Degenerate Friday!! NCAA Tourney

A couple quick hits before this week’s gambling tip. First, the most dangerous thing in New York right now? Trees. Another N’oreaster storm hit the city yesterday (and today), with a ton of wet, heavy snow which sticks to the tree branches and creates a really pretty winter wonderland scene in Central Park. Really pretty until those branches can’t handle the weight of the snow and start crashing down. One of those falling branches hit and killed a guy yesterday. I can’t think of too many worse ways to go – that’s brutal.

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Supposedly there is a feud between US Olympic skiiers Lindsey Vonn and Julia Mancuso and it boiled over when Vonn crashed on her run earlier this week. The crash caused them to restart Mancuso’s run (which had started while Vonn was still on the course), and she had to rerun after waiting for the rest of the field to run and the course conditions deteriorated. Mancuso also made some comments in Sports Illustrated about how the team is struggling because everyone is struggling for attention and that Vonn was basically being a diva. Are we really surprised that Mancuso would feel some jealousy toward her teammate who didn’t win medals in Torino in 2006 yet snagged an SI cover photo, was part of the swimsuit issue and then snared all the headlines with her shin injury drama? That attention turns into endorsements, which means money. And for Olympic athletes (other than the pros in basketball or hockey), making a name for themselves and getting endorsements is their best chance to rake in the dough.

Mancuso has been very successful – two silvers in this year’s games, and another chance hurt by Vonn’s fall – and she is also very talented in the beauty department. And so maybe hinting at a catfight is a ploy to get some attention turned on her as well as Lindsey. Personally? I’m a fan of Mancuso over Vonn. Vonn is a fame-monger and a drama queen who seems to share the same attitude of Bode Miller, whom I have very little respect for.

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I thought about just rerunning last week’s degenerate column and pick the USA to win the gold medal game this weekend. Yet I actually think the US team will have a tough time beating Finland in the semifinal round today. It has all of the set up for a let-down game for the US, where they are looking forward to the gold medal game and take the Fins lightly. The loss to the US also served as a wake-up call for the Canadians who took out their frustration on the Russians and will be ready for whoever makes the final game. Look for the Canadians to win the hockey gold to go with their golds in men’s and women’s curling. Although the Canadians haven’t owned the podium like they claimed they would, if they win hockey and curling gold, they can at least know that their position in the world is secure.

Speaking of curling, there is quite a bit of buzz around the captain of the women’s team, Cheryl Bernard. The 43 year old cougar has taken the country by storm and said she can’t even go to the grocery store without being mobbed for autographs.

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Finally, let’s get to the gambling!! This week, let’s take a look at the odds to win the NCAA tournament, as selection Sunday is March 14th – only 2 weeks away. Since many employers may block the links to bodog, here’s a quick list of the odds for some of the favorites:

Kansas – 2/1
Kentucky – 4/1
Syracuse – 5/1
Villanova – 8/1
Texas – 13/1
Duke – 14/1
Purdue – 15/1
Ohio State – 15/1
Michigan State – 18/1
West Virginia – 18/1
Kansas State – 25/1
Georgetown – 32/1
Wisconsin – 45/1
Tennessee – 50/1
California – 60/1

If we are going to place some hard earned bling down on a team – even if it is previous gambling winnings, you worked hard to pick that win – we want it to be the best value. Therefore, getting less than 5/1 odds is not attractive. Kansas and Kentucky get eliminated. The next requirement is that the team has to have the ability to win and it would not be a huge shocker to see them cutting down the nets. That takes out Duke, Kansas State and West Virginia. And finally, they can’t play in a conference that resembles a toilet bowl – full of turds. That takes out California and really, any team west of the Rocky Mountains (BYU & New Mexico). Let’s look at the best bets among the favorites , the pick, and the best long-shot value.

Quick Aside – before this week’s games, Purdue would have been my pick. They have a veteran point guard (Chris Kramer – Purdue always has these junkyard dog guys – Kramer, Brian Cardinal, Matt Painter), dynamic scorer (E’Twaun Moore), big man (JuJuan Johnson), shooter (Robbie Hummel), bench scoring (Keaton Grant) and defense tighter than the Hannah Storm’s outfits on ESPN. (ESPN can’t suspend me like they did with Tony Kornheiser, right? I’m allowed to say that I’m all for Hannah and her hooker boots and that Chris Berman is a fat, arrogant blowhard. I can say that, right?) Losing Hummel for the season to an ACL injury changes all of that – he was their all-around guy, who rebounded well and defended well in addition to his shooting. If Coach Painter can rally his guys, they still have the talent to make noise, but I don’t see them getting past the sweet 16.

The Favorite

Villanova (8/1)
Jay Wright’s Wildcats have the talent and depth to win the title. They have the veteran guard play with Scottie Reynolds to keep the team under control, which I think separates them from a team like Kentucky, who may have more talent from top to bottom. ESPN is currently running a promo for their gameday this weekend and a special on Villanova and “why Scottie Reynolds chose to come back for his senior year” – is this really a question? The reason he came back was that he is destined to be the next Troy Bell or Shawn Respert!! A prolific scoring guard in college that is not big enough to play shooting guard at the next level and not a good enough ball handler or passer to make the shift to point guard. But he is built perfectly to get hot in the tournament and lead his team to the championship. Shooting guard Corey Stokes was busted for public urination last week which may affect his status for the game against Syracuse, but shouldn’t affect the team long term. Kind of like when Hildo was busted for public urination ON Science Hall in Madison – it affected our trip to Qdoba (at that time named Z-Teca?), but didn’t affect our drinking the next night.

The Long Shot

Georgetown (32/1)
They have many of the key elements that it takes to win the title: disciplined coach, strong defense, and a big man that can take over games and get his own shot in Greg Monroe. Add to it the tough schedule they have played going through the Big East and their non-conference destruction of Duke, and you have a team that is very capable of holding up the trophy in Lucas Oil Stadium in Indianapolis. The key for the Hoyas may be how they finish the season and the seeding they get because while they have some marquee wins like Duke and Villanova, they have some bad losses like South Florida and Rutgers. They lack a consistent threat from the outside, which causes them to have scoring droughts and keeps lesser teams in the game.

The Pick

Ohio State (15/1)
They offer the best value, play strong defense, have a serviceable big man (Dallas Lauderdale), a shooter (Jon Diebler), and the best player in the game in Evan Turner. The biggest chink in their armor is that they don’t have the depth of a team like Kansas. The runner-up for this pick was Michigan State, who has the depth, defense and coach. But the defining factor was Evan Turner is tremendously better than Kalin Lucas when you match up the star players. My other fear about the Buckeyes is that they are pulling a Lindsay Lohan and have peaked a little too early (meaning: right now), so there is a fear that by the time the tourney rolls around, the Buckeyes will have transformed from young, hot Lindsay to the drug-addled, cutting scarred, sun-damaged Lindsay trying to rely on her cleavage (her Evan Turner) to carry her. Wow, I’m rethinking my pick after typing that sentence, as I don’t really want to be betting on Lindsay Lohan. Yet, I’m going to stick with my pick because I see Ohio State more like Gwen Stefani, who we thought peaked as a part of No Doubt, but has actually become stronger and can carry a concert by herself. And while she still has her Evan Turner (her abs) to carry her, the rest of her has come along very nicely.

