NFL Power Rankings - Week 1

Riding the subway in New York is brutal in the summer because if the air underground isn’t disgusting and stale to begin with, the heat adds an extra layer of stank to it. On top of that, you add the overcrowded nature of rush hour and sprinkle in a solid mix of homeless people and you have a pretty nasty cocktail. The other day I’m minding my own business on my way home, listening to my iPod when I catch this mangy dude stumbling through the train and I assume he’s begging for change. I typically enjoy hearing some of the more creative signs and requests from the panhandlers, like outside of dinner last night when a guy said he needed 50 cents to fix the rotary engine on his helicopter. That’s a good effort. The guy on the subway wasn’t actually begging, but instead he was hoping to sell something: Batteries. He’s walking through the train with an open package of batteries yelling “Double-A’s, triple-A’s, C’s & D’s – I got your batteries right here - $1 for a battery.” Who needs batteries while they’re on the subway? Not to mention they likely are used/dead batteries that he’s selling. Everyone on the train is using an iPod, iPhone, blackberry, kindle or reading the paper. None of those activities require Duracells.

So how does this relate to the NFL Power Rankings after the opening weekend? It probably doesn’t, but it made me think that while I don’t want to overreact to week 1 results, I have to stay with the times and not continue to proclaim that the teams at the top will remain at the top. It also reminded me of the days back when people used to use those big clunky Discman to play CD’s while working out and you had to be careful not to make the CD skip constantly. Well the Discman was released in 1984, so this week’s rankings are broken out by some of the top movies from that year.

The Terminator

1 – New Orleans

The Saints are the kings until someone knocks them off. They proved that they could win a game on defense by handling the Vikings when their offense wasn’t clicking. They have a very tough road test on Monday night to maintain the top spot.

2 – New England

The Patriots were the cold, destroying terminators in week 1, laying the smack down on the Bengals. They scored the most points in the league and despite the final score, their young defense shut down the Bengals early. Tom Brady had a helluva ride last week, getting in a significant car accident but escaping injury, signing a huge contract extension, lighting up the Bengals and all the while getting to come home to Gisele every night. I’d say that’s winning at life.

3 – Green Bay

Losing Ryan Grant is a significant blow for the Packers, and if GM Ted Thompson wasn’t so opposed to free agency or trades, they may have been able to add someone like Laurence Maroney (only cost the Broncos a 4^th rounder), Marshawn Lynch, or Willie Parker. Instead they signed someone off a practice squad. If the running game struggles, you will see a return of the “Ted Thompson Ruined My Christmas” t-shirts.

4 – Baltimore

Ray Lewis remains the baddest terminator in the league. That hit he laid on Dustin Keller was textbook and I’m pretty sure if he hit me like that, I would be dead. Not in the figurative sense – they would have to peel me off the turf and just take me right to the cemetery. The Ravens difficult schedule continues with another road game, this time at Cincinnatti where Palmer, Ochocinco and Owens will test their banged up secondary more than Mark Sanchez did.

5 – Pittsburgh

Don’t look now, but if Troy Palomalu stays healthy, the Steelers defense could return to its dominant form and it won’t matter who lines up under center.

Ghost Busters

6 – Houston

The Texans were finally able to rid themselves of their own personal Slimer – the ghost of the Indianapolis Colts. They also could have quoted Bill Murray’s Dr. Venkman character: “We came. We saw. We kicked it’s @ss!!” Unfortunately all a week 1 win does is secure they won’t have a winless season. The Texans haven’t had problems early in the season as much as they have had problems when they really have to win. But for now, they have a dominant running game, a passing game that wasn’t needed, and an aggressive defense. That’s enough for a top 6 position to me.

7 – Indianapolis

On the other end of the spectrum are the Colts. With their defense suddenly looking like more of a liability than planned and Bob Sanders likely out for the year, there are some real concerns in Indy. I’m not sure a visit from the underachieving but talented Giants running game is the cure.

The Natural

8 – Tennessee

Chris Johnson is a natural when it comes to running the football. I saw on halftime of the Monday night game that they clocked him at 22 mph during his 76 yard touchdown on Sunday. Like Robert Redford knocked the cover off the ball, Johnson can run the cleats off his shoes.

Romancing the Stone

9 – Minnesota

Brett Favre and Brad Childress are about as annoying as Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner. In reality, since this is their second act together, maybe they should be connected to the sequel, The Jewel of the Nile, but that movie came out in 1985. While losing to the Saints isn’t a disgrace, the lack of passion, energy and life from Old Man Favre is a definite concern.

