Weekend Hangover - Love/Hate - Defending Isiah?!?

LOVE

- Knicks fans are up in arms about the return of Isiah Thomas to the front office as a special consultant. Knicks fans have been calling into talk shows and bragging about how they are canceling their season tickets with the return of Thomas, and are quoting George Costanza: “It’s like an onion, the more layers you peel, the more it stinks!” While Thomas does have an impressive track record as the “Bizarro World” King Tut – everything he touches turns into a turd instead of gold – the Indiana Pacers, the CBA, the Knicks and now Florida International U. Yet I actually think there is a value to having Thomas return to the Knicks. During the recruitment of this summer’s free agent class, it was obvious who the biggest winners were – those teams where the owners, presidents, or GMs could flash championship bling at the young players. Riley was able to convince Prince James and Chris Bosh to bring their talents to South Beach. Jerry Reinsdorf and his Jordan-fueled rings were able to get Carlos Boozer and Kyle Korver. And the Lakers were able to add Kevin Martin and resign Derek Fisher based on the recruiting of Kobe and Phil Jackson.

The Knicks were going into the meetings with these free agents with an aging Donnie Walsh (who never won a championship with the Pacers), James Dolan (who has a reputation as a bumbling fool) and Allan Houston (a solid player that couldn’t get a ring with the Knicks). None of those people could inspire today’s young free agents that they know what it takes to win an NBA championship.

Thomas does that. Thomas has credibility with the players because he was an amazing player and he has the hand jewelry to prove that he knows what it takes to win it all. As long as Walsh and Houston control the personnel decisions, the Knicks can benefit from having Isiah as an ambassador for the team when they recruit Carmelo Anthony next summer.

- Loved having football back on television on Sunday night – even if it was pre-season. But the football highlights of the weekend were the Hall of Fame speeches. I didn’t see all of them, but my personal favorite was Emmitt Smith. Emmitt was a trainwreck when ESPN put him on the air with no training, leading to classic comments like being “blowed up” among many other lowlights. So I was ready for the Hall speech to be off the charts in unintentional comedy. Yet the NFL’s all-time leading rusher was tremendous, sounding smooth, confident and emotional. And his thanking of Darryl Johnston was awesome. Well done, Emmitt.

HATE

- Fans who think that because Lance Armstrong raised money for a good cause, he can’t be a cheater and a bad person. Whether or not he took steroids does not take away from his remarkable drive and determination to beat cancer. What it does change is that he cheated to be successful at his sport – just like Barry Bonds, Alex Rodriguez, Roger Clemens, Raphael Palmeiro, Mark McGwire, Jose Conseco and many, many more athletes. Combined with the stories about how he was kind of a prick in his break up with Sheryl Crow, you realize that despite his humanitarian efforts to raise money for cancer research, he has some ugly traits – just like all those other cheaters. Keep them separated – praise him for raising money for a good cause and for being driven enough to recover and inspire others, but be realistic and realize that it is becoming overwhelming evidence that he didn’t win all of those Tour de France races on simple sweat effort.

- What is the deal with the Tampa Bay Rays? They have the second-best record in all of baseball but they seem to put it on cruise control for random games. They have been no-hit twice this year, thrown a no-hitter themselves (Matt Garza) and then they were completely dominated by Brandon Morrow yesterday. Morrow was one out from a perfect game and struck out 17 Rays along the way. So why do the Rays forget to show up every couple weeks and will that be a problem in the playoffs? Probably not, but they have the potential to be less reliable than a story from Jen Sterger about Brett Favre’s texting habits.

- It was a tough weekend for Tigger on the golf course, shooting the worst final round he has ever shot, 77 and finishing in 78^th place at 18 over par. Ouch. I’ll leave it to the gold experts to determine how much of his problems are physical and how much are mental, but there is no doubt that he has completely lost his mojo. Maybe he is simply stressed because Mistress #1, Rachel Uchitel had to check herself into rehab again this weekend.

Weekend Hangover - Love/Hate

LOVE

- Steve Nash was unreal last night leading the Suns while looking like a cross between E.T. and Two-Face from Batman. He took 6 stitches above his eye and the eye swelled shut, which somehow caused his good eye to bulge out even more throughout the 4th quarter. Nash and the Suns finished off the Spurs in 4 games and appear to be a pretty good challenge for the Lakers (once LA dismisses the Jazz). The Suns will provide a tough matchup with their outside shooting big men which have the potential to drag the Lakers big front court away from the hoop. The Suns continue their march as The People's Choice to win the title and the vindication of Steve Kerr as a General Manager continues. The Suns finally were able to beat the team that has kept them from getting the NBA finals routinely for the past 10 years. And the best part? We no longer have to watch Manu Ginobili flop all over the court with that large feminine hygiene product strapped across his face.

- Another point guard who dominated a game and put up ridiculous numbers? Rajon Rondo put up a sick triple double in the Celtics win on Sunday to even the series at 2 games apiece. Rondo is often overlooked when talking about the best point guards in the league – Chris Paul, Deron Williams, Steve Nash and Derrick Rose get all the attention. Yet Rondo has proven that he has the ability to step up in the playoffs and throughout his career has played better in the postseason than he does in the regular season. Rondo also resembles ET with his bug-eyes and long, wirey arms. If the Celtics are going to win this series, and I still don’t believe they will, they will have to rely on huge games from Rondo to make up for the inability of Kevin Garnett to take advantage of his mismatch with Antwan Jamison.

HATE

- Dallas Braden threw the 19th perfect game in major league history on Mother’s Day with his grandmother in the stands. It was a great story, except that all anyone wants to take about is Braden’s mini feud with Alex Rodriguez. Give it a rest. The guy wants to own the mound when he’s pitching, fine. A-Rod has no people skills so he has no ability to make a sane response, which blows it out of proportion. Just focus on the fact that Braden is a young talented pitcher with tremendous upside. A guy that was a junior college teammate of the much more heralded Manny Parra, and there is no doubt that the prospects for Braden appear much brighter than those for Parra. Congrats to the guy for throwing a gem against the team with the best record in the league.

- Trying to refrain from making any of the all too easy jokes about Tiger Woods this weekend. Let’s see, he had to pull out….of the tournament……with a bulging disc………There are just too many ways to take it straight to the gutter like asking Rachel Uchitel about his bulging disc. In the end, the critics are going to say that he quit and that he just wasn’t playing well so he opted to bail than stick it out. I don’t buy it. The guy has proven to be tough when he won the US Open on a broken leg, so people think that nothing can stop him from playing. However, if he wasn’t playing well, was in pain, and the pain was causing his swing to be even more off than it already was, I have no problem with him yanking himself off the course.