Weekly Rankings - College Professors

Yesterday’s story about the NYU professor got me thinking about my college professors and since we haven’t had a much to rank in a while, I decided to rank my top 5 college professors during my time at the University of Wisconsin. Whether or not you went to UW, you may have had professors like these gems……..or maybe not. And after looking at the list, what stood out to me is the classes I took more than the professors. How did a Finance major end up in Linguistics, The History of African Music, Puerto Rican History & Nursing 101? I tend to be an optimist, so at least this proves I have memories from college that don’t all include some combination of beer, women and sports.

5. The Watermelon – Linguistics

My roommate Archie & I signed up for linguistics because it met some crazy requirement in order to graduate. We really didn’t care about the origins of language or whatever the class was about……because as you’ll see in a minute, I didn’t complete the class. We settle into our seats in the middle of Bascom Hall among roughly 200 students. We’re slightly punchy because it’s the first day of class to start a new semester and we may or may not have been out drinking the night before. The professor takes the stage and she’s a rather robust woman, wearing what can only be described as a lime green moo-moo dress that also could have doubled as a parachute. Archie doesn’t miss a beat and cracks under his breath, “She looks like a huge watermelon up there.” I absolutely lost it and had to bury my head in my arms to keep from laughing out loud. Every time I looked up, all I could see was a huge watermelon, so I spent the rest of the class with my head down shaking with laughter. I dropped the class the next day.

4. Unknown Professor – Nursing 101

I really have no idea whether this professor was good or bad. As I’m starting my final semester, I get the dreaded call telling me I was one credit short of graduation. I assume one of my roommates is messing with me in a knock off of a Saved By The Bell episode, and proceed to tell them they don’t know what they’re talking about and they should recount them and call me back. They do, and they walk me through how I am actually 1 credit short, and it’s already almost 2 weeks into the semester, so all of the phy ed classes are already full. The only 1 credit class I can find Is Nursing 101. My roommate Diggity assesses the situation as this: “Perfect. Freshmen girls who want to be naughty nurses. I’m signing up with you.” And we both register for the class. I went to the first class to scope the talent and pick up the class agenda for the semester. Turns out it was a jackpot – two short papers and one take home exam. I never returned to the classroom other than to turn in the papers. Oh, and I may or may not have gotten some help on the exam from a friend’s sister who was taking the class seriously.

3. The Dude - History of African Music

Picture in your head the perfect teacher for a class about the African music beginning in the early 1900’s and running up until Tupac and Dr. Dre. Who are you picturing? My thought would be someone that might look like Red Foxx or James Earl Jones. Imagine my surprise when on the first day of class an older white guy who resembled The Dude from The Big Lebowsky begins the lecture. The Dude also showed up for every class wearing a Colorado Avalanche “Starter” jacket. But The Dude knew his music and the class was a phenomenal way to rack some credits just by listening to great music from Marvin Gaye, Michael Jackson, Smokey Robinson, and Tupac. The class was an hour and a half of listening to a song, then listening to The Dude talk about that time in history, then playing another song. I’ve never been more relaxed after a class.

2. Bulent Paker – Finance

Paker was one of the nicest and most caring professors I encountered during college. He was maybe 5’3” and of Indian decent, teaching in a huge 350 student lecture hall with a sliding chalk board system at the front of the room. Due to his lack of height, he would have to jump up and down to fully erase the board during his lecture, which led to some great unintentional comedy (and the opportunity to wager on how many times he would jump during each class). I learned the CAPM (Capital Asset Pricing Model) from him, and if I didn’t know any better, I would think that the only thing you ever needed in finance was the CAPM formula. He was obsessed with it, and he would get so excited that he would stop class and repeat over and over: “Don’t write thees down, just leeesen (listen) and understand.”

1. Bruce Harms – Business Law

This is the guy that most closely resembled the NYU professor from yesterday’s post. Harms was known as a prickly guy with an ego too big for his cubicle which led to extremely difficult exams. I actually thoroughly enjoyed his class and found the cases really interesting. Yet, my favorite moment came after the first exam and he put the distribution of grades on the board: A – 4, AB-10, B – 15, BC-35, C – 30, D – 35, & F-15. (Let’s just say I was not in the top 3 categories) He then proceeds to point to the top 3 categories and explain that these people are in trouble because they will relax and do poorly on the next exam. And then he circles the bottom groups and adds this gem: “These people are in the sweet spot because they will study more for the next exam and pass those people that are currently at the top.” What? I’m sitting there with a C. I do not consider that the sweet spot. No matter what I get on the NEXT test, I’m still sitting here right now with a C on this test, you toolbox.

Tuesday Ramblings

Quick Hits on a rainy Tuesday in the city…..

This would be the definition of getting “owned” by your professor. I don’t care if the professor is a jerk all the time, a typically nice guy who lost it, or a guy who likes to dress like an ice dancer every Friday night. He absolutely dominated this student email where the student thought he was entitled to being rude and disrespectful. Awesome.

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Is there a more classic 80’s jam than “Don’t You Want Me Baby” by the Human League? Swinging through the The Westside Market to grab dinner last night, and the song is blasting over the speakers in the grocery store. Awesome. People throughout the store are mouthing the words and bobbing their heads as they dig through the produce. I go to the grocery store probably 3-4 times a week (when your refrigerator is too small to stock up on food, you just go each day for that night’s dinner), and Westside never disappoints with its music. In the past I’ve heard songs from “Baby Got Back” to “Nuthin’ But A G Thang” to REO Speedwagon’s “Keep On Loving You” while picking up my dinner. It’s always an interesting surprise to see what song will be playing when the after-work crowd comes through to pick up dinner.

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Why did they even bother with all the games leading up to the USA-Canada women’s hockey gold medal game? The US Women’s team has been blowing their opponents away in every game, including a 9-1 thrashing of Sweden in the semi-final. And just to help out my story from yesterday about going out with a women’s hockey player, here’s Kelli Stack. Not the girl I went out with obviously, but proof that not all of the women’s hockey players are bigger and tougher than the men’s team.

