Live From Alabama..........Squirrel!!

It's a special day - a double dip of postings. Why? Because we have late-breaking news with a live report from the ground in Alabama from none other than the reknowned T. Squirrel. If you want to get right to the earlier post with the NFL Wildcard weekend picks, click here. Otherwise I'll turn the floor over to Squirrel.................. (I've added the pictures independently from his story)

Greetings from Alabama- Roll Tide! First things first, did the rest of the nation hear the song.. "I'm gonna open up a can-a ala freaking bama" jamming all night long? If not, start listening as you read...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X6S4ic2mdL0

As ya'll yankees know, I'm not from here, nor am I an Alabama football fan, not that I have anything against Bama, I just don't really care, so that gives me an unbias platform to work from here. I happen to be spending the week of the national championship game in Alabama, so I thought I'd mingle with the locals for the game. --Disclaimer.. I don't really have any interesting stories anymore. I'm married and love my wife and baby on the way-- but,it was the party that almost never happened.

Its cold (17 degrees) and snowing here. Forecast showed maybe a 1/2 inch of snow for the area.... therefore, the news showed people buying generators and had segments about how to drive in snow, police telling people to stay off the roads, etc. That means that the city was shutting down, literally. My training on thursday ended at noon and friday is cancelled. The pre-game happy hour was at the local lounge, where I had one miller lite, which was one beer for every space heater they were using to heat the joint. Nevermind there is no snow accumulation and never was, but it was falling from the sky, so round up the kids and hide in the basement.

We called around and found an open food and spirits serving shack, (complete with heat and electricity) just a few miles down the road, so here we go. The venue was Heroes sportsbar in Anniston, Alabama. I do like being in the south, other than badly needing a meal that isn't fried chicken. There are bountiful college co-eds here, as we have in the midwest.. but they talk with such a southern drawl that it makes you think, not only are they cute, but they must be really stupid, which must be very attractive for the young collegiate male looking for a friend. Good talent was observed, and I love the braided pigtails, seen in -three- young ladies at the bar.. thats a real nice suprise, Clark, because the rest of the US doesnt see this outside of the 20 something halloween special in a skirt. Ladies, you've all done it, so shut your yaps.

I'll leave most of the game analysis to professionals like Trent, but a few in-game comments. Rough start. That was probably one of the most miserable opening drives ever, and nice fake punt interception on fourth and 1/4 field. Nobody stressed down here, it was early.. fan focus was on eating and drinking. Even when the star quarterback Colt McCoy, who may carry Texas to national glory, goes down, I expect to hear the crowd start chanting "shoot em like a horse" or other compassionate messages, but the opponents were quite cordial. Perhaps it was just because he jumped off the field without a Rod Tidwell style knockout drama on the turf. But here comes the Tide. Ingram scores the first TD for Bama, which puts them ahead 7-6 and heres comes the country jam.. I'm gonna open up a can-a alafreaking bama!! what the hell is that song? Evidently, I was the only one who didn't know, because it was like being in a damn barn.. boot stomping, yelping, (ala kramer and joe dimaggio), and singing along.

After a little morning research, i guess its a real song, see above. Doubled it down on those speakers for a defensive big man TD on the shovel pass int?? open up a can-a...!!! Fans must have gotten awfully nervous in the 4th after the freshman qb took it to the skies and made it close, but just as soon as the potentially winning texas drive was getting started, they opened up a can-a one more time. YEEEEE-Haw! And for my final Alabama pop-culture reference, picture me as the lady laying on happy gilmore's car ... "Mister Mister, GET ME OUTTA HERE!"

T. Squirrel

Degenerate Friday - Wildcard Weekend!!

