played well in his absence, the Eagles will roll. The Bucs and Rams both have the potential to go 0-16 this year and will likely not put up more than 10 points against the rested Eagles defense, which allows for an easy cover. Andy Reid has a very strong record coming off of byes historically, and historically they have had to play better teams than this Tampa team (anyone but the 2008 Lions & 2009 Rams would be better)

Steelers (-10.5) over LIONS
Pittsburgh appears to have righted the ship last week, despite letting the Chargers back in late. Their running game will appear to be repaired against the Lions whether or not it actually is. The Lions are making progress without winning any games, but now face the possibility that Daunte Culpepper will have to start for Matt Stafford at QB. If it were 1999, this would be a major upgrade, and we’d all be talking about the Blair Witch Project. Unfortunately, it’s 10 years later, but the outcome is just as scary for the Lions.

Cowboys (-9) over CHIEFS
At some point, Romo Pyle has to be able to take advantage of some bad teams. And he needs to remember that his best weapon is Jason Witten. This could be the week against a bad Chiefs team. Still doesn’t change the fact that Wade Phillips will not be back next year.

RAIDERS (-15.5) over Giants
The Giants have been gambling gold this season and the Raiders are a mess. But with Eli’s gimpy foot, the G-men will play it conservative and while they will still win comfortably, they won’t cover the more than two TD spread. This could be an extremely slow and boring game to watch with the Giants grinding it out on the ground and the Raiders offense beyond inept. Would you feel more confident with David Carr or Fats Russell as your QB? Sadly, I think I might go with Carr.

Vikings (-9.5) over RAMS (LOCK OF THE WEEK)
The Rams have already been shut out twice, and it’s likely to be a third time against the tough Vikings defense. Minnesota will only need 2 TDs to practically guarantee a cover in this game, and Peterson will look forward to a cupcake defense after being held under 100 yards last week.

“The Serenity Now” (Season 9, episode 159)
Get stuck watching either of these games and you will be yelling for “Serenity Now!” These teams stink, these games stink. This episode also has Frank Costanza having a computer selling contest between George and Lloyd Braun which was based on Glengarry Glenn Ross. It also is the episode where Kramer installs a screen door on his apartment and gets tortured by the neighborhood kids. And of course, the catch phrase that Frank was supposed to say to keep his blood pressure from rising, yet he yelled “Serenity Now!” instead.

Browns (+6) over Bills
Who cares? David Puddy was the best recurring character in Seinfeld. From his Magic 8-Ball Jacket, to his work as a used car salesman, his penchant for Arby’s, or his on-and-off relationship with Elaine, he is pure entertainment gold. My personal favorite David Puddy episode is the face-painting for the NJ Devils hockey games.

PANTHERS (-3) over Redskins
I think by now, Jim Zorn isn’t even feeling pressure about his job. He knows he’s getting fired. So wouldn’t it be fun if he just decided to play the game like he was playing Madden? Go for every fourth down, blitz on every play, and call the same plays over and over if they’re working. What does he have to lose? I’m all for it.

“The Marine Biologist” (Season 5, episode 78)
My favorite episode of all time. Jerry tells Elaine War and Peace was originally named War, What is It Good For? and Elaine tells the Russian author Testikov that story while the electronic organizer Kramer gave her starts beeping. And the best part of the episode at the end when George tells the story of saving the beached whale – leading off with “The sea was angry that day, my friends...” We’re now into the best matchups of the week, where the teams are both fighting angry to get in better positions for playoff spots – like an old man trying to take back soup at a deli.


Bengals (+8.5) over RAVENS
Seems like a lot of points to give to a plucky team in the Bengals that has shown they have the ability to win close games. The Ravens will be angry after a tough loss to the Pats, but the Bengals defense is vastly improved and Carson Palmer has the ability to be successful against the Ravens defense. It's just too many points in a divisional game between teams with winning records. LATE ADD: Over the past 4 years, the Bengals aer 5-3 against the Ravens, and only once lost by more than 7. And now they're getting 8.5 points when they're better than they've been in recent seasons?

Falcons (+2.5) over 49ERS
Both teams are coming off of a bye last week, the Falcons didn’t play anyone and the 49ers walloped the St. Louis Byes. The Niners are very good, and actually resemble the Falcons from last year. So the Falcons are a year further along than SF and I expect Matt Ryan to have a big bounce back after struggling against the Pats before the bye – and perhaps after the game he can smack some Titleists into the Bay.

Patriots (-3.5) over BRONCOS
I’m picking all three road teams in the most competitive games…..which makes me a little nervous. Does the protégé in Josh McDaniels have an advantage against the master Bill Belichick? He does know where the bodies are buried, and knows all the check-downs, etc. However, he does not have Tom Brady, who appears to be getting better each week. McDaniels has Kyle Orton, and while I like his ability to pound Jack Daniels and crush chicks, he is not Tom Brady. Orton is a solid QB who generally prefers to take his chances off the field, and combined with the Broncos defense, they have the ability to stay in this game. However, at the end of the day, the Pats are the better team and will pull away.