Quick Hits

While New York is getting all excited for LeBron James next season, the fact that he filed the paper work for a new number next season is strike against the Knicks. LeBron filed the paperwork to change from his current jersey number 23 to number 6, his Olympic number, next season. What does it mean and why would he do it? Well, if he were to sign with a new team this summer, he wouldn’t need to file any paperwork – he could choose any number he wants. So his filing is really only relevant if he stays in Cleveland. Does that mean he’s staying in Cleveland next season? Not necessarily. LeBron has smart people around him, and filing for the number change goes right along with “keeping all of his options open” like he has said he would do from the start. LeBron loves the attention and loves the wonder and mystery of where he will play next season. The Sports Addict Prediction: LeBron James will NOT sign with the Knicks and he will resign in Cleveland. The Knicks will settle for Chris Bosh and Joe Johnson.

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Did you see the article that the earthquake in Chile may have shifted the Earth on its axis? That’s insane. But I think they need to confirm that it wasn’t just Kevin Smith jumping up and down to protest Southwest Airline’s handling of fat people on their flights. Or maybe Kevin Smith was throwing his tantrum at the same time that Rick Majerus was hopping mad arguing that his St. Louis team is still on the bubble to make the NCAA tournament.

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As all of the rumors come out about the NFL draft next month and we hear what team likes what players, keep in mind – it’s in the teams’ best interest to mislead everyone. Obviously, a team that likes a player wants him to slide to them. A team that dislikes a player wants some other team to be a sucker and pick him. Therefore we have already heard that the Rams love Ndamukong Suh, and that they will take a QB like Sam Bradford, and now they love Oklahoma defensive linemen Gerald McCoy. Why would anyone with knowledge of the team’s intentions give anything away to a blogger or journalist knowing that it’s going to be broadcast out to the masses immediately? Because they want to improve their contract negotiations with the candidates for the top draft pick, or they want to make sure their guy is still on the board when their draft position comes up. Right now, anything said by NFL team management is about as reliable as taking acting lessons from Jennifer Love Hewitt.

Side note – if you ever want to get a girl angry or fired up, say these simple words: “You know who is a really great actress? Jennifer Love Hewitt.” It is 100% guaranteed to cause the girl to huff and puff and get entremely annoyed. I am not really sure why that is or what Hewitt has done to women that they absolutely abhor her acting skills, or lack their of. I mean, is she a great actress? No. Yet there is something in all women DNA that causes them to be repulsed when a guy suggests she is a good actress. Try it out and let me know the results. I’ve yet to meet a woman that doesn’t overreact with horror at the thought.

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NCAA Tournament expansion is an absolutely horrific idea. WHY? No #16 seed has ever beaten a #1 seed. There have been very few #2 seeds that have lost in the first round. So do we really think a #24 seed is going to have a chance? Why don’t we just do away with the tournament, take down the scoreboards in the arenas and give everyone a nice ribbon and share some orange slices after the season? More does not mean better. The opening days of the tournament are among my favorite days of the entire year, but it’s because of the 5-12, 4-13, 8-9 & 7-10 matchups. That’s where you get the upsets and great finishes. Yet because of the almighty dollar that ESPN is going to throw at the NCAA in favor of expanding, you know it’s going to happen. It’s about as certain as a Pam Anderson “wardrobe malfunction” on Dancing With The Stars next season.

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Who is the hottest team in the Big Ten since their best player returned from injury? Ohio State with Evan Turner? Michigan State with Kalen Lucas? Or Wisconsin with Jon Leuer? It is hard to take anything from the Badgers destruction of Indiana and Iowa, because both teams are terrible. Yet Leuer has brought an inside presence on defense to go with another offensive weapon for Bo Ryan. We will know more after they travel to Champaign to take on Illinois this weekend. The Badgers have a chance to play their way up to a #3 seed in the NCAA Tournament with a solid run in the Big Ten conference tourney, but look most like a #4 seed. Keys to advancing in the tournament? Strong guard play: Trevon Hughes, Jordan Taylor and Jason Bohannon. Shooting: Bohannon & Leuer. Guys who can create their own shot: Hughes & Taylor. Post presence: Leuer & Keaton Nankovil. Defense: Bo Ryan. The pieces are their and they are getting hot at the right time.

Degenerate Friday!! Week 17 NFL Picks

New Year’s Resolution #3,217: Pick more games correctly. Last week was another .500 week with an 8-8 record.

New Year’s Resolution #3218: Figure out how to say “rural”


Say the word “rural” out loud a couple times in a row - how do you say it? Is it RU-ral? Rrrrl? Roorl? It’s just one of those words that sounds like you’ve just come from the dentist and your mouth is numb from Novocain whenever you say it. Just a window into my messed up mind while dealing with a solid hangover by eating pigs in a blanket and having a couple beers during the Rose Bowl. Oh, and someone tell Joe Paterno that he won the Capital One Bowl - pretty sure that old bastard has no idea.

