NFL Power Rankings

I skipped last week’s rankings due to the holiday, but we’re back with them this week. Again, it’s New Year’s eve, so most people are getting ready to get drunk and hope some girl gets tipsy enough to kiss them at midnight. Therefore, the rankings will be fast and furious this week. And since most of us will be waking up with a raging headache and hangover on Friday, let’s hope Mike Leach isn’t around to ban us to a dark equipment shed.

Oh, and before the rankings, a really good article written by former major leaguer Doug Glanville on the whole culture of athletes and struggling to handle the money, power, fame and women that come with being a pro athlete.

So on to the rankings with no categories this week........because it's almost time to start drinking away 2009. Happy New Year everyone.

1. Chargers - Playing better than anyone else in the NFL. They have to scare the Colts right now.

2. Colts - Yes, they gave it up easier than Alyssa Milano to a pro baseball player, but the Colts remain dangerous as long as they have #18 under center.

3. Eagles - They are the hottest team other than San Diego…..but it is the regular season. Do they have the mental make-up to succeed in the playoffs? And can Andy Reid not mess it up?

4. Saints - So do they play their starters in a meaningless game to regain some of their mojo and risk exposing Drew Brees to Julius Peppers? Remember, Peppers is playing for a new contract now and ask Brett Favre if he appears to be motivated.

5. Cardinals - Arizona has a chance to steal a first round bye if the Eagles and Vikings lose this week and the Cardinals beat the Packers. Otherwise, they will host the Packers next week again. Can Beanie Wells be the difference maker in the playoffs?

6. Packers - Practically the only team in the NFC without a chance to get the #2 seed, the Packers are playing well and have a shot to make it through the conference entirely on the road. Would the Pack like another shot at Favre?

7. Patriots - I would say the “Randy Moss is dogging it” train has jumped the tracks at this point. The biggest concern in New England is why Laurence Maroney keeps fumbling on the goal line.

8. Vikings - Lost in the whole “Favre & Childress Peeing Contest” is the fact that Adrian Peterson has a serious fumbling problem. He runs hard, but also runs loose with the balls…….insert your own Tiger joke.

9. Bengals - They will know before they kick off on Sunday night whether they have a shot at the #3 seed or if they can rest their starters and play the Jets again the following week. They have been the biggest surprise in the league and have the running game to be a factor in the playoffs.

10. Cowboys - They ended up .500 in December this year, which is a huge improvement. However, if they don’t win a playoff game, will Wade Phillips be back next year? I’d guess he’s as out as Claye Aiken.

11. Ravens - They can play their way into the playoffs by beating the lowly Raiders. If they can’t beat Oakland, they don’t deserve to be anywhere near the playoffs.

12. Steelers - I think the past two weeks were the “hell” that Mike Tomlin wanted released at the beginning of December. Unfortunately, when they got smoked by Browns, it put them in a whole where they are now begging for a lot of help to make the playoffs.

13. Texans - The Texans seem as comfortable at 8-8 or 9-7 as Kelly Brook does in a bikini. If they beat the Pats, they finish over .500 but is that enough to save Gary Kubiak’s job?

14. Panthers - They are finally playing like everyone thought they would at the beginning of the season. Unfortunately, Jake Delhomme put them in a hole to start the year that they couldn’t get out of by the end of the year.

15. Jets - The most fortunate team in the league with gifts from the Colts and potentially from the Bengals to push New York into the playoffs. What’s the over/under for the number of INTs by Sanchez on the road in the playoffs? 4 or 5?

16. Titans - Chris Johnson has a great chance to hit 2,000 yards for the season and an outside chance to break Eric Dickerson’s single season record. It’s still not enough to get the MVP.

17. Falcons - They should be motivated this week to get to 9-7 which would be the first time in franchise history (since 1966) they would have back-to-back winning seasons. Doesn’t that sound amazing that Atlanta has NEVER had consecutive winning seasons?

18. Broncos - Are they going to fire Mike Shanahan again after this late season collapse? They were better than they were last year, but still have a ton of holes.

19. Dolphins - This team overachieved considering the lack of receiving playmakers and weak defense. At least they learned Ricky Williams still has plenty in the tank.

20. 49ers - It has to be the quarterback, right? They have a playmaker RB and a playmaker TE and now a playmaker WR in Crabtree. They have a great middle LB in Patrick Willis. They have turds playing QB.

21. Giants - The defense let them down this year, which means there is no chance Bill Sheridan comes back for a second year as d-coordinator.

22. Jaguars - Maybe they could hire Mike Leach to run their offense and bring in Tim Tebow to play QB? Just a crazy thought……..but it sounds pretty good, right?

23. Bears - Cutler finally breaks the primetime jinx against the Vikings. I texted my brother after the Vikings scored to make it 23-7 and suggested it was time for the Cutler back-breaker INT. He responded that it would likely be from inside their own 35. Within one minute, Cutler rolled out and from his own 33, threw an INT that allowed the Vikings to really get the offense going and eventually forced overtime.

24. Browns - Could Big Show Holmgren fire Mangini if they end the season on a 4 game winning streak? Is the Mangini program finally working or are the players just playing harder to audition for next season?

25. Bills - Will the Colts subject Manning, Wayne & Company to the cold in Buffalo this week? Will the Bills be able to beat the Colts second string? Does anyone care? I don’t.

26. Redskins - At long last, the circus that has been the Redskins season is finally almost over.

27. Raiders - Tom Cable completely threw JaMarcus Russell under the bus when he admitted that better quarterback play earlier in the year could have saved their season. That’s about as brutal as the allegations that Lindsay Lohan’s dad kicked his ex-girlfriend in the baby-maker. Seriously, dude? What the…….?

28. Buccaneers - Nice job by Raheem Morris to cost themselves a better draft pick in the past two weeks.

29. Seahawks - They shouldn’t even bother showing up this week because they didn’t last week in Green Bay. Just let the University of Washington play the Seahawks game because they have a legit NFL QB in Jake Locker.

30. Chiefs - Coach Todd Haley said he didn’t flip off the fans, right? Pretty sure the fans deserve to flip him off for enduring this season in Kansas City.

31. Lions - The bright side is that it won’t take much to start the decade better than they ended this last one.

32. Rams - Sadly, they haven’t locked up the top pick in the draft yet to guarantee them Ndamukong Suh.

Quick Hits

It’s pretty obvious that the players at “The U” believe you get to the NFL by rushing the QB and tackling running backs - not by covering TEs. They didn’t cover any of the Wisconsin TEs all game, and got burned for it as Wisconsin beat Miami in the Champs Sports Bowl last night. The game was proof that at Miami, swagger is valued, and intelligence is not - the Hurricanes continually fell prey to every play action fake and misdirection running play. I’m pretty sure most of the Miami team would struggle to spell “The U” if you gave them 3 guessses. And Miami’s quarterback Jacorey Harris? Looks like a carbon copy of Terrell Pryor (Ohio State), Juice Williams (Illinois), Andre Woodson (Kentucky), Brad Banks (Iowa) or Kordell Stewart (Colorado). All great athletes that can’t play quarterback. A nice win for a young Wisconsin team to get to 10 wins and likely start next season in the top 15.
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Facts we know in the Texas Tech - Mike Leach - Adam Jones - debacle: (1) Jones was disciplined for lack of effort in practice, (2) Jones got a concussion, (3) He was put in an equipment shed for 3 hours, (4) his dad, ESPN’s Craig James, complained to the Texas Tech administration, and (5) Mike Leach is due a $800,000 bonus if he’s still the coach on Thursday, 12/31.