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The Chargers released LaDainian Tomlinson yesterday rather than pay him and his eroding skills. The guy is among the best running backs to have played the game. He was a complete player with the ability to make someone miss, stiff arm a guy, or catch a swing pass and turn it into points. While it’s a shame that he can’t stay with the Chargers his entire career, it is the typical path for running backs when they turn that corner from stardom to just a breather for the next running back. It happened to Marcus Allen, Emmitt Smith and Edgerin James. Tomlinson was no longer as effective as he had been and the Chargers have Super Bowl caliber talent, so they can’t afford to blow too much cap space on an aging running back that can’t carry the load anymore. And then there’s this dance video………

Weekend Hangover - Love/Hate

LOVE

- U-S-A! U-S-A! The men’s hockey team upset the Canadian powerhouse last night, which is ironic since today is the 30th anniversary of the Miracle on Ice victory over Russia in the 1980 Olympics. This was nowhere near the level of upset and is still in pool play not a medal round, but it was an extremely entertaining game – especially for a guy like me that does not follow hockey (I have an issue with any sport that calls it’s jerseys “sweaters”). But the best part of a hockey game? The goal horn. Is there anything better than the loud fog horn that blasts after each and every goal in any hockey game? Just awesome.

Since I am not old enough to have any memories of the 1980 games, here is my first memorable hockey introduction. I grew up in Wisconsin, which is hockey crazy, yet despite my cousins playing the sport, I never was really exposed to the game. Fast forward to college, where Wisconsin has a rich hockey tradition. I somehow snag two prime seats at mid-ice for a game and manage to talk this girl who played on the University’s women’s club hockey team to go with me. Now I know what you’re thinking – that she was more interested in the cheerleaders than me – but I don’t think that was really the case. We settle into our seats and she’s attempting to explain the game to me when Dany Heatley (currently playing for Team Canada) scores for the Badgers. The place goes bezerk and that fog horn goes off. I’m into it, though still spinning trying to figure out how people can keep up with the puck. Suddenly the entire crowd starts pointing at the opposing goalie and chanting “Sieve!” - particularly this 75 year old grandmother sitting next to us who is screaming with extreme passion! That’s when I knew that hockey was something that must be in your blood and you either have it or you don’t. I didn’t. Grandma Sieve defintely did.

- NBC Hockey Announcer Doc Emrick is outstanding. He combines the emotions and pace of Gus Johnson, the intelligence of Jay Bilas and the personality of Steve Lavin all into one. There were times during the game where I wasn’t fully paying attention but simply the tone and pace of his voice made me focus back on the game.

- I have generally poo-poo’d all of the hype around John Wall at Kentucky this season. Without having seen him play very much, I tended to believe that that he was a very talented guy, lightning quick point guard with a solid shot, but he was immature and probably quite as good as advertised. Well, I’m starting to come around. Despite having an off shooting night, he was able to come up with a game saving blocked shot and knock down crucial free throws as Kentucky took down Vanderbilt on Saturday night. I still think Wall is not as polished as Derrick Rose was during his one year in college, and I think DeMarcus Cousins might be the best freshman on Kentucky this year, but I’m starting to believe that he will be a major contributor in the NBA next season.

- I am a big fan of match play golf relative to the low-score method that is used in most pro tournaments. There’s just something to going head to head for the 18 holes against the guy you’re battling and not having to worry about checking the scoreboard to see who is having a good round. It just brings a different attitude to the course – kind of like on The Bachelor when they make all the women live in the same house with no access to television or phones and a fully stocked liquor cabinet. Then we act surprised when the claws come out and the girls are not quite as they appear on the show………like this season’s villain, Vienna.

HATE

- Boner has gone missing!! Who knew that this would be the only time it would “family friendly” to type those words? Andrew Koenig, the guy who played Richard “Boner” Stabone on the 80’s sitcom Growing Pains went missing at the Olympics this weekend. He was supposed to return to LA and didn’t show up for his flight. Hard to believe that guy is 42 years old now, and another sad story of a childhood actor struggling when their career matures.

- Enough with the analyzing of Tiger’s speech last week. To no one’s surprise, there are people crying for more from him and others who think he nailed the apology. Obviously, those that profit from Tiger (like ESPN & the PGA) think he was great. Those that profit from continued drama (like the rag mags) think he was too staged and robotic. Who cares? Let the dude put his life back together.

- I have had enough of Bode Miller. I get that the guy is the “most decorated Olympic skiier” in US history – which is kind of like being the tallest midget. The guy can ski faster than anyone because he has no fear, which is impressive. But he is obvlivious to the honor of being an Olympian, and has no pride in skiing for his country. Listen to some of the past medal winners in the US or even some of the current winners – Brian Boitano, Dorothy Hamil, Lindsey Vonn or even Shaun White – they all speak about the pride and pressure they felt to win for their country. Not Bode – he measures success not by winning or posting a good time, but by the fun he has with a twelver in the hot tub. In his spoiled, deuchebag world, this is just another week partying on the slopes. He’s the John Mayer of skiing – he has one great talent, but is a complete asshat when he’s not doing that one talent.

- While Major League Baseball fans whine about the lack of a salary cap in baseball, the system that is currently in place in the NBA doesn’t seem to be working either. What kind of system rewards a team for blowing up a team for 2-3 years with no intentions of winning in hopes of clearing enough salary cap space to sign two super stars? That’s been the program the Knicks have been on for the past 3 years. Not a program of rebuilding with young stars that may take some years to develop. (That is the plan the Blazers and Thunder have used successfully) The Knicks have taken on terribly overpaid players with expiring contracts and have freed up the cap space to sign two of the big free agents from this year’s bumper crop of available stars.

Can they convince LeBron James and Dwyane Wade to both come to New York and rule Gotham as Batman & Batman? Tracy McGrady would play Robin to the two of them, and let’s not kid ourselves – a team of those 3 would easily be among the favorites to win the title. Part of me wants to see it happen just for the intrigue of it, but the rest of me doesn’t want to reward a franchise for being awful and taking money from their season ticket holders who were paying good money for an intentionally suboptimal product.

Degenerate Friday - Tiger & Olympic Hockey

I’m not going to lie, without football it is hard to find something to gamble on each and every week. But we are dedicated to find some sweet action that we can throw cash at and make your bookie wonder where you come up with these bets. That is, if gambling were legal.

Before we get to this week’s locks, a quick story. This morning I crawled my happy arse out of bed for a 6:30 spinning class with the wife. Maybe it was to sweat out the scotch from last night or maybe I’m just an idiot. Either way, I settle in on the bike and start pedaling to warm up when I’m struck by the words on the shirt on the girl in front of me. On the back of the shirt it has the following lines:

Phucket Beach, Thailand

2001: Bomb Threat
2002: Bird Flu
2003: Earthquake
2004: Tsunami

What’s Next?!?!

And then to top it off, on the front of the shirt was “Still Alive” in huge letters. First, that’s not the type of thing that I want to be thinking about at the crack of dawn. Good Morning – remember all the terrible stuff that has killed a bunch of people in the past 10 years? Great, now pedal your arse off to the beat of the music. Second, was she taunting all the people that weren’t “still alive” from all of those disasters? Was she taunting Mother Nature - "what else you got, bitch?"