Congrats to Alabama on their national championship. I was all set to run another picture or five of Colt McCoy’s girlfriend, but instead you’ll have to deal with a picture of the Alabama elephant. Can anyone explain to me why “Crimson Tide” is equated to an elephant? I mean, the school is in the south, and based on a random sampling of SEC girls (google Florida Gator girls or Tennessee Vols girls, etc.) their fans are nowhere near elephants. Pretty sure the injury to McCoy just adds more questions about his pro potential. Yes, he’s won more games at QB than anyone in history, but what does that mean? Second on that list is David Greene from Georgia and he’s now playing quarterback for……..exactly. I think he’ll be lucky to be drafted in the third round because he reminds too many people of Chris Simms or Major Applewhite. And to the credit of freshman Garrett Gilbert, he settled down and brought the Longhorns back into the game, but was still owned by the Alabama defense when it mattered the most. Mark Ingram is now the 4th guy to win the Heisman and the national championship on an undefeated team, joining Charles Woodson (foreshadowing for later), Tony Dorsett and Matt Leinart.

Using the momentum of calling the national championship game correctly, let’s dig right into the matchups this wildcard weekend for the NFL. No, it doesn’t feel cheap to cash that Bama ticket after the McCoy injury. Tila Tequila should feel cheap for posing for photos a few days after her fiance dies. Gambling winning should never feel cheap – cash that ticket!! I’m feeling good and expecting to go unbeaten throughtout the playoffs. Following last weekend’s 9-0 mark in the early games, why not shoot for the perfect 11-0 record in the playoffs?

BENGALS (-2.5) over Jets

Two trains of thought here: (1) A rookie QB on the road and (2) everyone has bought into the Jets as the click to pick. Even as I type this, I’m losing my conviction in the pick, but I will not waffle. The Bengals are playing horrible, but the teams have almost equally strong run games and strong defenses. The Jets have the top rushing attack, but the Bengals are 9th in the league in rushing. The Jets are 31st in passing and the Bengals are 26th. The difference is that Carson Palmer is capable of making a big play if needed, and he has the receivers in Ochocinco and Coles that will not drop the ball (that’s a shot at you Braylen Edwards). I expect Mark Sanchez tobe as stable as Mariah Carey accepting an acting award when he’s playing on the road in cold, snowy and windy conditions with the Cincy crowd pumped up to try and help the Bengals win their first playoff game in 20 years. I’m also a strong believer that when all of the media and public jumps on one team, go the other way. The Jets ARE built for the playoffs with a great running game and great defense. But like I just said, those are also the strengths of the Bengals.

Eagles (+4) over COWBOYS

Andy Reid is 7-0 in opening round playoff games. Wade Phillips is 0-4 in the playoffs. Romo has never won in the playoffs. There are just too many trends here to ignore. I still do not understand why the Eagles decided not to blitz last weekend, but you can bet they will be bringing as much pressure as The Situation at closing time in the Jersey Shore clubs. The Cowboys still have to overcome the pressure of winning a playoff game (like you haven’t heard a million times they haven’t won a playoff game since 1996), and if the Eagles get an early lead, expect the crowd in Jerry’s Palace to also feel that pressure.

PATRIOTS (-3) over Ravens

Losing Wes Welker will haunt the Patriots in the later rounds against the Chargers or Colts. It will not haunt them as much against the Ravens as Julian Edelmann is a “Mini Me” version of Welker. Ravens supporters will point to the game earlier this season in Foxboro when there were a handful of questionable calls and a dropped pass from Mark Clayton that kept Baltimore from walking out with a victory. However, Brady was not fully healthy and his accuracy was suffering and the Ravens secondary was not in as bad of shape as it is now with a hobbled Ed Reed. Also add in the Patriots are 8-0 at home this year, and 8-0 in the playoffs at home under Belichick/Brady. And the Ravens needed to beat the Lions, Bears and Raiders late in the year just to get to 9-7. That’s enough for me to lay the points with the Pats.

Packers (+1) over CARDINALS

The Cardinals do not match up well with the Packers. They played in the 3rd preseason game (the one where starters play at least until halftime) and the Packers exploded for a 38-10 halftime lead. Then last week, given the Cardinals resting players early, the Packers exploded for a 33-0 lead. The attacking Packers defense can give Warner fits, and having the defensive player of the year in Charles Woodson to shadow Larry Fitzgerald tips the scales even further. Side note: Darrell Revis is a great shut-down corner, but he IS NOT the Defensive Player of the Year. Woodson is a complete player that tackles, covers, blitzes, intercepts and returns INTS to the house. Revis does not do that….yet. Back to the game…..Rodgers will be able to continue to hit big plays on the Cardinals secondary, especially with a banged up Rogers-Cromartie. I want to find a way to temper my expectations for Green Bay in this game and the only thing I can think of is that it is Rodgers first playoff game and the Cardinals have experience and “streak-ability” on their side. That won’t be enough for the Cards and to quote Jay-Z….”It’s on to the next one” for the Packers.

