Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Tuesday Ramblings - Awards Show!

The Oscar Nominations came out today which means people with even more free time than me will be trying to argue whether computer generated 3-D is more impressive than movies set in reality with people doing mostly realistic things. I haven’t seen Avatar – yes, I’m one of the 5 who haven’t – and I don’t have any desire to see it. The whole 3-D thing is not of interest to me, and I’m not a science fiction fan, with the exception of Star Wars, so I probably will never see it.

Anyway, so how do I link that to today’s post? How about handing out some awards for the NFL Playoffs thus far? Sure, why not? And since we’re holding our own awards show, I’ll make sure to invite Katy Perry to the show, just for entertainment for you. You’re welcome.

Best Performance – Male: Peyton Manning – QB Colts

This one is more of a slam dunk than Jerry Rice being elected to the Hall of Fame on Saturday. Manning went through two of the toughest defenses in the league in Baltimore and the Jets on his way to the Super Bowl. Even if the Ravens and Jets were the #5 and #6 seeds, they were the most physical teams in the playoffs, and Manning was masterful in dissecting them. The only thing left for him to do is to claim the Lombardi trophy on Sunday night. He’s marching his way up the list of all-time quarterbacks (as we discussed last week).

Best Supporting Performance – Female: Kim Kardashian

Whatever she did to motivate Reggie Bush before the playoffs started seemed to work. Whether the alleged threat of marriage to Kim was a motivator or not can be debated, but something got into him against the Cardinals and he looked like that guy with an extra gear that he was during his career at USC. Kim will be at the Super Bowl this weekend, and I’m sure that we’ll be treated to numerous shots of her up in a luxury box, wearing her Saints gear and rooting for her own ring to match Reggie’s Super Bowl winning ring.

Best Director: Rex Ryan – NY Jets

The outspoken, rotund coach of the Jets got his team to believe that they were the best team in the playoffs and advanced further than no one but him thought was possible. While he fell short of the ultimate goal of getting to the Super Bowl, he had a rookie quarterback, a rookie running back and a wide receiver who couldn’t catch the ball. He was basically the equivalent of that guy who made Napoleon Dynamite – a cast of nobody actors and actresses that somehow turned into one of the funniest movies of the decade.

Worst Best Performance: Adrian Peterson – RB Vikings

Another slam dunk that is almost as sure of a bet as whether there will be fireworks in Chicago between perpetually angry Mike Martz with his perpetually pouting quarterback, Jay Cutler. Peterson busted off over 100 yards and 3 TDs against the Saints, yet all anyone wanted to talk about was his penchant for fumbling. He is on the verge of losing his standing as the best running back in the league. If they gave out this award in movies, Megan Fox would win every year. There is no worse actress who still gets roles in bad movies.

Fastest Deterioration from a Franchise QB to a Mediocre Game Manager: Carson Palmer – QB Bengals

This was a guy that in his 2nd through 5th year in the league averaged 4,000 yards and over 28 touchdowns per season. Yet this year he barely threw for over 3,000 yards and in the playoffs against the Jets, he threw for 146 yards. What happened? I get the knee injury which cost him a full season of trying to get back to full strength but he doesn’t even resemble the same strong-armed quarterback with a pocket presence that he was when he came into the league. This would be the Jennifer Lopez award for someone that gained attention with one aggressively cut dress, and continues to try and convince people she’s talented, when we all know the truth.

Best Performance Blowing Team’s Chances: San Diego Chargers

So, you’re getting ready to play the best defense in the league in the divisional playoff game on your home field. How would you stay focused? Get a little extra film session in to make sure you are ultra-familiar with the Jets extensive blitz packages? Spend some quality time with your family to relax and allow yourself to conserve energy? Or head over to the Pure Platinum club and get boozed up with strippers? Yeah, we know what the Chargers chose, and that couldn’t have helped prevent them from choking against the Jets.

Biggest Disappointment – Team: New England Patriots

Before this season, there were a couple of things that appeared carved in stone: You don’t beat Bill Belichick and Tom Brady in New England during the playoffs. You don’t bet against Bill Belichick and Tom Brady in the playoffs. You don’t question any decisions by Bill Belichick on the field. All of those came crashing down this year, from the failed 4th and 2 against the Colts, Brady looking awful in the playoffs and the Patriots bowing out after losing at Gillette Stadium. It will be interesting to see where they go from here. Basically, they’re Jennifer Anniston after Friends ended and she was in a couple of poor movies like Rumor Has It. Are the Patriots going to bounce back and like Jen, look better with age?

Most Expected Meltdown that Somehow Surprised Us But Should Not Have: Philadelphia Eagles

Let’s see, we have the worst clutch quarterback with a winning record and the worst clutch playoff coach in history going on the road against a divisional rival. And this same team had already lost in Oakland earlier in the year. Yet somehow we were convinced that the Eagles might actually have a chance against the Cowboys? Andy Reid and Donovan McNabb have made careers of collapsing in the playoffs and coming up short in big moments. Yet somehow the Eagles tempt us like John Mayer with all of the starlets in Hollywood (& now Nashville as it is rumored he’s seeing Taylor Swift). And it ends the same way, tears and disappointment.

Best Dramatic Performance: Cardinals beating Packers in Overtime

This was the best game of the playoffs, without question. There were a ton of blow outs in this year’s playoffs, but this one was not one of them, despite the Cardinals jumping out to a 21 point lead early. There were huge plays, controversial calls and non-calls, and tremendous performances from both quarterbacks. Obviously as a Packer fan, the result was crushing for me, yet taking the fan side of things and putting it aside, this game was beyond entertaining to watch.

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