Overractions!

Chill out people. Seriously. Everyone and everything today is not the best or the worst. And things that happen in one game do not outweight an entire career. It reminds me of this scene from Austin Powers:


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Peyton Manning’s legacy has not been permanently altered because of the Super Bowl. Yes, it does halt the “greatest of all-time” talk, but he’s still among the best to ever play the game. Dan Shaughnessy (the d-bag writer for the Boston Globe with a face for newspaper) decided before the Super Bowl that Manning was better than Tom Brady. Then after the game he completely flopped to the other side. Way to stick to your guns Dan. The only thing that changes after the loss? He’ll never have the perfect Super Bowl record that Joe Montana and Terry Bradshaw have. He’s still on pace to set every passing record (other than interceptions) that Favre currently holds. He still has more MVP awards than anyone in the history of the game. He has more titles than Marino, Tarkenton and Jim Kelly combined, and the same amount as Favre. And he’s now set himself up to potentially have a great “Eff You” season of redemption next year.

So while the 2004 Peyton showed up for one big game, let’s relax on the “Peyton can’t win the big game” talk. Let’s keep in mind the fact that he inspired two of the riskiest and “on paper dumbest” decisions by opponents during this season with the sole goal of those decisions to keep the ball out of his hands. 3-time Super Bowl Champion Bill Belichick went for that fateful 4th down to play keep away from Manning. And in the biggest game of his life, Sean Payton tried an onside kick (the first ever not during the fourth quarter of a Super Bowl) with the same goal – to keep Manning off the field. Just because Marissa Miller did not make the cover of the swimsuit issue does not mean she’s not bringing the heat.

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Today another nasty snow storm has hit the east coast (and one also hit the midwest yesterday). If you just relied on the news coverage around here for the past 48 hours, you would have thought the world was going to end. The news casters were crying about how epic this storm was going to be and how everything was going to be a disaster. Listen, it’s the second big storm to hit Manhattan this year, and the second storm to hit the DC area in two weeks. It’s February – the heart of winter. Why are we surprised by snow storms? Why does the news act like the city has no idea how to handle the snow? This isn’t California or Texas. It’s the Northeast, the same place where they coined the term “N’oreaster” to describe the storms that come up the coast. So settle down and go grab a shovel. I’m going to go look for jobs in San Diego….or bartending in the Virgin Islands.

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The Milwaukee Brewers are going to build a statue of Proud to Be Yer Bud Selig to put next to Robin Yount and Hank Aaron outside of Miller Park. I have an idea for the pose they should use!! (see photo) I’m not sure there is a more polarizing figure in baseball. On the positive side of the ledger, he brought the Brewers to Milwaukee, kept them there, and brought in the wild card and interleague play. On the negative side, he forced out Faye Vincent, keeps Pete Rose out of the Hall of Fame, and while other sports were implementing salary caps and revenue sharing he allowed teams to spend 6-7 times more than other teams ensuring parity will never be a factor in baseball. And don’t forget the whole charade where he supposedly passed power of the Brewers over to his daughter while he was the “acting” commissioner. And the tremendously poor results by the team during his tenure. Once he finally sold the team to someone with deeper pockets, the team found some success and has a solid young base to compete in the future.

Are we overreacting to build the guy a statue? Especially before we build one for Paul Molitor? Molitor and Yount were the soul of the franchise for almost 15 years before Sal Bando (a Selig guy) ran him out of town to Toronto where he won his title and his World Series MVP. Molitor is in the baseball Hall of Fame as a Brewer and he doesn’t have a statue? Selig might be the Kristin Cavallari of baseball – some people love her, some people hate her, but very few people are on the fence. And I’m guessing Orange County has no intentions of building a statue of Kristin. And the latest rumor has Kristin dating Mark Sanchez now and if he had been able to beat the Colts, there’s a pretty good chance Jersey would have built a statue of the former SC quarterback.

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And finally, one story where it might be right to overreact: the NJ Nets. They are 4-47. Four wins in 51 games. You would think with playing a team on a back-to-back night, or at the end of a roadtrip, or a team that was out to late at the Hustler Club in Manhattan the night before the Nets would be able to do better than winning less than once every ten games. I was part of a high school team that went 2-19, so I feel their pain. And like the Nets, while there was a talent gap between us and every other team, a big part of the problem was the coaching staff (proven by the fact that we had a new coach the following year and went 12-9). The Nets coaching staff has been a disaster, as they fired Lawrence Frank early in the year and made Kiki Vandeweghe the coach, despite him never having a coaching gig prior to the Nets. To bridge the gap, they brought in veteran coach Del Harris to mentor Kiki on the job. That went so well that Harris quit about a month and a half into the gig.

The NBA record for futility was 9 wins by the Philadelphia 76ers in 1972-73. That team actually started 4-47 as well, at which point they fired their coach, Roy Rubin, and replaced him with Kevin Loughery. I guess it was an improvement as Loughery went 5-26. Those five wins came in a 7 game stretch, before losing their final 11 games of the season. That’s a painful record that the Nets are chasing. Get fired up Brooklyn – these are your Nets in 2012!!!

Super Bowl Weekend Hangover - Love/Hate

LOVE

- Sean Payton, Drew Brees and Gregg Williams deserve every bit of praise they get after this game. The Saints won the game by staying aggressive, playing with nothing to lose and taking it to the Colts over and over again. They played like the team that wanted it more and for that they deserve credit.