Weekend Hangover - Love/Hate

LOVE

- U-S-A! U-S-A! The men’s hockey team upset the Canadian powerhouse last night, which is ironic since today is the 30th anniversary of the Miracle on Ice victory over Russia in the 1980 Olympics. This was nowhere near the level of upset and is still in pool play not a medal round, but it was an extremely entertaining game – especially for a guy like me that does not follow hockey (I have an issue with any sport that calls it’s jerseys “sweaters”). But the best part of a hockey game? The goal horn. Is there anything better than the loud fog horn that blasts after each and every goal in any hockey game? Just awesome.

Since I am not old enough to have any memories of the 1980 games, here is my first memorable hockey introduction. I grew up in Wisconsin, which is hockey crazy, yet despite my cousins playing the sport, I never was really exposed to the game. Fast forward to college, where Wisconsin has a rich hockey tradition. I somehow snag two prime seats at mid-ice for a game and manage to talk this girl who played on the University’s women’s club hockey team to go with me. Now I know what you’re thinking – that she was more interested in the cheerleaders than me – but I don’t think that was really the case. We settle into our seats and she’s attempting to explain the game to me when Dany Heatley (currently playing for Team Canada) scores for the Badgers. The place goes bezerk and that fog horn goes off. I’m into it, though still spinning trying to figure out how people can keep up with the puck. Suddenly the entire crowd starts pointing at the opposing goalie and chanting “Sieve!” - particularly this 75 year old grandmother sitting next to us who is screaming with extreme passion! That’s when I knew that hockey was something that must be in your blood and you either have it or you don’t. I didn’t. Grandma Sieve defintely did.

- NBC Hockey Announcer Doc Emrick is outstanding. He combines the emotions and pace of Gus Johnson, the intelligence of Jay Bilas and the personality of Steve Lavin all into one. There were times during the game where I wasn’t fully paying attention but simply the tone and pace of his voice made me focus back on the game.

- I have generally poo-poo’d all of the hype around John Wall at Kentucky this season. Without having seen him play very much, I tended to believe that that he was a very talented guy, lightning quick point guard with a solid shot, but he was immature and probably quite as good as advertised. Well, I’m starting to come around. Despite having an off shooting night, he was able to come up with a game saving blocked shot and knock down crucial free throws as Kentucky took down Vanderbilt on Saturday night. I still think Wall is not as polished as Derrick Rose was during his one year in college, and I think DeMarcus Cousins might be the best freshman on Kentucky this year, but I’m starting to believe that he will be a major contributor in the NBA next season.

- I am a big fan of match play golf relative to the low-score method that is used in most pro tournaments. There’s just something to going head to head for the 18 holes against the guy you’re battling and not having to worry about checking the scoreboard to see who is having a good round. It just brings a different attitude to the course – kind of like on The Bachelor when they make all the women live in the same house with no access to television or phones and a fully stocked liquor cabinet. Then we act surprised when the claws come out and the girls are not quite as they appear on the show………like this season’s villain, Vienna.

HATE

- Boner has gone missing!! Who knew that this would be the only time it would “family friendly” to type those words? Andrew Koenig, the guy who played Richard “Boner” Stabone on the 80’s sitcom Growing Pains went missing at the Olympics this weekend. He was supposed to return to LA and didn’t show up for his flight. Hard to believe that guy is 42 years old now, and another sad story of a childhood actor struggling when their career matures.

- Enough with the analyzing of Tiger’s speech last week. To no one’s surprise, there are people crying for more from him and others who think he nailed the apology. Obviously, those that profit from Tiger (like ESPN & the PGA) think he was great. Those that profit from continued drama (like the rag mags) think he was too staged and robotic. Who cares? Let the dude put his life back together.

- I have had enough of Bode Miller. I get that the guy is the “most decorated Olympic skiier” in US history – which is kind of like being the tallest midget. The guy can ski faster than anyone because he has no fear, which is impressive. But he is obvlivious to the honor of being an Olympian, and has no pride in skiing for his country. Listen to some of the past medal winners in the US or even some of the current winners – Brian Boitano, Dorothy Hamil, Lindsey Vonn or even Shaun White – they all speak about the pride and pressure they felt to win for their country. Not Bode – he measures success not by winning or posting a good time, but by the fun he has with a twelver in the hot tub. In his spoiled, deuchebag world, this is just another week partying on the slopes. He’s the John Mayer of skiing – he has one great talent, but is a complete asshat when he’s not doing that one talent.

- While Major League Baseball fans whine about the lack of a salary cap in baseball, the system that is currently in place in the NBA doesn’t seem to be working either. What kind of system rewards a team for blowing up a team for 2-3 years with no intentions of winning in hopes of clearing enough salary cap space to sign two super stars? That’s been the program the Knicks have been on for the past 3 years. Not a program of rebuilding with young stars that may take some years to develop. (That is the plan the Blazers and Thunder have used successfully) The Knicks have taken on terribly overpaid players with expiring contracts and have freed up the cap space to sign two of the big free agents from this year’s bumper crop of available stars.

Can they convince LeBron James and Dwyane Wade to both come to New York and rule Gotham as Batman & Batman? Tracy McGrady would play Robin to the two of them, and let’s not kid ourselves – a team of those 3 would easily be among the favorites to win the title. Part of me wants to see it happen just for the intrigue of it, but the rest of me doesn’t want to reward a franchise for being awful and taking money from their season ticket holders who were paying good money for an intentionally suboptimal product.

Degenerate Friday - Tiger & Olympic Hockey

I’m not going to lie, without football it is hard to find something to gamble on each and every week. But we are dedicated to find some sweet action that we can throw cash at and make your bookie wonder where you come up with these bets. That is, if gambling were legal.

Before we get to this week’s locks, a quick story. This morning I crawled my happy arse out of bed for a 6:30 spinning class with the wife. Maybe it was to sweat out the scotch from last night or maybe I’m just an idiot. Either way, I settle in on the bike and start pedaling to warm up when I’m struck by the words on the shirt on the girl in front of me. On the back of the shirt it has the following lines:

Phucket Beach, Thailand

2001: Bomb Threat
2002: Bird Flu
2003: Earthquake
2004: Tsunami

What’s Next?!?!

And then to top it off, on the front of the shirt was “Still Alive” in huge letters. First, that’s not the type of thing that I want to be thinking about at the crack of dawn. Good Morning – remember all the terrible stuff that has killed a bunch of people in the past 10 years? Great, now pedal your arse off to the beat of the music. Second, was she taunting all the people that weren’t “still alive” from all of those disasters? Was she taunting Mother Nature - "what else you got, bitch?"

By the way, in addition to having a beach called Phucket, which sounds like, well…..you know. Thailand also has a Monkey Beach that has a ton of monkeys that hang out on the beach. How is this not the greatest place on earth? In college I always wanted a pet monkey that we could train to get us beer and make pizzas. The debate was always what would be better – a monkey or a midget. Midgets don’t throw their own poop (usually), which was a huge plus for them. The fact that you can’t own another human was always the downside. Such a strange way to start out a day that is only going to get more strange once Tiger makes his 5 minute speech.

