Degenerate Friday - On Thursday! NBA Playoffs - West

The NBA playoffs begin this weekend, so let’s break down the each conference, starting in the West because my brain is still in California. The biggest difference between being in California and New York – aside from the weather? The driving. Out west for an entire week, and I never heard a single car horn honk. They don’t use them at all. In New York? The horn is a way for cabs to let the pedestrians know he is about to mow them down. It is a way to let people know they can’t just stop in the middle of the road. And it is a way to let cars know they haven’t jumped on their gas pedal 0.2 seconds after the light turned green. The other difference while driving is that in California, the people wave with all of their fingers when they’re allowing you to merge in front of their Toyota Prius, Lexus Hybrid, or 1987 Mercedes (no snow means no salt which means no rust on the cars so there are an inordinate number of 20+ year old cars that are not collectors cars yet still in great condition). And instead of the “Jersey Special” cars – white cars with ultra black tinted windows, there were the “Low-Rider Special” cars – pick-up trucks dropped down low over 24 inch chrome rims with Spanish writing across the top of the windshield.

Anyway, let’s get to the Western Conference…….(odds from lasvegassportsbetting.com)

#1 Los Angeles Lakers vs. #8 Oklahoma City Thunder

Lakers odds: 2/3 to win the West, 5/2 to win the NBA Championship
Thunder odds: 20/1 to win the West, 40/1 to win the NBA Championship

This series has all the makings of Michael Jordan and the Bulls going up against the Celtics in 1986. That was the series where Jordan put up 63 in the double overtime game and produced that memorable clip where he crossed over between his legs multiple times before hitting the fade away jumper on Larry Bird. Kevin Durant will be playing the role of Jordan, and the defending champion Lakers will be playing the role of the 1985 (and eventual 1986) champion Celtics. The Thunder have an incredible young nucleus but their lack of playoff experience will be exploited by Phil Jackson and his veteran team. Like a match up of Miley Cyrus against Jennifer Aniston – you appreciate the young and vigor of Cyrus and know that she will likely have her day as a champion eventually, but not right now. Right now, it’s still a league that is dominated by a veteran like Aniston even if she has picked up a few scars along the way. The Lakers have showed some signs of tiring as the season wound down, but they may have just began to coast sooner than the rest of the league. They still have the inside game of Pau Gasol and they have the most clutch player in the entire league in Kobe Bryant.

Unfortunately for gambling purposes, the Lakers are not a great value bet either to win the conference or to win the title. However, as much as I want to find a team that can beat the Lakers, I really can’t see it happening until the Finals. I guess sometimes it’s better to get the bet correct than it is to get the best value (see, I’ve learned from the NCAA tournament)

First Round Pick: Lakers in 5 games

#2 Dallas Mavericks vs. #7 San Antonio Spurs

Mavericks odds: 6/1 to win the West, 12/1 to win the NBA Title
Spurs odds: 9/1 to win the West, 20/1 to win the NBA Title

The Mavs reloaded with the trade for Caron Butler and Brendan Haywood, which has revitalized the team and given them a great shot. The best comparison I can think of for the Mavs is Kim Kardashian – she had an attractive face and a great body, so she just added a little talent to the front court and she’s ready to compete with anyone. The Mavs added a little to their front court with Haywood and Butler and they present the biggest challenge to the Lakers in the West. They also still have one of the best scorers in the league in Dirk Nowitzki who will pose match-up problems for the Spurs. The Mavs have the diverse scoring options which should be enough to exploit the strong defense fo the Spurs, carrying them into the second round.

The Spurs still have the experience and heart of a champion, but they are on their last legs. The addition of younger players like Richard Jefferson and rookie DeJuan Blair was basically like Harrison Ford getting his ear pierced. He thinks it makes him look younger and more hip, but in reality, it just shows even more that he is old and past his prime. Like the Spurs, he was great in his day – among the best ever – but that day has passed. The Spurs can still play defense, as evidenced by them allowing the second-fewest points per game in the Western conference and holding teams to the lowest field goal percentage in the West. That will allow them to keep the series close, but they are an aging fighter with a few good punches left in their arsenal. Maybe a better comparison for the Spurs would be Sylvester Stallone rather than Harrison Ford.

For gambling purposes, the Mavs are a pretty good buy to win the West, as they have the talent and momentum to do battle with the Lakers. They have experience and talent at the key positions to match up with the defending champs. However, just like in 2006 when the refs gave Dwayne Wade the benefit of every single call the entire series, they don’t have the biggest superstars who will get the calls down the stretch. Dirk is a star, but will not get the benefits that Kobe, Carmelo, Wade or LeBron will.