From there, the versions of the story depend upon who is telling the story and it has more changes than the Charlie Sheen-Brooke Mueller altercation. Supposedly Coach Leach was “punishing” James by forcing him to sit in the dark shed for 3 hours. Leach & the Texas Tech trainer said that since James needed to stay out of bright lights due to the concussion, it was good for him to stay in the shed. At the end of the day, it seems pretty obvious that James was a slacker, his dad was overreacting, and Leach should have had the kid in the training room, not isolated in some equipment shed. Everyone is in the wrong on this one.

Leach has always been entertaining and quirky (remember his “fat little girlfriends” quote?), but probably went over the line with this one. But memo to the James family - couldn’t you come up with a better way to handle this? Did you really need your daddy to whine to the administration? Couldn’t you and your dad have a meeting with Leach and the coaching staff away from the spotlight to figure it out? And if you’re not happy, then transfer. All of these seem like better options than making it the lead story on ESPN, separating James from his teammates (many of whom probably like playing for Leach), and putting a stain on his potential future pro value (if he had any to begin with). Just seems like a situation where neither side really thought through their actions very well.
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Everyone is all riled up about the Colts laying down for the Jets on Sunday. Yes, the Colts laid down easier than one of the Kardashians for a pro athlete. Coach Jim Caldwell followed the Colts philosophy that was given to him by Bill Polian - get prepared for the playoffs. The Colts earned the right to do whatever they wanted in the final two games by winning their first 14 - they don’t owe the league, the history or the fans anything. They earned the right to throw Curtis Painter in at QB, where he was more rattled than a Tiger Woods voicemail.

The real question is if Caldwell can now get his players to channel the disappointment and anger they feel - because let’s face it, they all wanted to go for the undefeated season - and use that energy to fend off the Chargers and Patriots to get to the Super Bowl. They’re going to need it because the Chargers are playing better than anyone else in the league and the Patriots appear to be rounding into form.
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The last week of the NFL season has a ton of compelling storylines as teams jostle to get into the playoffs or better their seeding. The only teams that are locked in their spots are the Colts, Chargers and Saints. Everything else is up for grabs. In the NFC, the 6 teams are known, but 3 of the teams could still end up with the #2 seed. In the AFC, there is a mess with a mix of scenarios based on who wins and loses. But the Jets and Ravens can play their way in by beating the Bengals & Raiders, respectively. If the Patriots beat the Texans earlier in the day, the Bengals will have nothing to play for and will likely rest their starters against the Jets. That would mean that the Jets, after losing at home to the Falcons (without Matt Ryan or Michael Turner), would benefit from back to back games against back up competition to get into the playoffs. It’s not their fault - you play the cards you are dealt. Kind of like when you’re at an all-you-can-eat buffet and you have to make a minimum of three trips…..unless you’re Rex Ryan and you make seven trips.
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Interesting link on the most and least profitable teams to gamble on during the decade. I think it’s just a reminder that the lines are always slightly skewed for the big market teams. The Yankees, Red Sox, Lakers and Cubs are among the worst teams to bet on. The first three of those teams have had great overall success, and the Cubs, well…….they suck.
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My weekly NFL Rankings will return either tomorrow or Friday while I recover from my hangover and watch a ridiculous amount of college football.

Update - Regular Schedule Returning

Sorry the posts have been so sporadic the past few weeks. With the holiday travels, the cross-country drive, and the incredible amount of brandy I consumed.......I forgot....errr..... didn't have time.

In any event, I'll be back to normal in the near future. Finally got my primary laptop back.....however it was wiped clean of everything I had on it.....files, pictures, music, programs, etc. So I'm starting from scratch to rebuild it all.

We have a ton to cover in the next couple days........Urban Meyer channeling his inner Brett Favre (or does he just hate his family?).......Mike Leach confining the son of Craig "Pony" James in an electrical closet because he had a concussion......NFL Playoffs.........Assistant Coach of the Vikings Brad Childress.........college football bowls...........NFL Coaching Carousel...........college basketball conference seasons starting........thoughts from Cleveland........etc. Soon we'll be back on schedule.

To make it up to you.....here's a picture of Marissa Miller. You're welcome.

Degenerate Holiday Picks - Week 16

Happy Holidays to everyone! Quick Picks for the NFL week 16:

(Standard Disclosures - home team in CAPS, recreational use, etc.)

TITANS (-3) over San Diego - Titans are more desperate

SAINTS (-14.5) over Buccaneers - Rebound game for New Orleans

Buffalo (+9) over FALCONS - Too many points for a team that isn't good.

EAGLES (-7) over Broncos - Ride the regular season wave of the Eagles

DOLPHINS (-3) over Texans - Houston can't win a game that matters.

PACKERS (-14) over Seahawks - Seattle is mailing it in.

Panthers (+5.5) over GIANTS - Panthers like to spoil other seasons like Delhomme spoiled theirs.

BROWNS (-3.5) over Raiders - Do you want to bet on Charlie Frye getting revenge in Cleveland?

PATRIOTS (-7.5) over Jaguars - Pats only win at home.

Chiefs (+14) over BENGALS - Last week they were fueled by emotion and this week reality sets in. And they have played to the level of their competition all season.

Ravens (+2.5) over STEELERS - Despite last week's miracle against Green Bay, the Steelers have holes that the Ravens know and can exploit.

CARDINALS (-14) over Rams - Cardinals have a shot to unseat the Vikings as the #2 seed.

49ERS (-11.5) over Lions - Send in your highlight tape and you could start at QB for the Lions next week.

COLTS (-5.5) over Jets - Sanchez may turn it over enough to allow Jim Caldwell to finally rest Peyton.

Cowboys (-4) over REDSKINS - If Jim Zorn decided not to show up, would anyone notice?

Vikings (-7) over BEARS - As much as I want the "Favre Diva Show" to cost the Vikings more games, it's the Bears in primetime, which means Jay Cutler will have a minimum of 2 interceptions. It's as obvious as the forced dialogue on The Hills or The City.

Week 15 Hangover - Love/Hate

Today’s post is going to be a little shorter because I didn’t get much time to watch any of the games yesterday. The reason? The biggest hate of the week: Airtran Airways. Airtran is more of a nightmare than Jay Cutler having the ball when it matters. They’re worse than a combination of Brittany Murphy and prescription drugs. (Too soon? RIP Brittany – I actually enjoyed you in Clueless, 8 mile and Just Married).