Anyway, on to the week 17 NFL picks with plenty of games that could affect the playoff picture. It also has plenty of teams that will be playing their second stringers…..the guys who couldn’t land Megan Fox, but would have a pretty good shot with Ashley Greene. No categories this week because the only categories I can think of are the different drinks I had last night: wine, champagne, gin, tequila and beer.

Standard Disclosures: Recreational Use, Home Teams in CAPS, spreads from the Post, etc.


VIKINGS (-9) over Giants - Favre & company find solace back home against the banged up G-men.

JETS (-10) over Bengals - Cincy will be resting their starters and not showing anything they will use next week when they crush the Jets in a game that matters.


BILLS (+3) over Colts - If Indy didn’t play Peyton last week, why would you expect them to play him out in the elements in Buffalo? I just suggested betting on Brian Brohm…….that must be the booze talking.

PANTHERS (-3) over Saints - Panthers are playing as well as anyone, and even though the Saints would like to regain some momentum, they don’t want Julius Peppers dropping Drew Brees like Taylor Swift dropped that other Taylor dude from the Vampire Movies.


BROWNS (-1.5) over Jaguars - Hard to imagine a tyrant like Holmgren keeping a tyrant as Mangini for his coach, but has a coach ever been fired after a 4 game winning streak?


Eagles (+3) over COWBOYS - Dallas wants revenge from last year’s season ending thumping and can win the NFC East and have a chance to get a first round bye. Yet the Eagles are more talented and can secure the bye for themselves with a win.


Bears (-3) over LIONS - Lions give themselves a shot at the first draft pick by doing what they’ve done all year - get their rear ends kicked.


Patriots (+8) over TEXANS - The Texans are more desperate than the Pats, but Houston will not be facing the New England second string as long as they were hoping.


Steelers (Pick) DOLPHINS - Pittsburgh is angry and the Dolphins are not very good.


49ers (-7) over RAMS - St. Louis locks up Nebraska’s Suh by getting crushed again.


Falcons (-2.5) over BUCCANEERS - Tampa is playing better, but Atlanta has a chance to get their first consecutive winning seasons in franchise history.


CARDINALS (-3.5) over Packers - Arizona has an outside shot at a round 1 bye and the Packers are locked into their wild card slot. Green Bay will not want to show anything to a team they will likely play the following week.


BRONCOS (-13) over Chiefs - Kansas City is terrible. Even though Denver only has 3 healthy WRs, it will be enough to knock the Chiefs over.


RAIDERS (-10.5) over Ravens - Ravens lock themselves into the playoffs with a win, but after the cross country flight, they won’t dominate the plucky Raiders.


Redskins (+4) over CHARGERS - San Diego has less than nothing to play for which will allow them to win a close game over the hapless Skins. At the beginning of the year, it appeared Norv Turner had a better chance of being fired than Jim Zorn. Now Turner is likely the Coach of the Year.

NFL Power Rankings

I skipped last week’s rankings due to the holiday, but we’re back with them this week. Again, it’s New Year’s eve, so most people are getting ready to get drunk and hope some girl gets tipsy enough to kiss them at midnight. Therefore, the rankings will be fast and furious this week. And since most of us will be waking up with a raging headache and hangover on Friday, let’s hope Mike Leach isn’t around to ban us to a dark equipment shed.

Oh, and before the rankings, a really good article written by former major leaguer Doug Glanville on the whole culture of athletes and struggling to handle the money, power, fame and women that come with being a pro athlete.

So on to the rankings with no categories this week........because it's almost time to start drinking away 2009. Happy New Year everyone.

1. Chargers - Playing better than anyone else in the NFL. They have to scare the Colts right now.

2. Colts - Yes, they gave it up easier than Alyssa Milano to a pro baseball player, but the Colts remain dangerous as long as they have #18 under center.

3. Eagles - They are the hottest team other than San Diego…..but it is the regular season. Do they have the mental make-up to succeed in the playoffs? And can Andy Reid not mess it up?

4. Saints - So do they play their starters in a meaningless game to regain some of their mojo and risk exposing Drew Brees to Julius Peppers? Remember, Peppers is playing for a new contract now and ask Brett Favre if he appears to be motivated.

5. Cardinals - Arizona has a chance to steal a first round bye if the Eagles and Vikings lose this week and the Cardinals beat the Packers. Otherwise, they will host the Packers next week again. Can Beanie Wells be the difference maker in the playoffs?

6. Packers - Practically the only team in the NFC without a chance to get the #2 seed, the Packers are playing well and have a shot to make it through the conference entirely on the road. Would the Pack like another shot at Favre?