The (Burger) Kings of the NFL

Mike Shanahan has been hired to bring a Lombardi trophy back to the Washington Redskins. Mike Holmgren was hired to do the same in Cleveland. Both guy have a big name, Super Bowl victories and adoring media heaping praise and expectations upon them. Holmgren was given the title equivalent to “Grand Poobah” with the power to hire (and fire) a GM and head coach, and ultimately control all player personnel decisions, much like the roll Bill Parcells has in Miami. Shanahan has been given the title of “Executive Vice President” in addition to head coach, meaning he as the final authority on all personnel decisions (cue the Office Space quote: “So what is it that you would say you do here, GM Bruce Allen?”). But there is no reason to expect great success from either guy, and not because of the situations they are entering. Both men are extremely overrated, and have failed when given the power they so craved. Both the Redskins and Browns franchises paid dearly for the big name and expect results that they likely will not see.

MIKE SHANAHAN

Shanahan was known as “Coach Teflon” in Denver because no matter how many mistakes he made, he was always able to lean on those back-to-back Super Bowl titles with John Elway and Terrell Davis. A hefty majority of his success can be tied to the three year stretch from 1996-98, when he went 39-9 (.813 winning percentage) during the regular season and 7-1 in the post season. Then John Elway retired, Davis got hurt, and starting in 2002 he made a power play to get final say in all personnel matters.

Outside of that 3 year run, his record is 107-89 (.546), which is still above Ray Rhodes or Romeo Crennel, but he was 1-4 in the playoffs during those 11+ seasons. The biggest anchor to his coaching success? His GM skills. He was so arrogant and stubborn he thought he could win with Jake Plummer and Brian Griese, and believed he would be able to harness Maurice Clarett - drafting him about 8 rounds too early, and there are only 7 rounds in the draft. He also signed multiple defensive linemen from the Cleveland Browns - linemen who had failed on a horrendous team - and somehow believed they would not be lazy and slow in the thin air in Denver. Among his other notable draft failures were Jarvis Moss and Ashlie Lelie.

Again, my point is not that he’s a bad coach. It’s that he’s a bad personnel guy. And yet Daniel Snyder and the Redskins were all too eager to whip out his wallet and give Shanahan full control over the football operations. It’s as confusing to me as why he always has that orange tinge to his skin - does he own a tanning bed like Pauly D from the Jersey Shore? It’s not that sunny in Denver.

MIKE HOLMGREN

As for the Big Show Mike Holmgren, he was given hired as the football guru in Cleveland to turn around the franchise that has 2 winning seasons since being reincarnated in 1999. They have blown the #1 pick in the draft twice on Tim Couch & Courtney Brown (later signed by Mike Shanahan to fix Denver’s defense). So now they have their football guy - a guy with a Super Bowl ring and 3 Super Bowl appearances - to get things corrected and bring the franchise back to its hey-day when they would get knocked out of the playoffs by John Elway or a crushing fumble every year. But is Holmgren really the right guy to make personnel decisions? Like Shanahan, Holmgren is a great coach, but he does not have aa strong track record with power/personnel.

He had tremendous success in Green Bay as the head coach, utilizing the players that legendary GM Ron Wolf would provide him with - Brett Favre (also Mark Brunnell, Ty Detmer, Matt Hassel beck & Aaron Brooks - all of whom were NFL starters for multiple years), LeRoy Butler, Santana Dotson, Reggie White, Desmond Howard, Keith Jackson, Andre Rison, & the best o-line in the NFL, etc. He then moved on to Seattle (costing the Packers the ‘97 Super Bowl to Shanahan’s Broncos by shortchanging his preparation as he prepared for the move to the Pacific Northwest. Yes, I‘m still bitter) where he was given the ultimate power over everything football.
Holmgren was the coach and GM with the Seahawks from 1999 until 2002, when he was fired from the GM position, but retained as the coach. Interestingly enough, the lone Super Bowl appearance with the Seahawks came in 2005, 3 years after Holmgren lost his personnel power. Coincidence? During his 4 year run as King of Seattle he had 6 first round picks, with only Shaun Alexander and Steve Hutchinson being impact players. His big risks and misses included Koren Robinson, Jerramy Stevens and Chris McIntosh. After he lost his GM title, the team drafted Marcus Trufant, Ken Hamlin, Michael Boulware and Lofa Tatupu, all key players on that Super Bowl team.