Saturday afternoon after finishing some last minute Christmas shopping and doing some ice skating with the wife, get home and start packing while the snow flakes start to get bigger. Check on the Sunday morning flight back to Wisconsin…….cancelled. Hate. The 1-2 feet of snow covering the northeast caused more than 12,000 flights to be cancelled. Click around on my options, and the only option is buy a ticket on Tuesday night and pay an extra $900 for our two flights. Tried calling and waited 6 hours on hold without ever getting through. My cordless land line phone battery died while waiting. Instead, we drove 13.5 hours back to Wisconsin.

So the HATE OF THE WEEK: Airtran.

LOVE

- Seeing the diva in Favre taking over. Coach Childress tried to bench him on Sunday night and Favre whined and basically told him he wasn’t coming out of the game. Carmelo Anthony and Rashard Lewis get blasted as being terrible characters when they disobey their coaches, yet Lord Favre can get away with whatever he wants. Think Minnesota is rethinking that contract extension they gave Chilly? We always knew he was a bad coach and would do something to cost the Vikings. We didn’t know it would be an incredibly stupid decision to try and take one of the game’s all-time warriors out of a 1 point game in the third quarter. Who’s driving this team? Wait, we know Chilly is the driver…..but not the one in charge.

- Well at least Jerome Harrison removed Jim Brown from the Browns record book for best individual game. The guy went for 286 yards and 3 TDs. Maybe Cleveland is making a late play to be the 12th team in the Big Ten?

- The AFC playoff picture is extremely jumbled, which should make for many more games with meaning in the final two weeks of the season. All of the 7-7 teams are alive, especially with the Broncos proving that they are very capable of ending the season 8-8. With the Dolphins, Jets and Jaguars all losing, it’s going to be an interesting run for the AFC wildcard spots.

HATE

- The state of Pennsylvania. Not just because of the disheartening Packers loss. (side note: it’s time for Mason Crosby to pull a “Reverse JP Lossman” and move to the UFL) What a strange decision by Mike Tomlin to attempt the on-side kick, but thankfully the Packers decided to go into a prevent defense with a bevy of cornerbacks that stink – yes, I’m talking to you Tramon Williams, Jarrett Bush and Josh Bell. In addition to that game that was tough to swallow, I had to drive through the entire state yesterday to get from New York to Wisconsin. It was horrendously boring and not much to see, even with driving through the Poconos Mountains.

- The way the Redskins are handling their front office and coaching situation is a joke. They had Bruce Allen moving into the office before Vinny Cerrato even had a chance to get out of the building. Now they’re talking to Mike Shanahan about their coaching job…..before they fire Jim Zorn.

- Did I mention that I hate Airtran? Yeah, I covered that already.

Degenerate Friday!! Week 15 - Overexposed Celebrities

I don’t even know what to say about the Chris Henry situation. It’s such a tragedy for a guy who could not handle the fame and success early in his life, constantly putting himself in bad situations. However it appeared that he had finally turned a corner and had his life headed in the right direction. He leaves behind his fiancé (who obviously will be a mental wreck for the foreseeable future) and 3 young kids.

So let’s move on to happier things, like week 15 in the NFL or my picks from last week. Well, 8-7-1 is not exactly anything to celebrate, but it’s an improvement from the previous couple weeks. This week’s games are broken down into categories based on overexposed celebrities from the past year……and I left out plenty of them.

Standard disclosures as always: recreational use only, spreads from the NY Post, home teams in CAPS, etc.

The Gosselins Category
Before Tiger and Elin’s failing marriage, most of 2009 was focused on the collapse of the Jon and Kate Gosselin. For some reason, the media couldn’t get enough of the media-whoring couple with Kate getting a makeover to enhance her on-screen appearance and Jon believing that he was a celebrity. In the end, it’s just a poor situation for the unfortunate 8 kids. At least the porky Jon still has his Ed Hardy t-shirts and shades to make him feel famous. These games are bad matchups (like the Gosselins) and like their finally cancelled show, no one is paying attention to them.

Browns (+1.5) over CHIEFS
I’m fearful of the Browns having a letdown (first time that has ever been said?) after their emotional win over the Steelers. However, Brady Quinn is trying to prove that he can be a viable NFL quarterback (he can) and Eric Mangini is trying to audition for his next job since Mike Holmgren is going to fire him. The Chiefs are terrible and have to be wondering if they made a “Scott Mitchell” sized mistake in signing Matt Cassell to a long-term deal.

Texans (No Line) over RAMS
This game could not be much less interesting. I think Keith Null is starting at quarterback again for the Rams, so that’s enough for me to take the Texans and Andre Johnson to blow them out.

SEAHAWKS (-7) over Buccaneers
The Seahawks have been better at home this season, and the Bucs are getting in position to draft Ndamukong Suh with the top pick. The Seahawks will latch on to a couple of these late season wins over bad teams as a reason for a hopeful future the same way Jon Gosselin believed hanging out with Michael Lohan made him famous.

The Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes Category
They’ve been a strange fascination for the country ever since Tom jumped on Oprah’s couch. The couple has always had a strange vibe to them, as if Tom had brainwashed Katie and she had become his Stepford Wife. And once they brought Suri into the mix, the tabloids were always around as Katie tried to show how normal the family was. The couple is a mismatch from both a looks and a talent standpoint. Tom is the more talented professional with a long line of successful movies and Katie’s highlight was Dawson’s Creek. However, Katie is far and away the one blessed with the looks. In this matchup, it’s easy to root for one of them, and it’s not Tom Cruise. And can we please stop with the ridiculous blended names? Brangelina? TomKat? Enough. These games are bad match-ups as well, with one playoff-bound team against a team from the bottom of the league.

Patriots (-7) over BILLS
The Patriots haven’t won on the road yet this season (London against the pathetic Bucs doesn’t count), and the Bills should have beat the Patriots in Gillette Stadium in Week 1. So why would I want to lay 7 to these plucky Bills? Because the Pats running game is better than people realize (118+ yds/game) and the Bills run defense is awful – worst in the league. Brady won’t even need Moss this week.

Cardinals (-12) over LIONS
Arizona will rebound from from their turnover-fest against the Niners and will destroy the Lions who are likely playing without Kevin Smith or Matthew Stafford. This game could end up being as boring as Vanilla Sky.

EAGLES (-9) over 49ers
The Niners are traveling to the east coast on a short week after an emotional Monday night win and have an early start time. The 1:00 start in Philly is 10:00 for the mental clocks of San Francisco. Add in the fact that the Eagles are more talented and this seems like it’s gold, Jerry. Gold. The Eagles dynamic offense will continue to stack up huge yards and points, distancing themselves in the NFC East.

Vikings (-9) over PANTHERS
A win in this game will lock up the division for the Vikings, and if the Saints slip up against the Cowboys on Saturday night, they will still have a shot at home field advantage. Either way, their defense will be able to slow the running game of the Panthers, meaning Carolina will be relying on Matt Moore. Enough said.