By the way, in addition to having a beach called Phucket, which sounds like, well…..you know. Thailand also has a Monkey Beach that has a ton of monkeys that hang out on the beach. How is this not the greatest place on earth? In college I always wanted a pet monkey that we could train to get us beer and make pizzas. The debate was always what would be better – a monkey or a midget. Midgets don’t throw their own poop (usually), which was a huge plus for them. The fact that you can’t own another human was always the downside. Such a strange way to start out a day that is only going to get more strange once Tiger makes his 5 minute speech.

Speaking of Tiger, that’s where we find one of our chances to gamble. I have to hurry to get this posted before the show begins, but here is the link to the odds on what he will say first. That’s a tougher bet than betting on how many times Tiger will say “sorry” according to the same site. For the phrase he will say first, it’s hard not to see him opening the speech by thanking everyone for being there, then leading off with an apology. The payday on “I’m sorry” is only 6/4, so I’d save the money. As for the number of times he says he is sorry? I’m thinking that during a 5 minute speech, he’s going to say “sorry” four times – to his wife, his fans, the PGA tour and his sponsors. That’s a nice 5/1 payday.

A couple quick notes on the entire situation of the press conference. I think the biggest thing we’re learning from the whole charade is that Tiger remains as stubborn and controling as ever, which makes you wonder if he’s learned anything. Christine Brennan of the USA Today blasts Tiger for his control over the speech. Coming out for a speech – it is not a press conference if he is not taking any questions and all of the press is not welcome - in an ultracontrolled situation reeks of the old Tiger style of privacy. I’m not saying it’s wrong, because like I said before, Tiger doesn’t owe me or you an apology. He owes an apology to his wife and his sponsors, and not one that needs to be made in public.

More interesting than what he says, is who is going to be there. I have heard that Elin is unlikely to attend, but that Michael Jordan will be there. Again, how is that helping your image? A guy with a known gambling problem, and one of the all-time womanizers whose wife divorced him over his past “transgressions” and the guy who got up at his own Hall of Fame speech and blasted everything and everyone within range. Yes, he was the greatest basketball player ever to lace up the sneaks, but as a character witness? Why MJ? Was Rachel Uchitel unavailable to stand next to him? As I’m typing this, I just heard that MJ may not be there or he may not be out in the room publicly for the speech. That’s disappointing from an entertainment side, but it could open up a seat at the table for Uchitel……..or the Perkins waitress.

Let’s just move on……..

I know I’ve mentioned and linked to my thoughts on the Olympics before, but I do have to admit to watching a decent amount of the games. I’ve watched some hockey, some skiing and some curling. The US curling teams, both men and women, have been awful and are a combined 0-6. The sport is semi-intriguing because of the strategy involved, and while I have never done it and assume it is harder than it looks, it definitely looks like a sport you could drink while playing. Somewhat similar to playing corn hole – a game that is as Cincinnati as Skyline Chili – but has blown up across the country in the past few years.

Another gambling option this weekend is the men’s hockey game on Sunday night between the US & Canada. Canada seems to be the favorite for the gold medal but the US team is playing well and would like nothing better than to beat their neighbors to the north. I’m not going to taunt the Canadians because I don’t want to get their media fired up like they did with the British for taking shots at the repeated problems with the Olympics thus far. I mean, seriously Canada. Just because someone said you have struggled with the games (memo: you have!!), doesn’t mean you have to bring up their lack of stamina in the sack. Seems more lowbrow than a porn star talking about getting preggers from Tiger twice knowing that he won’t dispute it.

So the pick is the U-S-A. Go stars & stripes. I have to believe the Canadian Mounties will have problems keeping their horses upright on the ice.

Quick Hits before the NBA Trade Deadline

The Raiders signed Sebastian Janikowski to a ridiculous contract and now have the league’s highest paid kicker and punter on a team that has 10 total wins the past two years. If Al Davis is so into legs, why doesn’t he just hire Stacey Kiebler? On a serious note, at what point does the league have to step in and take control away from Davis, who continues to make head-scratching decisions with the once proud franchise?

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It is being reported that the Bucks have agreed to a trade with the Bulls for guard John Salmons to help fill the void after the Michael Redd knee injury. It seems like a decent trade for the Bucks to get a guard that can score while only giving up expiring contracts. I don’t know much about Salmons, but all of the media is clinging to his big numbers in the playoffs against the Celtics last year as the reason this is a good trade. The question I have is this: Are the Bucks making trades that will get them to .500 and secure them a low seed in the playoffs where they will be destroyed by the elite teams in the east like Cleveland, Orlando, Boston or Atlanta? Does that really feel like a successful season? I guess since their first playoff appearance since 2006 is progress, right?

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Maybe Danny Ferry read my article about Amare Stoudemire. Or probably not. Yet the Cavs decided to make a move for Antwan Jamison to fill their void at power forward. I think it is a much better trade for the Cavs, as Jamison can shoot from the outside, which means he can pick and roll with LeBron and doesn’t clog up the lane for Shaq. The Cavs are still not as deep as the Lakers, but they have distanced themselves even further from the Orlando Magic and the aging Celtics. Keep in mind that the title contenders have athletic shooting power forwards in Rashard Lewis (Orlando), Garnett/Rasheed Wallace (Celtics) and Lamar Odom (Lakers), and now the Cavs have their own guy to match up with those guys.

Also, keep in mind that even though the Cavs traded the contract of Zydrunas Illgauskas, but Big Z will likely never leave his house in Cleveland. The Wizards will buy him out, and 30 days laterhe will resign with the Cavs.

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Tiger is going to make a speech on Friday morning. It’s going to be more scripted than the fake phone call from Ali on The Bachelor. He’s only allowing a select group of reporters, friends and family into the room. It’s expected to be 5-7 minutes in length and he won’t take any questions. This is going to be more anticlimatic than the Yankees resigning Derek Jeter after his contract expires.

He’s going to apologize, say that he was addicted, and yadda, yadda, yadda. When is he going to return to golfing? That’s all that anyone really cares about at this point – or at least that’s all they should care about. He’s the one that has to handle his personal life and all the struggles with rebuilding the trust in his marriage, so he doesn’t need to apologize to me. Just let me know when we can expect to see him storming the course in his Sunday red, cursing over missed shots and banging his clubs around.

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Has anyone else seen this Barbasol commercial? I didn’t even know Barbasol was still around for the past 20 years. But there is so much unintentional comedy in this commercial and the jingle is so catchy, it will be in your head the rest of the day – “Close Shave America, Close Shave Barbasol!”

My favorite parts – at the 13 second mark, when he scratches his face because that beard is really getting to him. Dude – you drive a truck full of shaving cream, and you couldn’t get anything to shave with when you stopped at a truck stop? And at the 22 second mark, his wife is really excited he’s home, yet she won’t even come see him until he shaves. Add to that my wife’s comment when watching the commercial “That guy looked a ton better before he shaved.” But Close Shave, America. Close Shave Barbasol!!