So in the end, Cleveland and Washington need to temper their expectations a little and know that they paid for big name great coaches. Unfortunately for Cleveland, only one of them is coaching. And both of them have their hands in the personnel cookie jar, which hasn’t worked out very well in the past.

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Given the news about Warren Beatty’s bedroom “success rate” together with Tiger’s tales and the legendary Wilt number - no, not the 100 point game, this is a pretty funny take on the Biggest Studs out there. Here’s the best excerpt: “There should be an adjusted OPS+ type formula. Degree of difficulty is huge. Being an absolute dictator (Castro), having women paid to have sex with you (Ron Jeremy) or being in a rock band whose apex came at the height of the hard drugs era and before AIDS (Gene Simmons) is like being a left-handed pull hitter in Yankee Stadium.”

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I still like Alabama tonight to win the national championship and cover the spread. It’s a great storyline to have Colt McCoy (and his talented girlfriend) go out a champion after his incredible college career. Yet Texas does not have the offensive line to give Colt the time he needs. Colt said it himself, already telling his offensive line the game is on them and if they give him time, they will win. I also think the Alabama quarterback Greg McElroy is still underrated and will play smart enough to bring home the title. Expect him to then get drafted a little higher than he should - remember Brodie Croyle? - and end up as a career back up in the NFL.

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Week 13 Hangover - Love/Hate

LOVE

- Finally after 13 weeks, I recognize that hillbilly with the gray-stubble wearing that purple #4 jersey. More impressive was the performance from the Cardinals. There is some concern with how banged up Kurt Warner is after missing last week with a concussion and injuring his hip at the end of last night’s game. However, the Cardinals defense completely shut down Adrian Peterson, and confused Favre on multiple occasions. Could they be the second-most-dangerous team in the NFC?

- The BCS Championship matchup: Love. Texas was lucky to get by Nebraska after some terrible clock management, and Colt McCoy cost himself the Heisman trophy. Why did they not use their timeout? Why did they call a roll out and casually throw it out of bounds barely leaving one second for the final kick? Maybe they were reading from the Les Miles/Andy Reid book of clock management. Here was a four-year starter at quarterback that didn’t appear to have a good grip on the game clock? In the end, we get the two big programs and probably the best teams playing for the national championship. Alabama looked dominant against Florida and Texas will have a tough time putting up points against the Bama defense, which is better than the Nebraska defense that stuffed Texas all night. I think the difference may come down to coaching, and it’s tough to go against Nick Saban with a month of preparation to come up with ways to slow down McCoy and the Texas offense. He's quickly put himself among the legendary Alabama coaches, Bear Bryant and Gene Stallings.

- Peyton Manning is better than Tom Brady. Case closed. No argument. Despite Brady having 3 Super Bowls to Manning’s one, it’s not even close. Manning continues to be a master with the Colts, crushing records, cruising through the league with new weapons around him, and running the team with perfect precision. Brady threw another 2 fourth quarter interceptions yesterday, and it’s been 5 years since his last Super Bowl title. While Brady remains in the discussion among the top quarterbacks in the league (probably still the #2), Manning is a level above him in every way…….except for the whole Gisele thing. Though he’s done pretty well considering he has more chance of being on the cover of “Herman Muenster Look-A-Likes Monthly” than GQ.