Speaking of Tiger, that’s where we find one of our chances to gamble. I have to hurry to get this posted before the show begins, but here is the link to the odds on what he will say first. That’s a tougher bet than betting on how many times Tiger will say “sorry” according to the same site. For the phrase he will say first, it’s hard not to see him opening the speech by thanking everyone for being there, then leading off with an apology. The payday on “I’m sorry” is only 6/4, so I’d save the money. As for the number of times he says he is sorry? I’m thinking that during a 5 minute speech, he’s going to say “sorry” four times – to his wife, his fans, the PGA tour and his sponsors. That’s a nice 5/1 payday.

A couple quick notes on the entire situation of the press conference. I think the biggest thing we’re learning from the whole charade is that Tiger remains as stubborn and controling as ever, which makes you wonder if he’s learned anything. Christine Brennan of the USA Today blasts Tiger for his control over the speech. Coming out for a speech – it is not a press conference if he is not taking any questions and all of the press is not welcome - in an ultracontrolled situation reeks of the old Tiger style of privacy. I’m not saying it’s wrong, because like I said before, Tiger doesn’t owe me or you an apology. He owes an apology to his wife and his sponsors, and not one that needs to be made in public.

More interesting than what he says, is who is going to be there. I have heard that Elin is unlikely to attend, but that Michael Jordan will be there. Again, how is that helping your image? A guy with a known gambling problem, and one of the all-time womanizers whose wife divorced him over his past “transgressions” and the guy who got up at his own Hall of Fame speech and blasted everything and everyone within range. Yes, he was the greatest basketball player ever to lace up the sneaks, but as a character witness? Why MJ? Was Rachel Uchitel unavailable to stand next to him? As I’m typing this, I just heard that MJ may not be there or he may not be out in the room publicly for the speech. That’s disappointing from an entertainment side, but it could open up a seat at the table for Uchitel……..or the Perkins waitress.

Let’s just move on……..

I know I’ve mentioned and linked to my thoughts on the Olympics before, but I do have to admit to watching a decent amount of the games. I’ve watched some hockey, some skiing and some curling. The US curling teams, both men and women, have been awful and are a combined 0-6. The sport is semi-intriguing because of the strategy involved, and while I have never done it and assume it is harder than it looks, it definitely looks like a sport you could drink while playing. Somewhat similar to playing corn hole – a game that is as Cincinnati as Skyline Chili – but has blown up across the country in the past few years.

Another gambling option this weekend is the men’s hockey game on Sunday night between the US & Canada. Canada seems to be the favorite for the gold medal but the US team is playing well and would like nothing better than to beat their neighbors to the north. I’m not going to taunt the Canadians because I don’t want to get their media fired up like they did with the British for taking shots at the repeated problems with the Olympics thus far. I mean, seriously Canada. Just because someone said you have struggled with the games (memo: you have!!), doesn’t mean you have to bring up their lack of stamina in the sack. Seems more lowbrow than a porn star talking about getting preggers from Tiger twice knowing that he won’t dispute it.

So the pick is the U-S-A. Go stars & stripes. I have to believe the Canadian Mounties will have problems keeping their horses upright on the ice.

Quick Hits before the NBA Trade Deadline

The Raiders signed Sebastian Janikowski to a ridiculous contract and now have the league’s highest paid kicker and punter on a team that has 10 total wins the past two years. If Al Davis is so into legs, why doesn’t he just hire Stacey Kiebler? On a serious note, at what point does the league have to step in and take control away from Davis, who continues to make head-scratching decisions with the once proud franchise?

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It is being reported that the Bucks have agreed to a trade with the Bulls for guard John Salmons to help fill the void after the Michael Redd knee injury. It seems like a decent trade for the Bucks to get a guard that can score while only giving up expiring contracts. I don’t know much about Salmons, but all of the media is clinging to his big numbers in the playoffs against the Celtics last year as the reason this is a good trade. The question I have is this: Are the Bucks making trades that will get them to .500 and secure them a low seed in the playoffs where they will be destroyed by the elite teams in the east like Cleveland, Orlando, Boston or Atlanta? Does that really feel like a successful season? I guess since their first playoff appearance since 2006 is progress, right?

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Maybe Danny Ferry read my article about Amare Stoudemire. Or probably not. Yet the Cavs decided to make a move for Antwan Jamison to fill their void at power forward. I think it is a much better trade for the Cavs, as Jamison can shoot from the outside, which means he can pick and roll with LeBron and doesn’t clog up the lane for Shaq. The Cavs are still not as deep as the Lakers, but they have distanced themselves even further from the Orlando Magic and the aging Celtics. Keep in mind that the title contenders have athletic shooting power forwards in Rashard Lewis (Orlando), Garnett/Rasheed Wallace (Celtics) and Lamar Odom (Lakers), and now the Cavs have their own guy to match up with those guys.

Also, keep in mind that even though the Cavs traded the contract of Zydrunas Illgauskas, but Big Z will likely never leave his house in Cleveland. The Wizards will buy him out, and 30 days laterhe will resign with the Cavs.

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Tiger is going to make a speech on Friday morning. It’s going to be more scripted than the fake phone call from Ali on The Bachelor. He’s only allowing a select group of reporters, friends and family into the room. It’s expected to be 5-7 minutes in length and he won’t take any questions. This is going to be more anticlimatic than the Yankees resigning Derek Jeter after his contract expires.

He’s going to apologize, say that he was addicted, and yadda, yadda, yadda. When is he going to return to golfing? That’s all that anyone really cares about at this point – or at least that’s all they should care about. He’s the one that has to handle his personal life and all the struggles with rebuilding the trust in his marriage, so he doesn’t need to apologize to me. Just let me know when we can expect to see him storming the course in his Sunday red, cursing over missed shots and banging his clubs around.

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Has anyone else seen this Barbasol commercial? I didn’t even know Barbasol was still around for the past 20 years. But there is so much unintentional comedy in this commercial and the jingle is so catchy, it will be in your head the rest of the day – “Close Shave America, Close Shave Barbasol!”

My favorite parts – at the 13 second mark, when he scratches his face because that beard is really getting to him. Dude – you drive a truck full of shaving cream, and you couldn’t get anything to shave with when you stopped at a truck stop? And at the 22 second mark, his wife is really excited he’s home, yet she won’t even come see him until he shaves. Add to that my wife’s comment when watching the commercial “That guy looked a ton better before he shaved.” But Close Shave, America. Close Shave Barbasol!!