Payton almost made himself the goat with a poor decision to go for it on 4th down trailing 10-3 late in the first half. Thankfully for him the Colts went ultraconservative (more on that below) and gave the Saints a chance to put points on the board and get momentum before the half. Yet Payton redeemed himself with an amazing onside kick call. The thing I liked about it was that Payton is known as an aggressive players coach and he stayed true to his colors on the biggest stage he has ever coached on.

Brees and the offense got off to a slow start but his stats by the end of the game were incredibly impressive, going 32-39 including 29 of his last 32. He was completely in command during the game, moving around in the pocket to get extra time and finding the right receivers at the right time. If you want a good article about Brees and how he has always been an ultracompetitive, great athlete despite not having the ultimate size to be a pro athlete, check out this article from Saturday’s NY Times.

Gregg Williams was masterful against Manning and the Colts offense. That ended an impressive run by the Saints by beating 5 Super Bowl winning quarterbacks during one season, culminating in a string of Kurt Warner, Brett Favre and Peyton Manning. While normally this would vault Williams into contention for some head coaching positions, his past record coaching Buffalo (17-31) means he is probably best suited to just focus on being a defensive coordinator.

- Commercials :

While the commercials overall seem to get weaker every year, there were a few highlights. I always enjoy the E-Trade commercials with the baby. Loved the jealous girlfriend asking if “that milk-aholic Lindsey was over” – awesome. The Google commercial was the most intelligent commercial where they basically slammed an entire romantic comedy movie into a 30 second commercial all using Google searches. So much so that the girls made us go for an immediate replay. Also really loved the Jim Nantz commercial, particularly when he dropped the “How about No?” line on the guy. Although I don’t remember what the commercial was for – Dove for Men maybe?

Yet the highlight of the commercials for me was the dialogue among the group I was watching the game with during a local commercial in the second half for the NY lottery. The commercial shows an adult jumping into a huge pile of the play balls like at Chuck E. Cheese, which led to most everyone reacting with disgust because of the perception that kids like to pee in the balls. When one of the girls asked why, we guessed that it was because the kids were half buried, no one’s really looking and they’re little kids. To which she responded with perfect timing “Well it’s not like I pee under my desk because no one’s looking!” Great point. This may or may not have been the brandy talking, as we had easily polished off the bottle making brandy old fashioneds.

- The coverage from CBS – I didn’t see any shots of Kim Kardashian (did I miss it?) and minimal shots of the Manning family. They kept it a very clean telecast with a focus on a football game that was very cleanly played (minimal penalties) and dramatic, though not as high scoring as many (myself included) predicted. Can someone please get musicians under 50( or 70?) for the halftime show in the next few years. The music of The Who is fine, just not during halftime of the Super Bowl. I mean, did they keep their walkers and defibrilators next to the stage during the show? They had their “farewell” tour 30 years ago!! I understand they need to keep it safe since the Janet Jackson episode, but wouldn’t Kenny Chesney be safe? Wouldn’t Carrie Underwood be safe? (at least she got the National Anthem) Jay-Z? Beyonce? Alicia Keyes? There are quite a few options for musicians that don’t have to go backstage after the show and toast a nice glass of Metamucil.

- Was there any more of a sure thing than this year's Hall of Fame class including Jerry Rice and Emmitt Smith? Other than betting on Carrie Underwood looking impressive to sing the National Anthem, it was the safest bet you could possibly make this weekend (as evidenced by my incorrect pick on the game and the over). And while Emmitt had a horrendous run attempting to make it as an ESPN commentator, he gave a great interview talking about his father telling him that he had lived both of their dreams during his life. That was pretty cool.

On a somewhat related topic that probably belongs under the "hate" category, did anyone have a worse week/weekend than the NFL Network? Michael Irvin gets accused of sexual assault in a civil suit. Warren Sapp gets arrested for domestic abuse on his girlfriend. Both are NFL Network contributors. Ouch.

HATE

- Didn’t like the Snickers/Betty White commercial. I thought it was way overrated and not that funny. Yes, it was somewhat comical that Betty White got tackled in the mud. But then taking a bite of a Snickers bar turned the guy back into a wimpy looking toolbox. So let me make sure I have the commercial right – if you don’t eat Snickers, you are Betty White. If you do eat Snickers, you’re a nerdy looking wimp? I don’t really like my options, so I’m going to pass on the Snickers and maybe build a house out of Bud Light. Probably not the message the people at Snickers were looking for.

And last add on commercials – do you really think Brett Favre is driving a Hyundai? Once again proving it’s about the money for him, he does an add with Hyundai when I can’t see him behind the wheel of anything that’s not an Escalade, pick up truck or SUV. And didn’t Sears already exploit the whole indecisiveness in a commercial?

- Are the Colts the Atlanta Braves of the NFL? The Braves won countless consecutive division titles and multiple World Series appearances during the 90’s. They had the best pitching staff in baseball with John Smoltz, Tom Glavine, Greg Maddux and others including Steve Avery. Yet they only have one World Championship, which came in 1995. The Colts have won the most games of any team in the NFL during the decade and have won their division almost every year. They also have the most prolific passer in the game in Peyton Manning. And after all of that, they only have one title and Peyton Manning is 9-9 in the playoffs. I’m too lazy to look up the actual numbers, but I would guess more than half of those games have been at home or as favorites because of their strong regular seasons.