Tuesday Rambling - Amare Stoudemire

The NBA trading deadline is this Thursday afternoon and typically the deadline results in a few minor trades, and a few trades of guys that retired 3 years ago but resign for an insane salary and allow themselves to be traded to make the salaries involved work (see Keith Van Horn and potentially Wally Szerbiak this year). While the Knicks appear to be excited about getting the corpse of Tracy McGrady, the only real big name that may be traded is Amare Stoudemire of the Phoenix Suns. There are teams that want Stoudemire, teams that the Suns want to trade him to, and teams where Stoudemire would like to be traded. Is he really worth it? And how will it work out with the likeliest team to get him?

The Suns would like to trade Stoudemire to Philadelphia for Andre Iguodala but the 76ers have no plans to make that deal. Amare would like to be traded to Miami, where he keeps an off-season home. Yet the Suns are not interested in Michael Beasley, which is the core of the offer the Heat are making. The Suns are in alignment with my thoughts on Beasley that he is not the type of player you want to build a franchise around. Beasley is like Nicole Eggert from her days on Charles in Charge – good enough to draw some attention as a side character or among other stars (she was on Baywatch with Pam Anderson), but could never carry a show by herself. The Golden State Warriors are trying to get involved by offering Corey Magette, but it appears that their best shot is to be the third team involved in a deal. The most likely landing spot for Stoudemire appears to be Cleveland, which has offered young JJ Hickson and the corpse of Zdrunas Illgauskas. (Random side note – I rode an elevator with Big Z in a hotel in Boston before opening night of the 2008-09 season. I asked if he was ready for the season and he grunted and said “It’s such a long and dragging season – I’m already looking forward to the all-star break.”)

So why would Cleveland give up the young and improving Hickson to get Amare, possibly without a contract extension? I’m not really sure. I have to make the disclaimer that I have not watched a complete Suns game in years. I don’t really understand the appeal of Amare. He is a great athlete and a ferocious dunker. But does that make him a great basketball player? Does that make him worthy of a max contract? He has impressive stats – 21.2ppg and 8.6 rpg this season, which is close to his career averages. Then again, Megan Fox has impressive stats, but it all falls apart when she has to act or open her mouth. Amare shoots nearly 55% from the field and averages over a block a game. Yet watching the highlight package that ESPN shows when they discuss the trade rumors, every single shot is either a dunk or a layup crashing to the rim off a great pass from Steve Nash. John Hollinger of ESPN has in his scouting report that he is a good outside shooter, yet quotes his shooting percentage at only 46% on jump shots. I also did a youtube search for Amare highlights and everyone only focuses on his dunks. Granted, those are the plays that tend to make highlight reels, but if you do a search for Barkley highlights or Malone highlights, you will see some jumpers, some fadeaways, and some lay-ups.

The other question is how effective Amare will be when he’s not playing with the incredible passing of a Hall of Fame point guard in Steve Nash. Getting passes from a shot-happy point guard like Mo Williams will not lead for nearly as many reckless crashes to the rim. Add to that the concern of Amare playing with Shaq, because that did not work very well during the 2008-09 season in Phoenix, when Amare’s numbers were down nearly 4 points and a rebound a game. If Amare was such a foundation for a team, wouldn't the Suns be interested in signing him to an extension rather than trading him?

At the end of the day, why are the Cavs so interested in a guy that is not a complete player, who needs a new contract and will be playing in a system not the most conducive to his talents? Because LeBron said so. King James is interested in playing with Amare and the Cavs are willing to do any and everything to try and keep him happy enough to resign with the Cavs this summer.

formspring.me

Trent: About 8 years ago, you gave a tutorial on the winter olympic sport of curling. Can we get a "SWEEP!" "SWEEEEP!"

I barely remember what I did last week, much less 8 years ago. But if I was curling, it was likely after a spirited game of beer pong.

Ask me anything

Weekend Hangover - All-Star Weekend

A quick version of Love/Hate today for the President’s Day holiday. Most people have the day off, unless your company doesn’t like presidents?

Love

- Random notes from flying back from Milwaukee after helping my sister move:

o On most flights, that couple moments as the plane taxis out to the runway are typically quiet with everyone wrestling to own the arm rest and getting into their newspapers/books/etc. Not on flights coming out of Milwaukee. The people are all so friendly, asking everyone where they’re from, where they’re headed and just generally the friendliest people on earth. “Eh, Marge! Dis guy is from da north side a da city just like yer nephew, Daryl.”

o Only on flights out of Milwaukee do you have the overwhelming smell of pizza and cheeseburgers dominating the flight…..at 10:15 in the morning. And that’s of course before those Midwest Airlines chocolate chip cookies get delivered.

- I thoroughly enjoy a good beat down of Tom Crean, whether he was the coach at Marquette or now that he’s running the Indiana program into the ground. In addition to being an insufferable arrogant prick, I have to ask, Tommy – is there a tanning bed in your office? I just came back from the Midwest and let me tell you, there is no one there as tan as you. The only people close are those that just came back from Arizona, and since you supposedly work 18 hour days as the coach, when do you have time to sit in the sun and work on your tan? I have met Tommy Tan on multiple occasions and heard him give a bunch of motivational speeches. The guy just likes to hear himself talk and just about throws both arms out of socket patting himself on the back while trying to motivate his audience. So it is with great delight to watch TT take regular beat downs outside of the comforts of the pathetic Conference-USA.

- Speaking of Tom Crean, congrats to his meal ticket, Dwayne Wade on his All-Star MVP award last night. And Nate Robinson won the dunk contest over some guy that I guarantee no one other than his mother and his crew knew was even in the league. It seemed like the biggest story from the All-Star weekend was the stadium and the fact that over 100,000 watched the game live at the Jerry-Dome. Although most of them just had to watch it on the jumbo screen where the pictures of the players were actually larger than the real-life version that was playing below the screen.

Hate

- Valentine’s Day in New York. Even the flower places jack up the price on Valentine’s Day in New York. There are very few things that are cheaper in New York than anywhere else, but the two important ones are flowers and dry cleaning. There are so many little places selling flowers and offering dry cleaning (and yes, some of those places are one in the same) that it’s actually very cheap and most places will pick up and deliver for free. However, come Valentine’s Day, those same flowers I was getting for $10 are now jacked to $30. Just another reason why I am a firm believer in buying flowers at random for your wife/girlfriend/girl that you drunkenly make out with every Friday night dancing on the tables so that you’re off the hook for flowers on cheesey holidays. And don’t get me started on the prefix menus at every restaurant forcing you to get 4 or 5 courses each. First, I don’t need that much food because I don’t want to be a deuce (again). Second, your wife/girlfriend/drunken hookup is not going to want to be seen plowing through all those courses either, so she’s going to waste the food, and it’s a waste of your cash that you could be saving towards that 55” flatscreen television.