10 – New York Giants

There’s just something about Big Blue that I can’t get behind this year. They are about as exciting as a stone. Good enough to beat the bad teams (like Carolina) but will struggle against better competition (like Indy this week).

Beverly Hills Cop

11 – New York Jets

This whole tier of teams fits into the Eddie Murphy quote: “You arresting me for getting thrown out a window?” And while the media gnashes its teeth about the way the team treated Ines Sainz, the team should be spending more time trying to figure out how wonderboy Mark Sanchez went from looking as good as Ms. Sainz to looking like George Lopez during the off-season.

12 – Dallas

The Cowboys offense struggled mightily despite the presence of all those weapons. Is that a credit to Washington’s defense? Possibly. But more likely, the Cowboys have to put it all together, shore up their offensive line play and only then can they even imagine playing a home game in the Super Bowl.

13 – San Diego

While not part of the movie, it seems like San Diego used another Eddie Murphy line from his stand up routine: “I’ll take the zero” (look up the routine about having a boner in class and getting called upon to come to the front of the class). The Chargers took the zero in the rain against a young and feisty Chiefs team.

14 – Atlanta

Maybe the Falcons aren’t ready for prime time after all. I do believe that the Steelers defense can be an elite unit, but to only manage field goals is unacceptable from an offense with Matt Ryan, Michael Turner, Roddy White and Tony Gonzalez. So I am arresting them for falling out the window.

15 – Cincinnati

The Bengals got thrown out the window by the Patriots and they have the foot prints on their rear ends to prove it. They better buckle down at home against the Ravens or the season could disintegrate quickly.

Karate Kid

16 – Washington

I’m not sure how long the Redskins will stay in the upper half of the league, but after beating the Cowboys, they’ve earned this spot. They are the upstart who beat the fancy dressed, fancy trained rich kids with a controlled and disciplined game.

17 – Seattle

The Seahawks bought into Pete Carroll and Cheerleader Carroll used “the Crane” to kick the snot out of the 49ers in week one. I fear that his act grows thin quickly, but for now, they deserve this ranking, probably 10 spots higher than I would have had them before the season started.

Gremlins

18 – Philadelphia

Andy Reid had his nice fuzzy little mogwai in Kevin Kolb, but unfortunately he exposed him to water (aka the Packers defense) and it spawned a gremlin of a quarterback controversy. Michael Vick looked back to his old speed against Green Bay and after he leads the Eagles to a victory over the Lions, the team is going to have a hard time stomaching a move back to Kolb. Kolb looked timid, weak-armed and scared before Clay Matthews knocked him out of the game.

19 – Arizona

Kurt Warner’s retirement spawned a whole mess of gremlins in the desert, first with Matt Leinart and now with Derek Anderson. While Anderson’s numbers looked respectable at the end of the game, he still has accuracy problems and the Cards barely held off the lowly Rams. This may be the highest the Cards get ranked all season.

Sixteen Candles

20 – Kansas City

The Chiefs pulled off a great upset against the Chargers riding the youth movement with rookies Dexter McCluster, Tony Moeaki and young running back Jamaal Charles. They came of age a little in the Monday night game, so I guess that makes Matt Cassell equal to Molly Ringwald?

Splash

21 – San Francisco

Not only did the 49ers make a terrible splash with their pathetic performance at Seattle, they also have a lot in common with Darryl Hannah. Both were huge in the 80’s and both are liked for some strange reason I can’t understand. No matter how intense Coach Singletary stares at his players, the 49ers cannot be successful with the poor communication between their offensive coordinator and the quarterback that plagued them in week 1.

Indiana Jones & The Temple of Doom

22 – Miami

The Dolphins get credit for winning, but there is doom ahead because their offense was stagnant against a poor Bills defense. That huge stone that is chasing Indiana Jones – that’s the Patriots about to run down the Dolphins.

23 – Jacksonville

This is another team that won, but in unconvincing fashion against an inferior opponent.

24 – Carolina

Boy am I glad that Carolina got rid of that turnover machine in Jake Delhomme and got a conservative game manager like Matt Moore because he won’t turn the ball over……wait, nevermind. Moore basically melted in the bad weather and Giants pressure like the bad guy’s faces at the end of Indiana Jones.