- Enough with the whole “winning a Super Bowl saves the city” story. Honestly, winning a Super Bowl does not rebuild the homes in the Lower Ninth Ward. I get that they love their Saints and this gives them a sense of pride. Yet when the party ends in a week or two, they still have to go back to the neighborhood where half the houses are still boarded up. I guess at least they’ll be standing in the wreckage with a smile on their face?

- How did 2004 Peyton Manning somehow take over Peyton 2009’s body and play the Super Bowl? Calling 3 running plays near the end of the half, locking in good field position for the Saints and allowing them to get a FG to make up for the momentum they lost when failing on 4th down the previous possession? He suddenly went from the robotic guy with the cold, calculating stare knowing he was sizing up and dissecting the other team to the unsure, indecisive guy that couldn’t beat the Patriots.

- I don’t know if Reggie Wayne was more hurt than anyone let on, but he did not look right. And he flat out dropped the final pass, which would have brought the Colts within a touchdown and given them a chance for an onside kick.

Degenerate Friday - Super Bowl

Before getting to the game and the gambling, a quick story…….a long while back we covered a few “rules” for the gym like don’t wear sweatpants, use a towel, wear sandals in the shower, etc. One thing we didn’t mention, which I never thought had to be mentioned. Yesterday after I work out, I head into the locker room and as I get close to the lockers, there is a Mexican guy sitting on one of the benches when I hear that unmistakeable sound of a nail clippers!! The guy is clipping his finger nails in the middle of the locker room, with no towel to catch the loose nails or anything!! Talk about disgusting. So of course, I proceed to give him the dirtiest of looks, and shake my head in disgust while muttering “unbelievable” under my breath. I then proceed to spin my lock to get in my locker...

Unfortunately for me, the story doesn’t quite end there. I have a blue lock for the gym – no reason other than that’s what they had at Duane Reade when I bought it years ago. Never gave it a second thought, but over the years I realized it’s kind of nice because you never have to worry about which locker you choose because the blue stands out from the standard black lock. So I go to that blue lock and put in my combination and the lock doesn’t open. I try it again, and nothing. Strange. Keep in mind I had just made a fairly public display of disgust at the nail clipping d-bag. After a fourth failed attempt, I’m starting to feel like I’m the subject of a prank. I look up and realize…..I’m at the wrong locker. My lock (which is slightly beat up) is actually about 5 lockers to the left. Someone else has the exact same blue lock. After making a mini scene about this gross dude, I’m now meekly sliding over to the correct locker assuming that he is getting a little chuckle out of my stupidity.

Oh, and isn’t it typical Los Angeles Clippers style that Mike Dunleavy steps down as coach and the interim coach is a guy named Kim? I mean, it’s worse than a boy named Sue because at least Sue can use the Johnny Cash song. Kim Hughes is the interim coach of the Clippers now. Random fact: Kim played for the University of Wisconsin from 1970 to 1974.

Time to break down the big game on Sunday and answer the question of what is the best bet of the weekend. In most columns you’ll see matchups broken down with the Colts offense against the Saints offense and then a slight advantage to one team or the other. That’s a waste of time because the Colts offense is not competing with the Saints offense. Let’s break it down correctly…………using Wedding Crashers quotes.

When the Colts have the ball….

Jeremy Grey: Tattoo on the lower back? Might as well be a bullseye.

Peyton Manning is the Wedding Crasher looking to find the tattoo on the lower back of the Saints defense. The Saints needed to blitz to get half of their sacks during the season (17 of their 35 sacks came on blitzes) which means they cannot get enough pressure from just their front four. If you blitz Peyton, he’s smart enough to adjust and has a connection with his receivers allowing him to quickly dump the ball off safely or hit the big play where there isn’t enough coverage. I was going to use the quote with Jeremy Gray (Vince Vaughn) calling out for a “hot route” but the difference is the Colts offense knows exactly what hot route Peyton calls. Darren Sharper is a ballhawk, but can be beaten (as he has been repeatedly during his career) because he overruns plays and bites on fakes trying to make a big play. That will leave the secondary exposed and vulnerable to the big play. In the AFC Championship I thought Pierre Garcon would be the key receiver threat (yeah, pat myself on the back for that one) and in this game I think it’s going to be Dallas Clark. The Saints linebackers, Jonathan Vilma, Scott Fujita and Scott Shanle are not going to be able to stay with Clark. ADVANTAGE: Colts

When the Saints have the ball…

John Beckwith: Claire's mom just made me grab her hooters.

Jeremy Grey: Well snap out of it! What, a hot older women made you feel her cans? Stop crying like a little girl.

John Beckwith: I wasn't crying like a little girl.

Jeremy Grey: Why don't you try getting jacked off under the table in front of the whole damn family and have some real problems, jackass. Hey, what were they like anyway? They looked pretty good, are they real? Are they built for speed or comfort? What'd you do with them? Motorboat? You play the motorboat? You motorboatin son of a bitch! You old sailor you! Where is she? She still in the house?