The Back Nine - Hitting the Links

Another way to interact……ask me anything. Here’s the link to a page where you can literally ask me anything and I’ll post an answer. It’s really that simple. So have at it. Ask me anything on anything and I’ll have an answer. You can also ask me a question through the icon on the lower right hand side of the page (below the polls but above the links). I will solve the mysteries of life………….

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Paul Shirley, the most famous benchwarmer in NBA history, had an interesting take on the situation in Haiti. Unfortunately, that view got him fired from his role as a contributor at ESPN. At least he has that lucrative pro basketball career…….or never mind. Hope he enjoyed his short time not completely in the shade.

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I lost a ton of respect for Tom Jackson after the Vikings-Saints game when he made the following statement “That’s the thing about Brett Favre; he’s not afraid to throw an interception. That’s one of the things I most admire about him.” Blink, blink, blank stare. What? Then Tommy must love Jay Cutler more than life itself. I mean, is that like saying the thing I like about Brad Lidge is that he’s not afraid to blow saves? He’s not afraid to let Albert Pujols launch one into orbit in the playoffs. The thing I love about Whitney Port is she’s not afraid to be the dullest thing to ever sport a bikini and allow fame whores like Heidi Montag and Kristin Cavalliri to take the spotlight. Or something like that.

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Greg Oden had an ex-flame post pictures of his wang all over the internet (the link is safe – I don’t need to look at his junk). He owned up to it, called it a mistake and is trying to move on. Not much of a story there really as it’s just another lesson on the way crazy women can get back at you. It’s right up there with the crazy mistress for the guy from Oracle/Obama’s cabinet that bought huge billboards outside the house the guy shares with his wife and posted a picture of them. But the part of the Oden presser that was entertaining was the female reporter asking him why he was embarrassed and that “a lot of people are impressed.” Alrighty then lady, why don’t you just ask him to take you to dinner?

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Well of course Brett Favre has to be involved in the whole Tiger Woods scandal, right? Apparently Elin has been staying at the Favre compound while visiting Tig in his sex rehab. So is it because Brett’s place is nicer than any other place in Mississippi? Or is it because Favre never misses an opportunity to kind of come across like a decent person, when in reality it’s just another excuse to get some attention for himself? Then again, maybe Deanna has some advice for Elin on how to deal with a philandering star athlete spouse?

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A friend of mine has a relaunched blog: Who’s On Second. He’s a die-hard Yankee’s fan with strong opinions across the board on sports. He also has tons of info on sports card collecting as well. So check it out and send some traffic to both of us.

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I know it’s a day late, but in case you dvr’d the State of the Union last night and are going to watch it while drinking this evening, here are the ground rules for the drinking game. My personal favorite:

“If you want to get buck shitty: Do a shot of liquor every time Obama uses the words "Rescue, Rebuild, or Restore." Optional flourish: Do a shot of just beer every time he uses certain accepted synonyms for those words, like, "salvage," "reconstruct," and "Haiti."

Today, I’m going to end world hunger, stop all wars, bring terrorists to their knees, give everyone a job, and fix the economy. Wait, just saying it with great emphasis and a smug smirk doesn’t make it happen? Who knew? Well, if all else fails, I’ll just continue to blame it all on those before me that screwed it up too much for even me to fix it.

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This guy is awesome. Just a nice way to get back at a company for not returning a call or email. It also reminds me of Seinfeld (very early on in the show) when George got fired but decided to show up to work anyway like nothing ever happened and acted like it was all just a joke.

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I’m definitely not the leading edge tech guy out there, and I’m sure the new Apple computer will eventually be a pretty sweet revolution. But right now, doesn’t it kind of look like a Saturday Night Live commercial for a really, really big iPhone? And others are already having a field day with the name iPad, referring to it instead as the iTampon. Should be interesting to see if the public is buying it.

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If We Knew Then What We Know Now........2009

First things first – the most important health news you will receive – EVER. You’re welcome.

LATE ADD - Thursday NFL Pick:
Colts (-3) over JAGUARS
Coach Caldwell wants to rest his players and the players want to go for the undefeated season. Something tells me the Colts will blow up the Jags early in an attempt to put the game away before Caldwell can take them out.

As we begin to wrap up 2009, instead of listing off the top movies or songs or albums or something of the year, I decided to take a little trip back in time. So hop in the Delorean with Marty McFly, fire it up with one-point-twenty-one jiggawatts of power and let’s set the destination to January 1, 2009. Let’s look at things we were pretty certain of at that time, and how they ended up playing out during the year. And next week I’ll come up with the things we believe at the end of 2009.

Belief #1: Brett Favre is retired and going to (finally) disappear into the vast farmland of Mississippi. After trying to force his way to the Vikings, Brett ended up with one poor season in New York hampered by a torn bicep, and it appeared pretty obvious to everyone that his tank had run dry and that he would finally hang up the cleats for good.

End of Year Reality #1: Favre did in fact retire in February 2009, blubbering like a little baby and telling ESPN that “there is no chance” he’ll play football again. Yet we all saw the ridiculous circus that ensued, with Favre denying that the Vikings had reached out to him, then eventually having his driver, Coach Brad Childress, pick him up from the airport. Favre is now among the favorites to win the league MVP, leading Minnesota to an 11-2 record. While some may have predicted the return to the game, very few people expected him to play as well as he has. Level of Surprise: Kim Kardashian Sex Tape (intriguing, but not really surprising)

Belief #2: The Arizona Cardinals were lucky to sneak into the playoffs by winning a terrible division, and would quickly be eliminated by the 11-5 Atlanta Falcons. The Cardinals won the putrid NFC West early and coasted the final weeks of the season. They looked like easy prey for Matt Ryan, Michael Turner and the Falcons.

End of the Year Reality #2: The Cards got hot in the playoffs, squeaked by Falcons, flattened the Panthers on the road, and beat the Eagles in Phoenix to advance to the Super Bowl. Suddenly the Cards offense was among the most dangerous in the league and their defense was playing as well as any team in the league. The end result was they were a few seconds, inches and an amazing Santonio Holmes tip toe in the endzone from being the Super Bowl champs. Kurt Warner was making you seriously consider him as a potential Hall-of-Famer, completing a comeback that could only be rivaled by the turnaround his wife made from resembling Annie Lennox of the Eurythmics (look her up kids) to being kind of a sneaky snicky. Level of Surprise: Carrie Prejean Sex Tape (we knew she had it in her)

Belief #3: Tiger Woods was coming off knee surgery, primed to continue his assault on Jack Nicklaus’s record 18 majors. He won the 2008 US Open on one leg, so there was no doubt that he would be able to rehab quickly and continue to dominate the PGA Tour. And as if his professional life didn’t seem good enough, he had a Swedish model for a wife with one beautiful kid and a baby due in a few months.