25 – Oakland

Oakland reminds me of the scene in the movie where the bad guy stops Indiana Jones in the market and starts to wave his big sword all over the place in a huge display of power. Indy calmly pulls out his pistol and shoots the guy. Well the Raiders had me convinced with their big sword trade of Jason Campbell and maturing wide receivers. The Titans pulled out the pistol in week 1.

26 – Detroit

No need to rehash it – the Lions were robbed by a terrible rule. And that’s why they are ranked higher than the Bears despite losing to them. Even though they lost Mattew Stafford and will likely plummet after this week, they get a bump for the effort in week 1.

Nightmare on Elm Street

27 – Chicago

Yes, Jay Cutler threw for a lot of yards, but he’s still a turnover machine and will be a nightmare for Chicago’s playoff chances.

28 – Denver

What was more overhyped? Tim Tebow’s debut or the ridiculous Bachelor spin-off, Bachelor Pad? Tebow was a non-factor and Bachelor Pad was just a pairing up of sluts with meatheats.

29 – Tampa Bay

They are the second team in this tier that won last week, but the team they beat was barely better than Notre Dame. Raheem Morris has some potential on this team, but Bucs fans wish they could just sleep away the season.

30 – St. Louis

The Rams showed a considerable amount of spunk against the Cardinals and Sam Bradford looks like he has the skills to be a franchise QB. Unfortunately they will not win many games if they have to throw it 55 times a game and only give Steven Jackson 22 carries.

31 – Cleveland

Well that didn’t last long. Did we really expect the Jake Delhomme experiment to work with the Browns? Do you really expect Jennifer Lopez to be anything other than a monster pain in the ass as a judge on American Idol? Do you really expect Jenn Brown to be famous for her sideline reporting or her looks?

32 – Buffalo

If Packers GM Ted Thompson wasn’t so opposed to trading, the smart move would be to tell Buffalo RB Marshawn Lynch to bring a few extra bags with him to Green Bay this weekend. Instead Lynch will have to continue to suffer through a rough season while his former Cal teammate quarterbacks a contender without much of a running game.

Weekend Hangover - Love/Hate

LOVE

- Training Camp starts!! As much as I enjoy baseball, the boys of summer cannot compete with the grid iron in the fall. As camps start, there will be a ton of talk about position battles, who wants a new contract, what rookie is picking up the game quickly (once the rookies other than Dez Bryant finally start signing), and what aging veteran looks like he ran out of gas. Predictions will be made based on last season and hopes of a new season, and then finally in another month, real games will start to be played. And this morning the month-long heat and humidity in New York finally broke and the air had just the slightest chill to it…..almost like mother nature even decided to give a little head nod to football.

- The intriguing contract situation between Tom Brady and the Patriots. The Pats have always been ruthless in dealing with aging veterans, allowing players to walk or trading them instead of paying them large contracts. And yet, Brady has been the face of the franchise for the past decade and has been a great company man, taking below-market contracts to allow the team more flexibility to sign other players around him. Well, coming off some injuries and being likely in the second half of his career, Tommy had his Don Draper realization (great episode of Mad Men last night) that it’s time to own who he is and take what is rightfully his. There is almost no chance that Brady will hold out or cause any ripples because the guy loves to play football, but it will be interesting to see how the team handles the situation. Also keeping a close eye on the contract will be Peyton Manning, who can take the Brady contract to the Colts and say “This plus 10% is our starting point” next season.

- Loved seeing Andre Dawson get inducted to the Hall of Fame. The Hawk was among my favorite players growing up. Growing up a Brewers fan when the Brewers were in the AL, it made it okay to be a Cubs fan in the NL. And with almost every Cubs game on WGN – most during the day – it was easy to root for guys like Dawson, Ryne Sandberg, Shawon Dunston and Lee Smith, even if they never did win. Dawson went in as an Expo, which is a good thing considering there are no other Expos in the Hall of Fame and with the franchise moved, there likely will never be another.

HATE

- Talk about the looming lockout in the NFL. We get it. The owners want lower salaries for the players. The players don’t. Of course they’re going to argue over it and threaten to have no football next season. In the end, they’ll work it out because both sides know their meal tickets get punched when the games are played on the field. Even if there is a lockout, we’ll survive. College football will still be there, and hell half the players in college are getting paid more than the league minimum anyway, so it’s barely even amateur sports.