- When did NBC become the Lifetime network for women? I’ve already covered my lack of interest in the Olympics, but then again, the sports menu is fairly limited this time of year, so I will be checking it out ocassionally. Of course there are only a few sports I am willing to watch, starting with the hockey. Yet NBC has decided to show ice dancing instead of the hockey game between the USA and Canada. Really?!?! Really?!?!?! Honestly?!?!? No S#it!?!?! Who is in charge of their programming, Oprah? And right after ice dancing, they will be showing an after school special “Jenny Eat Something” or “He Beats Me Because He Loves Me”.

- Let me see if I have this straight, the Daytona 500 is the “Super Bowl of Racing” for NASCAR, right? What other sport do you know of that starts it’s season with the Super Bowl? Then again, I guess it’s fitting for a sport where the most exciting parts of the race are the pit stops and crashes. Otherwise it’s just watching people make left turns over and over again.

Degenerate Friday - NBA Dunk Contest?

Now that the football season has officially ended, Degenerate Friday needs to find other things to bet on. And as I covered a few weeks ago, the way to make money in college basketball is on the smaller conferences with less available data. I’m not going to get into discussing those games because let’s face it, as soon as I start mentioning the Ivy League, I start to get sleepy, so I’m sure you do as well.

I was boarding a flight to Milwaukee to help my sister move (at least it’s my sister and not Keith Hernandez asking me to move) and Devin Harris of the New Jersey Nets was on my flight. We chatted very briefly while we were boarding the plane, asked him how his injuries were (he’s sore but feeling pretty good), asked if he was headed home to see his family (a quick stop before going to Orlando for some sun over the All-Star break), and I wished him well for the rest of the season. While he’s still thin, he definitely has bulked up some since his days at the Kohl Center in Madison.

It got me thinking about the All-Star break, and what used to be the greatest night of the NBA season – All-Star Saturday Night – when all the best talent in the league would compete in the 3-point shoot out and the dunk contest. I remember hanging out at my buddy Sally’s (a guy – nicknamed Sally as a mocking of his manhood. He calls my Nancy) parents house eating pizza, listening to his dad pass gas and watching the festivities. Those were the days where the biggest stars – Larry Bird, Michael Jordan, Dominique Wilkins, etc. – competed in the events. And while the dunks may not have been quite as high-flying back then, they were extremely majestic and powerful. Check out these Jordan highlights:

Being that we have to bet on something over the weekend, let’s take a look at the contestants in this year’s competition and where we should bet. Below are the odds I could find from bodog.com:

Dwight Howard (Orlando): 20-31Rudy Fernandez (Portland): 13-4J.R. Smith (Denver): 7-2Nate Robinson (N.Y. Knicks): 19-4

The biggest factor to consider for this year’s competition is that part of the judging will be done via text message. That has a huge benefit for Rudy Fernandez who may secure all of the European text votes. Spaniards are big on hoops and definitely would take some pride in having one of their own bring home a dunk crown. It would also continue to improve the perception of the foreign-born players as more than just finese jumpshooters.

Dwight Howard is the overwhelming favorite with his Superman persona and big smile to sway the audience. While his athleticism is impressive, for me, the fact that he’s a 7-footer just kind of diminishes all of his dunks. He’s already closer to the rim than any of us, so he should be able to throw down nasty dunks, right? So then I should probably go with Nate Robinson as the shortest contestant at somewhere around 5’9”, right? While I like the “Krypto-Nate” routine that he pulled, I can’t see him pulling enough of the text votes, particularly from Europe to come away with the win.

J.R. Smith has the ability to win this contest, as he has the perfect combination of insane hops, size to make the aerial displays look impressive, and craziness to try any dunk. The reason he won’t win? Who knows who J.R. Smith is outside of Denver? No one. There will be very, very few overseas texts voting for the tattoo’d guy who looks more like the black guy on Scrubs than he does an NBA player. He also strikes me as the guy that will try to do something so insane that he misses and gets eliminated because he keeps missing.

So where do we bet? I think the best value lies with Rudy Fernandez. At 13-4 odds, it’s a decent pay day on a guy who can throw down and has European support. It also helps the NBA increase its global presence by being able to promote another of its foreign-born players as an up-and-coming star on an up-and-coming team in Portland. Then again, others that have won the contest include JR Rider, Desmond Mason and Brent Barry. Being dunk champ didn’t exactly boost their careers.

All that said, if Dominique Wilkins, Shawn Kemp (before he pulled a Kirstie Alley) or Kenny “Sky” Walker entered this year’s competition, I’d bet on them.

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Have you ever heard the phrase “It’s better to keep your mouth shut and be thought an idiot than to open your mouth and remove all doubt”? Pretty sure John Mayer should have that tattoo’d on both of his hands, Sarah Palin-style, as a constant reminder. In one interview with Playboy he proved beyond a doubt that some long, wavy hair and the ability to play the guitar are all it takes to get laid by some of the hottest women in Hollywood. He managed to call his junk racist, dromb an “n-bomb” and complement Jessica Simpson’s ability in the sack.

He then backpedaled faster than Deion Sanders in his prime, arguing that he should have known that he wouldn’t be able to “intellectualize” his use of such a derogatory word. John, you may have a way with words with bimbos, but you did a hell of a job of making an ass of yourself. It doesn’t even matter what your intentions were – you just have to be smarter than that to know that it’s a lightning rod that you don’t want to be anywhere near.

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Last add: Yesterday was the 20-year anniversary of Mike Tyson getting knocked by Buster Douglas in Tokyo. I think sometimes it’s hard for those that are too young to have been around when Tyson was the most feared man in the world. Now he’s only known as this complete lunatic who does a great karaoke of Phil Collins and has a tattoo on his face. Back in the day he was among the biggest stars in the entire world and opponents were generally scared out of their minds before the fight would even begin. Just watch the highlights

If the Olympics Start and No One Notices.......

I heard that the Olympics are starting this weekend. Does anyone care? Probably not. The reason the Olympics are not interesting doesn’t even involve the fact that they are in Canada or that they are currently trucking in snow because of the unseasonably warm weather in Vancouver. As I’ve stated multiple times here before, I am not a fan of Canada (I may or may not have used the phrase “Canada is proof that Indians f#$ked buffalo”), yet Vancouver is one of the most scenic places I have ever been. The mountains, the fresh air, the waterfront and beautiful trails and parks. A great place for a fall getaway weekend to do some biking, hiking or other outdoor activities. So Vancouver is not the problem with the Olympics…….it’s the Olympics that are the problem.