First Round Prediction: Mavericks in 6 games

#3 Phoenix Suns vs. #6 Portland Trailblazers

Suns odds: 15/1 to win the West, 25/1 to win the NBA title
Trailblazers odds: 25/1 to win the West, 45/1 to win the NBA title

The Suns Jared Dudley has always been an idiot, dating back to his days as a spaz at Boston College. Well, some things never change. He commented this week that he wanted to play the Blazers because of the Brandon Roy injury. Why would he want to give the Blazers locker room material? Because he’s an idiot. Thankfully for the Suns, they still have Steve Nash playing as well as he has in his entire career and Amare Stoudemire has decided to put his contract worries aside and get back to playing basketball. The Suns are like Heidi Montag – their plastic surgery was removing Terry Porter as coach – so they fit the profile of a strong contender, but like Heidi’s flaw of her messed up self image, the Suns have a fatal flaw which is a lack of defense. The NBA playoffs slow the game down and teams have to grind it out by playing defense and half court offense. That’s where the Suns fail.

The Blazers with a healthy Brandon Roy would have been very well positioned to win this series. However, without Roy – even if he plays, he is not going to have the same explosiveness – the Blazers will not be able to keep up. The Blazers are also defensively challenged despite the fact that they allowed the fewest points per game in the western conference. They allowed the highest opponent field goal percentage of any playoff team in the West, meaning they slow the game down (they score the second fewest points in the west), but give up too many easy or open looks. That will be a problem against the Suns, especially since they won’t have a full version of their best scoring option. Like Kate Hudson, who supposedly had a boob job recently, you wanted to root for her but the surgery makes you rethink whether she has some major issues.

There’s nothing to see here from a gambling perspective. Neither of these teams will be able to advance past the Conference Finals at best.

First Round Prediction: Suns in 6 games

#4 Denver Nuggets vs. #5 Utah Jazz

Nuggets odds: 6/1 to win the West, 12/1 to win the NBA title
Jazz odds: 8/1 to win the West, 20/1 to win the NBA title

The Nuggets have the superstar in Carmelo Anthony that is needed to succeed in the NBA playoffs. They have the motivation of playing for their cancer-stricken coach, George Karl. They have talent across the board. Yet there is just something generally unlikeable about this team. Is it because of Kenyon Martin? Is it that although the Birdman, Chris Anderson, has a game you can like, he looks like a complete idiot? Or is it Carmelo Anthony himself? As good as Anthony is, he comes across as a pouting, immature player who can’t quite raise his game when the team needs him the most. They resemble Ashley Dupre, the infamous hooker that was caught up in the Eliot Spitzer scandal. As much as she tries to rehab her image with help from the NY Post, she’s still a former (maybe still current?) call girl who just recently posed in Playboy. Just like as much as Carmelo rehabs his image, he’s still the same guy who got busted with weed and made the video telling kids not to be a snitch.

The Jazz and Jerry Sloan continue to cruise along as one of the better teams in the league that no one really talks about. Is there a better coach out there than Jerry Sloan? He has made the transition from Karl Malone and John Stockton to a team led by Derron Williams and has remained among the better teams in the competitive Western Conference. Like Ed Norton, you never think of him first among the best actors out there, but look at his filmography and you can’t help but be impressed. The Jazz play fundamentally sound basketball which is why this first round match-up is among the most difficult to predict. They have the talent and discipline combined with Sloan’s coaching to make a really deep run in the West, but will that be enough to overcome the talent of the Nuggets?

I’m going to take another lesson from my NCAA spanking, and not go against a team just because I don’t like them. I’m going to put money on the Nuggets using the motivation of their ailing coach to come together with their talent across the board. I think they are the gambling pick to win the Western Conference.

First Round Prediction: Nuggets in 7 games

If the Olympics Start and No One Notices.......

I heard that the Olympics are starting this weekend. Does anyone care? Probably not. The reason the Olympics are not interesting doesn’t even involve the fact that they are in Canada or that they are currently trucking in snow because of the unseasonably warm weather in Vancouver. As I’ve stated multiple times here before, I am not a fan of Canada (I may or may not have used the phrase “Canada is proof that Indians f#$ked buffalo”), yet Vancouver is one of the most scenic places I have ever been. The mountains, the fresh air, the waterfront and beautiful trails and parks. A great place for a fall getaway weekend to do some biking, hiking or other outdoor activities. So Vancouver is not the problem with the Olympics…….it’s the Olympics that are the problem.

National Pride

Really? We’re supposed to be worried about whether our eskimos are better than those of Germany or Switzerland or China. Why does it matter? For a country like Finland, getting a couple medals might be the highlight of the decade for the country. Or perhaps if someone from Greece wins a medal people will forget for a second that the country is on the verge of complete financial ruin and is more financially strapped than Heidi Montag (she’s considering another Playboy shoot to pay for all of her plastic surgery). The overall medal count doesn’t matter because there are so many random sports where many of the countries don’t even compete. How is it fair to compare overall medals when not every country is in every event? It’s that old economic argument of whether you’re better off focusing only on the events you are strong in and bartering for the skills where you are not as strong, or try to be middle of the road in all skills.