The Jessica Simpson Category
When was the last time she came out with an album? September 2008, and it was a country album. Yet she has been on the cover of every weekly rag mag – US Weekly, OK!, People, etc – 3,432,917 times during 2009. She’s dating John Mayer, now she’s not. She’s dating Tony Romo, and now she’s not. She put a curse on Tony Romo. Now she’s even been linked to Tiger. Enough already – yes, we enjoy your “talents” but we don’t care that you can’t find love. You probably had it with Nick Lachey and you let your crazy father run your life and career into the ground. We want to root for you, Jess, we do. But you just need to lay low, stay out of the headlines and focus on singing, it’s the only thing other than filling out a dress you do really well.

JETS (-6) over Falcons
The Falcons will likely still be without Matt Ryan and Michael Turner, which will make it a challenge against the top-ranked Jets defense. The Falcons will also be leaving the friendly confines of a dome for the cold weather at the Meadowlands, where temps are expected to be in the 20’s.

Packers (+2) over STEELERS
The Steelers have blown their shot at the playoffs, and if the Browns defense could dominate their offensive line, the Packers dynamic defense will destroy them. Without Troy Polamalu in the secondary, the Steelers pass defense has been very average, which does not bode well with Aaron Rodgers playing extremely well. If Green Bay can establish the run early, they should be able to keep their strong grip on the #5 seed in the NFC.

Dolphins (+3) over TITANS
This was the second-hardest game to pick this week. The Titans are still playing hard and playing as well as anyone in the league. However, the Dolphins are the more desperate team as they fight for the final playoff spot in the AFC. With Vince Young likely out and Kerry Collins back at the helm, the Dolphins can put all of their focus on containing Chris Johnson, which should be enough to get it done for Miami.

RAVENS (-11) over Bears
Baltimore took out quite a few frustrations on Detroit last week, and now they get another subpar team to pound on. They need every win to get themselves into the playoffs and they will come out and show they want it against Chicago. The Bears have laid some big eggs this year, getting blown out Cincy, Arizona & Minnesota. This one could be uglier than Jessica Simpson in those strange high-waisted pants.

Giants (-3) over REDSKINS
The Giants have to win this game to stay in the playoff hunt. Despite their defense playing awful and the Redskins offense playing better, New York will be ready to rally. Big Blue still has the 4th best rushing offense in the NFC and combined with their big receivers, Eli should be able to orchestrate some points. Redskins at least got the Monday night focus off of their pitiful season and on to their coaching search. Gruden has supposedly turned down Bruce Allen already and it looks like Mike Shanahan will bring his awkwardly tanned face to the sidelines in Washington next year.

The Lindsay Lohan Category
She has been an actress since she was a little girl and was thrust into the spotlight as an attractive young woman. Someone then introduced her to booze and coke, which it turns out was a bad decision. Amazingly that has not worked out very well for her career or her looks. She’s 23 years old, but has the face of a 50 year old. And yet, despite her being a train wreck, you feel bad, but at the same time, it’s entertaining to try and see what she does next. These games are the only games this week between teams that would currently be in the playoffs if they started today.

SAINTS (-7) over Cowboys
The Superdome will be rocking as the Saints saw the Colts get to 14-0, and now have their chance to match. The Saints offense will be able to slice through the Ware-less Cowboys defense and put plenty of points on the board. The Cowboys have not fared well in December yet again, but this year, it’s more the schedule than the lack of execution by the Cowboys. If the Cowboys bring their “Lindsay Lohan on the cover of GQ in 2004” game to the field on Saturday night, they have a chance to pull the upset and make a national statement. Yet, Wade Phillips is the cocaine that turns Lindsay from 2004 to 2010. Sorry Dallas, it is the year of the Saints……well, except for Letterman, Steve Phillips, Tiger Woods, Mark Sanford, John Edwards, LeAnn Rimes & Eddie Cibrian.

Bengals (+6.5) over CHARGERS
This was the hardest game of the week to pick, as the Chargers are on fire, but the Bengals now have the emotional motivation of the Chris Henry tragedy. The Bengals are talented and with the extra emotion involved, should come out to play this game in honor of their late teammate. The Chargers are the better team and will beat the Bengals if they see them in the playoffs, but on this day at this time, they don’t have as much to play for.

If We Knew Then What We Know Now........2009

First things first – the most important health news you will receive – EVER. You’re welcome.

LATE ADD - Thursday NFL Pick:
Colts (-3) over JAGUARS
Coach Caldwell wants to rest his players and the players want to go for the undefeated season. Something tells me the Colts will blow up the Jags early in an attempt to put the game away before Caldwell can take them out.

As we begin to wrap up 2009, instead of listing off the top movies or songs or albums or something of the year, I decided to take a little trip back in time. So hop in the Delorean with Marty McFly, fire it up with one-point-twenty-one jiggawatts of power and let’s set the destination to January 1, 2009. Let’s look at things we were pretty certain of at that time, and how they ended up playing out during the year. And next week I’ll come up with the things we believe at the end of 2009.

Belief #1: Brett Favre is retired and going to (finally) disappear into the vast farmland of Mississippi. After trying to force his way to the Vikings, Brett ended up with one poor season in New York hampered by a torn bicep, and it appeared pretty obvious to everyone that his tank had run dry and that he would finally hang up the cleats for good.

End of Year Reality #1: Favre did in fact retire in February 2009, blubbering like a little baby and telling ESPN that “there is no chance” he’ll play football again. Yet we all saw the ridiculous circus that ensued, with Favre denying that the Vikings had reached out to him, then eventually having his driver, Coach Brad Childress, pick him up from the airport. Favre is now among the favorites to win the league MVP, leading Minnesota to an 11-2 record. While some may have predicted the return to the game, very few people expected him to play as well as he has. Level of Surprise: Kim Kardashian Sex Tape (intriguing, but not really surprising)

Belief #2: The Arizona Cardinals were lucky to sneak into the playoffs by winning a terrible division, and would quickly be eliminated by the 11-5 Atlanta Falcons. The Cardinals won the putrid NFC West early and coasted the final weeks of the season. They looked like easy prey for Matt Ryan, Michael Turner and the Falcons.

End of the Year Reality #2: The Cards got hot in the playoffs, squeaked by Falcons, flattened the Panthers on the road, and beat the Eagles in Phoenix to advance to the Super Bowl. Suddenly the Cards offense was among the most dangerous in the league and their defense was playing as well as any team in the league. The end result was they were a few seconds, inches and an amazing Santonio Holmes tip toe in the endzone from being the Super Bowl champs. Kurt Warner was making you seriously consider him as a potential Hall-of-Famer, completing a comeback that could only be rivaled by the turnaround his wife made from resembling Annie Lennox of the Eurythmics (look her up kids) to being kind of a sneaky snicky. Level of Surprise: Carrie Prejean Sex Tape (we knew she had it in her)

Belief #3: Tiger Woods was coming off knee surgery, primed to continue his assault on Jack Nicklaus’s record 18 majors. He won the 2008 US Open on one leg, so there was no doubt that he would be able to rehab quickly and continue to dominate the PGA Tour. And as if his professional life didn’t seem good enough, he had a Swedish model for a wife with one beautiful kid and a baby due in a few months.