- The race for the NFC East just got a lot more interesting. While I still think the division is grossly overrated, the Cowboys and Eagles are tied at the top with 8-4 records and the Giants are now 1 game back at 7-5, and have swept the Cowboys. The Cowboys may have another December swoon, but it may be a result of their schedule more than anything. After losing in NY, they get San Diego at home and then go to New Orleans before finishing at Washington and hosting Philly. That is a brutal finishing kick. 10-6 would be an accomplishment and 9-7 would not be a stretch. Philly goes to NY this weekend, where the Giants have revenge on their minds and seem to have regained some confidence. They then have San Francisco and Denver at home before finishing at Dallas. That looks like 10-6 but 9-7 would not surprise me since the Eagles love to choke away winnable games. The Giants need to go 3-1 to have a chance, and after a home game against Philly, they go to Washington, host Carolina and finish at Minnesota. It should be an interesting run down the stretch

- Reason #2,321,768 why I will never be able to make a living gambling: The Redskins lose to the Lions, breaking Detroit’s 19 game losing streak, but then have multiple chances to knock off the 11-0 Saints. The “Bingo” offense showed life the past few weeks, and had Suisham hit the 23-yard field goal, they would have iced the game. Can Jason Campbell not handle the pressure when games matter, and as soon as the team is out of it, he looks like he could have the potential to be the Redskins’ quarterback next year? It sure appears that way. So while some might say it’s an example that the Saints can or will be beat, I think the exact opposite. They were able to pull out this game when they had a hangover from the Pats game, and didn’t play well. I think they will run the table. But I wouldn’t bet on it.

HATE

- The Fiesta Bowl matchup between TCU and Boise State. No one wants to see the two small conference teams play each other. We want to see them play against the “Big Boys” to see how they really match up and if they are as good as their unblemished records. The ratings for this game will be horrible. No one is saying “man, I really want to know if Boise State or TCU is the best unbeaten team that doesn’t get to play anyone.” Having them match up is not in the best interest of the BCS either. Now it is guaranteed that one of them will be unbeaten and can make a legit argument that they didn’t get a fair shot to prove they were the best team in the land. If you match them up separately against Georgia Tech and Florida, they both lose and suddenly it adds ammunition to the argument that the BCS works. Oh, and someone please show or tell me what the hell that hand signal thing is the TCU fans do?

- Grow up Tim Tebow. There is just something so contrived about the guy, and his big crying show he put on as he team was getting dismantled was another example of it. Of course CBS had to show his passionate/contrived speech on the sidelines imploring his defense to play better. Maybe he should have given that speech in the mirror. Random aside: Why would Florida break out the hideous alternate all-white jerseys for the conference championship game? They have strong colors in the bold blue and bright orange, and they hide all of it with white jerseys, white pants and a white helmet? Seems like they were taunting karma and got kicked in the jimmy.

- The mainstream media is going to tell us that Michael Vick is back after doing some stuff in Atlanta. Who cares? No one. He was able to get some things done in a blow out game when the Falcons had given up. It’s a non-story. The media is obsessed with trying to make a story out of this guy when he sneezes, drops a deuce or steps on the field. He’s about as relevant as Canada. Let’s just move on.

- The Steelers are going down faster than Lindsay Lohan on a table of nose candy. Four straight losses, including one to the Raiders and one to the Chiefs (who have been destroyed by the Chargers & Broncos). They are in absolute crisis mode and likely just knocked themselves out of the playoffs. I suspect this was not the “hell” that Mike Tomlin had in mind during the December. The bigger question might be whether Tom Cable saved his job in Oakland? The Raiders almost look like a pro football team, but who knows if all the off-field issues will have a detrimental effect on his long-term prospects. Someone please wake up Al Davis and ask him what he thinks.

- We’re about one more mistress away from Tiger Woods claiming he’s a sex-addict and going into rehab before the next golf season kicks off. Have you seen the latest one? After his best looking birdie (so far) came out, Jaime Jungers, he went “Steve Phillips” on us with Mindy Lawton. Yikes. I guess it’s probably just time to start bringing out women that aren’t skanks or waitresses (or both) from Vegas/Orlando that DIDN’T sleep with Tiger, as it might be a shorter list.

And Saturday Night Live did a skit about Tiger getting roughed up by his wife on the same show where the musical guest was Rhianna? That’s some unfortunate comedic timing.