- The Angels pretty much stole Dan Haren from the Diamondbacks, and it does not start the baseball trading season with a bang. The Angels are still 6 games behind Texas in the AL West and even with Haren are unlikely to make up the ground on the strong-pitching Rangers. Yet it was still a good trade for them, not giving up many prospects and trading a middle of the rotation guy for Haren who has the stuff to be a top of the rotation guy. The Diamondbacks just pulled a Betty Draper and managed to find a replacement, but one not nearly as interesting as the stud they originally were working with.

Jeff Ireland versus Dez Bryant

As the NFL Draft concluded this past weekend, people begin to analyze what players went higher than expected and what players went lower than expected. Part of that analysis went into why a player slid up or down and what the scouts and team management believed helped or hampered the player. In some instances like the Broncos and Tim Tebow, their brash young coach determined he was drafting the college superstar with debatable pro prospects because he “fell in love with him” after meeting with him face-to-face. Other players slid down the draft board because they had shorter arms than the prototypical player at their position (Brian Bulaga). Then there were guys on opposite ends of the dreaded “character concern” issue that caused the players to slip – wide receiver Dez Bryant and safety Myron Rolle. Bryant was believed to be immature and undisciplined after a rough childhood and upbringing. Rolle was thought to have too much good character and the fear was that he was not dedicated enough to the sport because he took a year off to pursue a Rhode’s scholarship which only around 30 people in the entire world get a shot at. Here is a great and damning article on Rolle’s “fall” to the 6th round and what it says about the NFL and its decision makers.

A side note from that story was the question from the Tampa Bay coaching staff asking Rolle how it felt to “abandon” his teammates to pursue the prestigious scholarship. A ridiculous question, but nothing compared to the question Miami Dolphins General Manager Jeff Ireland asked Dez Bryant during their meeting at the scouting combine. It is known that Bryant had a difficult childhood and his mother had trouble with the law, including serving time for a drug charge. According a report from Michael Silver of Yahoo! Sports, Ireland asked Bryant if his mother was a prostitute. The pundits have jumped up and down and are demanding some action be taken against Ireland for his insensitive question. I make the case that while the question is not the classiest move, there is absolutely nothing wrong with asking it.

First and foremost, Ireland was likely looking see how Bryant would react to being asked an uncomfortable question. Would his temper and emotions get the best of him or could he keep his cool? In this post Tiger Woods/Ben Roethlisberger/Tiki Barber world that we all now live in, they will get pushed and prodded and asked extremely awkward questions from the regular media and the sensational journalists like TMZ or US Weekly. Teams have a right to know and understand whether their employees/players can handle that scrutiny and that pressure. Will they blow a gasket like Milton Bradley or Naomi Cambell? Or will they show poise like Tom Brady when it was known that he would be having a baby with Bridget Moynahan even though they had broken up?

Second, these players are about to be handed a gargantuan contract with a guarantee of nearly $20+ million. If you were about to sign a high profile client, employee or consultant, wouldn’t you want to know absolutely everything there is to know about that person? Don’t you want to make sure there are no other skeletons in the closet so that you’re not facing a Tiki Barber situation in the near future? (side note – Tiki is not getting nearly enough heaped on him for being a dirtbag, so I will continually use him rather than Tiger, Big Ben, Jesse James, or the other litany of unfaithful dudes) It is the equivalent of a background check by your employer before you get hired, only instead of hiring some company to do the research or dig for information he asked him straight up if it were true. (I do however recognize that such a question typically would not be legal for a potential employer to ask their employee in most work place interviews – usually covering your religion, sexual orientation, etc.)

Finally, the careers of these coaches and general managers are tied to the success, or lack of success, of the players that they draft. Remember Bobby Beathard? He led the Redskins to 3 Super Bowl titles in the 1980’s and early 1990’s before leading the Chargers to their first ever Super Bowl appearance in 1995. Yet he is best known as the guy who drafted mammoth bust Ryan Leaf for the San Diego Chargers (not to be confused with a mammoth bust like Helena Mattson in Ironman 2) in 1998 and has been out of the league since he “retired” in 2002 at age 62 (look at the ages of guys like Bill Parcells, Joe Gibbs, and Marv Levy before assuming it was a normal age to retire). The career prospects for Josh McDaniels are now squarely tied to the success of Tim Tebow in Denver and lack of success of Jay Cutler and Brandon Marshall outside of Denver. If those moves back fire, do you think another team is going to hire him to coach or run their franchise? These players hold the fate of these overly-caffeinated and stressed coaches and executives. So can you blame them for wanting to make absolute certain they know everything there is to know about the player, his background, and his ability to maintain his poise before relying upon the player to be a centerpiece of his success?