End of the Year Reality #3: He won 7 events on the tour and took home his second FedEx Cup championship. For almost 11 months, the year had gone exactly how you would have expected for Tiger. However, there was a reason he was so big on privacy, as his entire empire eventually collapsed around him due to his “transgressions” with a harem of women, concerns over his extreme gambling habits and most recently potential ties to a Canadian doctor with hook-ups for HGH. He has become the butt of numerous jokes using the slogans of many of the products he endorsed:

“Is it in you? It’s in every skank in town!” (Gatorade)
“Just Do It! Literally!” (Nike)
“Go On Be A Tiger – In the Bedroom!” (Accenture)
“The Best a Man Can Get – A Perkins Waitress, Really?” (Gillette)

He’s taken an indefinite leave from golf as his wife has moved out with the kids and she is parading in public without her wedding ring. His endorsements are drying up and he’s not speaking to his celebrity friends. No one ever could have predicted this. Level of Surprise: Tiger Woods Scandal (his own level at the very highest of surprises)

Belief #4: In December 2008, the Yankees signed C.C. Sabathia and A.J. Burnett to fix their pitching woes and help them pass the Red Sox and Rays for the AL East title. As of January 1, they were just in talks with Mark Teixeira, to join them. With a rotation of CC, AJ, Pettite, Wang, and Joba, they were expected to pitch their way to the title.

End of Year Reality #4: That’s exactly what happened. The team added Teixeira to bolster the offense, and in the playoffs they switched to a 3-man rotation, relying solely on Sabathia, Burnett & Pettite through the playoffs. Despite Alex Rodriguez admitting to using steroids and missing the early part of the season to recover from hip surgery, he started dating Kate Hudson, settled down and became clutch. Level of Surprise: Liberace and Clay Aiken playing for the other team (duh)

Belief #5: Tim Tebow and the Florida Gators were preparing to take on the Oklahoma Sooners for the national championship in Miami. Tebow was as powerful and unstoppable as the Most Interesting Man in the World from the Dos Equis commercials. The question was not whether he would win the championship, it was whether he would come back for his senior season, win another Heisman Trophy and a win a third championship.

End of the Year Reality #5: Tebow and the Gators did win the championship on January 8th and Tebow did come back for his senior season. Yet everything changed when Taylor Wyndham of Kentucky came free late in a blow out game and knocked Tebow unconscious, sending him to the hospital with a severe concussion. Suddenly he was human, there was renewed concern about his ability to play quarterback at the next level and it became clear that he was a great leader, but not among the best players in the country. He came back to play in two weeks and still was a finalist for the Heisman (finishing 5th), but the team lost their chance at a National Championship, and the aura of Tebow was broken. Level of Surprise: Jessica Simpson broke up with another boyfriend (inevitable at some point)

Belief #6: Michael Jackson had disappeared from the public radar and had become a reclusive star. There were rumors of financial trouble when he sold his Neverland ranch, and rumors of failing health when he was seen in a wheelchair. However, there was no reason to believe there would be any news around him.

End of the Year Reality #6: Michael came out in February and announced he would be doing 10 “curtain call” concerts in London. At 50 years old, he began preparing himself to put on the shows. Unfortunately, on June 25th Michael Jackson went into cardiac arrest and died, surrounded by questions regarding his personal doctor and the care and prescriptions he was receiving. The public outcry of emotion and tributes to the King of Pop continued for several months and included him posthumously collecting a handful of American Music Awards. Level of Surprise: Betty Draper finding out about Don’s secret life (no one’s rooting for it, but it was going to happen at some point)

Bonus Belief: Obama was about to take office, walk on water, bring together both parties, stop the war, solve the economic woes and fix world hunger in his spare time. The expectations were through the roof for a young politician coming out of the dirty political pool that is Chicago and Illinois.

End of Year Bonus Reality: We’re still waiting. Other than having “Cash for _______” programs, he has more rounds of golf played than problems solved. Obviously most of these problems are not quick-fixes, but we’ve seen his approval rating sink faster than Jay Leno’s ratings. I think his only campaign promise that he kept was when he said he wanted a playoff in college football, and the Senate subcommittee actually voted on it. (sorry to get political, but it is what it is) Level of Surprise: Michael Jordan's Hall of Fame Speech (suddenly falling off the pedestal)

NFL Power Rankings - College Football Bowls

It is Bowl Season, which is just as much a part of the holiday season as eggnog, a jolly fat man in a funny suit or chocolate “gold” coins (depending upon your beliefs). So for this week’s NFL Power Rankings, the teams are broken down by categories based on the bowl games.

With only three weeks left in the regular season, the league has pretty much separated itself into (1) the top teams that are legit Super Bowl contenders, (2) teams that believe they have a shot but in reality have fatal flaws, (3) teams just fighting to make the edge of the playoffs, and (4) everyone else. But since those categories are boring, we’ll go with the college football bowls.

This week’s big climbers are the Titans and Browns – yes the Browns – and the biggest declines belong to the Bengals and Panthers.

The National Championship Game
Alabama (-4.5) vs. Texas in Pasadena, CA
This is the game we’ve waited all season for, and it shouldn’t disappoint. The stifling Bama defense goes up against Colt McCoy and the prolific Texas offense. It will be must watch television, like all these teams in the top tier of the NFL. I’ll take Alabama and give the points based on their offense being better than the Texas defense.

1. Saints (last week: 1) – They squeaked out a win over the Falcons and have made no secret that they want the undefeated season. That doesn’t bode well for the Cowboys on Saturday night.

2. Colts (2) – They’re on cruse control, so no matter what happens in the last three weeks, they will maintain one of the top two spots in the league. However, Manning’s three interceptions moved him to 3rd in the MVP voting behind Brees and Favre.

3. Chargers (3) – The Chargers are like Kristin Bell: they are among the most talented things out there, yet they get overlooked when the discussion turns to the top talent around. Random aside, did you know Kristin Bell is the narrator voice on Gossip Girl?

4. Vikings (6) – It was a serious bounce back game for the Vikings to lay the smack down on the Bengals. They needed that for their own confidence as much as anything else.

The Rose Bowl
Oregon (-3.5) vs. Ohio State in Pasadena, CA
The Grand Daddy of them all, The Rose Bowl pits a very dangerous Ducks offense against a very stout Ohio State defense. Oregon pasted the USC team that won in Columbus, which is not good news for Buckeyes fans. These NFL teams are much like this game in that everyone loves the pageantry and talent of these teams, but they can’t quite buy into them as being the best teams or game out there. I’ll take Oregon to lay the lumber to the Buckeyes.

5. Eagles (7) – The Eagles have the inside track to win the NFC East, and have unleashed some real creativity on offense. Oh, and DeSean Jackson is more dangerous from more than 50 yards away than the Eagles running game is from the goalline.