And now the NY Post claims that the number is up to 9 for Tiger. Once he paid Rachel Uchitel to keep her trap shut (and I guess you could claim he paid her to keep other things open?), it opened the floodgates for every woman he ever had a conversation with to come out and offer up all the details for some easy cash.

- One more thing – so Notre Dame was turned down by Bob Stoops and now they’re going to turn to Brian Kelley at Cincinnati as their top target? Let me get this straight……they got turned down by their top target, and now they’re going after a hot name that is an offensive whizz, but doesn’t know anything about defense. Sound familiar? Five years ago, they were turned down by their top target, Urban Meyer, and they settled on an offensive genius who didn’t know defense in Charlie Weis. So how is this going to be any different or better?

Hitting the Links - Jennings, Southeast Football, Wrestling

LATE ADD: Forgot to make my Thursday night NFL pick. PANTHERS (-3) over Dolphins. The Panthers have found a rhythm, and Jake Delhomme realized what the Panthers' team colors are, which will be beneficial against the weak Dolphins secondary. Losing Ronnie Brown hurts, but Ricky Williams has been very good. Panthers continue their attempt to get closer to playoff contention.
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Brandon Jennings is starting to get some national publicity as the top rookie in the league. I watched a considerable amount of their win over the Nets last night. The kid can play, and he has an energy and electricity when he is on the floor, and he drives the rest of the team to crank up their efforts. He will likely hit a rookie wall at some point and will have to pace himself for a long, grinding season, but enjoy the excitement he has brought back to the Bradley Center.
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I’m late to the game on this one, but it was just pointed out to me recently. An Alabama football player was arrested for roughing up his girlfriend, and the girl’s father hopes that the player wouldn’t miss any time because it was “probably initiated by my daughter.” Blink, blink……stare……..jaw drop.
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I really don’t even know what to say about this – the Go Girl. I mean, so many strange questions – how big is it? Are you carrying that in your purse everywhere? Do you wash it after each use? So weird…..let’s just move on.
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Linda McMahon, wife of WWE czar Vince McMahon, is running for a seat in the Senate in Connecticut. That sentence is strange in itself, yet it’s not as interesting as “Superstar” Billy Graham going on a speaking campaign against her. He’s accusing the WWE of removing blood, and “bra & panty” matches from the wrestling shows since she started her campaign.
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Speaking of wrestling – MMA heavyweight champion Brock Lesnar had to pull out of a title defense and may never fight again due to having a hole in his intestine. Scary stuff and hopefully he’ll get healthy, even if he never fights again. The guy was a college wrestler, WWE wrestler, tried out for the Vikings, and then found the MMA. Oh, and along the way he married Sable, a former WWE girl.
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Not a ton of people are into soccer, but this is one of the most egregious and unbelievable things I’ve ever seen. It was an elimination game where the winner is in, the loser doesn’t qualify for the biggest soccer tournament that only occurs every 4 years. In overtime, Thierry Henry of France gets away with a blatant hand ball before playing the ball to a teammate for the tying goal. Henry admitted it was a handball and laid it squarely on the head of the referee who didn’t call it. Not sure that is making Ireland feel any better about not participating in the World Cup in South Africa next summer. The best view is at the 0:37 mark, but it might be worth listening to the German(?) announcer just for comedy purposes.
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Another week, another Tennessee football player is arrested. This freshman was shoplifting, which seems fairly innocent compared to the 3 guys busted for attempted armed robbery last week. Lane Kiffin is obviously a pretty good recruiter, as evidenced by his wife, but may not be the best judge of character. He’s transforming Tennessee to the new “U” of Miami, where it was more of a story when a week went by and a Hurricane wasn’t arrested.
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Not to dislocate my shoulder patting myself on the back, but Mike & Mike in the Morning are just now finally talking about the decision in the Jacksonville game. But as those of you who follow this site regularly know, we already covered it on Tuesday.
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I’m not a fan of cats in general. I don’t really understand them. They can’t play fetch, they can’t bring you the newspaper or your slippers, and they can’t protect you. They just lurk around your house or apartment and most of the cats I’ve ever encountered are moody as hell. So a site like this just doesn’t make any sense to me – pictures of cats with stupid captions. Seriously?