The Saints offense is built for speed and comfort. When Drew Brees is on his game, he is among the top quarterbacks in the league and can light up a scoreboard like Sack Lodge lit up Jeremy during the family football game. Yet Brees did not appear to be extremely accurate during the NFC Championship game, which is concerning given that the Super Bowl will be played on grass where his receivers will be half a step slower. In addition to the mismatch of Brees against a young Colts secondary that relies upon zones more than tight coverage, the Saints have the ability to pound the ball on the ground. Mike Bell and Pierre Thomas should be able to grind out some tough yards, which could open up the deep ball for Colston or open up space for Reggie Bush. Bush has the potential to make an impact with his running, receiving or kick returns, and will be the determining factor for the Saints offense. ADVANTAGE: Saints

Colts Coach Caldwell vs. Saints Coach Sean Payton

Bratty Kid: I just want a bicycle!

Jeremy Grey: Why... why are you yelling at me?

Bratty Kid: Make me a bicycle, clown!

Jeremy Grey: All right, I'm going to make you a bicycle. But I don't want to make you a bicycle.

Bratty Kid: Shut your mouth, funny guy, and make it.

Jeremy Grey: Take that, you hyena, don't say thank you.

No one really knows how good of a coach Jim Caldwell is because everyone assumes Peyton is completely running the team. However, he has managed the team well to get past his decision to rest his starters and forgo a shot at a perfect season. Every player wanted to go for it, yet he has not allowed that to be a distraction from the ultimate goal of a championship. So while it may appear that Peyton tells Caldwell to make him a balloon bicycle, the team does seem to respect him. Sean Payton has spent the week being the “other” Payton involved in the Super Bowl, which is a shame because he is truly one of the best and brightest young coaches in the league. He is completely in sync with Drew Brees and has endeared himself to the New Orleans fanbase like no coach other than Rex Ryan in New York. Saints defensive coordinator Gregg Williams is a blitzing machine but will have his hands full trying to mix it up against Manning. And unfortunately, his big mouth may have cost the team because now the officials will be ultrasensitive to any “remember me” shots his team puts on the Colts QB, and that penalty could potentially extend a drive or lead to points. I’m favoring Payton over Caldwell, but Williams mouth closes the gap to closer than it should be. ADVANTAGE: Saints

Colts Fans vs. Saints Fans

Jeremy Grey: I'm sure you'd love to be free, maybe go out and meet some Latin guy that can dance, grind up on you, make you feel dangerous but also safe. And how about you? Don't you want to get inside Chastity without having to wonder if everyone's gonna find out?

John Beckwith: God, wouldn't that be sweet?

Jeremy Grey: Wouldn't that be nice? And have some Latin guy sweating all over you, talking to you in languages you don't understand, needing you, wanting you, taking you?

John Beckwith: All we're trying to say is, put your swords away for a second. Let's finish this and let's move on.

Jeremy Grey: Get out there and get some strange ass.

Let’s see, the wild, hard-partying Mardi Gras crowd from New Orleans against the Midwestern wholesomeness of the Colts. And since the Colts were just in Miami for the Super Bowl in 2006, it’s likely that not as many fans make the trek back down to Miami. I’m expecting there to be doublt the number of Saints fans relative to the Colts fans. And let’s not kid ourselves the parties that are present in Miami are much more in line with those in New Orleans than they are to those in Indianapolis. The Saints fans are the long-suffering group that invented the paper bags on their heads to watch the Aints lose over and over again. It is easy to root for the Saints because of that long and sad history. The Colts have been the best team during the decade (in number of wins) and won a Super Bowl just a few years back, so they will not be the crowd favorites. Americans love an underdog story, and the Saints are the underdog story. What a shame for the Saints that they finally make the Super Bowl and their favorite historical quarterback, Archie and their hometown kid who made it good, Eli, have to root against them because of Peyton Manning. The Colts at least gained Kendra Willkinson when they signed Hank Baskett to their bench, so they have that going for them, which is nice. ADVANTAGE: Saints

The Pick….

John Beckwith: I'd like to be pimps from Oakland or cowboys from Arizona but it's not Halloween. Grow up Peter Pan, Count Chocula.

COLTS (-5) over Saints
I want to root for the Saints, I really do. I also want to be a pimp from Oakland or a cowboy from Arizona. It's just not reality. I like Drew Brees and the way he plays the game. I like Sean Payton and his no nonsense approach similar to the always effective Bill Parcells. The Saints have weapons on offense with Colston, Henderson and Meachem complimenting Reggie Bush. Yet at the end of the day, the experience of the Colts will be the defining factor as much as Peyton Manning. The Saints will be overwhelmed when they step on the field and it will take a couple series for them to find their comfort zone. Unfortunately for them, Manning could have the Colts up 10-0 before the Saints find that groove. I like the Colts to win 37-27.

Other Bets:

Over 57 total points
There will be points, and without Freeney, the Saints will put at least 28 on the board, which makes the over achievable.

Jersey # of the first TD: Over 25.5
This is a bet on the Colts to score first. If the Saints score, it will likely be under (Brees – 9, Colston- 12, Meachem-17, Henderson-19, Bell-21, Thomas-23, Bush-25). Yet I expect the Colts to get on the board early (Addai-29, D. Brown-31, Wayne-80, Garcon-85, Clark-44) – and it won’t be Collie (#17) or Peyton (#18) on a keeper.


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Quick Hits

Quick Hits on some of the stories in sports…..and a reminder to come back tomorrow for a full breakdown of the Super Bowl matchup and it will be Degenerate Friday with my pick for the Super Bowl.