End of the Year Reality #3: He won 7 events on the tour and took home his second FedEx Cup championship. For almost 11 months, the year had gone exactly how you would have expected for Tiger. However, there was a reason he was so big on privacy, as his entire empire eventually collapsed around him due to his “transgressions” with a harem of women, concerns over his extreme gambling habits and most recently potential ties to a Canadian doctor with hook-ups for HGH. He has become the butt of numerous jokes using the slogans of many of the products he endorsed:

“Is it in you? It’s in every skank in town!” (Gatorade)
“Just Do It! Literally!” (Nike)
“Go On Be A Tiger – In the Bedroom!” (Accenture)
“The Best a Man Can Get – A Perkins Waitress, Really?” (Gillette)

He’s taken an indefinite leave from golf as his wife has moved out with the kids and she is parading in public without her wedding ring. His endorsements are drying up and he’s not speaking to his celebrity friends. No one ever could have predicted this. Level of Surprise: Tiger Woods Scandal (his own level at the very highest of surprises)

Belief #4: In December 2008, the Yankees signed C.C. Sabathia and A.J. Burnett to fix their pitching woes and help them pass the Red Sox and Rays for the AL East title. As of January 1, they were just in talks with Mark Teixeira, to join them. With a rotation of CC, AJ, Pettite, Wang, and Joba, they were expected to pitch their way to the title.

End of Year Reality #4: That’s exactly what happened. The team added Teixeira to bolster the offense, and in the playoffs they switched to a 3-man rotation, relying solely on Sabathia, Burnett & Pettite through the playoffs. Despite Alex Rodriguez admitting to using steroids and missing the early part of the season to recover from hip surgery, he started dating Kate Hudson, settled down and became clutch. Level of Surprise: Liberace and Clay Aiken playing for the other team (duh)

Belief #5: Tim Tebow and the Florida Gators were preparing to take on the Oklahoma Sooners for the national championship in Miami. Tebow was as powerful and unstoppable as the Most Interesting Man in the World from the Dos Equis commercials. The question was not whether he would win the championship, it was whether he would come back for his senior season, win another Heisman Trophy and a win a third championship.

End of the Year Reality #5: Tebow and the Gators did win the championship on January 8th and Tebow did come back for his senior season. Yet everything changed when Taylor Wyndham of Kentucky came free late in a blow out game and knocked Tebow unconscious, sending him to the hospital with a severe concussion. Suddenly he was human, there was renewed concern about his ability to play quarterback at the next level and it became clear that he was a great leader, but not among the best players in the country. He came back to play in two weeks and still was a finalist for the Heisman (finishing 5th), but the team lost their chance at a National Championship, and the aura of Tebow was broken. Level of Surprise: Jessica Simpson broke up with another boyfriend (inevitable at some point)

Belief #6: Michael Jackson had disappeared from the public radar and had become a reclusive star. There were rumors of financial trouble when he sold his Neverland ranch, and rumors of failing health when he was seen in a wheelchair. However, there was no reason to believe there would be any news around him.

End of the Year Reality #6: Michael came out in February and announced he would be doing 10 “curtain call” concerts in London. At 50 years old, he began preparing himself to put on the shows. Unfortunately, on June 25th Michael Jackson went into cardiac arrest and died, surrounded by questions regarding his personal doctor and the care and prescriptions he was receiving. The public outcry of emotion and tributes to the King of Pop continued for several months and included him posthumously collecting a handful of American Music Awards. Level of Surprise: Betty Draper finding out about Don’s secret life (no one’s rooting for it, but it was going to happen at some point)

Bonus Belief: Obama was about to take office, walk on water, bring together both parties, stop the war, solve the economic woes and fix world hunger in his spare time. The expectations were through the roof for a young politician coming out of the dirty political pool that is Chicago and Illinois.

End of Year Bonus Reality: We’re still waiting. Other than having “Cash for _______” programs, he has more rounds of golf played than problems solved. Obviously most of these problems are not quick-fixes, but we’ve seen his approval rating sink faster than Jay Leno’s ratings. I think his only campaign promise that he kept was when he said he wanted a playoff in college football, and the Senate subcommittee actually voted on it. (sorry to get political, but it is what it is) Level of Surprise: Michael Jordan's Hall of Fame Speech (suddenly falling off the pedestal)

Week 14 Hangover - Love/Hate

LOVE

- I thought the NFL was supposed to be a league of parity? If that was really the case, then why are we looking at the distinct possibility that in 3 seasons, we’ll have 3 teams that went undefeated in the regular season and a team that lost all 16 games? That seems to be the antithesis of parity.

The Colts & Saints keep finding ways to win, and the Saints are telling everyone that they plan on going full speed ahead. The Colts appear more likely rest players and coast their way to the end of the season – they don’t play another meaningful game until January 16th. It will be hard to keep your momentum when you don’t play a game with any ramifications for over a month. Get ready for a boatload of analysts telling you that they “know” the best plan for these teams to go undefeated – and almost none of them have any real knowledge since they haven’t done it.

And Mercury Morris, you attention-grabbing-idiot, there are two teams, and they’re on your doorstep, ready to jack you in the face like you’re Snooki from the Jersey Shore.

- Congrats to Mark Ingram for winning the Heisman. You’re now in the exclusive club that includes Gino Toretta, Jason White, Eric Crouch, Chris Weinke, Ron Dayne (that hurt to type), Danny Wuerffel, Andre Ware and Rashaan Salaam. And in other news, the Heisman winner has played in 8 national championship games……and lost 7 times. That’s not good news for Alabama. The only Heisman winner to take the title was Matt Leinart in 2004. Even though Suh, the defensive animal from Nebraska was the best player in the country, Ingram was the best, safe choice.

- The AFC playoff picture is about as messed up as the youngest kid from Family Ties, Brian Bonsoll. Does anyone remember that show for anything other than Michael J. Fox, his sister Mallory, the dad with the beard and Meredith Baxter Burney (who recently came out of the closet)? That could make for an interesting “where are they now” special. Anyway…..back to the AFC playoffs where Jacksonville, the Jets, Baltimore and Miami are all 7-6, tied for the last wildcard spot, and only one game behind the 8-5 Broncos. The Ravens appear to have the inside track, having all losing teams (Chicago, Pittsburgh & Oakland) remaining on their schedule, making them likely to get to 10 wins. The Jags stink, and have the Colts on Thursday, followed by New England (in Foxboro) and Cleveland. That’s 8-8 at absolute best. The Jets have Atlanta, Indy & Cincy, which makes it unlikely they’ll get better than 8-8. And the Dolphins have Tennessee, Houston & Pittsburgh, which I think puts them in line for 9-7. Denver looks likely to get to 10 wins, with Oakland and Kansas City sandwiched around Philly. Based on those schedules, it looks like Denver and Baltimore are most likely to get in.