A Star Every 4 Years

The reason the major sports in the US have such a tremendous following is that fans can make a connection with the stars of their sports, even if they don’t play for their home team. Their faces are all over the newspapers, internet and television over and over each season. With the Olympics, by the time the fans make a connection with one of the Olympic stars, the games are over and we won’t see them for another 4 years. Remember that Apollo Ohno guy? Is he still around? Or Picabo Street? Or from the summer games, Misty May? Amanda Beard even posed for Playboy to try and extend her fame window. At the end of the day, it’s very difficult for an athlete to stay at the absolute pinacle of their talent for more than 5 to 6 years, meaning they are lucky if they get to participate in two Olympics. By the time they make themselves a star, they are gone and no one will remember them.

The Events

Not the least of the issues are the events of the Olympics themselves. There are so many events and many of them are not viewer friendly. There are 15 sports with 86 individual events at the 2010 Olympics. That includes ice dancing, the biathlon (skiing and shooting), cross-country skiing and curling. While curling has grown in popularity because it is a sport you can do drunk, it’s hard to believe that someone can focus their efforts to become an Olympic curler. Again, when you’r e looking at the total medal counts during the Olympics, remember that the totals include some of those medals were given out for the luge, the skelton and again, ice dancing.

And if the US ever feels like it can’t compete with the rest of the world in the current events out there, we can continue to strong-arm the committee into moving X-games that the US invented not long ago into the Olympics, like snowboarding. Obviously the Chinese or the Norwegians cannot compete with Carrot Top flying off jumps on a skateboard without wheels.

Tuesday Ramblings - Enough Revis Already!

Before getting to Darelle Revis, a Public Service Announcement: Don’t get Jose Offerman mad. Seriously, what is wrong with this guy? A few years back he charged the mound and tried to swing a bat at the pitcher. Then last week he was arguing a call and he took a swing at the umpire. Although after watching the video, I stopped being amazed by him taking a swing and was more amazed that I think he missed. He was nose-to-nose with the umpire, threw a haymaker and somehow missed. Yet the ump went down anyway. Just a very strange and sureal scene.

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The worst part about the Jets still being alive in the playoffs? The insufferable New York media needing to overhype and overreact to everything. The latest seems to have been picked up by the national media as well – Darrelle Revis. If I didn’t know better, I would think that the guy could walk across the Hudson when he comes from the Jets practice facility into Manhattan. If the stories about him are true, we should probably send him to Haiti and we’ll have all the devastation and death taken care and he’ll still be back in time for the AFC Championship.

Listen, the guy is a great cover corner. But let’s not get carried away. His interception against San Diego was luck – the ball fell into his lap after bouncing off of Vincent Jackson’s leg. And Vincent Jackson still had over 100 yards. Revis is a good shut down corner, but he is not yet to the level of Deion Sanders. And he does not have the overall disruptive ability of Charles Woodson – which is why it was a slam dunk that Woodson deserved the Defensive Player of the Year Award. Yet, because Revis plays in the biggest market, has the loudest coach, and has a voice in the weenie from Mike & Mike In the Morning, the casual fan thinks Revis was robbed.

Revis is one-dimensional in that all he does is cover. Yes, that is the primary job of a cornerback. But that is like focusing purely on the chest of Christina Hendricks – and missing the fact that she is as pale as a ghost and not really that cute overall. Yes, her most endearing quality is enough to cause you to focus on it – just like Revis’s cover ability. Yet, Revis does not tackle, only 47 solo tackles and 7 assists, and had 6 interceptions, taking one back for a touchdown. Woodson had 63 unassisted tackles and 18 assists, 4 forced fumbles, 9 interceptions and took 3 back to the house. Deion Sanders returned punts and played offense in addition to being a shut down corner.

Yes, Revis is a solid cornerback, and he’s young, so he will likely get better. But let’s hold on with the comparing him to Lawrence Taylor as the best defensive player in NY (how quickly you forget Strahan setting the single season sack record), or Deion Sanders as the greatest corner of all time. And getting an endorsement from Peter King is not exactly doing anything to help Revis’s case. I mean, well, I’ll just let Steve Czaban make my point for me right here. King is basically faker than the new Heidi Montag after her 400th plastic surgery procedure. What is wrong with that girl? I mean, honestly – she looks like a doll right now and she doesn’t look like a human. It’s just a shame she has such low self esteem and is now addicted to plastic surgery? Anyway, totally got sidetracked………

Tuesday Ramblings - World Series - Philadelphia, NJ

Interesting take here from Gary D Howard on how to handle Brett Favre’s return to Lambeau this Sunday. I think I agree with him. As much of a d-bag as Favre was as a person on his way out of town, he was the single legend that returned respectability to the team, the franchise, the city and the state for football. He’s the reason Reggie White came to town. So I think he deserves the pre-game cheer when he runs out on to the field. But that’s where it ends, and once the ball is kicked, I’m cheering with all my might for him to be the overly-excited turnover machine he has been in the past.