National Pride

Really? We’re supposed to be worried about whether our eskimos are better than those of Germany or Switzerland or China. Why does it matter? For a country like Finland, getting a couple medals might be the highlight of the decade for the country. Or perhaps if someone from Greece wins a medal people will forget for a second that the country is on the verge of complete financial ruin and is more financially strapped than Heidi Montag (she’s considering another Playboy shoot to pay for all of her plastic surgery). The overall medal count doesn’t matter because there are so many random sports where many of the countries don’t even compete. How is it fair to compare overall medals when not every country is in every event? It’s that old economic argument of whether you’re better off focusing only on the events you are strong in and bartering for the skills where you are not as strong, or try to be middle of the road in all skills.

A Star Every 4 Years

The reason the major sports in the US have such a tremendous following is that fans can make a connection with the stars of their sports, even if they don’t play for their home team. Their faces are all over the newspapers, internet and television over and over each season. With the Olympics, by the time the fans make a connection with one of the Olympic stars, the games are over and we won’t see them for another 4 years. Remember that Apollo Ohno guy? Is he still around? Or Picabo Street? Or from the summer games, Misty May? Amanda Beard even posed for Playboy to try and extend her fame window. At the end of the day, it’s very difficult for an athlete to stay at the absolute pinacle of their talent for more than 5 to 6 years, meaning they are lucky if they get to participate in two Olympics. By the time they make themselves a star, they are gone and no one will remember them.

The Events

Not the least of the issues are the events of the Olympics themselves. There are so many events and many of them are not viewer friendly. There are 15 sports with 86 individual events at the 2010 Olympics. That includes ice dancing, the biathlon (skiing and shooting), cross-country skiing and curling. While curling has grown in popularity because it is a sport you can do drunk, it’s hard to believe that someone can focus their efforts to become an Olympic curler. Again, when you’r e looking at the total medal counts during the Olympics, remember that the totals include some of those medals were given out for the luge, the skelton and again, ice dancing.

And if the US ever feels like it can’t compete with the rest of the world in the current events out there, we can continue to strong-arm the committee into moving X-games that the US invented not long ago into the Olympics, like snowboarding. Obviously the Chinese or the Norwegians cannot compete with Carrot Top flying off jumps on a skateboard without wheels.

Overractions!

Chill out people. Seriously. Everyone and everything today is not the best or the worst. And things that happen in one game do not outweight an entire career. It reminds me of this scene from Austin Powers:


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Peyton Manning’s legacy has not been permanently altered because of the Super Bowl. Yes, it does halt the “greatest of all-time” talk, but he’s still among the best to ever play the game. Dan Shaughnessy (the d-bag writer for the Boston Globe with a face for newspaper) decided before the Super Bowl that Manning was better than Tom Brady. Then after the game he completely flopped to the other side. Way to stick to your guns Dan. The only thing that changes after the loss? He’ll never have the perfect Super Bowl record that Joe Montana and Terry Bradshaw have. He’s still on pace to set every passing record (other than interceptions) that Favre currently holds. He still has more MVP awards than anyone in the history of the game. He has more titles than Marino, Tarkenton and Jim Kelly combined, and the same amount as Favre. And he’s now set himself up to potentially have a great “Eff You” season of redemption next year.

So while the 2004 Peyton showed up for one big game, let’s relax on the “Peyton can’t win the big game” talk. Let’s keep in mind the fact that he inspired two of the riskiest and “on paper dumbest” decisions by opponents during this season with the sole goal of those decisions to keep the ball out of his hands. 3-time Super Bowl Champion Bill Belichick went for that fateful 4th down to play keep away from Manning. And in the biggest game of his life, Sean Payton tried an onside kick (the first ever not during the fourth quarter of a Super Bowl) with the same goal – to keep Manning off the field. Just because Marissa Miller did not make the cover of the swimsuit issue does not mean she’s not bringing the heat.

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Today another nasty snow storm has hit the east coast (and one also hit the midwest yesterday). If you just relied on the news coverage around here for the past 48 hours, you would have thought the world was going to end. The news casters were crying about how epic this storm was going to be and how everything was going to be a disaster. Listen, it’s the second big storm to hit Manhattan this year, and the second storm to hit the DC area in two weeks. It’s February – the heart of winter. Why are we surprised by snow storms? Why does the news act like the city has no idea how to handle the snow? This isn’t California or Texas. It’s the Northeast, the same place where they coined the term “N’oreaster” to describe the storms that come up the coast. So settle down and go grab a shovel. I’m going to go look for jobs in San Diego….or bartending in the Virgin Islands.

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The Milwaukee Brewers are going to build a statue of Proud to Be Yer Bud Selig to put next to Robin Yount and Hank Aaron outside of Miller Park. I have an idea for the pose they should use!! (see photo) I’m not sure there is a more polarizing figure in baseball. On the positive side of the ledger, he brought the Brewers to Milwaukee, kept them there, and brought in the wild card and interleague play. On the negative side, he forced out Faye Vincent, keeps Pete Rose out of the Hall of Fame, and while other sports were implementing salary caps and revenue sharing he allowed teams to spend 6-7 times more than other teams ensuring parity will never be a factor in baseball. And don’t forget the whole charade where he supposedly passed power of the Brewers over to his daughter while he was the “acting” commissioner. And the tremendously poor results by the team during his tenure. Once he finally sold the team to someone with deeper pockets, the team found some success and has a solid young base to compete in the future.

Are we overreacting to build the guy a statue? Especially before we build one for Paul Molitor? Molitor and Yount were the soul of the franchise for almost 15 years before Sal Bando (a Selig guy) ran him out of town to Toronto where he won his title and his World Series MVP. Molitor is in the baseball Hall of Fame as a Brewer and he doesn’t have a statue? Selig might be the Kristin Cavallari of baseball – some people love her, some people hate her, but very few people are on the fence. And I’m guessing Orange County has no intentions of building a statue of Kristin. And the latest rumor has Kristin dating Mark Sanchez now and if he had been able to beat the Colts, there’s a pretty good chance Jersey would have built a statue of the former SC quarterback.

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And finally, one story where it might be right to overreact: the NJ Nets. They are 4-47. Four wins in 51 games. You would think with playing a team on a back-to-back night, or at the end of a roadtrip, or a team that was out to late at the Hustler Club in Manhattan the night before the Nets would be able to do better than winning less than once every ten games. I was part of a high school team that went 2-19, so I feel their pain. And like the Nets, while there was a talent gap between us and every other team, a big part of the problem was the coaching staff (proven by the fact that we had a new coach the following year and went 12-9). The Nets coaching staff has been a disaster, as they fired Lawrence Frank early in the year and made Kiki Vandeweghe the coach, despite him never having a coaching gig prior to the Nets. To bridge the gap, they brought in veteran coach Del Harris to mentor Kiki on the job. That went so well that Harris quit about a month and a half into the gig.