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The NCAA is meeting and considering expanding the NCAA tournament to 96 teams. Worst idea since overpaying the cast of Jersey Shore for a second season. Listen, we all enjoyed watching these people sink to new levels of self respect and live up to every stereotype of the Jersey Shore. But what are they going to do in the second season? Get drunk, get in fights, and hook up with some of the ugliest people to ever grace our television. That’s already been done during the first season, so my guess is it will get old quickly. And are we really connected to the cast of the first season? The Situation brought us a great nickname, Ronnie is a monster you don’t pick a fight with, and J-Woww encourages wearing as little clothes as possible and those little clothes better have holes or be ripped. Yet there are a ton of people on the Jersey Shore just like them. Wait, where was I? Oh yeah, college basketball……..

Expanding the tourney is an example of the people believing that because A was successful, let’s just do more of A. It doesn’t work that way. If the tournament is expanded, it will be completely watered-down and the opening round games will not have the compelling storylines and upsets that make the tournament what it is. It is among the most loved sporting events in the country – even your girlfriend who doesn’t follow sports fills out a bracket and watches the games. Do we really need the 9th or 10th place team in the Big East in the tournament? Or the 3rd place team in the MEAC? That additional round of games will be as successful as when they expanded the tournament to 65 from 64 a few years ago. NO ONE watches or cares about the “opening round” or “play-in” game. Expanding the tournament to 96 teams would create an entire round of play-in games that no one will watch.

And I’m not even going to get into the whole gambling aspect of expanding the tournament. The opening Thursday and Friday of the tournament in its current format are the greatest two gambling days in the world. Let’s not mess with it.

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Yesterday was national signing day for college football players. Did you miss it? If I’m a Florida fan, I’m supposed to be excited for what yesterday means 3 years from now? That is assuming that Urban Meyer doesn’t keel over from not taking care of his health, less than half the players avoid getting arrested, another third don’t get injured, and finally that they actually live up to their hype. That’s quite of bit of uncertainty to worry about.

On top of that, the whole ranking of recruits and recruiting classes are self-fulfilling circles. A player is highly rated because he is being recruited by top schools like Florida, Alabama or Notre Dame. Then those schools get highly rated recruiting classes because they get the highly rated players (who were highly rated because of where they were recruited).

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Phil Jackson and Kobe Bryant both reached impressive milestones this week. Kobe became the third-leading scorer all-time for the Lakers franchise and Phil now has the most wins as coach in franchise history. Both feats are impressive given that the Lakers franchise is the most storied and dominating franchise in basketball.

Kobe is the best player since Michael Jordan, and although he may never become the Lakers all-time leading scorer – Kareem played 400 years – he may be their best player. He is more clutch than anyone since Jordan and he has been intelligent enough to evolve his game from high-flying rim-crashing to a deadly accurate jump shooter. He has 4 titles, including last year on a team very much like those Jordan won with – surrounded by solid but not spectacular players. Speaking of Jordan’s teammates – this shirt is amazing (via The Big Lead).

Phil has had the benefit of coaching both Jordan and Kobe which obviously helps drive him to be the winningest coach for both the Bulls & the Lakers. Yet Phil has also been able to manage a diverse group of players, including Dennis Rodman, Ron Artest and Shaq. Yes, he has the players, but he has made sure the talent works together to be successful.

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Miller Lite is holding an auction where you can bid on Barry Sanders coming to your house for a Super Bowl Party on Sunday. Seems kind of strange. Yet that just made me look up some highlights from his career. This will be the most entertaining 4 minutes of your day today, guaranteed. I started noting my favorite runs as I was watching it, and stopped after the 5th time I scratched out my writing because I thought “wow, that one was his best run” only to have it topped by the next one.

Squirrel is Live From Miami & Overhyped Super Bowl Stories

Before we get to this week's rankings, I have to mention the impressive showing by the Wisconsin Badgers in dismantling Michigan State last night. The Badgers were hot from the field and shredded the Spartan defense all night. There's nothing more satisfying than watching Tom Izzo cry on the sidelines when his team is getting is arse handed to them in every aspect of the game. Izzo is a great coach (5 Final Fours in 11 years speaks for itself), but I have never seen someone cry or whine so much. He doesn't get angry or yell at officials, he just pouts and whines to them. It's really pathetic to watch. Tommy, face it, Bo owns you at the Kohl Center. It's just reality.

It’s ranking time and with the Super Bowl just a few short days away, let’s rank the stories that have been and will continue to be beaten into the ground before kickoff. Starting with the least annoying and ending with the stories that have already been killed and should be let go.

But first, we received word from none other than the Squirrel, who is on location in Miami with a first hand report. Squirrel has officially become the roving reporter for the site after his report from Alabama during the national championship game, and here are a couple of highlights from Miami. It sounds like he’s enjoying himself already.

Let your readers know that Miami is beautiful and that if they are considering making the trip for the Superbowl, it is highly recommended. We got here on media day, which was notoriously rained out.. but things have improved tremendously. Today, my wife and I laid out at the beach, then the pool, then went back to the beach. Its 70s and sunny. Superbowl week in Miami is way better than the National Championship week in Alabama. A few tips: Sunny Iles Drive is one of the shortest paths from the Superbowl to the beach. Sunny Iles drive = MLK blvd. (remember what Chris Rock said about MLK drive? If not, watch this – starting about the 30 second mark.) don't worry, things clear up and you make it to the beach where everything is good. Turn right at the ocean and Southbeach and the rich folks are down there.