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So Mark McGwire is going to be a hitting coach? Isn’t that kind of like asking a girl with a boob job to explain a push-up bra? I think this is another case of the arrogance of Tony LaRussa taking over. He is trying to get people to see McGwire as a baseball guy and eventually get him into the Hall of Fame, instead of only remembering his pathetic performance in front of Congress about using steroids – “I’m not here to talk about the past.” The guy is a career .263 hitter, and only hit over .300 twice in full seasons during his 16 year career. And that guy is going to teach guys how to hit? What is he going to teach Albert Pujols? Ridiculous.

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Could ESPN have a more biased team of analysts for the baseball season? Jayson Stark, Peter Pascarelli, Eric Karabell, and John Kruk are such homers for the Phillies, they can’t actually make sane assessments of the matchup between Philly and the Yankees. Stark just hesitated comparing Jorge Posada and Carlos Ruiz. Don’t get me wrong, Ruiz has a knack for coming up with huge hits and might be the Darrell Porter of the past few season, but he is not on the same level as Posada. And I think Posada is a whiny diva biyatch. Kruk claimed that the Phillies line-up was more potent than the Yankees. Really? Better than the Yankees lineup that had 7 guys with more than 20 HRs, all 9 starters with double digits in HRs, the second-highest batting average in baseball, 244 HRs as a team (more than the NL leading 224 the Phils hit), and the highest OBP in the league. It’s not even close, and Kruk showed he must have had his brains in his mullet during the 90’s and when he cut it off to do television analysis, he lost his mind.

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How are you feeling if you’re a Cleveland Indians fan right now? Watching your two former aces facing off in game 1 – CC Sabbathia vs. Cliff Lee. Ouch. Doesn’t seem like that long ago the Indians had a team that looked ready to compete for some time with Grady Sizemore, Jhonny Peralta, Victor Martinez, CC & Lee. Maybe they’re the new Montreal Expos – Pedro Martinez, Delino DeShields, Marquis Grissom, Larry Walker, Moises Alou, Cliff Floyd, Sean Berry, Mel Rojas, Dennis Martinez, Ken Hill, and John Wetteland

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Taking the Yankees in 6 games. Too much Yankee offense, and despite the fact that the Phillies bullpen was good in the NLCS, they are not good. The Phillies are relying on Pedro to keep his magic going and Cole Hammels to not be as awful as he has been during the regular and post season. That’s too many holes to allow a team like the Yankees to exploit. The Phillies were the best team in the NL all season, and deserve to be in the World Series, but they don’t have the talent to keep up.

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So the teams will have a something like 17 off-days during the post-season, after only having 20 off-days during the entire 6-month regular season. That’s a dumb schedule.

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Philly is my most hated city in the entire US. The city is dirty, ugly and not good to visit or spend any time in. And the people are all chubby, greasy, angry, fair-weather fans, and all have a chip on their shoulder. I understand that it’s not fun being the biggest city in New Jersey – I’d be angry too if that was my claim to fame. Oh, wait, their claim to fame is a fake movie about a 5’5” boxer named Rocky. So their baseball success has just made their fans even more insufferable. I hope they get swept just to shut up their fans. As a good friend says, “Philly is a good place to take a dump on your way to a real city.”

EDITOR’S NOTE: I know Philly is not actually in Jersey, but it might as well be – it’s surrounded by Jersey, the people are the same as the worst in Jersey and it smells like the worst of Jersey.

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I think the NBA season starts tonight. I think I’ll put together a season preview piece as soon as the players start to play hard and make an effort. So look for that piece to come out around New Year’s. The biggest stories for the season are what LeBron James and Dwayne Wade are going to do NEXT year, and all the teams that are tanking it to make cap room to try and sign one of those guys.

Oh, and Blake Griffin gets a hairline fracture in his knee 2 days before he’s supposed to make his regular season debut. And he looked extremely impressive and had the potential to keep the Clippers in the playoff hunt. Typical Clippers luck.

And I’m pretty sure that Kevin Durant is the new Dominique Wilkins. A dynamic player that everyone talks about as being under the radar, but he’s under the radar because he doesn’t have the ability to raise the level of play for those around him. Someone has to take shots and score on that pathetic team. Maybe a combination of Wilkins and Shareef Abdur-Rahim.