6. Cardinals (5) – Way to follow up that impressive win over the Vikings with an absolute stinker against the 49ers on Monday night. The turnovers are the fatal flaw that could keep the Cardinals from advancing very far in the playoffs.

7. Packers (8) – Their defense continues to dominate games, and Charles Woodson not winning the defensive player of the year award would be a bigger injustice than Steve Czaban getting bounced from Fox Sports Radio in favor of Stephen “Screamin’” A. Smith. Czabe is intelligent and entertaining, neither of which could ever be used to describe Smith – the loud-mouthed moron from Philly.

The Sugar Bowl
Florida (-10.5) vs. Cincinnati in New Orleans, LA
Florida has to bounce back from their SEC Championship Game disappointment, and Cincy has to rebound from the loss of their coach. Tim Tebow’s final college game and as much as I’m not a huge believer in Saint Tim, he may go down among the greatest college football players of all time. I like Cincy’s senior leaders to try and keep it close, but they don’t have the defense to stop Urban’s offense. Take the Gators to blow them out.

8. Bengals (4) – They may have peaked too early, kind of like Britney Spears, and while they haven’t fallen as far as the “shaved head stage” but they are teetering on marrying a back-up dancer/wannabe rapper.

9. Broncos (10) – Denver hung tough against the Colts by relying on their best player, Brandon Marshall. Unfortunately, it also highlighted that they have a very visible ceiling, and it’s the first round of the playoffs.

10. Cowboys (9) – It’s December, of course they’re slipping. I’m not sure there is anything Wade Phillips can do at this point to keep his job, short of getting to the Super Bowl. Without DeMarcus Ware, Wade should call his real estate agent.

11. Patriots (10) – Everyone’s worried about the Kate Hudson break up causing Alex Rodriguez to revert back to his non-clutch ways. Should we be worried that the new Brady baby has Tom’s other baby Randy Moss feeling neglected and ruining the Patriots?

12. Ravens (13) – The Ravens have the inside track to get the final wildcard spot in the AFC, but will only go as far as Joe Flacco can take them.

13. Giants (11) – It was a disheartening loss to the Eagles, and the only thing keeping them in the playoff hunt is the swoon of the Cowboys. Their defense has been horrendous and Tom Coughlin will have to make a chance in the off season.

The Champs Sports Bowl
Miami (-3.5) vs. Wisconsin in Orlando, FL
It’s the speed of the Hurricanes against the power of the Badgers. Miami likes to let JaCorey Harris throw it all over the field, and the Wisconsin secondary has been terrible all year, which is a major advantage for Miami. Then again, the Hurricanes have not seen a running game like the one John Clay and the Badgers bring to town. Look for the Badgers to slow the game down, keep it close and have a chance to win it late. Take the Badgers and the points. Much like this game, this team is entertaining to watch but really has no actual consequences on the national scene.

14. Titans (17) – Chris Johnson continues to light up the league with his rushing and his receiving, but unfortunately the Titans will not be able to completely dig out of that 0-6 start to make the playoffs.

The Fiesta Bowl
TCU (-7) vs. Boise State in Phoenix, AZ
It’s the battle of the disrespected little guys! At the end of the day, no one really cares who wins this game because they wouldn’t beat Texas or Alabama either way. TCU has an impressive defense and should be able to slow down the Bronco offense. Take the Horned Frogs. These teams are fighting for the final AFC playoff spot but it doesn’t really matter because they will only be winning the right to lose to the Bengals or Patriots.

15. Dolphins (14) – Considering they started the season 0-3 and were 3-5 at the midpoint, it’s impressive that they are even in the discussion. Looks like Miami found their quarterback of the future in Chad Henne, and now they need to find him some receivers.

16. Jets (15) – The Jets were able to get away with Kellen Clemens at quarterback against the Bucs, but will need Mark Sanchez to play like he did the first three weeks of the season if they want to make the playoffs. It’s a long shot, as they don’t hold a tiebreaker over any of the teams they are currently tied with.

17. Jaguars (16) – This team is so unimpressive, and with the Colts and Patriots the next two weeks, should find themselves out of the playoffs. They’re talking about drafting Tim Tebow purely for marketing and ticket sales, which seems like a bad idea. Let’s now worry about if the team stinks as long as we sell a few more tickets!!

The Capital One Bowl
Penn State (-2.5) vs. LSU in Orlando, FL
This game pits big-time name schools in a game that can continue to fuel the argument between talent levels in the SEC and Big Ten. Thankfully the game starts at 1pm, so it should end in time for Joe Pa to make his 4:30pm dinner reservation at Perkins. (Resisting the urge to make a Tiger joke) Take the Tigers over the Nittany Lions.

18. Texans (20) – The Texans have the big names like Penn State and LSU, yet have been extremely disappointing, much like both teams in the Capital One Bowl. Could this be a tempting place for Bill Cowher to make his return?

The Orange Bowl
Georgia Tech (-4) vs. Iowa in Miami, FL
This game actually presents a good matchup for Iowa, as the Hawkeyes are much less athletic than most teams. Yet Georgia Tech runs the triple option, allowing the size of the Hawkeyes to come into play more than their speed. The Orange Bowl has great tradition, but this doesn’t appear to be a game that will go down among its great games of the past. Yellow Jackets cover the spread.

19. Steelers (19) – Much like the Orange Bowl, the Steelers have the tradition but have been a disappointment this year.

The Holiday Bowl
Arizona (-1.5) vs. Nebraska in San Diego, CA
Nebraska was one second away from playing in a BCS Bowl and instead heads to the Holiday bowl to take on Mike Stoops Arizona squad. The question is whether Nebraska’s super stud defender Suh is going to play full speed or try to protect himself from getting injured in his final game. Take the Huskers to get it done.

20. Falcons (18) – The Falcons were about as close to the playoffs as Nebraska was to the Big 12 championship before injuries to Matt Ryan and Michael Turner derailed their season.

21. Seahawks (22) – Seattle was also racked by injuries this year, meaning Coach Jim Mora is not enjoying his first year with the team nearly as much as Bruce Pearl is enjoying his time in Tennessee.

The Emerald Bowl
USC (-9) vs. Boston College in San Francisco, CA
The Bay Area is not exactly what comes to mind when you think of Bowl locations, and definitely not where Pete Carroll thought he’d be ringing in the New Year. Actually, Pete has his New Year free as this game is being played on December 26th. The Trojans had a very atypical season, yet have enough weapons to dismantle the Eagles.

22. 49ers (24) – The pro team located in San Francisco has a tradition as strong as USC’s however they haven’t been at that level in a long time. Monday night’s dismantling of the Cards showed that they have some strong foundation pieces in Vernon Davis, Frank Gore, Michael Crabtree, and Patrick Willis on defense.