95.7 is not the oldies channel, like it is in Milwaukee. If you only speak english, put this at pre-set #1. All Espanol all the time. Love it. We were jamming it in the red mustang convertible driving to the hotel; the locals were impressed. Finally, we saw the Goodyear blimp cruising over Miami beach today. Probably taking some film for footage to show during the game.. So if you see it, be prepared that, unfortunately for us, and those like us, the ratio of banana hammocks to thongs is 1.5 to 1. Maybe its a bad time of year. And to be clear, not many of the aforementioned people should be sporting such items.

Thank you field reporter, Squirrel!! Now on to the overhyped stories for the week:

5 – Tim Tebow’s anti-abortion ad.

This is not the forum to discuss pro-life or pro-choice. I don’t really care what stance you have, it’s your right to have that opinion one way or the other. Tim Tebow also has that right to have an opinion and considering his story (his mother was encouraged to abort her pregnancy due to medical complications and she chose to have the baby, which grew into Tim), how could you blame him for having that stance? The issue is whether the NFL/CBS can control whether to show it. If they open up the lid to this ad, then the next step will be an ad for the opposing view and then we’ll get ads for and against political candidates. It’s a slippery slope away from funny beer and internet commercials that people actually enjoy watching during the game.

4 – Kyle Eckel

I won’t rehash the details here, as Gregg Doyel does a much better job of it here. It’s just a strange story without any clear answers, but if Eckel does anything in the game, Jim Nantz and Phill Simms will beat the story into the ground. Speaking of Jim Nantz, did everyone see his guest appearance on How I Met Your Mother on Monday night? Fantastic. Definitely worth a replay. He came across as funny, and a regular guy, which is the opposite of how he came off during his divorce when his wife accused him of wanting to hang a 15 foot painting of himself in their living room.

3 – Colt’s Shun Perfection

If the Colts win the game, there will be an endless stream of people in the media making the following statement “The Colts won every game they gave full effort in, so they could have went 19-0.” Life doesn’t work like that, people. For all we know, if Peyton had stayed in the game against the Jets, Calvin Pace might have broken free and left a “remember me” shot (thanks Gregg Williams!) on Peyton that could have ended his season. Or maybe Reggie Wayne twists an ankle. Or….you get the point. It's the "Butterfly Effect" in that one little change in the past has huge ripple effects on the future. There is no telling what could or would have happened. The Colts believed resting their players was the best decision to help them win the Super Bowl. If they win on Sunday, that resting decision was the best decision they could have made. That’s all that matters.

2 – Dwight Freeeney’s Ankle

I’m not saying his ankle isn’t a huge deal in determining who will win the game. He is the best player on the fast Colts defense and his ankle will slow him significantly if he is able to play at all. I just don’t want to hear about it on Tuesday and Wednesday and Thursday and Friday and Saturday. It is not going to heal overnight. It’s just not. Anyone who has busted up an ankle like this is well aware of how little changes in 1 day. Yet we’re going to get doctors, witch doctors, psychics and that guy who sings “Pants on the Ground” to weigh in on whether Freeney will be able to play. Speaking of gruesome injuries, check out the picture of Brett Favre’s ankle after the NFC Championship. While I don’t like him as a person, you cannot argue with the dude’s toughness.

1 – Kim’s Boyfriend, Reggie Bush

We get it, Kim Kardashian is a star because she looks great in a dress or a bikini. Wait, has she ever done anything to be famous other than make a sex tape with Brandi’s little brother, Ray-Jay? Well, her step-father is Olympic gold medalist Bruce Jenner, does that make her famous? Nope, not really. Has she acted? Nope. Anyway, we’re going to get bombarded with stories about whether her and Reggie are going to get married, and plenty of shots of the entire Kardashian crew traveling to the game together. The real story is whether Reggie can have an impact on the game the way he did against the Cardinals. Because if he does, there is a chance the Saints will give him a nice fat contract extension. If he doesn’t, it’s going to raise questions on whether he is worth the investment and the Saints could cut him loose from their backfield which already contains solid backs like Pierre Thomas and Mike Bell.

Tuesday Ramblings - Awards Show!

The Oscar Nominations came out today which means people with even more free time than me will be trying to argue whether computer generated 3-D is more impressive than movies set in reality with people doing mostly realistic things. I haven’t seen Avatar – yes, I’m one of the 5 who haven’t – and I don’t have any desire to see it. The whole 3-D thing is not of interest to me, and I’m not a science fiction fan, with the exception of Star Wars, so I probably will never see it.

Anyway, so how do I link that to today’s post? How about handing out some awards for the NFL Playoffs thus far? Sure, why not? And since we’re holding our own awards show, I’ll make sure to invite Katy Perry to the show, just for entertainment for you. You’re welcome.

Best Performance – Male: Peyton Manning – QB Colts

This one is more of a slam dunk than Jerry Rice being elected to the Hall of Fame on Saturday. Manning went through two of the toughest defenses in the league in Baltimore and the Jets on his way to the Super Bowl. Even if the Ravens and Jets were the #5 and #6 seeds, they were the most physical teams in the playoffs, and Manning was masterful in dissecting them. The only thing left for him to do is to claim the Lombardi trophy on Sunday night. He’s marching his way up the list of all-time quarterbacks (as we discussed last week).