- Speaking of Baltimore, how impressive has Ray Rice been this year? He’s second in the league in total yards per game (behind Chris Johnson of the Titans), averaging more than 130 yards/game. The guy has been impressive running and receiving and has moved into the discussion of the top 5 running backs in the league.

- Tiger Woods is taking an indefinite leave from golf. That’s in his best interest, so good luck to him in trying to save his marriage and family. Yikes. My guess is that he will not be seen or heard from until 2011. The PGA is scrambling to find another cursing, temper-tantrum-throwing dominant force to lead the tour…….or maybe they’re just going to highlight John Daly’s loss of 100 pounds and ridiculous pants.

HATE

- It’s December. Time for holiday cheer, foreigners cramming into Rockefeller Center, the Chargers winning football games and the Cowboys losing football games. This December has the potential to be absolutely crushing for Dallas, after losing two tough games to the Giants and Chargers; they have to face the Saints and a resilient Redskins team – both on the road. Then they get Philly at home to end the season, and thankfully that game takes place after the calendar turns over to 2010. The real lesson learned has nothing to do with the calendar and everything to do with the Cowboys: they’re just not that good. Romo is a middle of the pack quarterback, their receivers are not explosive, their offensive line is not dominant at all, and their defense is adequate. That is not a recipe for success. Oh, and I forgot to mention that their coach is a better fit as Santa’s helper in the local mall than he is a fit as an NFL coach.

- Tough gambling moments of the weekend: (1) The Cowboys touchdown with 2 seconds left gained a push as the Chargers were favored by 3, and (2) if the Pats could have punched it in for a late TD (Maroney was tackled at the 6 at the two minute warning) instead of taking a few knees to run out the clock, they could have gotten the cover against the Panthers.

- Cue up Dennis Green…….the Bears are who we thought they were. And Jay Cutler is exactly who we thought he was. A brash, strong-armed quarterback with big moxy when thing are going well, but pouts when they aren’t. He’s good enough to make some spectacular plays to keep you in a game, but then he’s bad enough to make some terrible mistakes that cost you the game that he kept you in. And that’s what he did (again) against Green Bay, throwing a horrid interception in the second half (his second of the day), leading to the winning score. He leads the league with 22 picks, and looks likely to keep that dubious title since Jake Delhomme won’t be playing again this season.

- Looks like Randy Moss is ready to resume his role of Bad Santa this year in New England. The guy is a freak of an athletic talent but as soon as he feels even the slightest bit of disappointment or that he has been mistreated, he packs it in. He’s like the little kid on the playground who tries to make up his own rules and then decides that he’s going to take his ball and go home as soon as things don’t go his way. Tom Brady is making the right decisions to just throw to Wes Welker on almost every pass play. Moss is treating the Pats season the same way he treated the goal post in Lambeau Field when he was a member of the Vikings.

Week 13 Hangover - Love/Hate

LOVE

- Finally after 13 weeks, I recognize that hillbilly with the gray-stubble wearing that purple #4 jersey. More impressive was the performance from the Cardinals. There is some concern with how banged up Kurt Warner is after missing last week with a concussion and injuring his hip at the end of last night’s game. However, the Cardinals defense completely shut down Adrian Peterson, and confused Favre on multiple occasions. Could they be the second-most-dangerous team in the NFC?

- The BCS Championship matchup: Love. Texas was lucky to get by Nebraska after some terrible clock management, and Colt McCoy cost himself the Heisman trophy. Why did they not use their timeout? Why did they call a roll out and casually throw it out of bounds barely leaving one second for the final kick? Maybe they were reading from the Les Miles/Andy Reid book of clock management. Here was a four-year starter at quarterback that didn’t appear to have a good grip on the game clock? In the end, we get the two big programs and probably the best teams playing for the national championship. Alabama looked dominant against Florida and Texas will have a tough time putting up points against the Bama defense, which is better than the Nebraska defense that stuffed Texas all night. I think the difference may come down to coaching, and it’s tough to go against Nick Saban with a month of preparation to come up with ways to slow down McCoy and the Texas offense. He's quickly put himself among the legendary Alabama coaches, Bear Bryant and Gene Stallings.

- Peyton Manning is better than Tom Brady. Case closed. No argument. Despite Brady having 3 Super Bowls to Manning’s one, it’s not even close. Manning continues to be a master with the Colts, crushing records, cruising through the league with new weapons around him, and running the team with perfect precision. Brady threw another 2 fourth quarter interceptions yesterday, and it’s been 5 years since his last Super Bowl title. While Brady remains in the discussion among the top quarterbacks in the league (probably still the #2), Manning is a level above him in every way…….except for the whole Gisele thing. Though he’s done pretty well considering he has more chance of being on the cover of “Herman Muenster Look-A-Likes Monthly” than GQ.

- The race for the NFC East just got a lot more interesting. While I still think the division is grossly overrated, the Cowboys and Eagles are tied at the top with 8-4 records and the Giants are now 1 game back at 7-5, and have swept the Cowboys. The Cowboys may have another December swoon, but it may be a result of their schedule more than anything. After losing in NY, they get San Diego at home and then go to New Orleans before finishing at Washington and hosting Philly. That is a brutal finishing kick. 10-6 would be an accomplishment and 9-7 would not be a stretch. Philly goes to NY this weekend, where the Giants have revenge on their minds and seem to have regained some confidence. They then have San Francisco and Denver at home before finishing at Dallas. That looks like 10-6 but 9-7 would not surprise me since the Eagles love to choke away winnable games. The Giants need to go 3-1 to have a chance, and after a home game against Philly, they go to Washington, host Carolina and finish at Minnesota. It should be an interesting run down the stretch

- Reason #2,321,768 why I will never be able to make a living gambling: The Redskins lose to the Lions, breaking Detroit’s 19 game losing streak, but then have multiple chances to knock off the 11-0 Saints. The “Bingo” offense showed life the past few weeks, and had Suisham hit the 23-yard field goal, they would have iced the game. Can Jason Campbell not handle the pressure when games matter, and as soon as the team is out of it, he looks like he could have the potential to be the Redskins’ quarterback next year? It sure appears that way. So while some might say it’s an example that the Saints can or will be beat, I think the exact opposite. They were able to pull out this game when they had a hangover from the Pats game, and didn’t play well. I think they will run the table. But I wouldn’t bet on it.

HATE

- The Fiesta Bowl matchup between TCU and Boise State. No one wants to see the two small conference teams play each other. We want to see them play against the “Big Boys” to see how they really match up and if they are as good as their unblemished records. The ratings for this game will be horrible. No one is saying “man, I really want to know if Boise State or TCU is the best unbeaten team that doesn’t get to play anyone.” Having them match up is not in the best interest of the BCS either. Now it is guaranteed that one of them will be unbeaten and can make a legit argument that they didn’t get a fair shot to prove they were the best team in the land. If you match them up separately against Georgia Tech and Florida, they both lose and suddenly it adds ammunition to the argument that the BCS works. Oh, and someone please show or tell me what the hell that hand signal thing is the TCU fans do?