The Little Caesars Bowl
Ohio (-2.5) vs. Marshall in Detroit, MI
So to reward you for your boring season in a boring conference, good luck headed to Detroit for the holidays!! I have no idea about either one of these teams other than Randy Moss, Byron Leftwich and Chad Pennington are no longer at Marshall and former Nebraska coach Frank Solich still coaches Ohio. That’s enough for me to take Ohio. This is a depressing game with minimal redeeming qualities…..which is the perfect description of:

23. Bears (23) – This has been a depressing season for the Bears that started out with such promise when they acquired Jay Cutler. Unfortunately they forgot to take one key point into account: He’s Jay Cutler. Look for Lovie Smith to end up as a defensive coordinator somewhere next season.

The Gator Bowl
West Virginia (-3) vs. Florida State in Jacksonville, FL
The Konica Minolta Gator Bowl and the ACC really were a sham this year, taking the 6-6 Florida State Seminoles over many more deserving ACC teams. The ACC allowed it to happen so that Bobby Bowden could coach his final game in Florida. I guess it’s a nice tribute to a guy that revitalized football in northern Florida, but it just seems like the game became a puppet show to make sure Bobby got his wish. Take the Seminoles to rally behind their coach and send him off with one last victory.

24. Redskins (26) – Speaking of puppet shows, it’s not really clear who is doing what in Washington, and yet whatever it is seems to have been successful. Jim Zorn stopped paying attention weeks ago, and Sherm Lewis couldn’t have made that much of a difference fresh out of the bingo parlor, could he? Suddenly Jason Campbell remembered how to be a legit quarterback and the Redskins are on the verge of being a dangerous spoiler.

The Cotton Bowl
Ole Miss (-3) vs. Oklahoma State in Dallas, TX
This game matches up a highly overrated team with a turnover machine for a quarterback against a team with a troublemaker wide receiver who ended up getting suspended. Both descriptions fit one NFL team: The Carolina Panthers. Since Mike Gundy is a man and over 40 years old, I expect him to have some creative defense ready to confuse Jevan Snead.

25. Panthers (21) – Bill Belichick took a great little shot at the Panthers when reacting to Chris Gamble’s comments about Randy Moss. After basically saying he wasn’t worried about it, he ended his thought by casually tossing out there “well, I mean, they haven’t won very many games this year.” Ouch.

The Hawaii Bowl
Nevada (-15) vs. SMU in Honolulu, HI
This game has the biggest spread among any of the bowl games. I guess Craig James, Eric Dickerson and the Pony Express must not be playing for SMU any more. If you lived in Hawaii and were not an alumni from either school, is there ANY chance you would go to this game? There is a better chance of me watching a Real Housewives of Orange County marathon…….wait, I might actually watch that to see what stupid things Gretchen is going to do next. This seems like too many points to give to a team that got destroyed by Notre Dame in Nevada. Take the Pony Express.

26. Bills (27) – Did they move to Toronto permanently yet?

27. Raiders (25) – After losing to the Redskins, what do we make of the Raiders? They have beaten the Eagles, Bengals and Steelers and lost to the Chiefs and Redskins. At least they seem to have realized that their best rookie WR is Louis Murphy and not Darius Heyward-Bey.

28. Browns (31) – The Browns have been talking to Mike Holmgren about being their football czar, but they’re going to need to do some construction in their football offices. If Holmgren takes the job, he’s going to need an adjoining office for his ego, but maybe they can convert Mangini’s office because he won’t need it.

The Insight Bowl
Minnesota (-2.5) vs. Iowa State in Tempe, AZ
Typically the worst bowl games are played early in the season, like the New Mexico Bowl, The St. Petersburg Bowl or the New Orleans Bowl. But the Insight Bowl is the only game that pits two teams without winning records, as both teams come in with 6-6 records. This game and these teams in this category are terrible. They are just fighting for the right to draft Ndamukong Suh with the first pick.

29. Chiefs (28) – The Chiefs have that bad feeling like they woke up next to a Waffle House waitress that was pushing a deuce to deuce in a half after a really long night of boozing. Matt Cassell is the Waffle House waitress and he convinced the Chiefs to go to Vegas, tie the knot and signed a 5 year pre-nup.

30. Lions (29) – I guess there has been progress this year based on two more wins than last year, but judging by the hammering they took from the Ravens, it’s hard to see it. The Big Ten is talking about expanding, and the Lions should consider applying to be that 12th team because they might be able to beat Minnesota and play in the Insight Bowl.

31. Buccaneers (30) – After Josh Freeman was impressive in his first couple of starts, teams actually watched some film and he’s struggled mightily. After a 5 interception game two weeks ago, the Bucs offense didn’t get a first down until the third quarter against the Jets.

32. Rams (32) – Keith Null started at quarterback last week for St. Louis. Yeah, I don’t know who that is either. I guess he’s a rookie from West Texas A&M where the quarterback coach was Ryan Leaf. And we’re surprised that he wasn’t good in his debut?

Tuesday Ramblings - Things That Confuse Me

I’m thoroughly confused by many things in life: carnival workers, the game of cricket, clowns, solving the Rubix Cube, the appeal of Lady Gaga, and people walking down the street that just stop abruptly in the middle of the sidewalk to talk on their cell phones or stare in store windows. I can now add to a few more things to that list: Phillies trades, Jake Locker & Roy Williams.

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It is now being confirmed that it is two separate trades by the Phillies, the first sending their top prospects (the ones they wouldn’t trade in July) to the Blue Jays for pitcher Roy Halladay. The second is then trading pitcher Cliff Lee to the Mariners for prospects. Why would they make those deals? Why would they not keep Lee and lock themselves in as the favorite to win it all next season. Can you picture a rotation of Halladay, Lee, Cole Hammels, JA Happ, Joe Blanton and Pedro Martinez on the ready if there are any injuries halfway through the season? That would be as good as any rotation since the Braves of the mid-1990’s.

I get that they will have Halladay sign a contract extension and Lee wanted to test the free agent market after the season. I get that Halladay has been a little better than Lee in the regular season during their careers. But we know that Lee is a stud in the playoffs. We don’t know how Halladay is in the playoffs because he’s never been there. I just don’t get it. Yet, as a Brewers fan, I’m glad they screwed up their team. Thank you, Ruben Amaro Jr.

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North Carolina men’s basketball coach Roy Williams is a great coach and despite bearing a strange resemblance to Droopy the cartoon dog, he has a great reputation as being a great person. Yet at a recent game he had a fan removed from the Dean Dome during a game against Presbyterian for yelling “Don’t miss it Deon!” during a free-throw. First, Prebyterian? It’s a school of 1200 students and 84 professors on 240 acres in Clinton, South Carolina. They are 2-8, only having beaten Montreat and Southern – and yes, Montreat. That was not a misprint.