Could Jeff Ireland have handled the situation with more class by getting to the answer with more eloquent wording? Yes, most definitely. Could he have diffused the situation immediately by explaining to Bryant at the end of the session why he asked the question and apologize for possibly offending him? Again, most definitely. Did Ireland do any of this? Perhaps – we don’t know because we have only heard one side of the story. So don’t rush to judge a guy for being thorough and covering his own you-know-what, even if his method was not the best approach.

Tuesday Ramblings - Awards Show!

The Oscar Nominations came out today which means people with even more free time than me will be trying to argue whether computer generated 3-D is more impressive than movies set in reality with people doing mostly realistic things. I haven’t seen Avatar – yes, I’m one of the 5 who haven’t – and I don’t have any desire to see it. The whole 3-D thing is not of interest to me, and I’m not a science fiction fan, with the exception of Star Wars, so I probably will never see it.

Anyway, so how do I link that to today’s post? How about handing out some awards for the NFL Playoffs thus far? Sure, why not? And since we’re holding our own awards show, I’ll make sure to invite Katy Perry to the show, just for entertainment for you. You’re welcome.

Best Performance – Male: Peyton Manning – QB Colts

This one is more of a slam dunk than Jerry Rice being elected to the Hall of Fame on Saturday. Manning went through two of the toughest defenses in the league in Baltimore and the Jets on his way to the Super Bowl. Even if the Ravens and Jets were the #5 and #6 seeds, they were the most physical teams in the playoffs, and Manning was masterful in dissecting them. The only thing left for him to do is to claim the Lombardi trophy on Sunday night. He’s marching his way up the list of all-time quarterbacks (as we discussed last week).

Best Supporting Performance – Female: Kim Kardashian

Whatever she did to motivate Reggie Bush before the playoffs started seemed to work. Whether the alleged threat of marriage to Kim was a motivator or not can be debated, but something got into him against the Cardinals and he looked like that guy with an extra gear that he was during his career at USC. Kim will be at the Super Bowl this weekend, and I’m sure that we’ll be treated to numerous shots of her up in a luxury box, wearing her Saints gear and rooting for her own ring to match Reggie’s Super Bowl winning ring.

Best Director: Rex Ryan – NY Jets

The outspoken, rotund coach of the Jets got his team to believe that they were the best team in the playoffs and advanced further than no one but him thought was possible. While he fell short of the ultimate goal of getting to the Super Bowl, he had a rookie quarterback, a rookie running back and a wide receiver who couldn’t catch the ball. He was basically the equivalent of that guy who made Napoleon Dynamite – a cast of nobody actors and actresses that somehow turned into one of the funniest movies of the decade.

Worst Best Performance: Adrian Peterson – RB Vikings

Another slam dunk that is almost as sure of a bet as whether there will be fireworks in Chicago between perpetually angry Mike Martz with his perpetually pouting quarterback, Jay Cutler. Peterson busted off over 100 yards and 3 TDs against the Saints, yet all anyone wanted to talk about was his penchant for fumbling. He is on the verge of losing his standing as the best running back in the league. If they gave out this award in movies, Megan Fox would win every year. There is no worse actress who still gets roles in bad movies.

Fastest Deterioration from a Franchise QB to a Mediocre Game Manager: Carson Palmer – QB Bengals

This was a guy that in his 2nd through 5th year in the league averaged 4,000 yards and over 28 touchdowns per season. Yet this year he barely threw for over 3,000 yards and in the playoffs against the Jets, he threw for 146 yards. What happened? I get the knee injury which cost him a full season of trying to get back to full strength but he doesn’t even resemble the same strong-armed quarterback with a pocket presence that he was when he came into the league. This would be the Jennifer Lopez award for someone that gained attention with one aggressively cut dress, and continues to try and convince people she’s talented, when we all know the truth.

Best Performance Blowing Team’s Chances: San Diego Chargers

So, you’re getting ready to play the best defense in the league in the divisional playoff game on your home field. How would you stay focused? Get a little extra film session in to make sure you are ultra-familiar with the Jets extensive blitz packages? Spend some quality time with your family to relax and allow yourself to conserve energy? Or head over to the Pure Platinum club and get boozed up with strippers? Yeah, we know what the Chargers chose, and that couldn’t have helped prevent them from choking against the Jets.