- Grow up Tim Tebow. There is just something so contrived about the guy, and his big crying show he put on as he team was getting dismantled was another example of it. Of course CBS had to show his passionate/contrived speech on the sidelines imploring his defense to play better. Maybe he should have given that speech in the mirror. Random aside: Why would Florida break out the hideous alternate all-white jerseys for the conference championship game? They have strong colors in the bold blue and bright orange, and they hide all of it with white jerseys, white pants and a white helmet? Seems like they were taunting karma and got kicked in the jimmy.

- The mainstream media is going to tell us that Michael Vick is back after doing some stuff in Atlanta. Who cares? No one. He was able to get some things done in a blow out game when the Falcons had given up. It’s a non-story. The media is obsessed with trying to make a story out of this guy when he sneezes, drops a deuce or steps on the field. He’s about as relevant as Canada. Let’s just move on.

- The Steelers are going down faster than Lindsay Lohan on a table of nose candy. Four straight losses, including one to the Raiders and one to the Chiefs (who have been destroyed by the Chargers & Broncos). They are in absolute crisis mode and likely just knocked themselves out of the playoffs. I suspect this was not the “hell” that Mike Tomlin had in mind during the December. The bigger question might be whether Tom Cable saved his job in Oakland? The Raiders almost look like a pro football team, but who knows if all the off-field issues will have a detrimental effect on his long-term prospects. Someone please wake up Al Davis and ask him what he thinks.

- We’re about one more mistress away from Tiger Woods claiming he’s a sex-addict and going into rehab before the next golf season kicks off. Have you seen the latest one? After his best looking birdie (so far) came out, Jaime Jungers, he went “Steve Phillips” on us with Mindy Lawton. Yikes. I guess it’s probably just time to start bringing out women that aren’t skanks or waitresses (or both) from Vegas/Orlando that DIDN’T sleep with Tiger, as it might be a shorter list.

And Saturday Night Live did a skit about Tiger getting roughed up by his wife on the same show where the musical guest was Rhianna? That’s some unfortunate comedic timing.

And now the NY Post claims that the number is up to 9 for Tiger. Once he paid Rachel Uchitel to keep her trap shut (and I guess you could claim he paid her to keep other things open?), it opened the floodgates for every woman he ever had a conversation with to come out and offer up all the details for some easy cash.

- One more thing – so Notre Dame was turned down by Bob Stoops and now they’re going to turn to Brian Kelley at Cincinnati as their top target? Let me get this straight……they got turned down by their top target, and now they’re going after a hot name that is an offensive whizz, but doesn’t know anything about defense. Sound familiar? Five years ago, they were turned down by their top target, Urban Meyer, and they settled on an offensive genius who didn’t know defense in Charlie Weis. So how is this going to be any different or better?

NFL Power Rankings - Hotel Tiers

We interrupt the parade of Tiger’s mistresses for the weekly NFL Power Rankings.

Before we get to this week’s NFL Power Rankings, I need to vent about dudes at the gym. A couple quick rules that everyone should know, but obviously they don’t. They don’t really apply to women because let’s be honest, guys are going to see you as the motivation for their workouts, and you can wear or do anything you want at the gym. But for the dudes:

1. If your shorts are so short that your johnson would hang out if you were hung more than a light switch, you shouldn’t be wearing those shorts in public.

2. No pants while working out. Sweat pants are only to be worn while watching football at home, on the way to the gym over shorts, or when you’ve given up on life.

3. Use a towel – on the benches when you’re lifting and on the benches in the locker room after your shower.

4. Four Words: Sandals. In. The. Shower.

5. Spend more time doing your workout than walking around and flexing in the mirror.

Last weekend, many people traveled home for the Thanksgiving holiday, leading to sleeping in your childhood bedroom. It can lead to awkward moments if you bring home your spouse, or significant other, and then have to share your twin bed underneath your poster of Carmen Electra. Or maybe your room has been converted to an office for your father, so you’re sleeping on an air mattress, and you know what magazines your dad keeps in that lower drawer of his desk. Or possibly you’re staying with your in-laws and you and your wife get to sleep in your brother-in-laws room because the bed is bigger and he has to sleep on an air mattress or a couch in the basement with the dog that can’t control his bowels at night. No matter what the situation is and how much you enjoy spending time with your family, you’re longing for the comfort and amenities of a nice hotel room.

Which leads us to this week’s rankings, with the teams broken out into categories based on hotels within the Starwood group…….well almost all within the Starwood group. I’m a loyal Starwood guy, having built up a million points through work travel and the Starwood Amex card. Maybe I can get them to sponsor the site if I give them any more praise…………..so on to the rankings. This week’s biggest climbers are the Broncos (+7), Ravens (+5) and Jets (+5). The biggest falling team is the Jaguars (-7).

The St. Regis Tier
The nicest of the hotels in the Starwood family, the St. Regis is their answer to the Four Seasons. Top of the line everything, well-appointed hotels in fantastic locations. These are the top teams, the class of the league and the teams with the best chance to win the Super Bowl. Watching these teams and staying at these hotels are enjoyable and a nice luxury.

1. Saints (last week: 1) – They dominated the Pats and need to watch out for a letdown against the plucky Redskins this week. Don’t trade down from your spot with a Swedish model to a Vegas skank or two, Saints. And that’s probably good advice for everyone, Tiger and all of us out there, don’t fall for skanks from Vegas.

2. Colts (2) – They have come from behind in the fourth quarter to win in five straight games. It seems like that’s a dam waiting to break. But when you have a guy like Manning under center, the team never loses confidence in their ability to win any game.

3. Vikings (3) – They are dominating average competition and are making Vikings fans think of 1998……well at least until they choked in the NFC Championship.

4. Chargers (5) – They’ve won 6 straight games, and Phillip Rivers has the offense racking up points. They have taken command of their division and are now playing the way many of the pundits believed they would play all year.

5. Bengals (7) – They bounced back from their disappointment in Oakland, and with Larry Johnson grinding out 100+ yards, they now have a dangerous three-headed monster in their backfield. So the decision on which back to give the ball to is probably similar to the decision Tiger had to make with every trip to Vegas with Michael Jordan.

The Le Meridian Tier
It is a trendy, prestigious hotel with a European flavor. It sounds good to tell your friends you were at the Le Meridian, because of that name flair. However, when you take a little deeper look, there’s something strange about the “Le” in front of the name. First, it’s French, meaning it’s weak and probably going to surrender. Or look at other things that tried the “Le” trick, like the Le Car from Renault. How did that work out? These teams are strong teams that can beat anyone in the league, but they have a “French” component to them.