Best Supporting Performance – Female: Kim Kardashian

Whatever she did to motivate Reggie Bush before the playoffs started seemed to work. Whether the alleged threat of marriage to Kim was a motivator or not can be debated, but something got into him against the Cardinals and he looked like that guy with an extra gear that he was during his career at USC. Kim will be at the Super Bowl this weekend, and I’m sure that we’ll be treated to numerous shots of her up in a luxury box, wearing her Saints gear and rooting for her own ring to match Reggie’s Super Bowl winning ring.

Best Director: Rex Ryan – NY Jets

The outspoken, rotund coach of the Jets got his team to believe that they were the best team in the playoffs and advanced further than no one but him thought was possible. While he fell short of the ultimate goal of getting to the Super Bowl, he had a rookie quarterback, a rookie running back and a wide receiver who couldn’t catch the ball. He was basically the equivalent of that guy who made Napoleon Dynamite – a cast of nobody actors and actresses that somehow turned into one of the funniest movies of the decade.

Worst Best Performance: Adrian Peterson – RB Vikings

Another slam dunk that is almost as sure of a bet as whether there will be fireworks in Chicago between perpetually angry Mike Martz with his perpetually pouting quarterback, Jay Cutler. Peterson busted off over 100 yards and 3 TDs against the Saints, yet all anyone wanted to talk about was his penchant for fumbling. He is on the verge of losing his standing as the best running back in the league. If they gave out this award in movies, Megan Fox would win every year. There is no worse actress who still gets roles in bad movies.

Fastest Deterioration from a Franchise QB to a Mediocre Game Manager: Carson Palmer – QB Bengals

This was a guy that in his 2nd through 5th year in the league averaged 4,000 yards and over 28 touchdowns per season. Yet this year he barely threw for over 3,000 yards and in the playoffs against the Jets, he threw for 146 yards. What happened? I get the knee injury which cost him a full season of trying to get back to full strength but he doesn’t even resemble the same strong-armed quarterback with a pocket presence that he was when he came into the league. This would be the Jennifer Lopez award for someone that gained attention with one aggressively cut dress, and continues to try and convince people she’s talented, when we all know the truth.

Best Performance Blowing Team’s Chances: San Diego Chargers

So, you’re getting ready to play the best defense in the league in the divisional playoff game on your home field. How would you stay focused? Get a little extra film session in to make sure you are ultra-familiar with the Jets extensive blitz packages? Spend some quality time with your family to relax and allow yourself to conserve energy? Or head over to the Pure Platinum club and get boozed up with strippers? Yeah, we know what the Chargers chose, and that couldn’t have helped prevent them from choking against the Jets.

Biggest Disappointment – Team: New England Patriots

Before this season, there were a couple of things that appeared carved in stone: You don’t beat Bill Belichick and Tom Brady in New England during the playoffs. You don’t bet against Bill Belichick and Tom Brady in the playoffs. You don’t question any decisions by Bill Belichick on the field. All of those came crashing down this year, from the failed 4th and 2 against the Colts, Brady looking awful in the playoffs and the Patriots bowing out after losing at Gillette Stadium. It will be interesting to see where they go from here. Basically, they’re Jennifer Anniston after Friends ended and she was in a couple of poor movies like Rumor Has It. Are the Patriots going to bounce back and like Jen, look better with age?

Most Expected Meltdown that Somehow Surprised Us But Should Not Have: Philadelphia Eagles

Let’s see, we have the worst clutch quarterback with a winning record and the worst clutch playoff coach in history going on the road against a divisional rival. And this same team had already lost in Oakland earlier in the year. Yet somehow we were convinced that the Eagles might actually have a chance against the Cowboys? Andy Reid and Donovan McNabb have made careers of collapsing in the playoffs and coming up short in big moments. Yet somehow the Eagles tempt us like John Mayer with all of the starlets in Hollywood (& now Nashville as it is rumored he’s seeing Taylor Swift). And it ends the same way, tears and disappointment.

Best Dramatic Performance: Cardinals beating Packers in Overtime

This was the best game of the playoffs, without question. There were a ton of blow outs in this year’s playoffs, but this one was not one of them, despite the Cardinals jumping out to a 21 point lead early. There were huge plays, controversial calls and non-calls, and tremendous performances from both quarterbacks. Obviously as a Packer fan, the result was crushing for me, yet taking the fan side of things and putting it aside, this game was beyond entertaining to watch.

Weekend Hangover - Love/Hate

LOVE

- College basketball put on quite a show this weekend. Without any football (and my wife away for the weekend), there was no reason to do anything except watch college basketball. And I took full advantage of it, watching 8 of the top 11 teams in the country on Saturday. And it was a heck of a performance by college basketball itself, with multiple buzzer beaters, overtimes and great players.

- Kansas will make it to the Final Four. Why? What do Sherman Douglas, Khalid El-Amin and Mateen Cleaves have in common? They have all won in the Final Four, and they are all short, fat point guards. Kansas is led by Sharon Collins, a short, fat point guard. And if you don’t believe that, then how about their overrated, slow, white center, Cole Aldrich? He’s a perfect match for Eric Montross, Greg Ostertag or Tyler Hansborough – all overrated, slow white centers with Final Four appearances.