Biggest Disappointment – Team: New England Patriots

Before this season, there were a couple of things that appeared carved in stone: You don’t beat Bill Belichick and Tom Brady in New England during the playoffs. You don’t bet against Bill Belichick and Tom Brady in the playoffs. You don’t question any decisions by Bill Belichick on the field. All of those came crashing down this year, from the failed 4th and 2 against the Colts, Brady looking awful in the playoffs and the Patriots bowing out after losing at Gillette Stadium. It will be interesting to see where they go from here. Basically, they’re Jennifer Anniston after Friends ended and she was in a couple of poor movies like Rumor Has It. Are the Patriots going to bounce back and like Jen, look better with age?

Most Expected Meltdown that Somehow Surprised Us But Should Not Have: Philadelphia Eagles

Let’s see, we have the worst clutch quarterback with a winning record and the worst clutch playoff coach in history going on the road against a divisional rival. And this same team had already lost in Oakland earlier in the year. Yet somehow we were convinced that the Eagles might actually have a chance against the Cowboys? Andy Reid and Donovan McNabb have made careers of collapsing in the playoffs and coming up short in big moments. Yet somehow the Eagles tempt us like John Mayer with all of the starlets in Hollywood (& now Nashville as it is rumored he’s seeing Taylor Swift). And it ends the same way, tears and disappointment.

Best Dramatic Performance: Cardinals beating Packers in Overtime

This was the best game of the playoffs, without question. There were a ton of blow outs in this year’s playoffs, but this one was not one of them, despite the Cardinals jumping out to a 21 point lead early. There were huge plays, controversial calls and non-calls, and tremendous performances from both quarterbacks. Obviously as a Packer fan, the result was crushing for me, yet taking the fan side of things and putting it aside, this game was beyond entertaining to watch.

Week 13 Hangover - Love/Hate

LOVE

- Finally after 13 weeks, I recognize that hillbilly with the gray-stubble wearing that purple #4 jersey. More impressive was the performance from the Cardinals. There is some concern with how banged up Kurt Warner is after missing last week with a concussion and injuring his hip at the end of last night’s game. However, the Cardinals defense completely shut down Adrian Peterson, and confused Favre on multiple occasions. Could they be the second-most-dangerous team in the NFC?

- The BCS Championship matchup: Love. Texas was lucky to get by Nebraska after some terrible clock management, and Colt McCoy cost himself the Heisman trophy. Why did they not use their timeout? Why did they call a roll out and casually throw it out of bounds barely leaving one second for the final kick? Maybe they were reading from the Les Miles/Andy Reid book of clock management. Here was a four-year starter at quarterback that didn’t appear to have a good grip on the game clock? In the end, we get the two big programs and probably the best teams playing for the national championship. Alabama looked dominant against Florida and Texas will have a tough time putting up points against the Bama defense, which is better than the Nebraska defense that stuffed Texas all night. I think the difference may come down to coaching, and it’s tough to go against Nick Saban with a month of preparation to come up with ways to slow down McCoy and the Texas offense. He's quickly put himself among the legendary Alabama coaches, Bear Bryant and Gene Stallings.

- Peyton Manning is better than Tom Brady. Case closed. No argument. Despite Brady having 3 Super Bowls to Manning’s one, it’s not even close. Manning continues to be a master with the Colts, crushing records, cruising through the league with new weapons around him, and running the team with perfect precision. Brady threw another 2 fourth quarter interceptions yesterday, and it’s been 5 years since his last Super Bowl title. While Brady remains in the discussion among the top quarterbacks in the league (probably still the #2), Manning is a level above him in every way…….except for the whole Gisele thing. Though he’s done pretty well considering he has more chance of being on the cover of “Herman Muenster Look-A-Likes Monthly” than GQ.