But more important, really Roy? Your players can’t handle a little ribbing – ribbing that was not crass, profane or offensive? I mean, maybe I’m biased because of a little story from back in college. It’s Camp Randall Stadium in Madison, 1999, and Nick Saban’s 11th ranked Michigan State Spartans are coming to town boasting one of the best run defenses in the country. We had a tradition of missing the first minutes of the game because we were, ummmm, “fueling our energy” for the team. Unfortunately, on our way to the stadium, we miss Ron Dayne bust off a 51 yard touchdown on the 4th play of the game. But we didn’t miss a chance to let Michigan State know about it as we were walking behind their bench on the way to our seats. We were calling out players by their numbers, reminding them that they’re going to see those plays all day, and that Dayne is going to do things to their girlfriends after the game. To top it all off, Diggity decides to call out an enormous defensive lineman, and when the player turns to look, Diggity busts out his best Hulk Hogan flex and tells him he can’t handle us. Needless to say the security guards came over and hustled us along to our seats. And by the way, MSU couldn’t handle him, as he rumbled to 214 yards in a 40-10 Wisconsin victory. Oh, and after that game, Camp Randall changed their policy and you had to enter the stadium closest to your seats. Coincidence? Maybe.

That may have just been an excuse to tell that story, but the point is that college kids get fueled up with booze and will taunt the other team. That’s part of the experience. So if your team can’t handle a little taunting from a Presbyterian fan, how are they going to react to the Cameron Crazies when they play Duke? I don’t get it.

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Quarterback Jake Locker has decided to return to the University of Washington for his senior season. Why? He was going to be a first round pick, and Todd McShay of ESPN has him penciled in as the first pick in the draft. So what is the benefit of staying in school? I get the whole education thing and they like being college kids – who doesn’t? I mean, the parties, the co-eds, being the big man on campus, the co-eds. It’s all amazing. But you have a chance to get $40+ million in guaranteed money. Did you not see what happened to Sam Bradford? He would have been in the mix for the top pick last year, and now he’s an injury concern and may fall to the middle or late end of round one. I don’t get it.

Week 14 Hangover - Love/Hate

LOVE

- I thought the NFL was supposed to be a league of parity? If that was really the case, then why are we looking at the distinct possibility that in 3 seasons, we’ll have 3 teams that went undefeated in the regular season and a team that lost all 16 games? That seems to be the antithesis of parity.

The Colts & Saints keep finding ways to win, and the Saints are telling everyone that they plan on going full speed ahead. The Colts appear more likely rest players and coast their way to the end of the season – they don’t play another meaningful game until January 16th. It will be hard to keep your momentum when you don’t play a game with any ramifications for over a month. Get ready for a boatload of analysts telling you that they “know” the best plan for these teams to go undefeated – and almost none of them have any real knowledge since they haven’t done it.

And Mercury Morris, you attention-grabbing-idiot, there are two teams, and they’re on your doorstep, ready to jack you in the face like you’re Snooki from the Jersey Shore.

- Congrats to Mark Ingram for winning the Heisman. You’re now in the exclusive club that includes Gino Toretta, Jason White, Eric Crouch, Chris Weinke, Ron Dayne (that hurt to type), Danny Wuerffel, Andre Ware and Rashaan Salaam. And in other news, the Heisman winner has played in 8 national championship games……and lost 7 times. That’s not good news for Alabama. The only Heisman winner to take the title was Matt Leinart in 2004. Even though Suh, the defensive animal from Nebraska was the best player in the country, Ingram was the best, safe choice.

- The AFC playoff picture is about as messed up as the youngest kid from Family Ties, Brian Bonsoll. Does anyone remember that show for anything other than Michael J. Fox, his sister Mallory, the dad with the beard and Meredith Baxter Burney (who recently came out of the closet)? That could make for an interesting “where are they now” special. Anyway…..back to the AFC playoffs where Jacksonville, the Jets, Baltimore and Miami are all 7-6, tied for the last wildcard spot, and only one game behind the 8-5 Broncos. The Ravens appear to have the inside track, having all losing teams (Chicago, Pittsburgh & Oakland) remaining on their schedule, making them likely to get to 10 wins. The Jags stink, and have the Colts on Thursday, followed by New England (in Foxboro) and Cleveland. That’s 8-8 at absolute best. The Jets have Atlanta, Indy & Cincy, which makes it unlikely they’ll get better than 8-8. And the Dolphins have Tennessee, Houston & Pittsburgh, which I think puts them in line for 9-7. Denver looks likely to get to 10 wins, with Oakland and Kansas City sandwiched around Philly. Based on those schedules, it looks like Denver and Baltimore are most likely to get in.

- Speaking of Baltimore, how impressive has Ray Rice been this year? He’s second in the league in total yards per game (behind Chris Johnson of the Titans), averaging more than 130 yards/game. The guy has been impressive running and receiving and has moved into the discussion of the top 5 running backs in the league.

- Tiger Woods is taking an indefinite leave from golf. That’s in his best interest, so good luck to him in trying to save his marriage and family. Yikes. My guess is that he will not be seen or heard from until 2011. The PGA is scrambling to find another cursing, temper-tantrum-throwing dominant force to lead the tour…….or maybe they’re just going to highlight John Daly’s loss of 100 pounds and ridiculous pants.

HATE

- It’s December. Time for holiday cheer, foreigners cramming into Rockefeller Center, the Chargers winning football games and the Cowboys losing football games. This December has the potential to be absolutely crushing for Dallas, after losing two tough games to the Giants and Chargers; they have to face the Saints and a resilient Redskins team – both on the road. Then they get Philly at home to end the season, and thankfully that game takes place after the calendar turns over to 2010. The real lesson learned has nothing to do with the calendar and everything to do with the Cowboys: they’re just not that good. Romo is a middle of the pack quarterback, their receivers are not explosive, their offensive line is not dominant at all, and their defense is adequate. That is not a recipe for success. Oh, and I forgot to mention that their coach is a better fit as Santa’s helper in the local mall than he is a fit as an NFL coach.

- Tough gambling moments of the weekend: (1) The Cowboys touchdown with 2 seconds left gained a push as the Chargers were favored by 3, and (2) if the Pats could have punched it in for a late TD (Maroney was tackled at the 6 at the two minute warning) instead of taking a few knees to run out the clock, they could have gotten the cover against the Panthers.

- Cue up Dennis Green…….the Bears are who we thought they were. And Jay Cutler is exactly who we thought he was. A brash, strong-armed quarterback with big moxy when thing are going well, but pouts when they aren’t. He’s good enough to make some spectacular plays to keep you in a game, but then he’s bad enough to make some terrible mistakes that cost you the game that he kept you in. And that’s what he did (again) against Green Bay, throwing a horrid interception in the second half (his second of the day), leading to the winning score. He leads the league with 22 picks, and looks likely to keep that dubious title since Jake Delhomme won’t be playing again this season.

- Looks like Randy Moss is ready to resume his role of Bad Santa this year in New England. The guy is a freak of an athletic talent but as soon as he feels even the slightest bit of disappointment or that he has been mistreated, he packs it in. He’s like the little kid on the playground who tries to make up his own rules and then decides that he’s going to take his ball and go home as soon as things don’t go his way. Tom Brady is making the right decisions to just throw to Wes Welker on almost every pass play. Moss is treating the Pats season the same way he treated the goal post in Lambeau Field when he was a member of the Vikings.