- Jimmy Dykes is the best college basketball color analyst in the country, and it’s not even close. Dykes typically covers the SEC for ESPN games along with Brad Nessler, and he has the ability to break the game down, pointing out the real nuances of the game (rebounding, defense, the extra pass and free throw shooting) that make the difference between winning and losing. Dykes also is not afraid to criticize a player or coach for a bad decision, which I think shows confidence in his knowledge of the game. Dykes played under Eddie Sutton at Arkansas before spending years as an assistant college coach and a pro scout, so his knowledge of the game is solid. Yet, he’s also highly entertaining, with the ability to let a big moment speak for itself with an understated excitement in his voice. He is the exact opposite of ESPN’s flagship blowhard, Dick Vitale. While I appreciate the enthusiasm Vitale brings, he clearly has lost the motivation to prepare for games, instead focusing on promoting his friends who donate to charity and yelling for the purpose of yelling. It’s a shame ESPN continues to promote Dicky V, and Dykes goes underappreciated by most. Vitale is more washed up than Jennifer Lopez – who by the way, looked like she couldn’t breathe in her dress last night at the Grammys.

- Ohio State’s Evan Turner is the best player in the country. He missed some games earlier in the season with a back injury from falling after a dunk, but he is back, healthy and as dangerous as anyone in the country. He can shoot from the outside, get to the hoop off the bounce, play defense (4 steals in the first half against Minnesota on Sunday), and rebound. Of all the players I watched this weekend, he has the most talent and the most complete game. He fills up the stat sheet the way Carrie Underwood fills up a dress for an awards show – no one talent outweighing the full package.

- As long as we’re talking about Carrie Underwood, for those of you that watched the Grammy Awards, it was a really amazing Michael Jackson tribute. As impressive as it was, I had a couple of questions that need to be answered. What was up with the weird 3-D thing they tried to do? It was lame – I didn’t have 3-D glasses – so it was all blurry and I felt like I was drinking backstage with Kings of Leon. And they had an extremely impressive group singing with Celine Dion, Smokey Robinson, Usher, Carrie Underwood, and Jennifer Hudson. Yes, Jennifer Hudson. How did she make the cut? I have no idea. I mean, she can sing I guess, it just seemed like a bigger star would have been more appropriate.

HATE

- Kansas State will be an early flame out in the NCAA tournament……again. Why am I so sure? Everyone loves the emotions and weird faces of their coach, Frank Martin, yet that is the reason his team will not advance deep into the March tourney. The Wildcats have taken on the personality of their fiery coach, yet their emotions run too hot and it costs them on the court. In their overtime loss to Kansas this weekend, mental errors cost the team over and over again, from two lane violations during free throws to out of control shots and turnovers at crucial times. Their starting point guard – who happens to be the second cousin of Roberto Clemente – plays at a frenetic pace that is even too fast for himself, leading to terrible shot selection – like Saturday when he went 4-15 from the field.

- Remember when Billy Donovan was relevant? After taking one exceptional recruiting class to a couple of titles, Billy has sat back on his laurels and is now just an egotistical pudgy look-alike for Eddie Munster. His current Gator team is good enough to scare some teams if they get into the dance, but they won’t last long. And I’m not really sure Billy cares. He was content to trade interest from Kentucky into more money from Florida a few years ago, and appears to have lost some of his fire.

- I think Rick Barnes of Texas went to the Lane Kiffin school of coaching. Or maybe it is the other way around? Either way, both guys have a knack for recruiting an insane amount of talent to their programs, yet they are not good coaches. Texas has as much, if not more, athletic and talent than any basketball team in the country. Yet they have no idea how to play together, they lack focus (as evidenced by their 19-31 free throw performance in their OT loss to Baylor on Saturday), and they don’t play any defense. Damion James has all the tools (he put up 20 points and 19 boards against Baylor) but his teammates have no idea how to get him the ball with a chance to score, and the Longhorn offense wastes Dexter Pittman inside. It seems like Rick Barnes might be more useless once the ball gets tipped than the white(ish) guy in the Black Eyed Peas. I had to look up that his name is Taboo.

- So much for that Coach K and his teams that play such fierce and intelligent defense. The Dukies got shredded by Georgetown in D.C. with the president in attendance, and the Hoyas shot a blistering 72% from the field. I have no idea how Duke wins as many games as they do. I think they intimidate teams that aren’t mentally tough and teams that are surprised to be on the court with them, because they have the least athletic team in the country that doesn’t play in the Ivy League. They always flame out in the tourney once they get up against teams that know they are better than Duke, just like they got run off the floor by the disciplined Hoya team. Just like they lost earlier in the year to Bo Ryan’s disciplined Badger team.

- Bryant McKinnie getting kicked off the Pro Bowl team. What an assclown. I mean, at least have the dignity to fake an injury like the rest of your peers instead of going down to Miami and just partying and skipping practices.

For those of you new to the site, every Monday I recap the events of the weekend broken down into whether those events or thoughts are a “love” meaning I enjoyed them or it was good or whether they are a “hate” meaning it is poor behavior or annoying play. Thanks for stopping by, come back often, spread the word and become a follower on this site or a fan on Facebook.