7. Patriots - I would say the “Randy Moss is dogging it” train has jumped the tracks at this point. The biggest concern in New England is why Laurence Maroney keeps fumbling on the goal line.

8. Vikings - Lost in the whole “Favre & Childress Peeing Contest” is the fact that Adrian Peterson has a serious fumbling problem. He runs hard, but also runs loose with the balls…….insert your own Tiger joke.

9. Bengals - They will know before they kick off on Sunday night whether they have a shot at the #3 seed or if they can rest their starters and play the Jets again the following week. They have been the biggest surprise in the league and have the running game to be a factor in the playoffs.

10. Cowboys - They ended up .500 in December this year, which is a huge improvement. However, if they don’t win a playoff game, will Wade Phillips be back next year? I’d guess he’s as out as Claye Aiken.

11. Ravens - They can play their way into the playoffs by beating the lowly Raiders. If they can’t beat Oakland, they don’t deserve to be anywhere near the playoffs.

12. Steelers - I think the past two weeks were the “hell” that Mike Tomlin wanted released at the beginning of December. Unfortunately, when they got smoked by Browns, it put them in a whole where they are now begging for a lot of help to make the playoffs.

13. Texans - The Texans seem as comfortable at 8-8 or 9-7 as Kelly Brook does in a bikini. If they beat the Pats, they finish over .500 but is that enough to save Gary Kubiak’s job?

14. Panthers - They are finally playing like everyone thought they would at the beginning of the season. Unfortunately, Jake Delhomme put them in a hole to start the year that they couldn’t get out of by the end of the year.

15. Jets - The most fortunate team in the league with gifts from the Colts and potentially from the Bengals to push New York into the playoffs. What’s the over/under for the number of INTs by Sanchez on the road in the playoffs? 4 or 5?

16. Titans - Chris Johnson has a great chance to hit 2,000 yards for the season and an outside chance to break Eric Dickerson’s single season record. It’s still not enough to get the MVP.

17. Falcons - They should be motivated this week to get to 9-7 which would be the first time in franchise history (since 1966) they would have back-to-back winning seasons. Doesn’t that sound amazing that Atlanta has NEVER had consecutive winning seasons?

18. Broncos - Are they going to fire Mike Shanahan again after this late season collapse? They were better than they were last year, but still have a ton of holes.

19. Dolphins - This team overachieved considering the lack of receiving playmakers and weak defense. At least they learned Ricky Williams still has plenty in the tank.

20. 49ers - It has to be the quarterback, right? They have a playmaker RB and a playmaker TE and now a playmaker WR in Crabtree. They have a great middle LB in Patrick Willis. They have turds playing QB.

21. Giants - The defense let them down this year, which means there is no chance Bill Sheridan comes back for a second year as d-coordinator.

22. Jaguars - Maybe they could hire Mike Leach to run their offense and bring in Tim Tebow to play QB? Just a crazy thought……..but it sounds pretty good, right?

23. Bears - Cutler finally breaks the primetime jinx against the Vikings. I texted my brother after the Vikings scored to make it 23-7 and suggested it was time for the Cutler back-breaker INT. He responded that it would likely be from inside their own 35. Within one minute, Cutler rolled out and from his own 33, threw an INT that allowed the Vikings to really get the offense going and eventually forced overtime.

24. Browns - Could Big Show Holmgren fire Mangini if they end the season on a 4 game winning streak? Is the Mangini program finally working or are the players just playing harder to audition for next season?

25. Bills - Will the Colts subject Manning, Wayne & Company to the cold in Buffalo this week? Will the Bills be able to beat the Colts second string? Does anyone care? I don’t.

26. Redskins - At long last, the circus that has been the Redskins season is finally almost over.

27. Raiders - Tom Cable completely threw JaMarcus Russell under the bus when he admitted that better quarterback play earlier in the year could have saved their season. That’s about as brutal as the allegations that Lindsay Lohan’s dad kicked his ex-girlfriend in the baby-maker. Seriously, dude? What the…….?

28. Buccaneers - Nice job by Raheem Morris to cost themselves a better draft pick in the past two weeks.

29. Seahawks - They shouldn’t even bother showing up this week because they didn’t last week in Green Bay. Just let the University of Washington play the Seahawks game because they have a legit NFL QB in Jake Locker.

30. Chiefs - Coach Todd Haley said he didn’t flip off the fans, right? Pretty sure the fans deserve to flip him off for enduring this season in Kansas City.

31. Lions - The bright side is that it won’t take much to start the decade better than they ended this last one.

32. Rams - Sadly, they haven’t locked up the top pick in the draft yet to guarantee them Ndamukong Suh.