- The race for the NFC East just got a lot more interesting. While I still think the division is grossly overrated, the Cowboys and Eagles are tied at the top with 8-4 records and the Giants are now 1 game back at 7-5, and have swept the Cowboys. The Cowboys may have another December swoon, but it may be a result of their schedule more than anything. After losing in NY, they get San Diego at home and then go to New Orleans before finishing at Washington and hosting Philly. That is a brutal finishing kick. 10-6 would be an accomplishment and 9-7 would not be a stretch. Philly goes to NY this weekend, where the Giants have revenge on their minds and seem to have regained some confidence. They then have San Francisco and Denver at home before finishing at Dallas. That looks like 10-6 but 9-7 would not surprise me since the Eagles love to choke away winnable games. The Giants need to go 3-1 to have a chance, and after a home game against Philly, they go to Washington, host Carolina and finish at Minnesota. It should be an interesting run down the stretch

- Reason #2,321,768 why I will never be able to make a living gambling: The Redskins lose to the Lions, breaking Detroit’s 19 game losing streak, but then have multiple chances to knock off the 11-0 Saints. The “Bingo” offense showed life the past few weeks, and had Suisham hit the 23-yard field goal, they would have iced the game. Can Jason Campbell not handle the pressure when games matter, and as soon as the team is out of it, he looks like he could have the potential to be the Redskins’ quarterback next year? It sure appears that way. So while some might say it’s an example that the Saints can or will be beat, I think the exact opposite. They were able to pull out this game when they had a hangover from the Pats game, and didn’t play well. I think they will run the table. But I wouldn’t bet on it.

HATE

- The Fiesta Bowl matchup between TCU and Boise State. No one wants to see the two small conference teams play each other. We want to see them play against the “Big Boys” to see how they really match up and if they are as good as their unblemished records. The ratings for this game will be horrible. No one is saying “man, I really want to know if Boise State or TCU is the best unbeaten team that doesn’t get to play anyone.” Having them match up is not in the best interest of the BCS either. Now it is guaranteed that one of them will be unbeaten and can make a legit argument that they didn’t get a fair shot to prove they were the best team in the land. If you match them up separately against Georgia Tech and Florida, they both lose and suddenly it adds ammunition to the argument that the BCS works. Oh, and someone please show or tell me what the hell that hand signal thing is the TCU fans do?

- Grow up Tim Tebow. There is just something so contrived about the guy, and his big crying show he put on as he team was getting dismantled was another example of it. Of course CBS had to show his passionate/contrived speech on the sidelines imploring his defense to play better. Maybe he should have given that speech in the mirror. Random aside: Why would Florida break out the hideous alternate all-white jerseys for the conference championship game? They have strong colors in the bold blue and bright orange, and they hide all of it with white jerseys, white pants and a white helmet? Seems like they were taunting karma and got kicked in the jimmy.

- The mainstream media is going to tell us that Michael Vick is back after doing some stuff in Atlanta. Who cares? No one. He was able to get some things done in a blow out game when the Falcons had given up. It’s a non-story. The media is obsessed with trying to make a story out of this guy when he sneezes, drops a deuce or steps on the field. He’s about as relevant as Canada. Let’s just move on.

- The Steelers are going down faster than Lindsay Lohan on a table of nose candy. Four straight losses, including one to the Raiders and one to the Chiefs (who have been destroyed by the Chargers & Broncos). They are in absolute crisis mode and likely just knocked themselves out of the playoffs. I suspect this was not the “hell” that Mike Tomlin had in mind during the December. The bigger question might be whether Tom Cable saved his job in Oakland? The Raiders almost look like a pro football team, but who knows if all the off-field issues will have a detrimental effect on his long-term prospects. Someone please wake up Al Davis and ask him what he thinks.

- We’re about one more mistress away from Tiger Woods claiming he’s a sex-addict and going into rehab before the next golf season kicks off. Have you seen the latest one? After his best looking birdie (so far) came out, Jaime Jungers, he went “Steve Phillips” on us with Mindy Lawton. Yikes. I guess it’s probably just time to start bringing out women that aren’t skanks or waitresses (or both) from Vegas/Orlando that DIDN’T sleep with Tiger, as it might be a shorter list.

And Saturday Night Live did a skit about Tiger getting roughed up by his wife on the same show where the musical guest was Rhianna? That’s some unfortunate comedic timing.

And now the NY Post claims that the number is up to 9 for Tiger. Once he paid Rachel Uchitel to keep her trap shut (and I guess you could claim he paid her to keep other things open?), it opened the floodgates for every woman he ever had a conversation with to come out and offer up all the details for some easy cash.

- One more thing – so Notre Dame was turned down by Bob Stoops and now they’re going to turn to Brian Kelley at Cincinnati as their top target? Let me get this straight……they got turned down by their top target, and now they’re going after a hot name that is an offensive whizz, but doesn’t know anything about defense. Sound familiar? Five years ago, they were turned down by their top target, Urban Meyer, and they settled on an offensive genius who didn’t know defense in Charlie Weis. So how is this going to be any different or better?