The NBA record for futility was 9 wins by the Philadelphia 76ers in 1972-73. That team actually started 4-47 as well, at which point they fired their coach, Roy Rubin, and replaced him with Kevin Loughery. I guess it was an improvement as Loughery went 5-26. Those five wins came in a 7 game stretch, before losing their final 11 games of the season. That’s a painful record that the Nets are chasing. Get fired up Brooklyn – these are your Nets in 2012!!!

Super Bowl Weekend Hangover - Love/Hate

LOVE

- Sean Payton, Drew Brees and Gregg Williams deserve every bit of praise they get after this game. The Saints won the game by staying aggressive, playing with nothing to lose and taking it to the Colts over and over again. They played like the team that wanted it more and for that they deserve credit.

Payton almost made himself the goat with a poor decision to go for it on 4th down trailing 10-3 late in the first half. Thankfully for him the Colts went ultraconservative (more on that below) and gave the Saints a chance to put points on the board and get momentum before the half. Yet Payton redeemed himself with an amazing onside kick call. The thing I liked about it was that Payton is known as an aggressive players coach and he stayed true to his colors on the biggest stage he has ever coached on.

Brees and the offense got off to a slow start but his stats by the end of the game were incredibly impressive, going 32-39 including 29 of his last 32. He was completely in command during the game, moving around in the pocket to get extra time and finding the right receivers at the right time. If you want a good article about Brees and how he has always been an ultracompetitive, great athlete despite not having the ultimate size to be a pro athlete, check out this article from Saturday’s NY Times.

Gregg Williams was masterful against Manning and the Colts offense. That ended an impressive run by the Saints by beating 5 Super Bowl winning quarterbacks during one season, culminating in a string of Kurt Warner, Brett Favre and Peyton Manning. While normally this would vault Williams into contention for some head coaching positions, his past record coaching Buffalo (17-31) means he is probably best suited to just focus on being a defensive coordinator.

- Commercials :

While the commercials overall seem to get weaker every year, there were a few highlights. I always enjoy the E-Trade commercials with the baby. Loved the jealous girlfriend asking if “that milk-aholic Lindsey was over” – awesome. The Google commercial was the most intelligent commercial where they basically slammed an entire romantic comedy movie into a 30 second commercial all using Google searches. So much so that the girls made us go for an immediate replay. Also really loved the Jim Nantz commercial, particularly when he dropped the “How about No?” line on the guy. Although I don’t remember what the commercial was for – Dove for Men maybe?

Yet the highlight of the commercials for me was the dialogue among the group I was watching the game with during a local commercial in the second half for the NY lottery. The commercial shows an adult jumping into a huge pile of the play balls like at Chuck E. Cheese, which led to most everyone reacting with disgust because of the perception that kids like to pee in the balls. When one of the girls asked why, we guessed that it was because the kids were half buried, no one’s really looking and they’re little kids. To which she responded with perfect timing “Well it’s not like I pee under my desk because no one’s looking!” Great point. This may or may not have been the brandy talking, as we had easily polished off the bottle making brandy old fashioneds.

- The coverage from CBS – I didn’t see any shots of Kim Kardashian (did I miss it?) and minimal shots of the Manning family. They kept it a very clean telecast with a focus on a football game that was very cleanly played (minimal penalties) and dramatic, though not as high scoring as many (myself included) predicted. Can someone please get musicians under 50( or 70?) for the halftime show in the next few years. The music of The Who is fine, just not during halftime of the Super Bowl. I mean, did they keep their walkers and defibrilators next to the stage during the show? They had their “farewell” tour 30 years ago!! I understand they need to keep it safe since the Janet Jackson episode, but wouldn’t Kenny Chesney be safe? Wouldn’t Carrie Underwood be safe? (at least she got the National Anthem) Jay-Z? Beyonce? Alicia Keyes? There are quite a few options for musicians that don’t have to go backstage after the show and toast a nice glass of Metamucil.

- Was there any more of a sure thing than this year's Hall of Fame class including Jerry Rice and Emmitt Smith? Other than betting on Carrie Underwood looking impressive to sing the National Anthem, it was the safest bet you could possibly make this weekend (as evidenced by my incorrect pick on the game and the over). And while Emmitt had a horrendous run attempting to make it as an ESPN commentator, he gave a great interview talking about his father telling him that he had lived both of their dreams during his life. That was pretty cool.

On a somewhat related topic that probably belongs under the "hate" category, did anyone have a worse week/weekend than the NFL Network? Michael Irvin gets accused of sexual assault in a civil suit. Warren Sapp gets arrested for domestic abuse on his girlfriend. Both are NFL Network contributors. Ouch.

HATE

- Didn’t like the Snickers/Betty White commercial. I thought it was way overrated and not that funny. Yes, it was somewhat comical that Betty White got tackled in the mud. But then taking a bite of a Snickers bar turned the guy back into a wimpy looking toolbox. So let me make sure I have the commercial right – if you don’t eat Snickers, you are Betty White. If you do eat Snickers, you’re a nerdy looking wimp? I don’t really like my options, so I’m going to pass on the Snickers and maybe build a house out of Bud Light. Probably not the message the people at Snickers were looking for.

And last add on commercials – do you really think Brett Favre is driving a Hyundai? Once again proving it’s about the money for him, he does an add with Hyundai when I can’t see him behind the wheel of anything that’s not an Escalade, pick up truck or SUV. And didn’t Sears already exploit the whole indecisiveness in a commercial?

- Are the Colts the Atlanta Braves of the NFL? The Braves won countless consecutive division titles and multiple World Series appearances during the 90’s. They had the best pitching staff in baseball with John Smoltz, Tom Glavine, Greg Maddux and others including Steve Avery. Yet they only have one World Championship, which came in 1995. The Colts have won the most games of any team in the NFL during the decade and have won their division almost every year. They also have the most prolific passer in the game in Peyton Manning. And after all of that, they only have one title and Peyton Manning is 9-9 in the playoffs. I’m too lazy to look up the actual numbers, but I would guess more than half of those games have been at home or as favorites because of their strong regular seasons.

- Enough with the whole “winning a Super Bowl saves the city” story. Honestly, winning a Super Bowl does not rebuild the homes in the Lower Ninth Ward. I get that they love their Saints and this gives them a sense of pride. Yet when the party ends in a week or two, they still have to go back to the neighborhood where half the houses are still boarded up. I guess at least they’ll be standing in the wreckage with a smile on their face?

- How did 2004 Peyton Manning somehow take over Peyton 2009’s body and play the Super Bowl? Calling 3 running plays near the end of the half, locking in good field position for the Saints and allowing them to get a FG to make up for the momentum they lost when failing on 4th down the previous possession? He suddenly went from the robotic guy with the cold, calculating stare knowing he was sizing up and dissecting the other team to the unsure, indecisive guy that couldn’t beat the Patriots.

- I don’t know if Reggie Wayne was more hurt than anyone let on, but he did not look right. And he flat out dropped the final pass, which would have brought the Colts within a touchdown and given them a chance for an onside kick.