6. Cowboys (8) – Well we made it to December, so it’s time to see if Romo Pyle turns into a pumpkin yet again. The Boys are 8-3 and leading their division, but does anyone believe Wade Phillips will be back next year?

7. Cardinals (6) – The Cards can’t take too big of a hit for losing to the hot Titans on the last play while playing without Kurt Warner. Their offense is still dangerous and their defense is playing pretty well.

8. Patriots (4) – They are now 0-4 on the road (technically the Bucs game in London was a “road” game, but that doesn’t count), and their defense cannot stop a legit offense. Yet they are going to cruise to the division title, meaning one home game before having to face the Bengals or Colts (as of now) on the road.

9. Packers (10) – Why did the Packers not give a call to former Packer and Saint Mike Mckenzie (who was unemployed) as a potential replacement when Al Harris went down for the season? Oh yeah, because Teddy Thompson already ticked off The Predator and sent him out of town a few years ago.

10. Eagles (11) – Philly continues to stay in the hunt for the NFC East title despite Andy Reid’s over-coaching. And their young playmakers are getting more experienced every week.

11. Ravens (16) – It was a major statement win for the Ravens to beat the Steelers, even with Dixon at quarterback. And Ray Rice has shown what an electric talent he is, particularly on that 4th down catch putting the team in position for the tying field goal in regulation.

12. Steelers (9) – They don’t take too big of a hit for losing to the Ravens with Dixon at QB, but they do take a major hit because of the locker room friction between Roethlisberger and Hines Ward. Mike Tomlin has his hands full explaining that Big Ben was being responsible about his melon and not being a wimp.

W Hotel Tier
The W Hotel chain is always extremely trendy and the place for the party crowd to stay in an ultra-modern room with futuristic furniture. The W also typically will have the best lounges and clubs within the hotel. It’s the place to find celebrities who like the limelight, like when we stayed at the W in Westwood, CA (just outside LA) and say Ted Danson, Hines Ward, Takeo Spikes, James Farrior, Limas Sweed, Dhani Jones and Bridget from the Girls Next Door.

13. Broncos (20) – They dominated the Giants on Thanksgiving, which may have been as much of a statement about the Giants as it was about the Broncos. Josh McDaniels has his mother f@#kers back on the right track. (if you didn’t hear/see it, Josh dropped a very audible MF on the NFL network broadcast on Thursday night)

14. Falcons (15) – How do you think Atlanta will welcome Mike Vick to town on Sunday? Unfortunately, they need to be more concerned that their new franchise quarterback, Matt Ryan, will not be playing.

15. Titans (17) – They are dangerous, and on the verge of getting back to .500 at 6-6 if they can beat the Colts. And with Young playing with renewed confidence and Chris Johnson on pace to set records, it is definitely a possibility.

16. Giants (12) – The defense still can’t stop anyone, Eli Manning’s foot continues to bother him, and the offensive line can’t open any holes for Brandon Jacobs. So why does Justin Tuck think they’ll make a run at the playoffs?

17. Jets (22) – Rex Ryan brought in Joe Girardi to teach Mark Sanchez how to slide. Can he bring in Derek Jeter to teach Braylen Edwards to catch?

18. Texans (14) – I’m not sure that the Texans can save Gary Kubiak’s job. He has taken the team as far as he can, but he obviously hasn’t been able to teach them how to close teams out. Matt Schaub needs to learn the value of not turning the ball over.

19. 49ers (21) – They kept themselves on the fringe of the playoff picture, and Alex Smith continues to make a case that he could be an average quarterback in the NFL.

The Westin Hotel Tier
The Westin is a step above basic. Not flashy, not fancy and not overly expensive. It is a very nice hotel to stay at for business or vacation. These are the teams that no one is bragging about, but they can provide some entertainment. Unfortunately for a few of these teams….ahem, Bears & Panthers, many of those highlights are of the other team picking off yet another pass.

20. Jaguars (13) – This is the worst team in the league with a winning record. They have been outscored 61-3 in their two trips to Seattle and San Francisco. Awful.

21. Dolphins (18) – That was a bad loss to the Bills, but again, they are the Dolphins. The Wildcat offense is streaky, and the Dolphins are a .500 team at best.

22. Bears (23) – Lovie Smith is now coaching every week for his job. And the name that makes the most sense is Mike Shanahan after the Bears clean out Jerry Angelo as well.

23. Panthers (19) – Jake Delhomme is like a box of chocolates, because you never know what you’re going to get. Another 4 interceptions last week against the Jets and John Fox continues to hang onto the sinking anchor. Good luck as a coordinator next year, Mr. Fox.

The Sheraton Hotel Tier
The Sheraton is the basic hotel. Nothing is fancy and it is nowhere near luxury, but it has all the basic things you need, like a bed, a gym, and likely a pool. There aren't too many creepy people staying there, and likely that the shower was cleaned this month. It is no luxury to watch these teams play, but with the college football regular season wrapping up, it is nice to still watch football. And well, most of these teams are just a step above the best college teams.

24. Bills (27) – They snuck up and bit the Dolphins, giving their interim coach his first win. The interesting thing is that suddenly TO has emerged under the new coach from a season-long slumber. Is he trying to prove that he he still has a little bit left in the tank?

25. Redskins (15) – They have been playing better lately, and appear to be playing hard. But it’s likely just players playing for a contract next season and showing off for other teams so they can hopefully get out of the toxic situation in Washington.

26. Seahawks (29) – They beat the Rams. Celebrate like Pete Carroll after running up the score on UCLA!!

27. Chiefs (24) – Royals & Chiefs. At least Kansas City can celebrate that they make a mean barbeque.

The Motel 6 Tier
This isn’t a Starwood property, but it’s much more fitting for these teams at the bottom of the barrel. They’ll leave the light on for you, which is what these teams hope they can see at the end of a very long, and very dark tunnel.

28. Raiders (26) – They are utterly unwatchable. It’s about time to start guessing what player they will reach for in the draft next year. Maybe they’ll take the kid from Florida who just got busted for DUI for sleeping at the wheel of his car at a stop light. Seems like perfect Raider material.

29. Lions (28) – Words that Daunte Culpepper should apply to his playing ability: “It is better to keep one’s mouth shut and be thought an idiot than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.”

30. Buccaneers (30) – They’re playing hard and have been competitive, which should be enough to keep Raheem Morris around for another year.

31. Rams (31) – Steven Jackson leads the league in carries for a team with the worst record in the league. Interesting and unlikely given how often they have been trailing. The last time the league leader in carries was on a team with a losing record was 1987, when Charles White led the league for the 6-9 Rams.

32. Browns (32) – Eric Mangini has managed to stay out of the headlines the last few weeks, which may help him with that very slim chance of keeping his job past the end of this season.